Spiders are awesome

[Cyrrex]

So I gotta ask.  What is funny about the yukky spider?  And did you realize that there is actually now a thread dedicated to all your spider posting needs?

[IainC]

In South Africa we used to have these huge black chitinous spiders with yellow kneepads. We called them 'helicopter eating spiders' and they were fond of carrying their prey to somewhere dark and quiet to eat it - like your shoes for instance. I found one once that wasn't so much in my shoes as wearing my shoes. He must have been almost 14" across. They could also jump huge distances - you'd see one, then it would bunch up and simply disappear - and they clicked when they walked. Pretty much the complete package to drive your average arachnophobe over the edge.

[climbjtree]

The Camel Spider.

Here's a choice bit of info from Wikipedia:

They are fast on land compared to other invertebrates, the fastest can run perhaps 16 kilometers per hour (10 mph)...

...due to the strong muscles of their chelicerae, they can produce a proportionately large, ragged wound that is prone to infection.

This picture is not of a particularly large one, but they are out there. I'll try and find some of the pictures that I took of them last time I was overseas. We used to catch these and pit them against scorpions in mortal combat. We'd still kill the winner.

Fuck 'em both.

[Lantyssa]

These were my favorite as a kid.  Jewelled Spiders

They have beautiful webs and are pretty small, usually being less than a centimeter across.  Their shells are hard, so it's possible to pick them up without any risk of a bite, though I never was when I let them walk on me.  I loved them in the back yard because they made these huge orb webs, with a little splash of color in the middle.

[Draegan]

Oh fuck camel spider, kill them with fire.

[stu]

I caught a camel spider with my leatherman once. When chewing threw the tool didn't work, the spider bit off its leg and ran away. Creepy creepy creepy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccvn2dYTWDs

[Engels]

South Africa has too many danged spiders

[Mrbloodworth]

This is my spider theory. It has so far withstood significant peer review.

Spiders are actually the remnants of a prehistoric alien invasion force which is why they so often elicit revulsion and even fear - deep down our lizard brain knows they don't belong here. They came from another, much larger planet where creatures were much smaller, through some reconnaissance errors they ended up invading the Earth where they found that the dominant life forms were too large to eat/subjugate. Since then they have been reduced to a life of scuttling around and pretending they don't care.

Other members of the family arachnidae also arrived with the main invasion fleet. Scorpions for example are not creatures at all but are armoured fighting suits for spiders. If it were possible to cut one open without triggering the self-destruct systems, you'd find a spider in the central cockpit operating it like a machine.

Every so often you'll be walking down a street with fallen leaves being blown around and you'll see the occasional leaf moving in the opposite direction to the others, this is no leaf but a scout craft from the mothership trying to make contact with the beachhead.

South Africa has too many danged spiders

I am now am a believer.

Also:

NSFW?



and:

[Slyfeind]

Lantyssa's spiders are the cutest things EVER. Like that one is playing peek-a-boo trying to get us to like her. Imagine her with a cute voice saying "peekie boo! I luv yoo!" ^_^

Scorpions don't make any sense to me. They're not even animals. They're just...WEAPONS. LOTS of weapons, each of which is deadly in its own right, and yet these creatures have tons of them all piled on top of each other. Your theory makes sense, Iain...except for baby scorpions. Scorpions are piles of weapons that give birth to baby piles of weapons. WTF?

[Tebonas]

Biological weapons, grown like many other alien transportation devices, like Leviathans, Vorlon spacecrafts or Wraith hiveships.

[Mrbloodworth]

or....

[Amarr HM]

The lizard brain theory is interesting I'm sure there is some connection there because they truly trigger a deep phobic response. Maybe at some stage in our evolution process spiders were a threat to our overall survival.

[ahoythematey]

You say that like they aren't now.  It's us or them, we cannot coexist.

[Sir T]

I never trust anything with more eyes than me.

Still the Crystal spider from the film Krull Is a really nice piece of work

[Engels]

omg if I ever see Velketor's Laberyinth again it'll be too soon

[Hawkbit]

This is my spider theory. It has so far withstood significant peer review.

Spiders are actually the remnants of a prehistoric alien invasion force which is why they so often elicit revulsion and even fear - deep down our lizard brain knows they don't belong here. They came from another, much larger planet where creatures were much smaller, through some reconnaissance errors they ended up invading the Earth where they found that the dominant life forms were too large to eat/subjugate. Since then they have been reduced to a life of scuttling around and pretending they don't care.

Other members of the family arachnidae also arrived with the main invasion fleet. Scorpions for example are not creatures at all but are armoured fighting suits for spiders. If it were possible to cut one open without triggering the self-destruct systems, you'd find a spider in the central cockpit operating it like a machine.

Every so often you'll be walking down a street with fallen leaves being blown around and you'll see the occasional leaf moving in the opposite direction to the others, this is no leaf but a scout craft from the mothership trying to make contact with the beachhead.

In an intro entomology class I took at Ohio State years ago, the TA said that if somewhere in the evolutionary cycle spiders had happened to grow to the size of small housecats, human beings would likely never have evolved at all because they would have been food sources.  Cat-sized spider?  holy shit. 

[squirrel]

The scariest spiders by far are the Northern Australian funnel webs, they are really fucking agressive I saw an awareness broadcast about not having enough antivenom when I was living in Oz the doctor was teasing one with a stick and the spider snapped the end off it with it's fangs. Hmm wonder if I can find it...nope but here's a nice closeup sweet dreams motherfuckers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkzlINZsXu8

I came very close to stepping on one at a surf club in Cairns. It was raining and he was hiding out under a picnic bench in the smoking area. Someone pointed him out and I jumped 10 fucking feet.

I hate spiders.

[Amarr HM]

Fuck yah man and the further north you go the more venomous they are so he would have pwned you I never managed to see one thank fuck. But I had a similar runin with a redback who landed on my arm as I was sitting talking to a few fellow travellers in Byron Bay. I initially froze and thought about it for a few seconds then deftly flicked him off, little fucker threw out a line and was doing a u-turn back to my arm, causing me to panic and jump around I don't like em much either.

[Engels]

see, that right there is fucked up. you tried to flick him off, but he tethered himself to you and bungie-jumped his ass back at you. it just ain't right.

[Fordel]

This is why I live where it's cold and it snows. Kills off all the serious bugs for the most part!

[Amarr HM]

Yeh Irelands great for that, living in Australia was like living with the sword of Damocles hanging by a single thread..either that or I smoked too much weed 

[apocrypha]

you have no choice but to get at least 4 webs right across the face.

Walking stick, man! Pro tip: they're not for walking. They're for hitting things (and clearing webs).

Good call, I could actually do with a walking stick for walking too atm!

[climbjtree]

I never trust anything with more eyes than me.

Yeah, so that means all your four-eyed f13'ers too!

[Sir T]

I never trust anything with more eyes than me.

Yeah, so that means all your four-eyed f13'ers too!

I have 4 eyes... 

[Lantyssa]

Don't lose an eye, or you'll be very distrustful.

[Strazos]

I fucking HATE spiders. HATE HATE HATE. Also, snakes.

At least in NJ anything more than a daddylonglegs is fairly rare.

I wish all insects and arachnids a swift death and extinction.

[Tebonas]

While you waste energy hating them, they only wait dispassionately until they are large enough so that you can be reclassified as foodsource.

Thats why they will win, no errors due to emotions. Just waiting and growing...

[TheWalrus]

Thats why I hate finding a shed exoskeleton. I know that somewhere out there is a bigger and better spider. Probably right behind me.

[Der Helm]

This reminds me that you are (statistically) never more than 3 meters (roughly 9 feet?) away from a spider, wherever your are.

Also there are round about 200 spiders in or around a typically European flat. 

[Sir T]

I remember one time I went into an outhouse at the end of winter and the walls were covered with desicated husks of spiders. There were one 2 spiders left, on opposite walls. They had all gone in there to slwwp out the winter and had fed off one another in the cold dark months... I felt like saying "there can be only one"

[Mrbloodworth]

Dude.

[Ingmar]

This reminds me that you are (statistically) never more than 3 meters (roughly 9 feet?) away from a spider, wherever your are.

Also there are round about 200 spiders in or around a typically European flat. 

We have loads and loads of spiders here, yeah. On the plus side, my apartment is free of non-spider bugs pretty much completely. On the minus side, I just found a big fat black widow on my patio while cleaning yesterday. Been a while since I had seen one, this one was probably about as big across as a nickel when you include the legs, I freaking hate those things. Regular house spiders don't bug me at all, but I could do without black widows. Luckily we don't *seem* to have any indoors. I do worry what we'll find when we eventually move and have to go into the back recesses of closets that haven't been touched in years though.

[KallDrexx]

The scariest spiders by far are the Northern Australian funnel webs, they are really fucking agressive I saw an awareness broadcast about not having enough antivenom when I was living in Oz the doctor was teasing one with a stick and the spider snapped the end off it with it's fangs. Hmm wonder if I can find it...nope but here's a nice closeup sweet dreams motherfuckers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkzlINZsXu8
[/quote

jesus, that's one aggressive fucker

[Draegan]

I fucking HATE spiders. HATE HATE HATE. Also, snakes.

At least in NJ anything more than a daddylonglegs is fairly rare.

I wish all insects and arachnids a swift death and extinction.

We have plenty of Black Widows and Wolf Spiders here in Jersey.

[Signe]

Black Widows are all over the US now, I think.  The Pine Barrens have plenty of wolf spiders, Black Widows and Brown Recluses.  WATCH OUT SCREAM RUN RUN!!!! 

Oh hai.  Plz don't kill me.  I'm sweet and hairy and probably won't bite you much.  I'm unlikely to be a Brown Recluse so you might not even rot to death.  Still, like the title says - I'm Awesome!