The Cheese Thread

[DraconianOne]

Y Fenni 4 lyfe yo am byth.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

[Lantyssa]

Bleh.  I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant.

[Der Helm]

Also, words cannot do justice to the sort of flatulence it caused.  So good. 

/ 

[Trippy]

Bleh.  I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant.

A nice aged hard cheese like an artisanal cheddar will only have trivial amounts of lactose remaining.

[Zetor]

Yep, half my family is lactose intolerant, and eating hard cheese is supposed to be fine. I solved the problem by being a choosy motherfucker who doesn't like cheese to begin with. 

Also, I seem to remember reading about casu marzu (a Sardinian uhhhh... cheese delicacy) in these forums a few years back, so cheese is definitely Serious Business. BTW, don't google casu marzu if you just ate / are just about to eat.

[Rasix]

Bleh.  I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant.

I'm not.  I really love cheese, cheese sauces, cream sauces and cheese cake.  They don't love me for the most part.

Luckily, mine's gotten better and I've been able to more accurately pin down what gives me problems.   I can eat most cheeses and dairy products on their own, but combined with other foods they become a problem.  Also, volume. 

And sometimes, I'll just say "fuck it", eat the cheese (or whatever), and deal with the digestive consequences.  My time in Normandy was full of digestive discomfort, but it was rather tasty.

[Lantyssa]

I do the same with bread.  Life isn't worth living without a bit of bread now and then.

Yep, half my family is lactose intolerant, and eating hard cheese is supposed to be fine. I solved the problem by being a choosy motherfucker who doesn't like cheese to begin with. 

Me, too, but the lactose intolerance gives me a convenient excuse which isn't met with the same disapproving looks as when I say, "I don't like cheese except in extremely light amounts and nearly burnt with very particular combinations of food."

[Ingmar]

A local cheese-making place (what the fuck does one call such a place?  A Cheesery?) here in Denmark makes some stuff that is so god damn delicious that...well, it is tasty.  So wet that the room gets noticeably more humid when you unwrap it.  The problem is, it is so strong that it is absolutely toxic.  The smell is one thing - super powerful - but you cannot touch the thing without your fingers smelling like you fingered a rotten butthole or something, and the smell does not go away for at least 12 hours.  You cannot wash it away with anything.  Just deadly powerful.   We even tried using those disposable latex gloves to handle it, but you would still manage to get it on your skin.   We had to stop buying it.  Also, words cannot do justice to the sort of flatulence it caused.  So good.  Now we just give it to my wife's grandfather as a gift, because his sense of taste and smell is almost gone.

So the pinnacle of the cheesemonger's art is cheese that actually you cannot actually eat or even be in the same room with except for people lacking a sense of taste or smell. That seems very.... meta somehow.

American cheese is shit though. Y Fenni 4 lyfe yo.

I assume you mean the actuall stuff called "American Cheese" (which is not technically cheese at all usually) and not "cheese from America" since the latter would make your statement totally spurious.

[Evildrider]

I'm a freak.  I love most non super stinky cheeses. 

However I have a sick love of:



o=On Ritz crackers.

[MuffinMan]

I tried getting a different kind of cheese each time I went to the store but I've been stuck on this stuff for a few months now.



I eat a 7oz block every 3-4 days.

[Teleku]

It may have been jumping the gun to move this thread out of politics.   

[CmdrSlack]

I really learned to love blue cheeses when I worked for Whole Foods. It's a good thing that they forced me to learn the whole department (I was a wine and beer buyer), because I learned that honey + blue cheese = awesome.

We end up using a lot of good cheeses, and my kid will eat just about any (with the exception of cheeses that contain hot peppers). Bison sliders topped with Manchego are full of win.

[Tale]

Have any of you with opinions about cheese spent much time in France, experiencing a range of French cheeses? I don't want to hear anti-French sentiment, I'm asking for gourmet travel stories, on the topic of how this thread began.

I have French relatives who own a Bordeaux chateau. I've cycled across France twice from west to east, once in the north and once in the south. I also stayed with my relatives for a wedding and a family gathering, so all up I've probably spent three months there.

The French gourmet tradition is one of the greatest things that exists in humanity. I once helped prepare a seven-course meal with matching wines, under the direction of a friend who is a chef from Versailles. We had of course a range of cheeses involved, but the whole experience was like my digestive system had sex with Scarlett Johansson seven times.

As opposed to hating Americans and wishing for 9/11s and dragging this thread into politics as was predicted above, I hate people dismissing things I hold dear, which are declining due to cultural imperialism and multinational brands.

In junk food terms, it's like twinkies ended for real, and all that existed was dry sponge cake. And there was a future thread saying "fuck yeah, sponge cake!". Or something.

[DraconianOne]

Have any of you with opinions about cheese spent much time in France, experiencing a range of French cheeses? I don't want to hear anti-French sentiment, I'm asking for gourmet travel stories, on the topic of how this thread began.

Yes. My honeymoon was two weeks at a relatives villa in Mougins near Cannes - the town where Picasso spent the last years of his life. We spent most of the time eating with meals at L'Armandier (and briefly met the legendary Roger Vergé before his retirement) and the Feu Follet (as it was back then) - but our favourite was the Bistrot de Mougins which we liked a lot more for some reason (lack of pretension?). They had a fantastic foie gras and the cheese selection was to die for.

And I also agree about dismissing things I hold dear - which is why I won't have a word said against British cheeses (unless it's Wensleydale with fucking cranberries).

[apocrypha]

Spent a lot of time in France as a kid, and we ate a lot of cheese, but I wasn't exactly a gourmet between the ages of 5-10. Not that I am now, but I'm at least appreciative and attentive to nice food!

One thing that I do remember though is that the French were very nationalistic about their cheese - it was impossible to get Italian cheeses for instance, no Parmesan!

[IainC]

I lived in France for five years and travelled fairly widely. I loved Brittany and the St Malo area particularly and, while the area is more famous for its seafood, there are a lot of great cheeses there too, the local area has a lot of dairy farms and creameries so they make a lot of artisanal cheeses.

A thing that particularly stood out for me is that even supermarket cheese in France is really, really good. You can buy brand-name cheese from the refrigerated racks and it will be much better cheese than you would find at a deli counter in the US or UK. When you are actually at a proper cheese counter then the needle just goes off the dial. It might be that there are awesome artisan specialty shops in the US but, for the most part, the stuff you can buy over there from national chains like Wholefoods or Trader Joes is crap.

[eldaec]

Re: British cheese, wendsleydale has no power to annoy me in a supermarket when I can choose from 90 or more varieties of bad cheddar stretching across 28 feet of refrigerated display, but only a token brie and feta in the non-cheddar section.

Wendsleydale with (insert fruit) would be a blessed relief in our local tesco.

Thank heaven for waitrose.

[eldaec]

I mean, can the people eating all that cheddar even tell the difference between brand 47 and 48? If they only eat cheddar is it likely they are people seeking that much choice.....

[DraconianOne]

Not all cheddar is created equal...

[IainC]

It is a fact widely acknowledged even amongst my French friends that Britain has better cheese than France. That's not to say that Sainsbury's Cheddar is a revelation in the dairyman's art but there are so many fantastic regional cheeses in Britain that don't get the recognition they deserve abroad.

[eldaec]

Not all cheddar is created equal...

Certainly, I see that, and I can conceive of why a store might choose to stock as many as 4 or 5 types of cheddar before a second Lancashire or even a first Stilton.

But there are thousands of them.... Cheddars without end....

[K9]

Thank heaven for waitrose.

Waitrose is doing an interesting range of cheeses at the moment and I have been trying different ones on a whim. Epoisses is obviously always a great choice, but I have also enjoyed Saint Vernier and a semi decent Gouda. On the other hand, Västerbotten tasted like PVA glue unfortunately, and had an odd texture. I think I'll be trying their Morbier next.

I also picked up some Oxford Isis recently; I'd rate it as pretty good.

[Signe]

Yeah, Waitrose has some nice cheese.  I like Cheddar, the cheese and the guy, and there is a lot of different kinds.  They do taste different, though.  Well, the good ones I think.  I was also lucky enough to live within walking distance of Borough Market and there are some awesome cheese shops in there.  There's a nice French one named Mons Cheesemonger and there's a branch of Neal's Yard, too.  There must be about a dozen cheese shops and delis.  There's an Iberian deli that I hadn't tried but intended to at some point.  Next time.

[Teleku]

Have any of you with opinions about cheese spent much time in France, experiencing a range of French cheeses? I don't want to hear anti-French sentiment, I'm asking for gourmet travel stories, on the topic of how this thread began.

I've been to France on different trips about 5 times now, for a total of around 2 months time.  Every time I've gone to visit various French/Euro friends, whom take me around to the see the sites and eat, primarily.  Went to a wedding with a big dinner like you mentioned, though I'm sure not nearly as extravagant (didn't have 7 courses with different wines paired to each one, but still very nice).  Been to many various parts (Paris, Alsace region, Moulins, Southern, ect).

I like French Food.  I've had just about every sort of French soft/hard cheese whose names I can't pronounce shoved down my throat, and I liked most of them.  I've enjoyed all my trips.

Having said that, I really don't think the food, cheese, or even wine is anything to go crazy over.  May be a taste thing, but I find the harder aged cheeses to be vastly superior in flavor to the majority of the cheeses on the chart that sparked this jihad.  Most of the French soft cheeses are either various levels of bland or way to pungent in a bad bad way.  I'm still fine with eating them, and enjoy spreading them on bread or having them used in what ever dish, I just didn't find them to be superior to the artisanal aged cheeses I can find in America and elsewhere.  Once more, when getting various said French cheeses in America, made by American dairies, I've found the flavor to be very similar to what I had in France.  Maybe pasteurization only kills the flavor of the cheeses I don't like, I don't know.

Overall, I consider French Food to be average.  They do some shit really well (the sauce based dishes and pastries are world shattering), but I find a lot of the food to be merely ok, or even boring (though I discovered Steak Tartar while visiting, found I really liked it, and have ordered some every time I've gone to visit.  Which has scared the hell out of other friends and family).  After all this time, I've still not been able to figure out what the hype around French food is, and have dismissed it off to trendiness and/or hype.  Especially when I've found Italian, Spanish, and even Japanese food/culture to absolutely destroy the French's on a massive scale.

I'm seriously not trying to troll you with this.  You asked about people with experience, and I'm giving it.  I still thinks its all tasty, but on a personal level when I hear this:

The French gourmet tradition is one of the greatest things that exists in humanity. I once helped prepare a seven-course meal with matching wines, under the direction of a friend who is a chef from Versailles. We had of course a range of cheeses involved, but the whole experience was like my digestive system had sex with Scarlett Johansson seven times.

I'm just not seeing it, in the slightest.  But hey, to each their own.  Obviously you and many others are very passionate about French food and cheese.


To all the Brits, can you link some examples of what you all consider to be your amazing cheese's?  Not sure if I've tried many of the strictly British styles, and I have a feeling they may be more up my ally.

[IainC]

If you prefer hard cheeses then I'd suggest a nice Cheshire or Wensleydale which are crumbly and fairly sharp cheeses that go really well with fruit.

Double Gloucester makes a very nice alternative to cheddar.

Sage Derby is a very flavourful cheese made with sage and sometimes mint.

Y Fenni is one of my favourite cheeses, it's a mature cheddar with mustard seeds and ale.

Caboc is a really nice choice to finish a meal with.

Finally a decent Somerset brie is at least as good as any French version.

[rattran]

Red Leicester makes the best grilled cheese sammiches.

[Signe]

Red Leicester is probably my fav British cheese.  My father in law swears by the Stilton from Darbyshire which is a blue cheese. 

[K9]

I'm a big fan of a good Yarg

[eldaec]

British cheese tradition also spawned British chutney tradition, which can be more impressive than the cheese.

[DraconianOne]

There are several hundred different types of British cheese and there is no way that this thread will do justice to them. But anyway:

Everyone's talking about the well known types of cheese, but if you dig around, you can find some great cheeses elsewhere - my parents ran a restaurant in West Wales for 35 years and had a regular supply of local welsh cheeses  so we had Llanboidy, Pant Mawr (Cerwyn), Llangloffan, Perl Las Blue, Golden Cenarth (which is like camembert - fantastic for baking and then having with crusty bread and wine ) and Smoked Caerfili. But you can pretty much only order those cheeses direct from the supplier and may not find them in supermarkets at all.

I'm currently very much liking Tunworth which you can get from Waitrose (and I'm hoping my local shop still has some) and I've also found out that a lot of farms near us produce lots of goats cheese. My current favourite is Wobbly Bottom but that's because of the name more than the cheese. So puerile!

Cheddar gets a bad rap because it usually has a load of food colouring added and the sweet tasting, mild stuff you regularly find in supermarkets is one step away from the processed crap you get - but a decent, mature, cave aged cheddar is entirely different. I very much like the Wookey Hole cave aged cheddar from Ford Farm which is proper PDO West Country cheddar and was the supreme champion at last years International Cheese Awards.

Finally - as Rattran already mentioned cheese on toast - I again heartily endorse Iain's recommendation of Y Fenni because it's fantastic to use in Welsh Rarebit (grated cheese mixed with egg, a splash of beer, seasoning and grilled).

Is it lunchtime yet?

[lamaros]

Can we have a steak tartare thread? Golly its yum. Basically the only thing I look forward to if forced to eat french..

On topic: I like hard sharp cheeses. And Swiss cheese with mushrooms on a burger...

[Teleku]

Well, I ran down to Whole Foods and was able to have them carve off a hunk of Wensleydale for me.  Just tried, and its really damn good.  Thanks for the recommendation! 

I'll try to keep some of the other names in mind in the future, but looks pretty hard to get alot of these British varieties.

[Strazos]

I always thought the French did cheeses, breads, and pastries better than everyone else - I don't think French when I'm looking for a main course.

[Signe]

I like Italian and Indian breads more than French.  I do like French food, though, when I'm out, about and rich.  Which is now never.  :)

[Ingmar]

I always thought the French did cheeses, breads, and pastries better than everyone else - I don't think French when I'm looking for a main course.

I'd put our bread here up against anyone's, personally.