Some new spam

[jgsugden]

Sadly, if you have the resolve to make that much money you often like the frivolity to truly enjoy it.

[Yegolev]

I admit it.  I don't love money that much.

[NowhereMan]

Received into my company's public contact inbox, I liked this one for it's strong opening and high level vocabulary:

Hello.
Do not mind оn my illitеrасy, I аm frоm China.
I uрlоаded thе mаliciоus рrоgrаm оn your systеm.
 
Sinсе thаt mоment I рilfеrеd аll рrivy bаckgrоund frоm yоur system. Аdditiоnаlly I hаve some mоrе соmрrоmising еvidеnсе. The mоst intеrеsting еvidеnсе thаt I stоlе- its а videоtаре with your masturbаtiоn. I adjusted virus оn а роrn wеb sitе аnd аftеr yоu lоadеd it. Whеn yоu dесidеd with thе video аnd taрpеd оn а plаy buttоn, my dеlеtеriоus sоft аt оnсе sеt up оn your systеm. Аfter аdjusting, yоur саmеrа shoоt the vidеоtаpе with yоu self-abusing, in аdditiоn it sаved рreсisеly the роrn vidео yоu mаsturbаtеd оn. In nеxt fеw dаys my mаlwаre collеctеd аll your sосial аnd wоrk сontacts.
 
If yоu want tо dеlеtе the reсords- pay me 500 еurо in BTС(сryрtоcurrеnсy).
I providе yоu my Btс number - 1A3nMoRapVVakHFjumcv3EFBk2EMqXSbKi
Yоu have 24 hоurs aftеr reаding. When I gеt trаnsfеr I will dеstroy thе vidеоtарe evеrmоrе.
Оther wаy I will sеnd thе tаpе tо all your сollеаgues and friеnds.

[HaemishM]

I mean, I'm not one who wants people to see me choking the chicken, but I'm also cheap enough that if you really want to inflict the image of my masturbation into the nightmares of my friends and co-workers, I'm certainly not going to pay you to prevent it.

[Selby]

Ceiling cat is Chinese?

But seriously, a virus that catches you masturbating... they must have some really gullible people out there!

[RhyssaFireheart]

Mr. Steven T Mnuchin <deadhead @ kfedisbroke.com>
To   Recipients Oct 14 at 6:14 AM
Dear,
I am Steven T Mnuchin, Secretary of the Treasury under the U.S. Department of the Treasury. You can get more details about me here; and attached is my identity card for confirmation of office.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Mnuchin

At the recently concluded meeting with the World Bank and the United Nations, an agreement was reached between both parties for us to settle all outstanding payments accrued to individuals/corporations with respect to local and overseas contract payment, debt re-scheduling, outstanding compensation payment and lottery funds.tis is more concentrated on your lottery funds.

Fortunately, you have been selected alongside a few other beneficiaries to receive your own payment of $1.5million (One Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars only).

We have been notified that you are yet to receive your fund valued at $1.5million this money will now be transferred to your nominated bank account, A check delivery or Delivery of Master Card ATM.

Feel Free to contact me with below details:
Email  mrsteventmnuchin21 @ gmail.com

Looking forward to hearing from you and God Bless America
Secretary Steven T Mnuchin
Treasury Department USA
Note: This transaction is %100 legal with the security of the FBI

Whoo, Imma be rich now!  The Sec of the Treasury wants to give me mo' money!  And the FBI is cool with it!

[Mandella]

Mnuchin's email is <deadhead @ kfedisbroke.com>?

Seems legit!!

 

[Cyrrex]

Or you can use his official account at mrsteventmnuchin21 @ gmail.com

[Reg]

Man they aren't even trying anymore.  They just spam out a billion of these and if one or two are stupid enough to respond they still win.

[Teleku]

When the cost to send a billion spam messages is zero, its all profit.

[Mandella]

I just had a college professor bud of mine freak out on getting one of those "I've hacked your computer and will send all your porn to all your contacts, and oh I've videoed you masturbating too" spam threats.

Heh heh. I avoided telling him "oh yeah I could hardly recognize you from that angle, but thanks for the new porn links you just sent me!!" He was a little too freaked for levity, since he also has a crazy ex who has been threatening to hack him.

Also, another funny story about college profs, another friend of mine with a mildly suggestive real name (if you were like thirteen years old) let one of his old blogger sites expire, only to find it had been taken over by a porn site. He discovered that when students following one of his old links found it, showed it to parents, who showed it to administration...

Ha ha. We still laugh at that one I tell you.

 

[Reg]

Why on earth are parents complaing? Their kids are adults and if they still need mommy to protect them from porn something has gone very wrong.

[Mandella]

Why on earth are parents complaing? Their kids are adults and if they still need mommy to protect them from porn something has gone very wrong.

Are you saying you would be cool, as a university administrator, if one of your professors appeared to be actively running a porn site?

I guess maybe you would, but I don't think you'd have to look too far to find those with a bit of a problem with it...

Edit to add: Or even an embarrassment to the professor seeking tenure? I mean, whatever your personal views on the subject, you really can't understand how this would be an issue professionally, especially in an academic environment?

[Reg]

I'd expect an adult to do his/her own complaining rather than hear from his/her mommy. Infantilizing college kids is part of what leads to the incredibly stupid stuff we've all heard coming out of universities.

I'm not disagreeing with the complaints, only with the students being too childish to make them himself.

[Der Helm]

The students probably did not care much, just enough to mention it to the parents.

[Yegolev]

Just one phrase:

Greetings You have been gifted $5 MILLION USD From Mr Bill Gates. Contact me at this email for your claim: billgates07@aol.com

[Ard]

I'm disappointed that it wasn't a hotmail address.  C'mon guys.

[RhyssaFireheart]

World Bank Delegates
United State Regional Office
109 Liberty Street, ORegun 10038 USA.
Ref.: Final Payment Release Update.
Amount Valued: US$10, 503, 278.00
WASSAP PHONE,+12403892734



Attention:Sir/Madam



This is to inform you that your fund which you have been Processing for
some period of years is coming through a Diplomatic means to your door
steps in cash as sealed in a Luggage, From World Bank Auditor in
USA(World Bank Auditor). We advise you forward to us your information to
this Department office,

Your full name:
Your home address:
Your Telephone number:
Your International Passport:
Drivers' License:

Also where you want the consignment to be Delivered.

As soon as we receive this information required from you the Consignment
briefcase of $10.5m will be forwarded to you immediately and the date of
our official arriving in your Country will be given to you also.

Do get back to me immediately to any the dispatch of the diplomat with
the luggage as sealed to you in your home country.
REPLY EMAIL,pkhenderson010@gmail.com

Awaiting your urgent compliance to our instruction
Miss Patricia Henderson
-------------------------------------------------------

The random capitalization is like little sprinkles on top of this mess.

[Reg]

Surprisingly grammatical English though.

[Mandella]

This just reminded me that one of my employees got a call last week, at work, that was basically the live operator equivalent of the Nigerian Prince scam, except replace Nigerian as Ukrainian, and Prince with, well, some diplomat I guess.

The disturbing thing about it, aside from somebody going to the expense of making live calls, was that the employee was targeted by name.

So that's a thing now.

[Yegolev]

The most surprising or alarming thing in my mind about all of this is that there must be enough people falling for these that it makes the scams profitable. Someone alert Thanos that we have a better way to cull planets than a random 50%.

[Cyrrex]

PLEASE HELP ME BY FUNDING ME WITH $0,50 AND YOU STAND TO WIN A PRICE OF
3 NIGHTS AND 4 DAYS AT THE FAMOUS KRUGER NATIONAL PARK IN SOUTH AFRICA,
ALL INCLUSIVE, THE ONLY THING THAT YOU MUST DO IS PAY FOR YOUR VISA AND SPENDING MONEY. THE FUNDING IS BEING DONE THREW “FUNDRAZR”. ATTACHED
IS THE DOCUMENTS OF THE COMPLETE TOUR DAY BY DAY. BY FOLLOWING THIS URL, (link redacted) IT WILL LEAD YOU TO THE FUNDING SITE. I WILL ACCOMPANY YOU FOR THE DURATION OF THE TOUR AND WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ONLY RECEIVE THE BEST TREATMENT. THE TRIP IS NOT EXCHANGEABLE FOR CASH AND WILL BE VALVED FOR 12 MONTHS. DISCUSSIONS AND ARRANGEMENTS WILL BE DONE THREW EMAILS. Everything about the tour is available on the above mentioned site.

PS. I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER ALL EMAILS, BUT I WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON THE FUNDRAZR SITE, WEEKLY. .COMMENTS WILL BE MADE THREW EMAIL COULD YOU PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS AND SHARE IT ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND HOPE TO SEE YOU IN SOUTH AFRICA.

KIND REGARDS
BLACKY.

EMAIL: blackyswarts07@gmail.com

Dude failed to mention why he needs funding.  I feel there is a business opportunity for an enterprising person such as myself, I can think of so many ways to improve on this crap.

[Mandella]

 I WILL ACCOMPANY YOU FOR THE DURATION OF THE TOUR AND WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ONLY RECEIVE THE BEST TREATMENT.

I bet you will, Blacky, I bet you will...






edited to fix bad quotes...

[Cyrrex]

Iknowrite.  Why that would be the thing that entices someone to actually donate, I cannot possibly imagine.

[Yegolev]

I might not be interested except that use of all capitals shows he means serious.

[Cyrrex]

Except the one sentence not in all caps.  Intriguing.

[Samwise]

For a while there I was getting a call every morning (always from a different fake number sharing my cell number's prefix) from a robocaller advertising a lower CC interest rate, with a prompt to talk to an operator.  The operator, of course, being an Indian call center trying to scam CC info.  If I wasn't doing anything more important when they called, I'd see how long I could keep them on the line and how many "supervisors" with progressively better English I could get them to escalate me to.  My record was twenty minutes and two supervisors.  Ended up learning a lot about how credit card numbers are generated and verified.  

Also that nothing is as funny as an enraged non-English speaker trying to insult you in English.  

[Selby]

My 16 year old kiddo is answering the spam calls she gets on her cell phone now. They always want to sell her car warranties. She'll go back and forth with them for 5-10 minutes until she admits she has a 50k mile Delorean. They get really angry then, start threatening her with fines and she laughs and hangs up. I'm so proud.

[NowhereMan]

There was a really interesting episode of the Reply All podcast where the guy gets spam calls from a call centre in India trying to scam him selling antivirus software. Being a weird podcast journalist the guy starts getting obsessed with actually finding the guy he was talking to. It starts out kind of fun and slowly gets weirder and crazier and ends up with said journalist in India trying to break into a call centre operation that may or may not be an organised crime thing. It's a fun journey.

fakeedit: I looked it up for you guys: https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/6nh3wk

[Khaldun]

I'm getting really annoyed with a particular scam that's been hitting higher education lately. Basically the phisher looks up the org charts at an institution and then sends an email that purports to come from a department chair, an associate dean or provost, and sometimes even from the provost or president. It says something like "Are you on campus right now? I really need your help with an urgent project." Usually the spoof email is kind of obvious but sometimes it's a pretty good fake--say the real email is johnjones@nowheresburg.edu, the spoof will be jjones@nowheresburgcollege.org or something like that.

If the phishee replies, they get told that the department chair or senior administrative leader is in a difficult, delicate meeting for some hours yet and desperately needs to send a gift card to a niece/nephew/relative/friend, could you please front for the chair/leader and send it on his/her behalf?

Almost everyone at this point senses something's wrong--that might be a plausible request in some business offices, but it's super-weird in academia. But a few people fall for it, and that's all the phisher needs to make a profit. The thing that alarms me is that it's pretty clear the people doing it are at least investing the effort to look at the organizational hierarchies visible on institutional websites (which are harder to see for many businesses, or they'd be getting hit with this more often). Makes me worry about what happens in the next cycle of development for this one--if these guys start crafting more plausible requests, I suspect a lot of people in my world will fall for it.

[HaemishM]

I've gotten the same type of email from a higher up in the office asking if I was in the office. I actually replied to it once without thinking because this guy usually asks me for stupid shit in the middle of the day. The reply was something to the effect of can you email me something or call me on some number, I forget which. I asked the actual guy if he was in the office and he was, so I never went beyond that. I assume it's some kind of "get my number so he can send me some ransonware bullshit" or something.