"Fake-Out" Commercials rot your brain

[Draegan]

Since I can not each cheese anymore due to it fucking up my digestive system someone has brought it to my attention that there is "soy cheese pizza" available.  I think it's an abomination and a disgrace to pizza everywhere, but since I'm doomed to a cheeseless existence has anyone eaten anything like this before?

And is it adequate?

[Yegolev]

I gave my son some soy milk once and he puked it up.

[LK]

Veggie Cheese is pretty good.

[MahrinSkel]

Not to sound bias or anything, but Thai food is fairly conventional compared to other Asian stuff, I think. Besides the peppers. They do eat fishheads and stuff, but it's not a common thing. Most of what you see in a Thai restaurant is daily diet. Stir fry type dishes, crab, fish, egg rolls, tons of rice, desserts with coconut milk.. No jellyfish or eels, or whatever.

Just do *not* start discussing the manufacturing method for Thai fish sauce when somebody is about to start eating it, or just has.

--Dave

[Lantyssa]

Since I can not each cheese anymore due to it fucking up my digestive system someone has brought it to my attention that there is "soy cheese pizza" available.  I think it's an abomination and a disgrace to pizza everywhere, but since I'm doomed to a cheeseless existence has anyone eaten anything like this before?

And is it adequate?

Kroger's sometimes carries glutten-free pizza crusts.  I use one of them, ~1/6 can of tomatoe paste, and Veggie Shreds, with browned ground beef and it makes a delicious pizza-like substance.  I'm quite happy with the taste.  It's not quite the same as a 'real' pizza, however I cannot say if it's the cheese, the crust, or the combination.

Note I say this as someone with a dislike for cheese since I was little.  Besides having weird taste buds, I instinctually knew it didn't agree with me even if it took until I was older to understand why I avoided it.  The only things with cheese I liked were pizza, cheese toast, and the occasional grilled cheese sandwich.

[stray]

Cheese is pretty damn great stuff. But nasty if you think about it.

[schild]

Not to sound bias or anything, but Thai food is fairly conventional compared to other Asian stuff, I think. Besides the peppers. They do eat fishheads and stuff, but it's not a common thing. Most of what you see in a Thai restaurant is daily diet. Stir fry type dishes, crab, fish, egg rolls, tons of rice, desserts with coconut milk.. No jellyfish or eels, or whatever.

Just do *not* start discussing the manufacturing method for Thai fish sauce when somebody is about to start eating it, or just has.

--Dave

I love fish sauce, but yes, the process is, god. Just bad.

[Sky]

Cheese is pretty damn great stuff. But nasty if you think about it.

Yes. No.

[stray]

Well, I mean anything with that amount of bacteria and mold and has to be "matured" is nasty if you think about it. Luckily, I don't think about it really.

All that said, my favorite cheeses are the conventional ones. Cheddar is king. Just like a fucking Snickers bar is better than $50 chocolates.

[Yegolev]

You seem like a Kraft Singles kinda guy.

[stray]

As long it's Cheddar or Swiss. American Cheese is bland.. about the only situation it's preferable for are grilled cheese sandwiches. I can't think of another occassion where I'd use that over the other two.

[LK]

Kroger's sometimes carries glutten-free pizza crusts.  I use one of them, ~1/6 can of tomatoe paste, and Veggie Shreds, with browned ground beef and it makes a delicious pizza-like substance.  I'm quite happy with the taste.  It's not quite the same as a 'real' pizza, however I cannot say if it's the cheese, the crust, or the combination.

Note I say this as someone with a dislike for cheese since I was little.  Besides having weird taste buds, I instinctually knew it didn't agree with me even if it took until I was older to understand why I avoided it.  The only things with cheese I liked were pizza, cheese toast, and the occasional grilled cheese sandwich.

Curious. Do you like bamboo? 

[Yegolev]

As long it's Cheddar or Swiss. American Cheese is bland.. about the only situation it's preferable for are grilled cheese sandwiches. I can't think of another occassion where I'd use that over the other two.

On top of a saltine?  Wrapped around a Vienna Sausage?

[stray]

That's still a job for Cheddar. 

[NowhereMan]

Veggie Cheese is pretty good.

Veggie cheese is normal cheese, the only different is the rennet used in the manufacturing process is artificially created rather than cropped from the stomachs of freshly slaughtered calves. When I see veggie cheese that costs more than non-veggie I really do sigh as I think of the tasty little calves and their double sacrifice for good food.

[Lantyssa]

Curious. Do you like bamboo? 

Yes.

Seriously.  The Thai place I love uses it as one of the ingredients in my favorite dish.  It's delicious.

[stray]

I like catching fish with bamboo poles. Don't know about eating them though (the poles I mean.. the fish are fine).

[apocrypha]

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

[HaemishM]

Curious. Do you like bamboo? 

Yes.

Seriously.  The Thai place I love uses it as one of the ingredients in my favorite dish.  It's delicious.

I've had bamboo shoots in some Vietnamese food I ate as well. They are tasty!

[Yegolev]

My easy stir fry mainly consists of water chestnuts, bamboo sprouts, baby corn and one or two other things.  Sometimes that is broccoli, or soybeans, or whatever.  Fry the fuck out of it and put on the soy!

[Azazel]

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

Well, when you think about it, people used to eat whateverthefuck didn't kill them. Offal, heads, bones, insects.. nothing wasted. Many parts of the world still follow the old ways. Especially in Europe and Asia.

[Hawkbit]

Bamboo is good, but my only issue with it is that it sometimes reminds me of the elephant house at the zoo.  Not joking. 

[Mrbloodworth]

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

LMAO.

[Merusk]

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

LMAO.

I haven't stopped looking at my food and wondering about its origins since Apocrypha brought it up.  Cheese is a great one.. rennet is cow's digestive juice.. who the fuck thought "hey let's add this to the milk and see what happens!"  Raw meats, cooking and vegetables I can understand to a point but foods that go through a process to be created make me wonder.   

And who was the first guy to figure out how to eat blowfish.  Did he kill thousands going, "Woops, that's not it" every time?

[Mrbloodworth]

Just going back to the cheese thing... what about yogurt? I mean who first thought to themselves "Hmmmm I wonder what that bowl of milk that's gone rancid tastes like?". Or blue cheese.... someone had a lump of cheese that had gone really mouldy and thought ahh fuck it I'm really hungry?

These people are gastronomic pioneers who should be recognised in poem!

LMAO.

I haven't stopped looking at my food and wondering about its origins since Apocrypha brought it up.  Cheese is a great one.. rennet is cow's digestive juice.. who the fuck thought "hey let's add this to the milk and see what happens!"  Raw meats, cooking and vegetables I can understand to a point but foods that go through a process to be created make me wonder.   

And who was the first guy to figure out how to eat blowfish.  Did he kill thousands going, "Woops, that's not it" every time?

Cheese was most likely due to the fact that stomachs were natural bags.

[Murgos]

Cheese was most likely due to the fact that stomachs were natural bags.

"Hey, you know that chewy crap that comes out of a fresh stomach when you store your milk in it?  That shit is pretty tasty, you know?"

[NowhereMan]

For historical accuracy you should probably say that in a French accent.

[Sky]

For historical accuracy you should probably say that in a French accent.

If your sense of history doesn't span much time.

[Cyrrex]

I actually watched a show on the Food Network the other day on the history of cheese, and it goes back many thousands of years, if I recall.  That's all I had to add.

[UnSub]

Cheese was most likely due to the fact that stomachs were natural bags.

"Hey, you know that chewy crap that comes out of a fresh stomach when you store your milk in it?  That shit is pretty tasty, you know?"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you - I'm too busy waiting for this fruit juice to rot so that I can get buzzed!"

[NowhereMan]

For historical accuracy you should probably say that in a French accent.

If your sense of history doesn't span much time.

Encroyable! You suggest that ze French 'ave not invented le fromage?!
(I was thinking historical accuracy along the lines of Monty Python's the Holy Grail...)

Also there are Orang-outangs that also leave fruit to rot in rock depressions and drink the fermented juices to get drunk.

[Paelos]

Considering cheese-making (along with many other foods) actually predates recorded language, we'll never know how it came to be used. Like any great food discovery, I have to assume it was either out of great necessity (see: eating a raw oyster), or in this case just a happy accident.

[Merusk]

Considering cheese-making (along with many other foods) actually predates recorded language, we'll never know how it came to be used. Like any great food discovery, I have to assume it was either out of great necessity (see: eating a raw oyster), or in this case just a happy accident.

Oysters, however, (and clams) you can put down to mimicry of otters.  See what the animals eat without dying and know you can probably do the same.  Like I said previously, food that goes through a process to be created makes you wonder, "What exactly possessed the first guy..."   Candy, syrup, cheese, chocolate, etc.

[Paelos]

Oysters, however, (and clams) you can put down to mimicry of otters.  See what the animals eat without dying and know you can probably do the same.

Right, but it still had to be a dude who was dying or stupid. I mean, nobody looks at a raw oyster for the first time and thinks, mmmm. They think it looks like a giant booger.

[Lantyssa]

If the sea monkey hypothesis pans out then it'd be natural for our ancestors to have been eating oysters before they had the cognative skills for someone to ponder if they really wanted to eat that.