More potential "film of game" disasters

[DraconianOne]

Only seen Timothy Olyphant in the lamentable Dreamcatcher and can't even remember which one he was but here is with shaved heid and barcode tat in his role as Agent 47 over at Aint-It-Cool.  Not sure the second picture gives the right impression of a hard as nails hitman.

Also news that Lionsgate have optioned a movie based on the as yet unreleased Kane & Lynch.

[Ironwood]

Oh God, why ??!

[Wolf]

Hitman was shot here a couple of months ago. Which means it will be EXTRA crappy. Only very heavily underbudgeted movies are shot here ^^

[Signe]

I think he looked better in Deadwood.  Some people shouldn't shave their head. 

[DraconianOne]

Oh God, why ??!

After the runaway box office successes that were Silent Hill, Doom, Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark, I'm surprised you're surprised!

[Mandrel]

I think he looked better in Deadwood.  Some people shouldn't shave their head. 

People with shaved heads look better when they let their head get some sun, and not look so pasty cancer- patient like.

[Fabricated]

Oh God, why ??!

After the runaway box office successes that were Silent Hill, Doom, Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark, I'm surprised you're surprised!

Silent Hill did pretty good actually. Not amazing zomg blockbuster but it made back its production costs at least which is not that bad for a horror movie that ISN'T based off a video game.

[schild]

Agent 47 shoulda been Vin Diesel.

Silent Hill made money. And was awesome.

[Lantyssa]

Even I liked Silent Hill.  That says something.

(Probably that I like Laurie Holden in a tight-fitting leather cop uniform, but something.)

[Yegolev]

I didn't find any of those women overly attractive, but the movie itself was beautiful.

[bhodi]

You want bad? Here is bad. Talk about spitting on a series...

[rk47]

Uh....Smallville + Terminator?

[DraconianOne]

Silent Hill did pretty good actually. Not amazing zomg blockbuster but it made back its production costs at least which is not that bad for a horror movie that ISN'T based off a video game.

My bad.  To be honest, I did pluck the name out of the air and can't even claim to have seen it (although it is on the list).  Am I allowed to use Resident Evil 2 instead?  Or even Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. 

Agent 47 shoulda been Vin Diesel.

Not sure.  I think he'd have been good but I prefer the idea of someone a less physiscally big.  Jason Statham perhaps (as long as he kept is gob shut) but why not just keep David Bateson as the man?

[Roac]

Another  for Silent Hill (movie).  There were a few "er, wha?" moments that soured the movie, but overall a good flick.  Haven't seen the rest of the movies Draconian mentioned, but the trailers for them haven't interested me in the least either.

[schild]

The second resident evil made ~50 Million. The first made 39 Million. I'm 99% sure they both made money.

None of the names in either cost the studio any money. Yea, they're bad, but at least their fun.

[DraconianOne]

The second resident evil made ~50 Million. The first made 39 Million. I'm 99% sure they both made money.

None of the names in either cost the studio any money. Yea, they're bad, but at least their fun.

Hmmm.  Noob note to self #1 - pay attention to detail on every little word I say here.    I probably have rephrased the, erm, phrase "box office successes" as "big steaming piles of excrement" that were the aforementioned films.  And I'd like to retract my original inclusion of Silent Hill and submit Resident Evil 2 and Mortal Kombat 2 in it's place.  I'll confess to enjoying the first Resident Evil but the second was 48 shades of dire.  And yes, they both made enough money to warrant a third sequel. 

Haven't seen the rest of the movies Draconian mentioned, but the trailers for them haven't interested me in the least either.

I watched Alone in the Dark while very, very drunk.  No amount of alcohol could make it a good film.  I only watched 10 minutes of Bloodrayne and had to be physically restrained from trying to gouge out my own eyeballs.  Doom was just crap but the FPS sequence was highly amusing.  The ending more than anything was a huge let down.

[Lantyssa]

You want bad? Here is bad. Talk about spitting on a series...

I don't mind the concept, but how come River has to go from talking like a normal teenager to the stilted dialect?  Is it really necessary?  Are we going to forget what character she is playing if she talks like a person?

Hmmm.  Noob note to self #1 - pay attention to detail on every little word I say here. 

You can never watch yourself enough.  We'll latch on to anything and twist it to our whims.  Instead, take their words and have fun! :-D

[rk47]

Agent 47 shoulda been Vin Diesel.

Silent Hill made money. And was awesome.

much better imo. Transporter fella with the right outfit too. Just shave his head and we're done.

[HaemishM]

You want bad? Here is bad. Talk about spitting on a series...

Well, fucking hell. I like the kid playing John Conner, I like the guy playing the Terminator (was one of the robbers in The Nine) and I like Summer Glau. I do not like the woman playing Sarah Conner, and I hate the idea of this taking place between T2 and that awful Terminator 3 movie. Break some new fucking ground, follow John Conner IN THE FUTURE, Y0.

Fuckheads.

[Furiously]

I'm sure they will retcon T3 as not happening. I mean this really can't be worse. I hope the Governator makes a cameo as president.

[schild]

Shit. Didn't mean to modify. Meant to quote you Furiously. Apologies. Still, I suppose I fixed it for you... just not the way I intended.

[Rasix]

Am I the only gamer who thought Silent Hill was laughably bad?   I don't see a lot of films each year, but it was easily the worst thing I paid money to see in theaters.

[Nebu]

Am I the only gamer who thought Silent Hill was laughably bad?   I don't see a lot of films each year, but it was easily the worst thing I paid money to see in theaters.

Rotton tomatoes didn't think much of it either.

[Riggswolfe]

Silent Hill was painfully bad. Terminator 3 was surprisingly decent.

End of Line.

[schild]

Silent Hill was painfully bad. Terminator 3 was surprisingly decent.

End of Line.

Sweet. Up is down. Black is white. This is always fun.

[HaemishM]

Am I the only gamer who thought Silent Hill was laughably bad?   I don't see a lot of films each year, but it was easily the worst thing I paid money to see in theaters.

It was a gorgeously shot movie, but the story sucked balls. It built up some creepy moments before going off the page in the third act. The ending was shit.

[Furiously]

I'm gonna trust Schild on this.  Cause his views on films are never whack.

There - added to my netflix que. I'll report back in a week or two.

[schild]

I agree. Never whack. I raise the bar for "correct."

(to be fair, i really liked the story and the ACTUAL ending. Now, if I could take one scene out of the movie, would have increased the quality of the flick 10-fold, instant classic, best since The Wizard, etc etc. Even though it is the best VG movie next to the wizard since the benchmark is in the gutter)

[Lantyssa]

Which scene is that, if you can hint without making it a spoiler?

[Rasix]

Which scene is that, if you can hint without making it a spoiler?

How about the "Thriller" nurses? 

[DraconianOne]

Did my homework, watched the film.  I'm with Haemish on this:

It was a gorgeously shot movie, but the story sucked balls. It built up some creepy moments before going went off the page in the third act. The ending was shit.

Not terrible - not even offensively bad - but not that good either.  Production design was best thing about it - direction was patchy and photography was good but not singularly failed to provoke dread, horror or even low level creepiness.  Sean Bean's american accent, on the other hand, was terrifying.  

[Chimpy]

Over the years I have come to the realization that almost every time an idea works in one medium, it will invariably not work as well when it moves to another medium. The only exceptions I ever see are ones where it was poorly done in one, and they ended up doing it better in it's second medium.

I always use Total Recall as an example of the second medium being better than the first. The Piers Anthony book was written based on the screenplay for the movie, and it was about 20x better than the campy movie that it spawned from.

[schild]

Nurses didn't bother me.

[bhodi]

Over the years I have come to the realization that almost every time an idea works in one medium, it will invariably not work as well when it moves to another medium. The only exceptions I ever see are ones where it was poorly done in one, and they ended up doing it better in it's second medium.

I always use Total Recall as an example of the second medium being better than the first. The Piers Anthony book was written based on the screenplay for the movie, and it was about 20x better than the campy movie that it spawned from.

Which was of course from the short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale which was even better than the piers anthony book.

[Velorath]

I watched Alone in the Dark while very, very drunk.  No amount of alcohol could make it a good film.

Maybe you'll like the low-budget sequel that Uwe Boll announced a couple days ago better.