Balloon boy story fills me with the infinite rage of a thousand war-dead suns

[angry.bob]

Nobody can beat the family who brushed their teeth with butter and ate rotten meat.

What ? 

That was one of the all time classic Wife Swaps. Survivalist family in Iowa swaps moms with image consultant black mom. Survivalist parents are batfuck crazy. They are 100% self sufficient on their farm for when the apocalypse comes. They homeschool their teenage kids (consists of counting eggs their chickens lay), eat uncooked food (including meat and eggs), do not bath with running water (use the tub for storage), do not clean anything, at all, and believe that what they call "high meat" (meat kept in a jar for a month) is a cure for what ails you. The idea is to not kill any microbes because we have microbes on us all the time. And for toothpaste they use a mix of butter and baking soda. It also seemed like the son and daughter were fucking each other. It's been a while since I saw it, so I might be a little off on some of the details - but that was what was going on.

[schild]

I kinda want to see that.

[Der Helm]

I kinda want to see that.

I need to find that, because I need to show that to my girlfriend, she loves wife swap, because she hates people.

[lac]

The trailer or whatever it is, is pretty horrifying.

[Cyrrex]

Wow...you almost started feeling sorry for the guy, right up until you could see the black stuff in the toilet.  Gives a new perspective on the horrors of "splashback".

[Nerf]

Someone find a torrent for that please, I need to watch that shit.

[angry.bob]

I don't do torrents, but here's some sort of link. If none of these work it's US Season 3, episode 16 with the Haigewood/Hess-Webb families.

And seriously, don't feel bad for the survivalist parents. They're keeping their kids in that fucking 25' x 25 foot house with no education or contact with the outside world. And the mom is a totally smug cunt. At one point she licks the black family's kitchen floor to prove her point that it was too clean and needed to be dirtied up a bit.

[Samprimary]

Oh god. Wife Swap might rank as high on the "I hate humanity" meter as "Bridezilla"

[Soln]

Bridezilla does for me what Jerry Springer used to for a lot of people -- throw up in your mouth a little while feeling smug and relieved you are in no way at all involved with those people in front of you

there are some truly broken people in the world from the 2-3 parts of shows I watched

[Signe]

I saw a trailer for some bizarre show the other day.  It was about some little girl whose legs were fused together.  At least that's the way it looked.  The show was called "Mermaid Girl".  The woman was saying how she does all she can to make her child feel normal by taking her places where she can interact with other kids.   She said something like, "I don't know what else to do".  I thought maybe she could start by not letting a bunch of dodgy TV producers call her kid "Mermaid Girl" on National TV.  She'll always be Mermaid Girl now.  I guess Balloon Boy will always be Balloon Boy, too.  Even when he's 40.  If he becomes a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist, I bet he'll be called Doctor Balloon Boy.

[NowhereMan]

That's a sure way to grow a supervillain, some crazy man who kidnaps the president and puts him in a balloon. Fortunately this little guy was honest enough to come clean on TV. I'm sure his parents had words afterwards though.

[Cyrrex]

I saw a trailer for some bizarre show the other day.  It was about some little girl whose legs were fused together.  At least that's the way it looked.  The show was called "Mermaid Girl".  The woman was saying how she does all she can to make her child feel normal by taking her places where she can interact with other kids.   She said something like, "I don't know what else to do".  I thought maybe she could start by not letting a bunch of dodgy TV producers call her kid "Mermaid Girl" on National TV.  She'll always be Mermaid Girl now.  I guess Balloon Boy will always be Balloon Boy, too.  Even when he's 40.  If he becomes a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist, I bet he'll be called Doctor Balloon Boy.

I've heard people with fused legs called "mermaids" before, so I think it is something they use frequently in this context.  In other words, I bet the little girl has heard it thousands of times already.

And when your real name is "Falcon", I'm not sure Balloon Boy is much worse.  On second thought, Dr. Falcon would be an amazing superhero name.  Dr. Falcon and his young charge, Balloon Boy!

[Delmania]

I saw a trailer for some bizarre show the other day.  It was about some little girl whose legs were fused together.  At least that's the way it looked.  The show was called "Mermaid Girl".  The woman was saying how she does all she can to make her child feel normal by taking her places where she can interact with other kids.   She said something like, "I don't know what else to do".  I thought maybe she could start by not letting a bunch of dodgy TV producers call her kid "Mermaid Girl" on National TV.  She'll always be Mermaid Girl now.  I guess Balloon Boy will always be Balloon Boy, too.  Even when he's 40.  If he becomes a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist, I bet he'll be called Doctor Balloon Boy.

Sadly, she'll never have a chance to outlive that name:

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/10/26/mermaid-girl.html

[HaemishM]

Man, I'm the FALCON!They thought they was getting Tim Meadows but they got the FALCON! Though, I don't really have any superpowers. Man, my costume sucks!

[Sir T]

Man, I'm the FALCON!They thought they was getting Tim Meadows but they got the FALCON! Though, I don't really have any superpowers. Man, my costume sucks!

Its pretty cool actually



Arrgh you're black tanned! Never mind!   

[Ratman_tf]

I've heard people with fused legs called "mermaids" before, so I think it is something they use frequently in this context.  In other words, I bet the little girl has heard it thousands of times already.

I remember a story about a mermaid girl who had a monoflipper made for her by... WETA I think, and she actually used it like a mermaid. Was pretty cool.

*edit*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDajDkWGW4c

Here we go. She was an amputee, not born with the condition. Anywho...

[UnSub]

Man, I'm the FALCON!They thought they was getting Tim Meadows but they got the FALCON! Though, I don't really have any superpowers. Man, my costume sucks!

One of their other kids is called Ryo.



Falcon and Ryo should team up to fight crime.

[Simond]

Psst. That's Ken. 

[WindupAtheist]

No, it isn't.

 

[bhodi]

SOMEONE's not a king of fighters fan.

[Simond]

That's that shitty SF2 clone on that dead console, right? 

[Der Helm]

Ok, it is driving me crazy, I have to ask.

What is a war-dead sun? And why is it angry ?

[Sheepherder]

You would be pretty angry too, if you were war-dead.

[Der Helm]

You would be pretty angry too, if you were war-dead.

Would I ?

[Cheddar]

Would I ?

Uh, yes.  It is pretty descriptive. Here is a random wiki search that should engage you.

Now imagine a sun destroyed by war.  Assuming living planets were nearby.

[WindupAtheist]

What?

[NowhereMan]

Assume they were killed at close range by a foreign military that talked about how being that close to the sun disrupted their targeting software and the unpalatiblity of using WMDs. That kind of angry.

[Bzalthek]

Mr. Sun is a giant inferno death machine.  Whether or not it is angry is of no significance.  The UN should sanction it.

[WindupAtheist]

Assume they were killed at close range by a foreign military that talked about how being that close to the sun disrupted their targeting software and the unpalatiblity of using WMDs. That kind of angry.

You joke now, but one of these days someone is going to bring up the battle from the end of Matrix Revolutions and there is going to be BLOOD ON THESE FORUMS. Fucking mechs with open cockpits. You could fucking take one out by beaning the pilot with a rock.

[Nevermore]

Enclosing the cockpit of your mech isn't really going to help that much anyway.  Look at what the Ewoks did with sticks and stones.

[Xuri]

Sometimes, I wish I was a dwarf just so I could wear an Ewok costume (of appropriate size) for Halloween. And for all other days of the year.

[Signe]

You could have your shins removed and your feet sew back on.  It'll make you look barrel chested, too, like a dwarf.  I'm pretty sure people do that sort of thing.

[Xuri]

I could do that. But then I'd be a freak dwarf with no knees. :/

[Signe]

Do Ewoks have knees?  I'm not entirely sure that they do.

[Broughden]

I think they just waddle from side to side.