"I'm a retard" and other stories

[Amarr HM]

Ah the old tiredness, same thing that caused me to lose my Ishtar recently and actually it's only like losing two Ishtars so in relative terms its not a major setback and screw it man we have never lost a Cap ship was bound to happen one day ;)  To boot you got a chance to test out your Carriers combat capabilities, for next Carrier I suggest neuts for those nasty little UK nanofuckers (but then I' m Amarr so that's a given).

[Endie]

well atleast now you dont have to worry about making anymore more carrier runs...

This thought did occur to me :D

Actually, I ordered another one within 5 minutes, so if LFA have another in stock I'll not have that long of an excuse.  And Amarr, the embarrassing thing is that I didn't test its combat capabilities: I logged off with about 2 minutes left on my aggression timer, thinking my work was done   They came back with a prober and found me.  I could probably have permatanked them since they had no curse or pilgrim, nor any battleships.

And yes, normally I pack two SBs and two neuts in my highs.  Even my Rorq could have taken that lot with that fit.

[Amarr HM]

Dam didn't realise! So you weren't even logged in that blows.

[Endie]

Dam didn't realise! So you weren't even logged in that blows.

Indeed.  Looking back I miscalculated my aggro timer by well over a minute, like I said.  So I would have stayed in space for 15 minutes more.  If, of course, the reds hadn't solved that problem for me.  The Cyvok Error.

[dwindlehop]

Put scram on my Sabre instead of a disruptor, and spent an hour wondering why the hell my point wasn't landing. 

[Amarr HM]

So I was making soup today while ganking and during the stirring I decided to jump over one system to try a different place for the ganking and walk straight into a warpilot in a HIC who scram,s webs and takes down my gank brutix, all the while my soup is boiling over heh. He manages to even pod me and my 150 mil worth of implants 

So I jump in a Domi fit it up real nice with 3x trimarks and decide to go after him I locate him 10 jumps over in domain start heading towards and jump into a 0.9 system forgetting my sec status is -2.6. I see the criminal flag notice and try and burn towards the gate before Concord arrive, but they never do instead the local faction police immediately lock me, jam, scram, web and neut me concord never turned up I've not seen this before ho hum at least it was insured.

[lac]

I'll be damned.

Years ago, when I first took up Eve, I raced towards battleships and when finally was able to fly them I had accumulated enough standing to run level 4 missions. I couldn't use large guns at the time so I resorted to flying a maelstrom equipped with medium artillery. I would check out the l4 agent in the station I was doing l3's in and if he offered a drone mission I ran it in my medium arty maelstrom without too much trouble (but quite a lot of warping in/out). Easy money.

One day I was doing one of these drone l4 missions when my ship got inexplicably stuck in space near a large space structure. I could rotate all I want but my ship just wouldn't move. The waves of drones easily broke my tank and both the pride of my fleet and a sizeable portion of my assets became space dust. The endless grinding of missions combined with the loss of my biggest ship took my eve fatigue to a level where I unsubscribed not much later.

Fast forward a year and many wild adventures in the lands of Azeroth.

I resubscribe, avoid doing too much pve, have a rather good time and one day decide to do a drone mission. Kablamo, before I realise its the mission that got me killed the first time, I get stuck at the exact same structure. Laugh, cry or facepalm - my maelstrom gets popped before I can decide.

I shrug it off, decide to avoid the mission and continue to mess around.

Then today, I read the patch notes:
# Ships no longer get stuck when warping into “Infiltrated Outposts” Level 4 mission.

Somewhere, around a strangely magnetic structure, some drones are about to get violated.

[ajax34i]

Somewhere, around a strangely magnetic structure, some drones are about to get violated.

CCP, a few days later:  "Oops, according to reports, that fix didn't quite work...  Ok, should be fixed now.  Try again, it'll work this time."

[bhodi]

That sucks. If you had petitioned, they'd have returned your ship... known bugs.

(Also, drone missions suck, nos doesn't work on NPCs, and you should fit at least one SBA instead of 4 hardeners.. in fact, 2 SBA II if you can use them is better than any third hardener of any type - plus, they use no cap)

[lac]

I petitioned it both times. I can't remember if they returned my ship the first time but I don't think so, the second time around I got the stock 'it didn't show in our logs' answer despite me stating it was the second time that had happened and that they surely should have plenty of petitions from people experiencing the same thing.

[VickeVire]

A friend at work just told me a little story about how someone was sitting in a high-sec plex with a smartbomb fitted Golem as my firends corpmate comes into the pocket. The corpmate see an opportunity to get free loot and speeds into smartbomb range

Concord does the work and not does this high-sec dweller just lose a very expensive ship, he gets a security hit pushing him below -3 with the new rules

[Jayce]

A friend at work just told me a little story about how someone was sitting in a high-sec plex with a smartbomb fitted Golem as my firends corpmate comes into the pocket. The corpmate see an opportunity to get free loot and speeds into smartbomb range

Concord does the work and not does this high-sec dweller just lose a very expensive ship, he gets a security hit pushing him below -3 with the new rules

One's gotta love unintended consequences.

[Thrawn]

So I'm fitting out my alt in Venal to run salvage and loot for me.  I have an open space in mids that I would probably throw another Cap Recharger in, but I think to myself "I've got a MWD, why not just throw in a warp disrupter, never know what will happen."  So I grab one and try to throw it on only to be met by a message informing me I do not have the skills to use that item.  Almost 6m SP and I don't have Propulsion Jamming 1.  Of course since I'm in Venal that isn't something I can just grab off the market quick either. 

[lac]

Oh hai - I posted in the wrong thread

[Phildo]

That certainly qualifies for this thread, then.

[Nerf]

[03:56:21] Bara Mustafus > when are you aloud to kill some one with a bounty?
[03:56:36] Nerf Blasters > whenver if they have the little skull
[03:56:37] Nerf Blasters > they're criminals
[03:56:49] Bara Mustafus > really?
[03:56:54] Nerf Blasters > yeah, light em up
[03:57:08] Bara Mustafus > ..ur lying arnt you?
[03:59:07] Bara Mustafus > bastard..
[03:59:34] Nerf Blasters > You asked a question, I gave you the answer, no need to get angry
[03:59:44] Bara Mustafus > u lied lol
[03:59:57] Nerf Blasters > Negative, you can kill criminals
[04:00:07] Bara Mustafus > then why did i just get blasted?
[04:00:15] Nerf Blasters > Were they flashing red?
[04:00:24] Bara Mustafus > they jad the skull
[04:00:31] Nerf Blasters > oh, then they werent criminals
[04:00:37] Damon Angelos > lol
[04:00:38] Bara Mustafus > GRR
[04:00:44] allenski > lol

[Drugstore Space Cowboy]

Nerf, what's your avatar?

[Nerf]

I call him captain America, I've got the full image at home in high res, I'll link it when I get home from work.

[dwindlehop]

http://uninvitedguests.info/KB/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=7907

I thought it was lowsec?



I love this thread.

[bhodi]

yeah but it was rigged.. hahahahaha

[Grand Design]

Oops!

Good laugh.

[Slayerik]

Jeez Dwindlehop, if you took on my profession you would have been elevated to God status :)

I wonder how many billions of iskies I have removed from the game.

Fuckin' CCP should have me on their payroll :)

[Amarr HM]

Yeh and you can include me as your fallout 

[Grand Design]

Fuckin' CCP should have me on their payroll :)

Spy.

[Jayce]

Fuckin' CCP should have me on their payroll :)

If CCP had you on the payroll, you'd be in BoB   

[Amarr HM]

So a bunch of noobs in T1 cruisers came down to Q-T this morning I was taking intel on them and passing it on via the channels, but noone was bothered reading them cause nobody took notice til I typed in Q-T local "reds incoming". So we get a 8 man gang started with a couple of blackbirds me in an ewar arbi, inties and a Myrmidon flown by the FC. He orders us to warp to the gate at our optimals which is 50km for me and about same for the blackbirds . Upon arrival he asks over vent what have they got? Just as I'm copying and pasting my earlier intel he says fuck it I'm jumping in to have a look. Then he's like they are all here and lists out the ships that I've just pasted in Fleet chat, next order is "everyone jump in lets take him here" leaving us all scratching our heads, why aren't you coming I'm about to go down?? Fcs buddy is asking why we are all warping to belts?
Ok so I wasn't the retard but it gave me a good laugh, Rex Hargrove goonfleet superstar in the making
http://killboard.goonfleet.com/km/252770

[Phildo]

He strikes me as a drunken buffoon.

[Der Helm]

I don't get it.

[Amarr HM]

Telling your fleet members to warp to their optimals and then expecting quick support when you jump into a bunch of reds is neither gung ho, nor clever, but it's funny as fuck.

[Der Helm]

Oh. Now I get it.

[Jayce]

Thalo takes a risk
Subtitle: Damn your corp Slay!

So, when we were about to join Goons I thought I would rat a bit in Venal.  So I bought a Typhoon but I never got around to actually assembling it.  When I left, I put it on the market for 72 mil but no one bought it.

Tonight I decided to go out there and retrieve it.  Plan: fly there in a shuttle.  If I hit a gatecamp, I lose a clone, no biggie.  If I don't, what's the likelihood of finding one on the way back at 3am Eastern US time?

Welp.  Turns out that about 10 jumps out, in the middle of MM territory, there was a Tri and some random neut camping the gate.  Because I'm a retard and couldn't be arsed to even fit a stab, I get webbed and pointed and popped while trying to slowboat the 15k back to the gate.

http://f13.7mph.com/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=4484

Bad news:  I lost out on selling it for probably the 70 mil I wanted for it.  Good news: I got to drink a beer while flying it.

Really, it wasn't that bad.  If I had insured it but hadn't hit trouble: 70 mil - 22 mil = 48 mil.  In this case I got the default payout of 30 mil.  Net loss of 18mil.  Though, if I had been smart enough to fit WCS I would have made something like 69.5mil   

[Slayerik]

Haha, i was just going to give ya shit for dying to Kaker. I had logged about an hour earlier from a roam with him and a couple friends.

He died 5 minutes later to an NC camp if it makes ya feel any better :)

http://kb.eve-gods.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=30871

[Jayce]

Haha, funny thing is that we lost about the same amount of isk.  I did see a few dozen NC in the area, thought they were at a station but must have been on a roam.   I didn't call them on him or anything.

I don't see any of my loot on him either, now that would have been funny.  I was carrying a shuttle though so he probably couldn't fit it.

[MahrinSkel]

This is why FC's should either be in Coverts, have an alt account in one, or make damn sure they have and keep in touch with scouts.  Oh, and not be retarded.

--Dave

[Endie]

Falcons are pretty vulnerable to the FC who can't decide which side of a gate to engage on.  In Catch in particular I was always slowboating to gates while primaries are being called on the other side (fitting an AB is fine, fitting an MWD gimps your falcon in all sorts of ways), after warping to a gate at 100 then having some retard IAC FC go all gung-ho.