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Author Topic: Spiders are awesome  (Read 99334 times)
Draegan
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on: October 23, 2008, 09:43:30 AM

« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 11:24:04 AM by schild »
Oban
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Reply #1 on: October 23, 2008, 09:50:48 AM

Awesome, thank you for the nightmares.

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Ookii
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Reply #2 on: October 23, 2008, 09:54:50 AM

Spiders need their own thread because they aren't awesome, just really fucking scary.

Sky
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Reply #3 on: October 23, 2008, 10:29:45 AM

Awesome AND scary. I love that spider. You know he'll be down at the spider bar bragging and picking up the ladies.

NiX
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Locomotive Pandamonium


Reply #4 on: October 23, 2008, 10:49:11 AM

Man, I see that picture and not even a minute later a spider comes crawling out from under my keyboard. Didn't help that when I turned over my keyboard it looked like the spider was trying to lay eggs on it. Now I'm bugging out. ACK!
Cyrrex
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Reply #5 on: October 23, 2008, 10:54:21 AM

Okay, I don't generally get overly creeped out by spiders (unless I have to, you know, kill them) - but what in the NAME OF SATAN is that monstrous thing that has somehow grabbed a huge fucking bird? 

I now have the willies.  Thank you.

Edit:  spelling.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 01:13:57 PM by Cyrrex »

Never, ever assume someone that short and fat has their shit together. - Schild
IainC
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Reply #6 on: October 23, 2008, 11:01:39 AM

This is my spider theory. It has so far withstood significant peer review.

Spiders are actually the remnants of a prehistoric alien invasion force which is why they so often elicit revulsion and even fear - deep down our lizard brain knows they don't belong here. They came from another, much larger planet where creatures were much smaller, through some reconnaissance errors they ended up invading the Earth where they found that the dominant life forms were too large to eat/subjugate. Since then they have been reduced to a life of scuttling around and pretending they don't care.

Other members of the family arachnidae also arrived with the main invasion fleet. Scorpions for example are not creatures at all but are armoured fighting suits for spiders. If it were possible to cut one open without triggering the self-destruct systems, you'd find a spider in the central cockpit operating it like a machine.

Every so often you'll be walking down a street with fallen leaves being blown around and you'll see the occasional leaf moving in the opposite direction to the others, this is no leaf but a scout craft from the mothership trying to make contact with the beachhead.

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Tarami
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Reply #7 on: October 23, 2008, 11:14:07 AM

ACK!

Normally spiders don't really bother me at all, but the... fuck!

Now I'm bugging out.
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Ookii
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Reply #8 on: October 23, 2008, 11:21:16 AM


Ok let's play.  Take that.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 11:23:51 AM by schild »

Tarami
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Reply #9 on: October 23, 2008, 11:26:09 AM

I feel it's the wrong kind of awesome for this thread. GTFO!

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Ookii
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Reply #10 on: October 23, 2008, 11:27:53 AM

I think spider pictures should be banned from the Internet.

HaemishM
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Reply #11 on: October 23, 2008, 11:37:31 AM

Yes, bitches.

apocrypha
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Reply #12 on: October 23, 2008, 11:54:56 AM

he'll be down at the spider bar bragging and picking up the ladies.

Yeah... picking them up by the head and wrapping them up for later!  swamp poop

"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
MisterNoisy
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Reply #13 on: October 23, 2008, 12:35:03 PM


Ok let's play.  Take that.

Heh.  I remember smashing a wolf spider with a dustpan when I was a kid and then freaking the hell out when a ton of baby spiders started running all over the place.  Good times.

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Lantyssa
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Reply #14 on: October 23, 2008, 01:14:44 PM

You're all a bunch of pansies.  Spiders are awesome!

Playing house:

Beautiful Pedipalps:

My friend picked me up a few weeks ago and had a jumping spider on my side.  It's amazing how they cover such large distances almost instantly.  I played with it a bit and herded it onto my shirt so it wouldn't be stuck in the car when I got out.  Then it did this bungie jump:  Lept out, legs splayed, while riding it's line down to the ground.  It looked totally bad ass.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Cyrrex
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Reply #15 on: October 23, 2008, 01:20:15 PM

Um, those pictures continue to be NOT awesome.  Also, stop calling those creepy minions of Satan "beautiful".  There is nothing worse than hairy spiders that look like they are deep in thought.

Never, ever assume someone that short and fat has their shit together. - Schild
Lakov_Sanite
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Reply #16 on: October 23, 2008, 02:03:45 PM


 awesome, for real
« Last Edit: October 23, 2008, 02:30:21 PM by Ookii »

~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
Draegan
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Reply #17 on: October 23, 2008, 02:07:11 PM

If I can become immune to his poison and/or his fangs aren't strong enough to pierce my skin I want him as a pet.
NiX
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Reply #18 on: October 23, 2008, 02:11:39 PM

Now spider pictures infect this AND the funny pictures thread. Not fucking cool!
apocrypha
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Reply #19 on: October 23, 2008, 02:23:46 PM

I'm with Lantyssa, spiders rock.

Even the common ones we get in the UK are gorgeous:


"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
Sky
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Reply #20 on: October 23, 2008, 02:26:01 PM

Now spider pictures infect this AND the funny pictures thread. Not fucking cool!
Apropos with your avatar :)

Spiders rock!!  DRILLING AND MANLINESS

photek
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Reply #21 on: October 23, 2008, 06:27:01 PM

Fuck you guys. Im never clicking spoilers in this thread again  Heartbreak

Spiders are horrible, horrible creatures.

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stu
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Reply #22 on: October 23, 2008, 08:41:59 PM



Spider Jerusalem

Dear Diary,
Jackpot!
Amarr HM
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Reply #23 on: October 23, 2008, 08:48:50 PM

The scariest spiders by far are the Northern Australian funnel webs, they are really fucking agressive I saw an awareness broadcast about not having enough antivenom when I was living in Oz the doctor was teasing one with a stick and the spider snapped the end off it with it's fangs. Hmm wonder if I can find it...nope but here's a nice closeup sweet dreams motherfuckers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkzlINZsXu8

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Lantyssa
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Reply #24 on: October 23, 2008, 10:15:54 PM

Cool!  Funnel web spiders are one of the few I would not want to run into though.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Amarr HM
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Reply #25 on: October 23, 2008, 10:30:35 PM

Imagine if they cross breeded with jumping spiders we'd all be fucked. Tinfoil Hat

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Der Helm
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Reply #26 on: October 24, 2008, 12:15:06 AM

Man, I see that picture and not even a minute later a spider comes crawling out from under my keyboard. Didn't help that when I turned over my keyboard it looked like the spider was trying to lay eggs on it. Now I'm bugging out. ACK!

Ok, I have checked my keyboard now. Three times so far. Thank you very much.  ACK!

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FatuousTwat
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Reply #27 on: October 24, 2008, 02:38:06 AM

Man, I see that picture and not even a minute later a spider comes crawling out from under my keyboard. Didn't help that when I turned over my keyboard it looked like the spider was trying to lay eggs on it. Now I'm bugging out. ACK!

Ok, I have checked my keyboard now. Three times so far. Thank you very much.  ACK!
Huge fucking wolf spider did that the 2 days ago to me... Their pedipalps are almost as long as their legs, creepy.

Also, this time of years tons of European Garden Spiders invade my house, I have to watch out when I come out of my bedroom in the morning or I walk in to webs on the way to the bathroom.

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
apocrypha
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Reply #28 on: October 24, 2008, 03:00:30 AM

We've got a veg-cage in our garden, about 4m x 2m x 2m, netted off, to keep our cats from shitting around our veg, and sometimes there's more web than plant in there. Walking through it to get to the compost bin (which is itself home to some of the largest spiders I've ever seen wild in the UK) you have no choice but to get at least 4 webs right across the face.

I reckon some of those spiders have noticed my weekly trips with a bucket of stuff for the compost and have figured that if they manage to bag me they'll eat all through the winter.

I'll try and get some photos next week :)

"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
Tebonas
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Reply #29 on: October 24, 2008, 03:17:41 AM

I love spiders. They eat all the insects I hate. Sady my sister has arachnophobia and lets my brother-in-law kill them whenever she sees one.
NowhereMan
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Reply #30 on: October 24, 2008, 08:18:53 AM

I like nice, sensible European spiders. They kill insects and make pretty webs (some of them at least). They are also of a sensible size and can't kill me. Australia can fuck right off.

I met an Aussie once who had been bitten by a funnel web on his foot. Luckily for him he was in a swimming pool at the time so none of the venom actually got into it but he still had a scar on his foot from the fucking bite alone. Fuck that.

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Murgos
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Reply #31 on: October 24, 2008, 09:11:01 AM

WTF?  How do you get bit by a spider in the pool?  How the hell does that even happen?

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Cyrrex
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Reply #32 on: October 24, 2008, 09:19:37 AM

WTF?  How do you get bit by a spider in the pool?  How the hell does that even happen?

Um, well, if you were stupid like me and watched the video Amarr HM posted, you'd probably understand better.  That thing looked like it could follow you just about anywhere, and kick your ass into tomorrow.  Damn, I didn't realize how much spiders creeped me out until this thread happened.  Damn you people and you damned scary spiders.

Never, ever assume someone that short and fat has their shit together. - Schild
NowhereMan
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Reply #33 on: October 24, 2008, 09:29:31 AM

Yeah, some of the larger Aussie spiders can actually survive for a while in water, I think they manage to form a small air bubble and so keep breathing for a while. They just float in the water waiting for death, yours or theirs they care not which.

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Sky
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Reply #34 on: October 24, 2008, 09:41:27 AM

you have no choice but to get at least 4 webs right across the face.
Walking stick, man! Pro tip: they're not for walking. They're for hitting things (and clearing webs).

I started a compost pile at my new house this year, hope to get a good start on a garden next year. Lots of spiders in the woods, but nothing huge. I had one about 1-1/2 inches long (body not legs) build a web in the hostas outside my bedroom, he hung right in the middle of the window. Fiancee hated it, but I figured he was my own personal anti-insect linebacker, last line of defense against backyard insects invading the house.

Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_spider
« Last Edit: October 24, 2008, 09:43:40 AM by Sky »

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