~D&M~ Preseason 5 Round 4

[eldaec]

Pre-Season 5 Drilling and Manliness - Round 4 of 6

Half way stage, current standings...

1	Emporers of the Pitch
2	Ermine Vermin
3	Pound Pound Mantrain
4	Calidor Fancypants
5	Sissyfaced Nancies
6	Chanson Dada
7	Lesser Immortals
8	Going Forth By Day
9	Fianna Chulain
10	Howls and Bones
11	Bridgeburners
12	Aery Faery's (sic)
13	Pro Elves for Hoes
14	Kenosha Maroons
15	Midnight Bleat Train
16	Festering Wounds
17	Stir Fry
18	Sons of the West
19	Blue Line
20	The Fantasticks
21	Wrong Games
22	Court of the Moon
23	SPHINX

Festering Wounds and The Fantasticks still need to play their round 3 match, for the purposes of pairing round 4 they are treated as having both won. 'something crazy' haven't been seen for a fortnight, so I'm considering their matches to be BYEs at this point.

So, here are your round 4 fixtures....

Emporers of the Pitch	2 - 1	Ermine Vermin
Pound Pound Mantrain	0 - 2	Fianna Chulain
Calidor Fancypants	0 - 1	Lesser Immortals
Festering Wounds	0 - 1	Chanson Dada
Sissyfaced Nancies	1 - 5	Pro Elves for Hoes
The Fantasticks	0 - 1	Going Forth By Day
Howls and Bones	0 - 2	Bridgeburners
Kenosha Maroons	~vs~	Stir Fry
Aery Faery's (sic)	~vs~	Wrong Games
Blue Line	2 - 0	Sons of the West
Midnight Bleat Train	2 - 1	SPHINX
Court of the Moon		BYE

TO BE PLAYED BY 1st SEPTEMBER 00:01 GMT+2

WTF, I don't even...



Who Is <insert team>?!

[Sjofn]

Fuck, I don't want to play Ingmar! 

At least scheduling will be easy.

[Strazos]

Comstar, let me know when you want to steamroll my Fail Elves.

[Comstar]

Check your PM. I hope we can play a bit early, so afterwards I can go pick up Deus Ex.

[Ice Cream Emperor]

Sky, whenyawannaplay?

I'm leaving town on Saturday and my schedule prior to that is kind of messy, but I am hoping we can figure out a time before I go, since I will then be largely computerless for the next two weeks, and consequently unable to play any Blood Bowl.

Tonight (Wednesday) or Friday evening seem like the two best windows for me. I am PST. Let me know if either of those work -- I will also be on Steam at various hours, so we might be able to arrange something that way.

[Ruvaldt]

1	Emporers of the Pitch
2	Ermine Vermin

Emporers of the Pitch	~vs~	Ermine Vermin

There can be only one!   

[Strazos]

Comstar and I just got our game done. Pretty much a repeat of my last game, in that my elves refuse to do anything productive for most of the game. Except for a single fortuitous turn, they pretty much failed at whatever they tried:

1+ catch with catch skill - 1 1 = fail
1+ dodges with dodge - 1 1 = fail
Blocks that only need something other than a skull to come up - skull = fail

Comstar played well, not that there was a whole lot I could do to stop him, especially when he's allowed to dodge at will and I am not.

Edit: Oh yeah, a simple GFI - 1 = dead thrower
And only 1 KO roll succeeded the whole game, after I bought an ale.

[Comstar]

Sissyfaced Nancies 1 ~vs~  Pro Elves for Hoes 5

The lower skilled team seemingly couldn't do ANYTHING right. A GFI ended in a death. Simple passes are flubbed. The Bloodwiser Babes never woke anyone up. Jordell Freshbrezze can't throw the ball, pick up the ball, hit the ball or do anything useful. I think I failed one roll (A pass) and everything else worked when I needed it. Having 4 rerolls to 1 also helped. Princess Luna, my AG 5 Dodging Leaping Catching Nerves of Steel star player, got 4 TD's out of 5, and gained block.

Elf Bullshit wins the day.

I'm still a elf down for my next game, but at least I have 11 players now.

[Modern Angel]

Alright lamaros. Come take you whuppin

[lamaros]

I'll be home in about an hour then free for a fair while if you're about.

[Modern Angel]

Yep. Just nab me on Steam

[Gruntle]

Fuck, I don't want to play Ingmar! 

At least scheduling will be easy.

At least you got a game to play.

[Sky]

Tonight (Wednesday) or Friday evening seem like the two best windows for me. I am PST. Let me know if either of those work -- I will also be on Steam at various hours, so we might be able to arrange something that way.

Let's shoot for Friday night, I'm EDT and generally available for gaming after 10pm.

[Modern Angel]

The number of 1s I'm rolling is 

Honest to god, we're talking four and five rolls at a stretch. 1s.

[Strazos]

You should check my replay - I can't imagine what Comstar was feeling, seeing all those gifts (granted, his team and play with elves is better anyway, but still).

[Modern Angel]

I have never, ever seen anything like that. I've never been truly frustrated by my rolls but it finally happened. It's the first time I've ever felt like there were bugs in the game's dice roller.

Overall, 25% of my rolls were 1s. That includes rerolls. This is pretty high. But the insane thing is that I had a stretch where 9 of 12 rolls were 1s. That's statistically improbable.

[lamaros]

Lesser Immortals v The Number 1 ended in a win for the Immortals.

The Fancypants rolled 9 1s from 12 during the middle of the game. A bizzare stretch. They rolled double 1s on 5 occasions.

A rotter was killed. I just stalled all day long and took it 1-0 in my final turn.

[Sjofn]

Fuck, I don't want to play Ingmar! 

At least scheduling will be easy.

At least you got a game to play.

Aw, I'm sure Ingmar would play you TOO.

[Gruntle]

...
At least you got a game to play.

Aw, I'm sure Ingmar would play you TOO.

Hey if Ingmar wants to, I'd be up for playing him. As I understand it he's also been shorted a game with a de facto "Something Crazy" bye the previous week.
So yeah, Ingmar, let me know.

-G

Maybe we could also put Lamaros (who got skipped in the 2nd week) up against whoever gets next week's bye (if Lamaros is willing to play two games in a week).

[eldaec]

Hmm... 470k inducements and 160k in the treasury.

Rat Ogres, Chefs, Wizards, so many options....

[Ingmar]

I don't think there's any rule about playing outside games during this, since it's all still the feeder league, so sure.

[Sky]

Theoretically, I could still play my game against Sjofn 

[eldaec]

Not just theoretically, that is what you should do, this is why you have a above.

[proudft]

The only reason my goblins have been not playing extra games is my TV is already too damn high and playing without bribes is getting really annoying. 

Level up faster, you slacker other teams!

[Ingmar]

I am resigned to my overvaluedness. Stupid expensive mummies.

[Gruntle]

Whether or not it counts for anything, I thought I'd report it here that Ingmar's Going Forth By Day met my Court of the Moon on the bloodbowl pitch to determine the supremacy between the cycles of the sun and the moon -- and it resolved in a 1-1 tie.

[Ulysees]

I'd love to catch up with your TV value Proudft, however my last 2 games against Norse teams have lost me 500 points in TV!! They certainly got the name right with this game.

[Megrim]

Pound Pound Mantrain 0 - 2 Fianna Chulain

Damned elves replaced the ball with a live pig! Could barely hold onto the thing in the first half, and didn't even manage to make it out of my side of the pitch in the second.  

[IainC]

Fianna Chulain 2 - 0 Pound Pound Mantrain.

Megrim won the toss and elected to kick. The ball goes high and is easily caught by my thrower who finds himself closer than he'd like to the line of scrimmage. He scrambles back to safety while the elves on the line push the sweaty manlings away. A handful of brave Elves run forwards between the outstretched arms of the humans ready to receive a pass. The Norse respond in their usual, direct manner and an elf hits the floor before the Yehtee decides it wants part of the action and trips over itself trying to devour a second Elf. The Elves push forwards again and Caractacus sees a good target for a pass but fumbles the ball. The Norse try to capitalise on this (not very) rare display of Elvish ineptitude but are so excited at the prospect of maybe getting to touch the ball that one of them overextends on a blitz and ends up planting himself face first in the pitch. The Elves push the ball out of the scrum using the head of a handy Norseman and then clear away a couple of other markers before Caractacus calmly scoops the ball and throws it (accurately this time) to Horsa who is clear down pitch. Horsa walks in the first score on turn 3 and there's now a game on.

For the second drive, the ball is kicked very deep into the Norse half and the Norse busy themselves with bringing down the slight numerical superiority of the Elves.Two pointy-eared salad-munchers are wheeled off the pitch from the initial round of blocks but Mab the Wardancer takes down a Norseman in turn to keep things equal. The Norse cage up as they generally do and the Elves start to try and surround them. The Yehtee bodyslams my catcher but the Norse are still hemmed in by angry fairies. I intended my Wardancer to make a leap and blitz but I forgot to click Blitz before doing the pathing for her and she ended up wasting her move. The Norse grind down the pitch and the Yehtee surfs a Line-Elf off the pitch and then a Norseman stuns himself trying to dodge away to help with the scrum. This time I get the Wardancer into the fray but she only manages a push. I move a couple of unengaged Elves into the way of the human with the ball and hope that he can't break through. The Norse push a Line-Elf over but Mab is too slippery for the Yehtee and he falls over trying to blitz her down. This time Mab manages to get the ball carrier down, he goes flying off the pitch while the fans throw the ball back on not far from where it went out of bounds. I try and get an Elf to it but he trips over trying to dodge away. In the last turn of the half, the Norse surf two more Elves off the pitch (both just stunned by the crowd) but fail to pick up the ball and the whistle blows for a 1-0 Elvish lead at half time.

Only nine players from each team climb out of the dugouts for the second half. Again the kick is very long and again, the Norse start by pushing Elves around - although not with very much success. Once again the Norse prove to be bad at picking up the ball so I put some pressure on them by pouring a lot of players into their half. Focused by the fierce looking Elves bearing down on them, the Humans grab the ball and manage to successfully hand it off. Immediately Mab leaps in and mugs him, scattering the ball into a heavily contested area of the pitch. Hengist the catcher picks it up and starts to wish he had a few more friendly bodies close by. The Norse take him down with ease and the ball scatters around three different Elven players who all fail to catch it, mostly due to the Disturbing Presence of the Yehtee. The Norse push over a couple more Elves then once again fail to pick the ball up. By now there's a big scrum of players around it and no-one really likes the idea of reaching in and trying to grab it. Mab pushes a Norseman into the ball in an attempt to knock it clear but it bounces into the hands of a Line-Elf who has already thrown a block this turn. Some space is made but there's neither the room nor the bodies available to make a proper cage. As expected the Norse push the ball carrier over again and also take down a couple more while they are at it. They try the same trick as the Elves, using the face of a nearby Elf to bat the ball clear. The ball bounces crazily about for a while slipping through the grasp of three different Norsemen before coming to rest pretty much where it started. A Line Elf gets the ball after a flying Elf lands on it and is then promptly mugged in turn. The Norse manage to clear a bit of space and finally a Werewolf grabs the ball and a cage forms around him. The Elves are emboldened and start to chip away at the cage, scoring the first actual injury of the match when a Lineman has his ribs broken. The Apothecary sorts him out however and he's fine after a bit of a lie down. The Norse start to push forwards and are in the centre of the pitch again when a heroic block from a Line-ELf takes down the Werewolf and scatters the ball. Hengist the catcher grabs it and carries it out of the melee. Unfortunately for him, the Yehtee can reach him and it contemptuously bats him aside, scoring the second injury of the game in the process. An Elf grabs the ball and, despite the nearby Yehtee, throws it perfectly to a Line-Elf stood nearby. Unfortunately, the second Elf doesn't manage to keep his eyes on the ball and fluffs the catch. The Norse once again grab the ball but again, fail to throw it accurately. The ball bounces around before landing in the hands of Vercingetorix who promptly dodges away from his markers and makes two GfI rolls to score the second Elven TD on the last turn of the game.

I earned enough gold to replace the missing Wardancer that Ruvaldt killed and two Elves ranked up - Horsa the Catcher is now Agi 5 and Vercingetorix learned to Dodge.

[Ice Cream Emperor]

Let's shoot for Friday night, I'm EDT and generally available for gaming after 10pm.

I should be back home by 10ish your time, maybe a bit later, will look for you on Steam then.

[Bann]

Blue line 2 - 0 Sons of the West

Early 1st half concession by the Sons of the West. I believe Hoax just isn't that into his team, and they took a few injuries early. Eh, lifes to short to play games you dont wanna play, so I believe we are both in LOL now as I type this.

1 beastman leveled to 3 for me, took sure hands.

[Ruvaldt]

Eh, lifes to short to play games you dont wanna play

I agree, but I also think that if someone doesn't want to play the game then they shouldn't sign up.

[HaemishM]

Who is Carnifex on f13? I haven't been able to find him on Steam and I want to give him a PM.

[Ice Cream Emperor]

Chanson Dada squeak out a 1-0 win over Festering Wounds with a final turn pickup-handoff-GFI TD.

Kind of a weird game. Sky's Necro squad took a fairly risk-positive approach to the game, with lots of 1d blocks and Dodging about, but their huge Block and Dodge advantage made this a pretty good idea. The Chaos team could barely get anyone on the ground for most of the first half, though they managed to break their ball carrier free for an end-run around the line -- getting him free and clear only to run up against two straight turns of double-skull reroll double-skull (some of which were skull/pows, but see previous lack of Block.) In the end Sky was able to force the beastman into a reroll-less dodge towards the endzone, which he failed miserably.

The risky approach didn't work quite as well for the Necros in the second half -- they tried a very elfy drive, using werewolves as receivers, but the long pass attempt from the ghoul was fumbled and one of the werewolves ended up bloody for his troubles and will miss the next game. After a whole lot of standing-around-the-ball-unwilling-to-try-a-pickup from both teams, the Chaos squad eventually got a decent bounce and were able to gain possession, slowly moving upfield. The skulls made a brief reappearance, however, turning another relatively straightforward drive into a desperate dash for the endzone -- which the Necros stopped with a dodgerrific mark-and-blitz from the remaining werewolf. Unfortunately the same wolf overextended trying to pick up the ball, falling over and giving the Dadaists one final shot at victory. A pickup, handoff, and GFI later, and Nuffle blessed them with the win.

Picabia! picked up his second MVP and so I finally have a Chaos Warrior with Block. The team also christened their designated ball carrier, with the first level 3 Beastman picking up Sure Hands.

--

Unfortunately it seems likely I will miss the next round (if there is a next round -- how long is this going for?), though if this week extends long enough I might make it back in time for the end of the next one.

[HaemishM]

[F13] Bridgeburners 2 - Howls and Bones 0

This wasn't as bad a romp as the score appears. I inflicted plenty of injuries, but continuously shot myself in the foot by being unable to pick up or pass the ball even on easy opportunities. I could have had a touchdown late in the 2nd half, but went for a nothing 2D block and ended up with a both down result on a guy without block. I still had the opportunity to score with a ghoul on the last turn, but he failed the pickup roll. Carnifex played a good game, despite not really being able to get many armor breaks.

I leveled a werewolf and ghoul to 2 and got a 2nd flesh golem afterwards. I think that 2nd big guy will help.