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Velorath
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Trailer here.I'm only making this topic for one reason. Apparently this movie has a $200 million budget. A movie based off a board game, with Aliens randomly thrown in, combined with the romantic sub-plot from Armageddon, is Universal's big movie to kick off the Summer next year.
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Surlyboi
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Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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Saw the trailer for this in Cowboys and Aliens and was like, "Liam Neeson's gonna go all Taken on this guy's ass..."
And then the fucking Michael Bay Transformers showed up and I was like, "Pass."
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Sheepherder
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What is this I don't even
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stu
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The director of this was college roomies with Ari (Entourage) Emanuel.  Berg has made some good movies, so I'm down. |
Dear Diary,
Jackpot!
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Sir T
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To be honest if done right this could be a pretty good Popcorn and Coke movie. Totally silly but hey.
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Evildrider
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Posts: 5521
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The only thing they can actually take from the game is a battleship and sea battles. So there is a chance it could be a good summer action flick.
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Didn't you see the little "peg" weapons that the aliens fired at the ships? Heh.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Evildrider
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Didn't you see the little "peg" weapons that the aliens fired at the ships? Heh.
Shhhhhhh I choose to not have seen that.  |
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Margalis
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A battleship is like the perfect thing to fight flying aliens with!
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42630
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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What is this I don't even
Yeah. I dig Peter Berg as a director because he does some things with his movies that you really don't expect when you watch the trailers. Like Kingdom of Heaven, which looked like a non-stop action flick from the trailer, then turned out the entire trailer was taken from the last 20 minute set piece battle which was the only set piece in the flick. Or Hancock, which took a turn 90 degrees sideways halfway through the movie. But this trailer pummels me about the face with stupidity. From Here to Eternia with Ships or some shit. Just really really really stupid. It watches like a Michael Bay coke bender. |
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Ghambit
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This movie seems more in line with the recent boardgame release, Battleship: Galaxies. In that, I have some hope there will be some actual capital ship scale galactic starship warfare. If it's aliens vs. navy at sea... pfft Seriously?
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"See, the beauty of webgames is that I can play them on my phone while I'm plowing your mom." -Samwise
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SnakeCharmer
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This is just...I don't...what? That was t e r r i b l e.
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K9
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Uh
Ah
Hmmm
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I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
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shiznitz
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Posts: 4268
the plural of mangina
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I think this is the second preview with the actor that plays Eric Northman in True Blood that i have seen recently. Glad he is getting work.
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I have never played WoW.
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Lakov_Sanite
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Posts: 7590
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The only way this could be good is if it's all one big VR simulation set in the future. All the regular battleships and uniforms we see are actually people in the VR sim wearing "old" style naval clothes and with ancient tech, then we see them trying to fight against modern day tech and somehow winning what should be an un winnable situation.
The movie of course is nothing like that but hey, it'd have been interesting.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Soln
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4737
the opportunity for evil is just delicious
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Movies have become so meta that they are now parodies of themselves. Witness this and Cowboys and Aliens.
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lamaros
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Trailer lacked energy, how boring will the film itself be?
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SurfD
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I will go and see this movie for one reason: Solely to see if anyone, at any time during the movie, says "you sunk my battle ship". If someone does not, I start looking for contract killers.
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Darwinism is the Gateway Science.
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Chimpy
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That trailer looked absofuckingterrible.
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'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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Furiously
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I will go and see this movie for one reason: Solely to see if anyone, at any time during the movie, says "you sunk my battle ship". If someone does not, I start looking for contract killers.
My hope is they lose the fight against the transformer and Liam's last line is, "You sunk my battleship." |
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Miasma
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Stopgap Measure
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Mrbloodworth
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That author simply hates life and fun, and possibly breathing. |
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Margalis
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That author simply hates life and fun, and possibly breathing.
Reading that was probably far more fun than the movie is going to be. |
vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Sheepherder
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What I can't wrap my head around is the motherfucking aliens. It's like they completely fail to understand what battleships do, or how you could make an action movie about them.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Liam Neeson, Zeus from Wrath of the Titans, the soulless sequel to 2010's Clash of the Titans, which was itself a screeching 3D remake of a campy classic, stars as Admiral Serious. Some horrible, possibly skiing-related, life event in the past couple years has turned him into a nihilist who will say anything and mean it for a paycheck. Stack enough zeroes on a piece of paper and he'll show up at your kid's birthday party and let them play opposite him as Amon Goethe in a bouncy castle. Ouch, ouch and just wow. You know your career's in the shitter when the role used to explain who you are is in one of the worst remakes ever. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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WindupAtheist
Army of One
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Badicalthon
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"You're just a dick who quotes himself in his sig." -- Schild
"Yeah, it's pretty awesome." -- Me
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Tannhauser
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This years "Snakes on a Plane?"
I kind of want to see this just so I can say I saw the stupidest piece of shit to hit theaters this year.
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SurfD
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This years "Snakes on a Plane?"
I kind of want to see this just so I can say I saw the stupidest piece of shit to hit theaters this year.
No matter how hard Battleship sucks, it still won't take that prize away from the next Twilight movie. |
Darwinism is the Gateway Science.
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Khaldun
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PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME.
Why would a studio buy intellectual property rights for a premise that they could have without them? Do they REALLY think that putting "Battleship" on a film independent of whether the film sucks will sell even one more ticket? There is so much evidence now that it doesn't--just tons of films where the property didn't sell tickets commensurate with its non-film popularity. If the film is good, it sells. Meaning, why not make a good film without paying for the property? It's really fucking baffling.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
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Maybe Milton Bradley needed something to renew the copyright on "Battleship".
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lamaros
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Are they doing a game tie-in they hope to make money off?
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K9
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PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME.
Why would a studio buy intellectual property rights for a premise that they could have without them? Do they REALLY think that putting "Battleship" on a film independent of whether the film sucks will sell even one more ticket? There is so much evidence now that it doesn't--just tons of films where the property didn't sell tickets commensurate with its non-film popularity. If the film is good, it sells. Meaning, why not make a good film without paying for the property? It's really fucking baffling.
Someone posted an article a while back which gave a good explanation of why Hollywood is really playing it safe right now. Sequels and existing IPs (even tenuous ones such as this) are seen as far safer money than new stories. This is why we are seeing so many comic adaptations, sequels, trilogies and book adaptations right now, and fewer big new stories. |
I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
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Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283
Stopgap Measure
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I don't know much about navies but I thought they stopped making actual battleship class vessels decades ago.
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Ghambit
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This is what we have to offer the world. Battleship is our export. This is why nobody likes the United States any more. It's why the terrorists are winning. |
"See, the beauty of webgames is that I can play them on my phone while I'm plowing your mom." -Samwise
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Sheepherder
Terracotta Army
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I don't know much about navies but I thought they stopped making actual battleship class vessels decades ago. The last US one launched in 1944. They still nominally have two in reserve. |
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Author
. - schild