The Cheese Thread

[Nevermore]

Mozzarella and tomatoes with styrian pumpkin seed oil Balsamic vinegar. Some brown bread to go with it. Perfect in summer.

Fixed.

[Xuri]

Did someone say cheese?

[DraconianOne]

I'm confused (easily done!) This cheese thread in the politics forum - am I meant to be talking about my favourite cheese, why I can't get my favourite cheese, why cheddar should only be made in Cheddar, unpastuerised cheese, why cheese with fruit in it should be banned or how the US cheese processing methods contribute to climate change?

 

[Cyrrex]

I just didn't know....

Well next time you'll Google before asking a question on a board full of people who will definitely use Google.

Fixed.  And we have a cheese thread in the politics forum, which is just outstanding.

[tgr]

So now we can have some cheese with all the whine.

[Tebonas]

I considered all those topics, but I settle for "Man does Xuris cheese look disgustingly dry."

[angry.bob]

So now we can have some cheese with all the whine.

You won the internet with that.

[WayAbvPar]

This is what brie is meant to look like



I'm pretty sure if you pasteurise it or let it get too old then it goes all stodgy.

And Ironwood agrees with me.

I think I saw this pic in the condom wall exhibit.

[Signe]

Okay, WAPs comment definitely put me off my cheese.   

[Engels]

Well there is a slight similarity in smell.

[tgr]

And taste/texture?

[Tale]

Fuck your ignorance.

The cheese thread is in politics and you're infested with guns.

[pxib]

A year or two ago at work I was walking down the stairwell and smelled something awful. It was like somebody had farted as they passed, or hadn't showered in a week or two. Then, halfway down, I realized it was cheese... and my whole perception shifted 180 degrees. "Mmm," said the next thought, "I wonder if I can have some."

I immediately realized how insane that was and I really haven't been particularly eager for stinky cheeses ever since.

[Samwise]

Think about it like this -- clothes fresh from the dryer smell really good, but the idea of putting a dryer sheet in your mouth is not good, and if you were thinking about it in those terms, the smell would lose some of its appeal.  It's not insane for a smell that would be bad in some contexts to translate to something that's good to eat.

[apocrypha]

We're in the middle of getting our entire kitchen ripped out and replaced with one that isn't fucked, so there's a high chance that we will have no means of cooking come Christmas. Therefore we have decided that our Christmas meal will consist of lots of really nice bread and cheeses.

I'm really looking forward to it!

I do love stinky cheeses, and soft cheeses, but I'm also a big fan of Nordic cheeses. Not overly keen on cheeses with too much fruit in them though, it's rare that that works for me.

Much better than guns.

[HaemishM]

Think about it like this -- clothes fresh from the dryer smell really good, but the idea of putting a dryer sheet in your mouth is not good

Actually, I saw one of those reality shows on TLC or some shit about a chick who had a fetish for eating dryer sheets. She was eating them so much they were literally poisoning her but she couldn't quit.

[Tale]

[misunderstood context of post - ignore me]

[Pennilenko]

Well next time you'll Google before asking a question on a board full of Geeks hipsters, won't you.

Fixed.

[Rasix]

[Tale]

You cheese-haters did this to us didn't you?

[Teleku]

The Brie in France taste the same as Brie made in America.  I don't believe in this unpasturized shit, glad we have it banned.

God my Norweigan friends are so proud of there brown cheese.  That and bread are literally all we eat when I come to visit.  All of us forign friends never have the heart to tell them we don't think it's really that great.   

[tgr]

How can you possibly call our brown cheese "not that great"?

[Teleku]

Its just kind of.......bland.

[angry.bob]

Its just kind of.......bland.

If it's the extremely hard brown cheese that is nearly identical to plastic in texture, than "bland" is being very generous. I wnet through almost a third of a block once thinking it just had a really thick rind. Tasting it didn't provide much evidence to the contrary.

[palmer_eldritch]

The Brie in France taste the same as Brie made in America.  I don't believe in this unpasturized shit, glad we have it banned.

God my Norweigan friends are so proud of there brown cheese.  That and bread are literally all we eat when I come to visit.  All of us forign friends never have the heart to tell them we don't think it's really that great.  

Well they do sell pasteurised brie in France, so that probably tastes the same.

But unpasteurised and pasteurised are different. If they really taste the same to you then there's something wrong.

With your mouth.

It might help if you have a culture where eating food is considered inherently risky. A few outbreaks of listeria, salmonella and bovine spongiform encephalopathy would soon cure American hang-ups about food safety.

[Teleku]

Well they do sell pasteurised brie in France, so that probably tastes the same.

Well, I guess its possible thats all I had.  But just like Norway, every time I go to France (and I've been there quite a bit at this point), all my French friends ever seem to do is eat god damn Brie and baguettes all day long.  All of there friends and family as well.  And it all tasted the same.  So I can only assume the French hate the unpasteurized Brie as well.   

It might help if you have a culture where eating food is considered inherently risky.

We broke off from England for a reason man.

[tgr]

We broke off from England for a reason man.

Uncouth food heathens.

[TheWalrus]

Unless Tale plans on making another appearance, this could probably be one of the few threads actually moved out of politics.

[sickrubik]

Its just kind of.......bland.

If it's the extremely hard brown cheese that is nearly identical to plastic in texture, than "bland" is being very generous. I wnet through almost a third of a block once thinking it just had a really thick rind. Tasting it didn't provide much evidence to the contrary.

bland... went through almost a third of a block...

Seriously, just stop eating.

[CmdrSlack]

Unless Tale plans on making another appearance, this could probably be one of the few threads actually moved out of politics.

No, I'm sure that Americans are, on the whole, cunts that deserve what they get, in particular 9/11, school shootings, and kitten rape. Oh and Bengazi. I am sure I spelled it wrong, but, to be honest, the only -gazi with which I am really familiar is Fugazi.

[Kageru]

That's why, for safety, I prefer my cheese has included penicillin... Roaring 40's blue cheese. My main pleasure over the coming holiday, along with good sour-dough bread and a nice deep red wine.

I must say carving slices from that cheese brick, if that's what people are talking about, didn't look that appetising. I've not had the opportunity to taste it though.

[DraconianOne]

That's why, for safety, I prefer my cheese has included penicillin... Roaring 40's blue cheese. My main pleasure over the coming holiday, along with good sour-dough bread and a nice deep red wine.

That looks great. Doesn't look like they export to the UK though   

[Ingmar]

I've had Roaring 40s, it shows up here at Whole Foods from time to time - quite good.

[Cyrrex]

A local cheese-making place (what the fuck does one call such a place?  A Cheesery?) here in Denmark makes some stuff that is so god damn delicious that...well, it is tasty.  So wet that the room gets noticeably more humid when you unwrap it.  The problem is, it is so strong that it is absolutely toxic.  The smell is one thing - super powerful - but you cannot touch the thing without your fingers smelling like you fingered a rotten butthole or something, and the smell does not go away for at least 12 hours.  You cannot wash it away with anything.  Just deadly powerful.   We even tried using those disposable latex gloves to handle it, but you would still manage to get it on your skin.   We had to stop buying it.  Also, words cannot do justice to the sort of flatulence it caused.  So good.  Now we just give it to my wife's grandfather as a gift, because his sense of taste and smell is almost gone.

[IainC]

A local cheese-making place (what the fuck does one call such a place?  A Cheesery?) here in Denmark makes some stuff that is so god damn delicious that...well, it is tasty.  So wet that the room gets noticeably more humid when you unwrap it.  The problem is, it is so strong that it is absolutely toxic.  The smell is one thing - super powerful - but you cannot touch the thing without your fingers smelling like you fingered a rotten butthole or something, and the smell does not go away for at least 12 hours.  You cannot wash it away with anything.  Just deadly powerful.   We even tried using those disposable latex gloves to handle it, but you would still manage to get it on your skin.   We had to stop buying it.  Also, words cannot do justice to the sort of flatulence it caused.  So good.  Now we just give it to my wife's grandfather as a gift, because his sense of taste and smell is almost gone.

So the pinnacle of the cheesemonger's art is cheese that actually you cannot actually eat or even be in the same room with except for people lacking a sense of taste or smell. That seems very.... meta somehow.

American cheese is shit though. Y Fenni 4 lyfe yo.