Duke Nukem Forever?!?

[Xuri]

Anything that's so unlikely as that story has to be true.

[Phire]

The chair story is fiction, the guy states it in the first line on the site. Reading comprehension FTW:

This is a story I wrote...

[Ratman_tf]

The chair story is fiction, the guy states it in the first line on the site. Reading comprehension FTW:

This is a story I wrote...

You really should have read past the first 6 words.

This is a story I wrote on another site in response to someone wanting me to elaborate more on a “chair story” I had referred to that happened during my time at 3DR.

[UnSub]

I mean they were going to stab him with a wooden splinter in the middle of the busiest place in L.A.?  It's preposterous.

They didn't need to stab him; they just needed to show that was a possible outcome. If he'd said no at that point, he probably would have gotten something painful that wouldn't leave marks, not staked.

It's an impossible story to prove or disprove, but my inclination is to believe it because if that part is false, so is everything above it. The fact that DNF took so long to come out lends credence to the first part of the story and the Chair Story by association.

[dusematic]

What makes a lot more sense is that they were just bad businessmen.  The game wasn't finished in 12 years due to incompetence.  If upper middle-class computer nerds threatened to stab me with a chair shard in the middle of E3 I'd laugh my balls off.  And I'm one of the biggest pussies on the planet. 

[NiX]

You really should have read past the first 6 words.

This is a story I wrote on another site in response to someone wanting me to elaborate more on a “chair story” I had referred to that happened during my time at 3DR.

So, yeah...

For everyone who is interested in a hopefully interesting fictionalization of the reason DNF took so long, feel free to click the link at the very top.

Bold isn't mine. Original author emphasized that.

[LK]

People are gullible.

[Rendakor]

That list linked was pretty amusing. My favorite one:

"World War II and the entire Manhattan Project. Yes, even the complete development of the atomic bomb took less time."

[Ozzu]

Anonymous former 3D Realms employee on the SA forums:

In my best interest, I'm going to be somewhat candid for now. I will, however, elaborate a bit on some things:

The 2001 trailer was 100% scripted cinematic, and not actual gameplay. They built specific demo maps just to record video from to make a trailer. Everything you see in that trailer was phony.

The typical work flow there went something like this:
Designer would be assigned a task (build a new map, rebuild an old map, polish a bit of a map, etc.). Designer would work on said task for two, three weeks, a month, all the while lower management would be looking over it and making sure it was going in a "good general direction." Designer would move on to another task. A month or two later upper management would finally look at the work and say, "It's all wrong, do it again." Rinse, repeat.

Entire maps would be done from the ground up, almost to beta quality, and then thrown out simply because no one would make decisions early on in the process. (Read up on Valve's 'orange box' method of design -- that's how you make games)

Another example of WTF is the fact that there was one part of one map that was being worked on before I started working there. Nineteen months later and the same designer was still working on the same part of that same map... I'm not blaming the designer, it wasn't his fault.

I think the biggest problem that the company had in general is being self-funded. When you're a developer working directly with a publisher and you have milestones to meet it's a whole different ballgame. If you don't meet those milestones, you don't get any money. That right there will keep your project on schedule. If, however, you're funding it yourself, you don't really have anyone to answer to except yourself and you can quickly lose sight of just how much money is going out the door.

[UnSub]

People are gullible.

Yeah, he did post an update to say it was just fiction, not fact.

Why he'd make up a story that was couched in fact - DNF is taking a long time because ... and then this other thing happened which make people I worked with look bad - is obviously down to the author being funny on SA and having a lot of time on his hands because he was working on DNF.

[Sky]

How to Fleece Venture Capatilists 101

[schild]

How to Fleece Venture Capatilists 101

3D Realms was self-funded.

[Hindenburg]

Leaked gameplay footage. Looks like a fun time. Wonder if it'll be picked up by Activision or EA.

[Jobu]

Leaked gameplay footage. Looks like a fun time. Wonder if it'll be picked up by Activision or EA.

I thought it looked pretty boring, personally.

That's being harsh though, because it's most likely unfinished and/or older builds.

[NiX]

What's being shown is an animators portfolio, so it's pretty much limited to the extent of what they animated. There's a write up floating around that goes through the game, start to finish.

[UnSub]

A potential view to the events that saw 3DR close.

[Tairnyn]

Here are the screenshots and the plot lines that were leaked. The screenshots don't seem to be as "hi res" as I would expect and the scaling on the buggy shots looks down right strange, but there seems to be enough detail for them to be legit. They definitely fulfill the brown quota for standard gaming fare.

[Mrbloodworth]

Its a shame, a duke nukem game could have been fun. always loved the crass humor.

[NiX]

A potential view to the events that saw 3DR close.

First comment is gold. Someone likes to wear blinders.

[HaemishM]

That has got to be the sarchasm. No one can be that fucking deluded. 

[IainC]

That has got to be the sarchasm. No one can be that fucking deluded. 

Welcome to the internet, you look like you're new here.

[Sheepherder]

It looks like they've been upgrading the same backdrop for screenshots every time they jump to a new engine.  Awesome.

[dusematic]

Take 2 needs to stfu imo.



lol

[HaemishM]

That has got to be the sarchasm. No one can be that fucking deluded. 

Welcome to the internet, you look like you're new here.

Yeah, every once in a while my inner optimist bleeds out and it ends up in a post that takes like sweet, sweet candy.

[IainC]

Yahtzee reviews DNF.

[Samwise]

I'd totally forgotten about ZP this week.  Holy shit that was awesome. 

[Venkman]

Can you dig (vertically) in Darkfall?

Also, Duke related: The Chair Story (revival)

The chair story is good, but a little on the mafioso side. It does explain the Duke Nukem feature creep and Unreal Engine announcements, but I can't shake the feeling that all the decent talent left 3DR at least 5 years ago.

Just catching up now, but I got the same vibe. And it wasn't so much the mafioso side as much as it was a complete departure from the rest of the story. It felt like the last paragraph was written later, almost like he wanted to support the assertion that this was "fiction". But it ended up coming off a bit like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance where periodically there were these wierd tangents into Phaedras (sp?) and other religious stuff.

Thing I do gotta wonder about is that if the plan was so fullproof, what of recent events? Or was the plan only in effect for the duration of global financial spending sprees?

[Sheepherder]

You missed the part where it's a gag.

[Ratman_tf]

People are gullible.

Yeah, he did post an update to say it was just fiction, not fact.

Bargle.

[Venkman]

You missed the part where it's a gag.

Nope, got that. Trouble is we don't know for sure if it was a gag, or if it was, which part? The best lies are 90% truth, which is why I wondered about the hazing thing at the end. It felt bolted on merely for effect.

If the whole thing was actually a gag and not retconned as one to avoid the lawyers, then ya, everything I said here is irrelevant

Used to that though 

[NiX]

I honestly think the story was made up so that the sad story of way DnF failed wouldn't make it to light.

[Sheepherder]

Nope, got that. Trouble is we don't know for sure if it was a gag, or if it was, which part? The best lies are 90% truth, which is why I wondered about the hazing thing at the end. It felt bolted on merely for effect.

This is Tim Sweeney, he's the scary motherfucker with the chair leg.  The most awesome lies get masses of people to believe the most retarded shit imaginable.

 

[Triforcer]

I'm a lawyer.  I read that story.  Its hard to put into words, but it doesn't "feel" like fiction in the way it is written.  It wasn't written up in a subtly humorous way, its pretty matter-of-fact.  What I am betting happened is that the "fictional" disclaimer was added because the author got a visit a lot fucking scarier than a table leg six inches from the eye- namely, three $850 an hour lawyers from a NY white shoe firm who were more than willing to pound his anus for the next 10 years if the addendum didn't go out.   I could be wrong, but my lawyer sense is tingling on this one. 

[UnSub]

Tim Sweeney:



Dennis Nilsen:



Jeffrey Dahmer:



My point: sometimes the guys to be scared of don't look like guys to be scared of.

I bought the story as true because it is damn weird to make it up. However, I'm happy to accept it as fiction since that is what the author claims.

[gryeyes]

Its not like the crazy fucks challenge you to a fist fight. They soothe you with trickery, then plant an axe in your spine.