The Hobbit (2012/2013)

[Simond]

There they were sheltering under a hanging rock for the night, and he lay beneath a blanket and shook from head to toe. When he peeped out in the lightning-flashes, he saw that across the valley the stone-giants were out and were hurling rocks at one another for a. game, and catching them, and tossing them down into the darkness where they smashed among the trees far below, or splintered into little bits with a bang. [...] They could hear the giants guffawing and shouting all over the mountainsides. [...] "This won't do at all!" said Thorin. "If we don't get blown off or drowned, or struck by lightning, we shall be picked up by some giant and kicked sky-high for a football." [...] As they passed under the arch, it was good to hear the wind and the rain outside instead of all about them, and to feel safe from the giants and their rocks.

Yes, it actually says football.

...and?

(Football, of one type or another, has been played for a very long time).

[Samwise]

I like that passage better than the movie's version of it.  Less serious business and suspenseless action.

[Merusk]

Saw it today; it's too long by at least 45 minutes.  While I liked the addition of some of the back story, like how Thorin earned his name, it feels stretched-out and padded in too many places.  "Epic" doesn't necessarily mean "ponderous and Long-winded" but to Jackson it certainly does.   Not quite  happy about the addition of the Orc-with-a-cause as too many other pieces of the story are being changed around to fit that, too.

It's not so much "The Hobbit" as it is, "Peter Jackon's; Prequel to The Lord of the Rings."   It's not terrible but I'll wait until the next two are on DVD/ Netflix before bothering again.

[Ironwood]

It's not so much "The Hobbit" as it is, "Peter Jackon's; Prequel to The Lord of the Rings."   

If only someone had predicted that.

 

[Merusk]

Just confirming it for you, oh literate one.

[Ironwood]

Not that literate;  I can't even figure out how to quote myself from Page 18.

And I'm still trying to figure out why someone would rather have Dragonlance when, you know, they kinda did Dragonlance and it was an utter abortion.

[Setanta]

As much as I liked it I still wished it was Dragonlance though.

I would love to see this done well. Both the first series and the twins series, maybe even Huma and the Dragonlances.

But I'm not convinced it will ever be done well.

I'm looking forward to seeing the Hobbit, but am abstaining from re-reading the book because I have a feeling the book will ruin the movie. I'll wait and see where Jackson takes me.

[Ingmar]

I kind of feel like Dragonlance is well below the 'too shitty to mention in the same thread as the Hobbit' line as books, let alone whatever abortion of a movie they could get made into.

[Zetor]

They just need to make a movie about tinker gnomes. Or possibly a sitcom.

[Numtini]

I felt it was long, possibly because I'm not used to seeing movies at the theatres, but when I think back on it, the only real bit I'd leave out would be the giants. Then, my partner and I have been known to do marathons of the extended LOTR movies.

[Lakov_Sanite]

I was going to watch this Sunday but when the Missus and I talked about it, neither us were ready for a three hour investment in the theatre.

[Rishathra]

Maybe all the comments about it being overlong/padded prepared me, because it didn't seem to drag too badly for me.  Not that it definitely couldn't have been shorter, but it never felt like an interminable slog. 

I liked the backstory scenes.  It's about time we see dwarves being proper badasses as opposed to just (poorly done) comic relief.  Thorin may have been more serious than he was portrayed in the book, but I felt it fit the character well enough.

Gollum actually annoyed me in the first movies, but here he is perfect.  It's been a long time and maybe I'm just remembering it wrong, but I was kind of disappointed with the trolls because I thought that scene was supposed to be Bilbo, alone, outwitting them and stalling for sunrise.  Here, EVERYONE is involved, even Gandalf with a well timed rock cracking.

I thought the meeting of the Middle Earth Avengers was surprisingly well done, mainly for the mental interplay between Galadriel and Gandalf.  If Cate Blanchett ever gave me one of those half smiles, I would be one of the happiest men alive.  Okay, maybe I just have a long-standing crush on Cate Blanchett.

Radagast was okay, but he reaaaaly straddled that line between amusing and Jar Jar.  The birdshit, while thematically appropriate for the character, made me think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62UzLgdb1GQ the whole time.  Also, dumb rabbit sled is dumb.

[shiznitz]

I don't go to the movies much any more, but when I learned that another Dad was taking one of my boy's friends, I invited myself along.  It is a great movie.  I knew watching it that it was long, but I never felt that it dragged.  My 10 year old son loved it.  The only Hobbit knowledge he has is from watching the animated movie on VHS. 

Bottom line, if people expect more than this when they go to the movies, I don't understand why anyone would go to the movies.  Top notch experience (IMAX 3D for me).

[Merusk]

Gollum actually annoyed me in the first movies, but here he is perfect.  It's been a long time and maybe I'm just remembering it wrong, but I was kind of disappointed with the trolls because I thought that scene was supposed to be Bilbo, alone, outwitting them and stalling for sunrise.  Here, EVERYONE is involved, even Gandalf with a well timed rock cracking.

This whole scene bothered me because it seemed entirely off so I looked it up last night.  What happens is Bilbo is captured trying to pick a pocket and the dwarves wander-in one at a time looking for him and are sacked as they arrive by the trolls.  Bilbo has been forgotten and hides, then stalls for time by starting up another fight, imitating the trolls.  Gandalf does arrive and spits out the same line, "Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!" and they turn to stone.

So while the spirit is there, the events are very different in the movie.

http://100bestebooks.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/j-r-r-tolkien-the-hobbit1.pdf   The chapter is "Roast Mutton."

[Ironwood]

Er, No.

It's Gandalf that's throwing his voice.

[HaemishM]

I thought I remembered something about the stone giants from the book. But I KNEW the goddamn things weren't tossing out boulders and looking like Rock-Em-Sock-Em Robots. My wife, who is a hug Tolkien nerd, said to me when this happened "If this is a sign of things to come, it's NOT GOOD." Luckily, nothing else was that stupid. It felt like a scene thrown in there just to enhance the 3D and CGI and it was fucking terrible. It was one thing from the books he'd have been better off just not including.

[Ghambit]

And I'm still trying to figure out why someone would rather have Dragonlance when, you know, they kinda did Dragonlance and it was an utter abortion.

You answered your own question.  Was done, was an abortion, so I'd like it re-done with the same attn. PJ gave.   Tbh I flat out liked the DLance novels more than LotR (as a kid mind you), and I appreciated the character development in DL moreso even (heroes are heroic).  And this Hobbit movie is really more of a Dlance/D&D-type movie.   It's more whimsical, more adventurous, and so forth.

Not sayin' anything was good or bad.  Just that I really thought this movie and its style would've been served better from that IP, especially given PJ intends to stretch this out to 3 three-hour movies.  The first 6 dlance novels would've filled that time well and definitely better than The Hobbit will.  Granted, we all know IP-recognition is at work here and the Hobbit pulls more internal levers with people than a relatively obscure D&D offshoot, but taken on their own (assuming no one knew of Tolkien or Weis) I do think people may have liked a proper DLance movie more than the Tolkien Faire if you took the same director with the same budget and set him loose.

What's the concensus on the 1st-2nd best fantasy werks in here anyways?  And dont say Martin.  And dont say Wheel of Time.  

[croaker69]

The Black Company 

[Shannow]

And I'm still trying to figure out why someone would rather have Dragonlance when, you know, they kinda did Dragonlance and it was an utter abortion.

You answered your own question.  Was done, was an abortion, so I'd like it re-done with the same attn. PJ gave.   Tbh I flat out liked the DLance novels more than LotR (as a kid mind you), and I appreciated the character development in DL moreso even (heroes are heroic).  And this Hobbit movie is really more of a Dlance/D&D-type movie.   It's more whimsical, more adventurous, and so forth.

Not sayin' anything was good or bad.  Just that I really thought this movie and its style would've been served better from that IP, especially given PJ intends to stretch this out to 3 three-hour movies.  The first 6 dlance novels would've filled that time well and definitely better than The Hobbit will.  Granted, we all know IP-recognition is at work here and the Hobbit pulls more internal levers with people than a relatively obscure D&D offshoot, but taken on their own (assuming no one knew of Tolkien or Weis) I do think people may have liked a proper DLance movie more than the Tolkien Faire if you took the same director with the same budget and set him loose.

What's the concensus on the 1st-2nd best fantasy werks in here anyways?  And dont say Martin.  And dont say Wheel of Time.  

While I know it'll never happen this closet Dragonlance fan would pay 100 bucks to see PJ do the DL chronicles.

[Ironwood]

I think you should re-read Dragonlance with your adult head on.

It's fairly shite.

[Pennilenko]

I think you should re-read Dragonlance with your adult head on.

It's fairly shite.

You shut your mouth, you dirty nostalgia destroyer.

[Ingmar]

I think you should re-read Dragonlance with your adult head on.

It's fairly shite.

Yes, this. Only I'd replace fairly with utterly.

[Trippy]

What's the concensus on the 1st-2nd best fantasy werks in here anyways?  And dont say Martin.  And dont say Wheel of Time.  

Harry Potter?

I haven't any read "epic" fantasy series other than Potter since the 80s so I'm totally out-of-date with what all the cool kids are reading now (yes nerds are cool now) but I think the consensus would probably be Martin. For me personally the only series that I've read that I would consider close to LoTR would be The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (minus the Last Chronicles which I haven't read) but that series isn't for everybody.

[Ironwood]

Because of all the rape.

Also, the latest Chronicles is awful.  As in, "I'm paying the mortgage and I clearly don't care about you cunts' awful.

AWFUL.

[Ironwood]

Also, I'd love a Covenant movie done right, but it'd have to do all 6 first books to work and, more importantly, it'd be really, really, really fucking dark.

Because of the Rape and the fact that Donaldson hates women.

Also, how about Mordants Need ?  That'd be great.

[Reg]

Mordants Need would be awesome as a movie. It's got everything! Knights in shining armor, sword fights, monsters coming out of mirrors, romance. Perfect!

And it wouldn't be damaged if the director chopped out the rapey bits as they aren't central to the story like Covenant.

[Merusk]

I think you should re-read Dragonlance with your adult head on.

It's fairly shite.

Yes, this. Only I'd replace fairly with utterly.

Didn't read DL until I was 23 and agree with this sentiment.

[Ironwood]

Oh, be fair, there's not any rape.  Except for Geridans brother and some touchy boobs of Terisa.

Also, big fucking battle with MONSTERS.  AND ZOMBIES WITH ANTS IN THEM.

[shiznitz]

The Black Company 

HBO please, not a motion picture.

[Samwise]

The Black Company 

HBO please, not a motion picture.

I feel this way about any "epic" novel adaptation at this point.  I actually wish the LotR films hadn't been made because I'd love to see that story taken on as a cable series and given some room to breathe.  Maybe in another decade or two.

[01101010]

AND ZOMBIES WITH ANTS IN THEM.

Well now that is just horrible to even imagine. 

[naum]

Saw it today; it's too long by at least 45 minutes.  While I liked the addition of some of the back story, like how Thorin earned his name, it feels stretched-out and padded in too many places.  "Epic" doesn't necessarily mean "ponderous and Long-winded" but to Jackson it certainly does.   Not quite  happy about the addition of the Orc-with-a-cause as too many other pieces of the story are being changed around to fit that, too.

It's not so much "The Hobbit" as it is, "Peter Jackon's; Prequel to The Lord of the Rings."   It's not terrible but I'll wait until the next two are on DVD/ Netflix before bothering again.

It's good, but these were exactly my thoughts -- too long, too much drawn out (I guess to make 3 movies out 1 book). Seems like a single sentence was blown up into 5-10 minutes of movie time in places. I figured there would be cartoonish insertions so I was prepared for those bits (like the the robot mountain deal) as well as the tailored jokes for a 2012 audience.

[Ingmar]

AND ZOMBIES WITH ANTS IN THEM.

Well now that is just horrible to even imagine. 

shut up I know they're worms

[Fordel]

The best part about Dragonlance are the Draconians and their bridge building.

[Zetor]

The best part about Dragonlance are the Draconianstinker gnomes and their bridge buildinginventions.

Fixed. 

But yeah, Dragonlance is pretty much terrible. Just reading through the (1st ed) sourcebook screams "Baby's First Campaign Setting". That said, we played the heck out of it in the school RPG club (12-14) because holy crap dude, you can make an irda mage with 20 int and a minotaur warrior with 20 str/con?! SOLD!