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Author Topic: "Fake-Out" Commercials rot your brain  (Read 59213 times)
Yegolev
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Reply #105 on: February 05, 2009, 05:41:12 AM

I'm not living in a highly-industrialized nation so I have to make my own pizza.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Cyrrex
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Reply #106 on: February 05, 2009, 05:49:01 AM

I'm not living in a highly-industrialized nation so I have to make my own pizza.

Don't you live in...Ohio, or something?

Not that that would invalidated your statement.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Yegolev
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Reply #107 on: February 05, 2009, 05:54:56 AM

Atlanta to Atlanta-ish.  I suppose that was worded strangely.  What I meant is that if I wanted to make my own pizza, I could live in the tropics and sit on the beach all day.  Instead, I am a cog in Corporate America so I can have others do this for me.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Cyrrex
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Reply #108 on: February 05, 2009, 06:01:16 AM

Ah, I re-read your post seven times, and now it makes complete sense.

I've been to Atlanta once.  Maybe I met you.  Were you a Nigerian limo driver/limo company proprieter who tries to convert people to Christianity?  If so, I'd like to thank you for the excellent service.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Yegolev
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Reply #109 on: February 05, 2009, 06:02:06 AM

No, I'm a hairy russian limo driver that attempts to sell you vitamins.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Sky
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Reply #110 on: February 05, 2009, 07:08:38 AM

I wonder if anyone has made vacation plans to travel across the country and go Anthony Bourdain on America, trying different and local flavors of foods based on local reputation. That is, most popular thing in the area, go there, eat it, move on.

It'd give me a good excuse to go around the country.
Guy Fieri!

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schild
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Reply #111 on: February 05, 2009, 10:04:45 AM

Just got spam about this shit. Everything is a selling point these days.



3

FUCKING

POUNDS!

The breadsticks seem like overkill.
Sky
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Reply #112 on: February 05, 2009, 11:47:46 AM

I wonder what part of the Italian they use to season the meat sauce.  ACK!

Chicago pizzas can easily top 3lbs.
Lantyssa
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Reply #113 on: February 05, 2009, 01:09:29 PM

Falc's not coming over here to sell body parts to Pizza Hut is he?  ACK!

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Yegolev
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Reply #114 on: February 05, 2009, 01:20:55 PM

He's not in the Brazilian goat trade, as far as I know.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Valmorian
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Reply #115 on: February 05, 2009, 01:48:16 PM

LK
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Reply #116 on: February 05, 2009, 01:55:51 PM

Or one fat-ass.

Believe me, I tried.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Paelos
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Reply #117 on: February 05, 2009, 03:20:13 PM

Just in a side by side comparison a Stouffer's frozen lasagna has 130 less calories, 12g less fat, and 5g less saturated fat per serving than the Pizza Hut one. Were you to eat a whole one, just by eating Pizza hut the difference is more than 500 Calories and 48 grams of fat. Even a Quarter Pounder with cheese doesn't have that kind of calorie/fat ratio.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2009, 03:21:59 PM by Paelos »

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Nebu
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Reply #118 on: February 05, 2009, 04:05:48 PM

3

FUCKING

POUNDS!

The breadsticks seem like overkill.

Gee... I wonder why obesity and heart disease are such a problem in the US?  swamp poop

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Triforcer
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Reply #119 on: February 05, 2009, 04:49:04 PM

Oddly, the best pizza I've ever eaten in my entire life is in Japan, a chain called Salvatore Cuomo.  I'm not sure it exists in any county other than Japan and Italy, but damn- living a block from that place is slowly killing me.

Did you get one with fish eyes on it yet?

They have a Pescatore option, but that just has mussels, octopus, scallops and the like (and is my favorite type).  I'll have to see if there is anything with fish eyes- maybe its not on the gaijin-accessible part of the menu (and seriously, why do Japanese places only translate half the menu?  Everytime I go somewhere with a Japanese friend, they say "Oh, they didn't translate these options."). 

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Reply #120 on: February 05, 2009, 06:08:25 PM

I wonder what part of the Italian they use to season the meat sauce.  ACK!

Chicago pizzas can easily top 3lbs.
The Chicago pizza shown in the video I made on the previous page weighed in at 6 pounds including the pan and it was a pretty small pan.

Lantyssa
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Reply #121 on: February 06, 2009, 10:20:24 AM

They have a Pescatore option, but that just has mussels, octopus, scallops and the like (and is my favorite type).  I'll have to see if there is anything with fish eyes- maybe its not on the gaijin-accessible part of the menu (and seriously, why do Japanese places only translate half the menu?  Everytime I go somewhere with a Japanese friend, they say "Oh, they didn't translate these options."). 
It's their way of figuring out who the riff-raff are.

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Yegolev
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Reply #122 on: February 06, 2009, 10:23:16 AM

(and seriously, why do Japanese places only translate half the menu?  Everytime I go somewhere with a Japanese friend, they say "Oh, they didn't translate these options."). 

I'd file this in the same bin with the fact that white people don't get the real spice in some asian restaurants.  They are pretty sure you will just send it back.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
sinij
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Reply #123 on: February 07, 2009, 01:48:21 AM

And yet the stuff sells. Both myself and my wife like it, and she's a real Italian who cooks damn well.

Of course ad men don't think EVERYONE will buy it. They don't even have to convince you they are being genuine. They just want to get you to consider Pizza Hut pasta when you are hungry and want something delivered.

Here is real kicker, you don't even need to believe advertised message for you to start considering their product. As long as adds don't piss you off enough to consciously think about avoiding product they are successful.

Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.
Murgos
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Reply #124 on: February 07, 2009, 05:45:09 AM

Oddly, the best pizza I've ever eaten in my entire life is in Japan, a chain called Salvatore Cuomo.  I'm not sure it exists in any county other than Japan and Italy, but damn- living a block from that place is slowly killing me.

Did you get one with fish eyes on it yet?

They have a Pescatore option, but that just has mussels, octopus, scallops and the like (and is my favorite type).  I'll have to see if there is anything with fish eyes- maybe its not on the gaijin-accessible part of the menu (and seriously, why do Japanese places only translate half the menu?  Everytime I go somewhere with a Japanese friend, they say "Oh, they didn't translate these options."). 

When I lived in Okinawa there was a pizza place that was very popular and in the window they had wax display pizzas, one of which had enormous tuna eye-balls on it.  My brothers fiance, who is Chinese, swears that they are delicious.

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LK
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Reply #125 on: February 07, 2009, 03:45:29 PM

When I lived in Okinawa there was a pizza place that was very popular and in the window they had wax display pizzas, one of which had enormous tuna eye-balls on it.  My brothers fiance, who is Chinese, swears that they are delicious.

Today's Sage Advice: Do not read about the ingredients Asian people put in their food while you have an upset tummy.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
LK
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Reply #126 on: February 07, 2009, 07:57:36 PM

I'm watching Man vs. Food where the host is in Atlanta Georgia taking on the Carnivore Pizza, a 30" pie that weighs 11 pounds. Apparently you win $250 bucks if you can eat the pizza in under an hour.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Trippy
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Reply #127 on: February 08, 2009, 01:36:08 AM

When I lived in Okinawa there was a pizza place that was very popular and in the window they had wax display pizzas, one of which had enormous tuna eye-balls on it.  My brothers fiance, who is Chinese, swears that they are delicious.
Today's Sage Advice: Do not read about the ingredients Asian people put in their food while you have an upset tummy.
Yes fish eyes are considered delicacies in Chinese cuisine and in fact the entire fish head is given to the guest of honor at meals.
Paelos
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Reply #128 on: February 10, 2009, 09:00:57 AM

I'm watching Man vs. Food where the host is in Atlanta Georgia taking on the Carnivore Pizza, a 30" pie that weighs 11 pounds. Apparently you win $250 bucks if you can eat the pizza in under an hour.

It's called Big Pie in the Sky in Kennessaw, so they took some liberties on what "Atlanta" really is. It's actually it's own city 30 miles NW of town. However, the slices there are $3.75 for a one topping, and they are in fact bigger than your head. They cut them out of their 30" pizza. Nobody has actually completed that challenge yet, either. You'd have to find two people that can handle 5.5 pounds of food each in an hour, not to mention the grease factor of all meat on that thing.

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LK
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Reply #129 on: February 10, 2009, 09:42:58 AM

I'm watching Man vs. Food where the host is in Atlanta Georgia taking on the Carnivore Pizza, a 30" pie that weighs 11 pounds. Apparently you win $250 bucks if you can eat the pizza in under an hour.

It's called Big Pie in the Sky in Kennessaw, so they took some liberties on what "Atlanta" really is. It's actually it's own city 30 miles NW of town. However, the slices there are $3.75 for a one topping, and they are in fact bigger than your head. They cut them out of their 30" pizza. Nobody has actually completed that challenge yet, either. You'd have to find two people that can handle 5.5 pounds of food each in an hour, not to mention the grease factor of all meat on that thing.

Kobayashi could do it. We just need to clone him.

I was really impressed though, Adam, the host, almost did his. I'd just love to have one slice to be honest. 3.75 is a pretty damn good price though that's because it's Georgia and I've been living in California for 6 or so years.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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Reply #130 on: February 10, 2009, 01:37:30 PM

Note to self, never be guest of honor.

The (extremely good) Japanese restaurant down the street from me used to have a note on their supplementary menu saying "Items marked with the  Ohhhhh, I see. symbol are difficult for the Western palate" or something to that effect. And they actually used the straight-line-mouth smiley face to mark them. Sadly the menu doesn't have those markings anymore - at least until someone accidentally orders something with natto again.

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Lantyssa
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Reply #131 on: February 10, 2009, 01:45:29 PM

I had a friend who loved natto, but she was raised from a tiny kidlett on it.  Even she admits it's nasty.

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Yegolev
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Reply #132 on: February 10, 2009, 05:26:58 PM

Yes fish eyes are considered delicacies in Chinese cuisine and in fact the entire fish head is given to the guest of honor at meals.

Am I being racist to point out that Chinese will eat anything?  Fish heads, also jellyfish.  I tried the jellyfish and it's the definition of "acquired taste".

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
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Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
LK
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Reply #133 on: February 10, 2009, 05:40:16 PM

When your people are that poor, you learn to not be picky.

"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
Trippy
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Reply #134 on: February 10, 2009, 11:59:12 PM

Jellyfish is usually quite expensive (it's a long arduous process to make it edible). So is a fish head as you have to order a entire fish for that. Jellyfish also doesn't have much flavor -- it's all about the texture and whatever sauce or marinade it's been in. It's roughly akin to eating cooked octopus or squid with their "crunchy" texture except more slippery. Americans aren't into the varying textures of food like many other cultures are.
stray
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Reply #135 on: February 11, 2009, 12:18:40 AM

Fuck Jellyfish and fuck... Mushrooms. Both of them don't even belong on this planet.


Squid jerky is some good shit, however.

[edit]

When I lived in Okinawa there was a pizza place that was very popular and in the window they had wax display pizzas, one of which had enormous tuna eye-balls on it.  My brothers fiance, who is Chinese, swears that they are delicious.

Today's Sage Advice: Do not read about the ingredients Asian people put in their food while you have an upset tummy.

Not to sound bias or anything, but Thai food is fairly conventional compared to other Asian stuff, I think. Besides the peppers. They do eat fishheads and stuff, but it's not a common thing. Most of what you see in a Thai restaurant is daily diet. Stir fry type dishes, crab, fish, egg rolls, tons of rice, desserts with coconut milk.. No jellyfish or eels, or whatever.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2009, 12:23:34 AM by Stray »
NowhereMan
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Reply #136 on: February 11, 2009, 05:11:18 AM

Yeah the "weird" shit the Chinese go for tend to be only for special occasions, daily diet stuff is pretty conventional. The problem when visiting people is that they want to treat their Western guests to the best cuisine China has to offer, so instead of getting the everyday stuff you'd probably quite enjoy you get fishheads and duck feet.

 The Chinese also generally don't like caviar and think Westerners are weird for doing so.

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Sky
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Reply #137 on: February 11, 2009, 07:23:46 AM

Fuck Jellyfish and fuck... Mushrooms. Both of them don't even belong on this planet.
You haven't had my sauteed mushrooms. I've yet to meet a mushroom hater who hasn't added and exception for mine.
stray
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Reply #138 on: February 11, 2009, 11:27:34 AM

I'm actually warming up to mushrooms to be honest. I might just like yours. Still don't want too many of them around though, like in spaghetti or something. That's going to piss me off.

I used to not think twice.. But to this day, I've taken more psilocybin in one sitting than I've ever witnessed another person take.. and I think that's where the hatred extends from.
Yegolev
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Reply #139 on: February 11, 2009, 12:45:05 PM

Alright, I admit that culturally "my people" eat some weird shit.  Souse.  Pig knuckles.  Any part of the chicken that isn't intestines or head.  It's the varying texture that I can't stand, I suppose, since gristle and fat just make me ill.  Jellyfish was like that, and the sesame seeds didn't help.

Chitlins!  I have never eaten a chitlin, despite many opportunities.  If it still smells like pig shit when it's on your plate, I'm not going to eat it.

Mushrooms grow in shit.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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