f13.net

I'm 27 and I haven't been laid.

Spending most of my time on the computer, I didn't develop much of a social life. I thought that I was taking some righteous path and that I'd be just fine without going outside. I was fucking wrong. All this lifestyle had, playing video games all the time, not interacting with people, all that shit that comes with being an antisocial person has only made me lonely, friendless, low self-confidence, and stressed out like crazy. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to see places. I wanted to meet people. I wanted to make friends with people who'd care to invite me to places because they thought I was cool. I wanted to belong. Most importantly, I wanted to bag a chick.

Almost a year ago I decided to allow myself to drink alcohol. I wasn't looking to drink my problems away; I was experimenting to see what a big deal it was. Turns out it really isn't a big deal. What alcohol has taught me is how to be fun, more outgoing, more social, and to have a good time. More than I could have on a computer. WAY MORE. So I had taken an important first step in what I call the Pursuit of Mr. Happy.

One of the problems, and maybe blessings, of being slightly overweight is that I have an extremely high tolerance for alcohol. Granted, this is a pisser in that it costs me more to get drunk, but it's also pretty nice to ease in to that and get valuable experience with drinking. So I was able to socialize better at events and be able to feel like part of a group instead of an outcast. But I was still nervous around women. I was as inexperienced as it gets. I don't have any girl friends, not close to anyone with a vagina, and needed a handicap.

So what'd I do? I went to strip clubs.

There is no finer place to pay for a college-level education in improving self-confidence and building something from nothing when it comes to learning how to talk to people than at a strip club. It's like Easy Mode in an FPS where you shoot one bullet and the enemies just fall over. The girls will come to you. They'll act interested. If you want, they'll rub against you and mean it, and that'll take any awkwardness you have right the fuck out. If you can impress them (which might not be as hard as I thought), you'll feel much better about yourself. Over the course of a year I probably dropped a couple grand in those places wining, dining, and dancing. People I had known over that entire time commented on how I was more loose, more fun, more "educated" after that time. But there was a certain point that I needed to stop going and start hitting the real world. After all, any friend you make in a strip club is only a friend inside the strip club. So Super Bowl Sunday was the last day at a Strip Club.

What was really important is that I made a New Year's Resolution to get laid. 2008 was really a "start to become more normal" type experience. 2009 was when I wanted to put it into practice. January was a bit of a waste, as I was still pulling myself away from strip clubs, so I didn't begin in earnest until a week after the Super Bowl.

I want this to be a sort of travelogue to share with you guys on my journey towards going places no nerd has gone before. It's difficult to document such a lifestyle transformation after the fact, but you might all be interested, and, if not, I wanted to at least put it down some place.

--

February 8th, I went to downtown Hollywood, CA, on the advice of a friend to check out the Spider Club. I got to the general location early and explored the area. The first thing I realized is that a lot of bars and stuff aren't clearly labeled. The second thing I realized is that I had no idea what it was I was looking for when it came to an establishment to hook up.  However, I could sense that this area was HAPPENING, based on the quality of the people walking by and the number of bums present. After all, affluent neighborhoods have lots of bums.

I walked down Hollywood St. towards the Kodak Theatre looking for a place to eat and found the Geisha House. That place is a dive. I was expecting something authentically Japanese. What I got was the decor but not the staff, music, or atmosphere to go with it. I paid way too much for too little food and left the place in disgust.

I checked out the historic Frolic Room next to the Pantageas theatre. Good drinks, good atmosphere, but more a hangout and prep before you go out place than a "I'm here to meet women and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum" place. I also popped into Katsuya on the corner of Hollywood and Vine, which is apparently a major hang out for celebrities (evidenced by Paparazzi camping out) and everyone wearing clothes that are worth more than my monthly salary. Around 10 o'clock I went to Club Avalon, as it turns out the Spider Club was shut down and converted into an elite, reservations-only restaurant known as the Bardot.

I met some friends in line and had a real good time at this night club. Good trance / techno / electronic music that makes all the more difference when you're drunk. Places like that are an EXPERIENCE if you're in the right frame of mind and with good people. But I was able to immediately identify that this was a place to go with your friends and party, not a place to meet people. I also learned several valuable lessons: never buy drinks for people you meet that day, and never fucking trust a phone number exchange unless the person gives you their phone number without you asking, or you ring their phone and they prove that you have the right number.

Also, drinks are fucking expensive at clubs. I got a thimble of Jack Daniels for $10. Bleh. At least put that shit in a shot glass. I also learned that I enjoy establishments where the staff is appreciative of your presence instead of eyeballing you like you might make a move on them.

My partying ways on Friday ended up disabling me on Saturday and Sunday was work night, so I had to wait until next week to keep exploring.

--

February 13th. As ominous a date as you can get. My initial thought was that I should stay inside to avoid any midnight Love Massacres that might occur by having a day like this saddled next to a day like Valentine's Day, but I was hungry and wanted to experience more.

I decided to return to Club Avalon to see if my theories could be confirmed about the place, and that I didn't have any other leads on places to go. A note: I really wanted the non-Internet experience of finding places. I could have gone to CitySearch or any other venues to check places out, but finding it out from other people had this Shenmue-esque "I'm looking for sailors" type nostalgia that made the experience better.

I started by walking down Sunset Blvd. this time to check out any places I hadn't seen there, and to head towards the area where the Kodak Theatre was. I discovered a couple places but a lot of places that were in the area I missed due to minimal markings. At least if I wanted to see Jimmy Kimmel Live!, I knew where to go. After grabbing a slice of New York Style pizza (Yum!) and trying a new place of Yogurt (think Pinkberry but another version), I went to Katsuya for their happy hour. Katsuya has really good food and good drinks. Happy Hour is the only time to really go there unless you're a CEO of a company or you're celebrating a birthday with dresses and tuxes. I spent about an hour there eating food and drinking before I thought it was time to move on and check out other places.

I walked down Argyle St. towards a place called "The Waffle" (any place that serves Waffles all day has to be worth checking out). However, I walked by a place on the way called the Well. I saw some people hanging outside and asked "Uh, is this like the back door to Wells Fargo or something?" They said "No, it's a bar." O Rly? I stepped inside to check the place out and immediately recognized that these were the types of places I was looking for. All it had was a bar, tables and chairs, music, and that's it. I instantly understood why TVs are shunned in these establishments after I had a seat and started browsing the menu. People come to these places to talk to people. They don't want distractions. Lesson learned.

At this point I was extremely loose from drinking so I was able to start up random conversation with a group of friends who were waiting to head out to another party. I kept one guy pretty entertained (and made me think that maybe I should investigate a career in comedy. Seriously. Not a drunken idea.) and ordered some food from their Happy Hour menu (that runs everyday from 5 - 9!). I was able to try out some amazing food and instantly placed this establishment on my top places to visit. BUT! It was not a hookup bar in any sense of the word. This was a staging ground, a meeting point, a get together spot; the perfect spot to enjoy their happy hour and move on to other places.  So I left after 9 and started back towards Avalon.

Avalon was the same as it was last week. Lots of dancing, lots of friends with friends, not much socializing. I left at 1 am and went home tired and downtrodden. But at least I had found out about the Well.

--

February 14th. Valentine's Day. Surely I would find some love?

I slept in pretty late because I had heard that Club Avalon was open til 9 am, and I was worried my drinking last night would have upset my tummy. I woke around 3 and was fine, though, so I got dressed up and headed back down to Hollywood.  The funny shit is that on Friday it took me 2 hours with traffic to get there. Today? An hour and 15 minutes. When there's no traffic I can be there in 45 minutes, so that was a huge improvement.

By the time I got there it was already 7:30 pm. I wanted to eat at Bardot but I had forgotten the exact spelling of its name. I still can't find the website to make reservations. So I went to the Well to try more of their food where I kept a nicely dressed blond woman entertained who was waiting for her friend that was supposed to show up by 6:30, drink, and then leave at 8. She was a regular at the Well as evidenced by the staff talking with her a lot. Also, it turns out the Well was having a Singles Party, but I had showed up a bit late to get the most out of it. Still, free appetizers, and good cheap Happy Hour drinks.

I was starting to realize that I was running out of leads of places to go, and I feared that my trip to check out Avalon tonight (Saturday Night is supposedly different from Friday Nights, so I wanted to see what the crowd was like) would result in me not wanting to go back. So I asked her plans; they were going to go barhopping then eventually end up at a bar called the Association. I broke out my cell phone and started writing this down because I had a tendency to forget bar names I only hear once early in the evening. I waited to see what her late friend looked like, then thanked her and started walking back towards Avalon after 9 o'clock.

Turns out there was a Rockabilly concert going on in the place, and it was going to run long. They said 10:30. After wandering around and coming back at the designated time, it turns out it was closer to 11:15. By that time there was a huge line outside the club.  Hundreds of Rockabilly fans (Jesus...) poured out of the club. It was an interesting mix of characters. After we were finally let in, they were still setting up the Electronics show in the main floor, so we were confined to the lobby. The few drinks I had at 8 o'clock were starting to work their way out of my system, so I was feeling pretty sour in mood. We watched a body art show for what looked like dancers getting made up before they let us into the club floor. Generic electronics music filled the hall. People went out there and danced. I saw people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's mingled with this young crowd and saw a vision of myself in the future. I thought it sucked.

I waited around for another hour just standing around and not wanting to pay the exorbitant prices for drinks, and the show still hadn't started. I left in disgust; all the bars close around 2 am, so I wanted to at least check out the Association on the blond's recommendation.

All I had was a name and not an address. I was starving: I only had an appetizer around 8, and was planning to eat at Club Avalon's exclusive restaurant, the Honey, but it was standing room only and I wouldn't have enjoyed my meal. I thought, alright, I'll go to the Well and try their food. Turns out that Singles Party and "Meeting Spot" turns into a full blown party by midnight. Plus, the kitchen was closed. I couldn't breathe in that place so I left. I decided to go to the Waffle. What can I say? Good waffles. But the manager was kind enough to get me an address for the Association, and off I went.

I thought it was a bit ominous when I parked down the street from the bar on a section of road full of sleeping bums in tents. But, after a block's walk, I found myself in front a large wooden door with a gold handle modeled after the British Prime Minister's home at 10 Downing Street in London. Alright, great first impression. Stepping inside, I thought I had struck goal: this was a place where people were drinking and having fun in an atmosphere that was at both times cozy and sexual. People were hooking up here. I could smell it. But I was here on a scouting mission: it was already 1 am and the place closed in an hour. I didn't want to go in and get drunk with so little time. I found a cozy spot at the end of the bar (passing by the blond who I didn't want to freak out and think I was following her), ordered a couple of drinks, and just watched and waited. I tried to put some Tom Leykis lessons into practice: look interested, having fun, not like you're trying to meet women. Let them come to you. It also helped that I was standing where people had to come up and order drinks.

A tall, blond woman in an evening dress, fresh from a charity event, was trying to get the attention of the bartender. I helped her out and we struck up a conversation. She helps create websites for major movie franchises like Pirates 2 and 3. I thought, cool, interesting person. I was just being myself, not making any moves. I thought she looked nice but to be honest it seemed like she was with some people. But after talking with her for fifteen minutes while her extravagant drinks were being made, she got her bill, tore off a piece of paper, and handed me her phone number.

Shit. That was after 20 minutes in the place.

She said to give her a call if I wanted to hang out and debate. I started to "Go Playah", I asked her what the subject of the debate would be. She said she didn't know, so I said "As long as I get the choose the position of the debate, I'll be good." I felt a little dumb at what was an obviously failed attempt at double entente, so I dropped the act, smiled, and said I enjoy intelligent conversation. We talked Obama and the octuplets before she had to get back with her friends. I think she's Republican or a McCain supporter even though she said she was Democrat.

I hung out for a little while, chatted up with the doorman, then had to shut down since it was 2 am. I saw the woman on the way out; wished her a pleasant evening, to which she returned and rubbed my hands in a warm gesture. The woman looks like she is in her early 30's, but I'll take any friends I can get at this point. She's pretty damn tall too. I thought I saw her wearing low heels but she definitely had 3 inches or so on me. Awesome.

--

Which brings us to today. I wouldn't be going out, except we have tomorrow off from work. Plus, I had a new hot spot to investigate: Downtown L.A. Discussing at the bar has given me a new place to check out: The Golden Gopher. I wanted to walk around downtown and see if I could scrounge up other places, but I used CitySearch today and turns out there's a fuck ton of them. Just gotta know where to go.

So tonight, I'm going to go eat in Little Tokyo (a la Man V. Food), then waltz towards downtown and see the sights and sounds of L.A. When it gets late enough I'm going to call the woman and see what she had in mind for a good place to "debate". At this point I'm open to suggestions on how to have a good time because, as I mentioned at the start of this post, I'm as inexperienced as you can get. But I'm working on it.

So I'll update y'all on whatever happens tonight. My goal is to hookup with a Japanese girl, but my defenses are extremely weak against the wiles of women, and I've found that while I may like the look, when it comes to personality I don't give a crap what their ethnicity is. Still, I haven't found the place in LA where white guys go to meet Japanese chicks. I should ask my coworkers since damn near all of them have Asian girlfriends / wives.

Also, I am so fucking definitely going to start taking my exercise seriously.

1) Prepare for flames about this place not being a blog.

2) Getting laid isn't that great.  (Caveat emptor: This is grump week and I'm not in the norm on a good one.)

3) Good luck! :drillf:

Holy shit, that's long (no offense).

I have only one thing to say for now: Stay away from strip clubs. Nothing wrong with strippers per se, but that's a silly move to try to meet them there. Generally speaking, you're not going to be having any fun (cheap fun at least) with these girls unless you meet them elsewhere, as a non-customer. Otherwise, you're a sucker. Don't do that to yourself. I swear to God, I've only stepped in strip clubs a handful of times in my entire life. I'm 31. I actually despise those places, and feel sorry for any dude in there... and act like an asshole who can't control myself from laughing at the girls there. Yet, they are still familiar territory for me outside of all of that.


Also, one other thing. Stop with the Japanese shit. If you want to get laid, get laid. Don't let your own fantasies cockblock you out of that.

tl; dr: Try internet dating.

For real.. and look at this way: Last two girls I hooked up through the internet were strippers. See, so there you go. :grin:

[edit] Fuck that, I'm not saying any more. This thread is contagious.

For all that money spent on drinks you could get a decent class prostitute.  :awesome_for_real:

Fuck, all that time spent typing that and I could have found and banged two chicks in that time. 

1.  Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
2.  Sex isn't all it's cracked up to be. 
3.  You're putting forth too much effort. 

1.  Go internet dating.  I know 4 couples so far that have met and married through those services.  The first one doesn't have to last. 
2.  Join a book club or something.

Oh god, LA clubbing. That shit nearly turned me off of nightlife forever. It's been a couple years, and I've heard from friends there that most of my favorite venues have shut down, so I can't offer any tips. Personally I preferred the west side more, since I lived near the 3rd Street Promenade and could hit Venice/Santa Monica bars without having to spring for a cab home.

Also, less of the Hollywood tourists and trend bullshit.

It's all well and good telling him that, but when you're a 27 year old virgin you have zero chance of not sending out "NEED SEX BAD" vibes, which is certified chick repellant.

My question is how desperate are you to finally yodel in the valley?  You have a couple of options.

1)  Go to Craigslist and set up a "date".  Be cautious, though.  The last thing you need is some pimp robbing you.
2)  Hit a rub & tug.  While not truly losing your virginity you will have the vital experience of a crying asian woman handling your junk.
3)  Lower your standards.  A lot.  Trust me, I've been with girls who I was truly, deeply ashamed of having slept with.  This is something every guy needs to do at least once in their lives.  And it'll make for a good story.  Don't go to bars for this.  See that chunky girl with the bad complexion working the register at the 7-11?  Yeah, tell her you're dying to take her out to dinner.  At dinner, drink.  A lot.

Well, that explains a bit.

Anyway...

Lorekeep, I think the major problem is that you are attempting to hook up in LA by going to bars.  Perhaps you should take some night classes that interest you or pick up a hobby that requires you to directly interact with real people on, at least, a weekly basis.  

Also, never go in to a strip club expecting sex.  That is not what they are there for.

This and this again. Liquor and bars are never a substitute for being an interesting person leading an interesting life. (See, for example: Musicians. Right, Sky?  :grin:)

The real difference is this: are you looking to find a date or a fuck? The latter you can find in an LA bar, influenced by a wide variety of factors. A large one is Big Gulp's #3 above. The former, listen to Oban.

Seriously, though, the biggest thing you need to get over is your fear of rejection.  That's the difference between guys who get laid and guys who don't.

Honestly, what's the worst that can happen?  They laugh at you and say no?  Fuck 'em, try again.  Soon, in fact.  Make it a game!  How many times can I get rejected?  I'm not saying this to be snarky, I'm telling you to actually do this.  The sooner you build up a "rejection callous" the better.  It'll make you more relaxed and that'll help immeasurably with interacting with women.  The most powerful aphrodisiac in the world besides money is a general air of nonchalance and not giving a shit.

I really don't think women could handle it if they had to handle the amount of rejection men take as a matter of course.  Their egos would be destroyed by it.

You aren't unhappy because you haven't been laid, you are unhappy because you are unhappy.  Sex isn't that big a deal, work on being happy and join a dating website, learn to cope with your fear of rejection by being rejected lots.  Also don't fall in love with the first person you sleep with or your followup post might be longer.

Edit
That's the secret to dating right there.

Oh, and drop the yellow fever.  It's fucking creepy and asian girls can sense it like sharks smell blood.

Entirely in agreement. I was just going to type the same thing. I think it's something a lot of guys do, guys experienced more experienced than Lorekeep too.. but in your case Lorekeep, you just need to fast forward to some mindstate where you're more comfortable with yourself, as if you've learned some things already.. and take some steps from there.

After reading over again, you probably could have hung around that blonde longer. I mean, just going by how you described it. I wouldn't have let her go so easily. Sounded like she was digging you, man. Either way, good luck if you see her again.

I wish I could give you advice on how to get to this better "mindstate", but I can't. I'll just say that nothing truly falls into your lap. Even a forward woman. You've gotta be more into it. Women can be insecure as well. Never forget that. [edit] Honestly, just to be crude about it - I can't think of any women - not in a long time at least - who weren't entirely comfortable with me until I told them, verbally or otherwise, how much I wanted to fuck their brains out. Again, just to be crude. Replace "fuck their brains out" with "have a clear liking for". To hell with all "pickup" advice any more complicated than that. One clear affirmative shrouded in some cool, but not totally off-putting negatives. Pretty simple.

Also:

If you go looking for it, you'll never find it. 
Stop looking for it but continue to be social, and it will find you. 

/facepalm

Dude, you May be overthinking all this. Just a bit.

Like someone said above, open your standards up. A lot. Even moreso if you're just looking for action, rather than a relationship. Which are you looking for? I'm sure others here can tell you if you're on the right track.


But, at least you seem to be enjoying yourself at bars and such. That's more than I can do; Stick me in a bar or club for 20 minutes, and I'll start looking for excuses to leave. Though it's probably because I don't have any fun drinking.

Crap, I have nothing to say.  I  can't even begin to relate.  Um.. good luck.

Oh, I can relate. And it fucking sucks. I got all that heavy drinking and club stuff out of my system by the time I was 20.

Maybe join a gym? Not like that Ballys nonsense, but a nice, laid-back gym?

I don't think this can be emphasized enough.  You also need to get a handle on your real self image.  For instance, I'm a dude in my mid 30's who looks like tattooed white trash.  I'm fairly barrel chested and big up top, but I have no ass and chicken legs.  I also have a partial upper denture from A) A severe lack of childhood dentistry, and B) fights.  These are my deficits, but I can still get past it.  In fact, working in a tattoo shop, I do quite well for myself actually.  But I'm not trying to pull sophisticated, rich, supermodels.  I'm more than satisfied with freaky tattoo chicks who have a little bit of trailer park in them.

From your own self descriptions, I'd say you're a fat nerd who at 27 has yet to have sex.  And you also sound like you have a tendency to try to fit everything into a pattern and think things out.  The first can be worked around, because those are only physical attributes.  The second set of tendencies you have need to be gotten rid of ASAP.  You're not going to hook up with a Japanese girl who happens to like virginal, overweight, anime-obessed nerds.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Don't try to run before you've even crawled.

ETA:  In summation, my advice would be as follows:

1) Get a grip on what your real strengths and weaknesses are.

2) Cast a wide net and work on getting rejected a lot.  Make it your goal to ask out 5 girls a day, whether you want to or not.  Doesn't matter where you meet them.  Gas stations, restaurants, bookstores, Starbucks, whatever.  Abandon the bar effort, because unless you've got a group of friends or at least a wingman, you look like that lonely guy at the bar desperately trying to score.  Not an image to cultivate.

3) Ditch whatever fantasies you've built up in your head over the years of furious masturbation you've engaged in.  Your goal is REAL WOMEN, not porn fantasies.

This. I probably have a lot of the same problems as you; you just need to put the work in to get past some of your shortcomings. I know sure as shit that I am far from perfect;(among other things) I'm not tall, not particularly good looking, and have a terribly pedantic speech pattern. But, I like to think I'm not a terrible person.

As someone was lecturing me the other day, you need to build a bridge to where you want to go. A bridge of "decent bitches" to get you to "hot bitches who want to bang you." At least this is how it was explained to me. Nothing new, but I thought it was funny, and it's also a good bit of advice. Right now there is a large gap between where you are, and where you want to be.

Do as I say, not as I do: get to building some bridges.

Yeah, most of the cool college girls here work out at a gym called Porky's instead of the big name ones.

May the Force be with you.

I really don't think you do. Maybe Japanese-American, but I don't think you want to have to deal with a Japanese girl. You don't own the "I want to date a Japanese girl" kanji shirt? Do you? I think I'd have to beat you up if you did.

I, for one, grew up feeling like a literal freak of nature, having manic-depressive like episodes when I was like 9 and shit, and I've still got some confusing racial identity issues floating in my head... But as time went by, I discovered that being a mongrel has it's benefits. I mean, a lot of dudes dig half Asian chicks - just one look at this at site alone and it's obvious. It's the same in reverse as well. To top it off, I'm tall @ 6'4".. Something I also hated while growing up. These were always my flaws actually, and now they're pluses, and that's my own self-image mindfuck. :awesome_for_real:

Personally, I think looks are overrated as hell, and if anyone feels like indulging, I'll explain more.. but I'll just end here with agreeing once again with what you said.

Agree.  This is less of an issue if you are actually IN Japan, but in America every female Asian friend I'd ever had could smell that type from a mile away.  Maybe you can catch an FOB, but Americanized ones will avoid you like the plague.  Don't limit yourself to one race, my friend  :oh_i_see:

Also, when did this website turn into this? 

I blame Hyu.

Hang out and debate?  :uhrr:

I'm going to wager that the woman was annoyed by politics talk and that the number was fake.

Also since when are antisocial people all sad about not having friends? I spent Valentine's Day drinking scotch and watching Young Frankenstein but you don't see me complaining about it.

Bingo.  I get the feeling from the OP alone that Lore is like a lot of smart but socially retarded people; he's trying way too hard to strike up a conversation.  Consequently he probably just talks too goddamned much out of an attempt to make a good impression, and to show how charming/interesting he is.  Women don't want to hear you talk about you.  They want to hear them talk about them.  The best thing you can do is find a good way to let them do that.  If you can fake sincerity you've got it made here.

Edit:  Oh, and women don't like to debate.  Debate is inherently combative and most women don't get off on that.  Women like commiseration, they like to feel like you share a connection with them.  Most women aren't looking for someone who they can match wits with, they're looking for someone they can unload on.  If you can do so without sounding obsequious, agree with them on pretty much everything, maintain eye contact and try to behave as though what they were saying is the most interesting thing in the world even when it's banal, dull, prissy bullshit.

The watchword here is manipulation.  Yeah, I know that sounds dirty and sociopathic.  Like you're pretending to be someone you're not.  You are.  Get over it.

Maybe you should try out for the next season of The Pickup Artist.

If you lived anywhere close to where I do, I'd be willing to help you find a girl. College is a cesspool of girls with low self esteem.

Psycho.


And, don't try so hard.

Just drive up to Lyon County, NV and pop your cherry for a few hundred bucks.

Aww shucks, man. Just try to help the brother out. I'm sure if things didn't go so well for anyone, they'd be trying too hard by 27 too. It's gotta be frustrating.

Hell, I'm a 27 year old virgin and some of the stuff you're saying doesn't come across as sex talk. It comes across as unhappiness talk (i think someone else mentioned this). Sure, we all have insecurities, but the point remains that you have to like yourself first.

Anyway, good luck in your conquests. Don't expect getting laid to solve everything though. Stay away from hookers please. That's a line you don't want to cross.

Also, and in all respect, you have more of a foundation to why you're in the same situation. It's a choice for you. And that's cool. But Lorekeep isn't choosing it.

But then, perhaps he can learn something from you anyhow.

Find a Cougar.   :awesome_for_real:

Cougers need some petting. Which he probably has no clue how to do yet. :oh_i_see:


Damnit, must resist.

Yeah that's true, I suppose. I just want to make sure he doesn't do something silly.

Unless he finds one of those cougars that wants mold him to her whims.

I've never met one of those. They're free spirits. [edit] <- That sounds way more serious than it should be.

Don't listen to these guys :)

I've been in the same position as you, only I was a 24 years old virgin nerd, playing video games and being anti social.

Apparently from what I read, you are liking what you do, exploring bars etc.. and it is fun stuff to do, even if you are alone, like you said you learn stuff that way.
Also you don't seem too desperate about it either, I was way more desperate than you it seems, I pretty much stalked a girl I liked and in the end she rejected me. What I mean by that is, just be cool about it, go explore this beautiful world and you will surely stumble upon someone that will interest you, and that will be interested in you as well. I'd not try playing games, being someone who you are not because in the end it will show. Also keep in mind I'm European so things surely are different over here.

The only thing is maybe you should lower your standard. Good luck, it will come, just keep doing what you do and eventually you'll get laid and probably be disappointed in the end because sex is not the be all of it!

Yeah, double this.  I can attest after living in Japan for a year straight, you don't in fact want to date/hook-up/marry a Japanese chick.  Really, YOU DONT.  There is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig difference between Asian and Asian-American.

I was going to post something here about my first wife versus my second wife, but I will just say that maybe you should try and find an Asian that is fresh off the boat.

Seriously, what the fuck is this ?  This is like the 5th thread of this nature and I'm getting frankly fucked off with them.  Can't we make a 'sad fucking losers' subforum ?

 :uhrr:

Post personal stuff to Politics? :ye_gods:

No.

1. You don't need to read every shiny new thread just because it's there.
2. People asking for advice is most probably better than the umpteenth thread about abortion or global warming in politics or the regular 'all things that are wrong with mmorpgs' feature.
3. Don't be a cunt.

I agree with Ironwood.  This is one of those mini-trends that the mods need to stop in its tracks.  When I am fat or lonely, I don't confide in people here because nobody cares or at worst wants me to die horribly.  Lets all keep it that way.   

I actually enjoying going to jj.am for the animated horrors album.

Words. I don't have any.

I'm essentially reading a 1500 word essay on why someone can't get their weasel greased.

Come on to fuck, some things go beyond fucking empathy.

There's already discussion about music, cooking, photography, decorating, and all kinds of shit. Why not add social issues as well.

It is the people who make the community. Someone gets married, we congratulate them. Someone has a baby, we're happy for them. Someone loses their job, we tell them it's gonna be okay. Someone tries to loose some weight, we cheer for them. Someone has problems, we try to help or at least listen.

Make an e/n subforum, let Ironwood moderate it, everybody wins.

Yeah, I think that people who can't balance a social life with doing what they like to do are weenies. If you want to meet girls, meet girls. Talk to them and don't fucking grill them about shit they don't want to talk about. Also don't post this crap here. Not that people don't care, cause some people obviously do, but some of the negative feedback can be hurtful and the anonymous nature of the interwebs encourages a lot of people to be needlessly cruel. It will only make what you are trying to do harder, not easier.

Not a good idea.  I'm reminded of when Rimmer was on the Samaritans Helpline for a day and had 5 suicides.  The joke being one guy had the wrong number.

Look, I'm not being cruel here.  I'm honestly not, it's just that this kind of whining isn't like being married, or having kids or losing weight or even, God Help Us, having a dream of opening up a doughnut shop.  It's entirely different.

It's about this place not being your own private blog.  Sure, if things come out in a thread (hell, my depression did) then you can chat about it as a derail, why the hell not, but it's NOT good form to post MY Awful Life and How Awful it Is HALP Pls type of thread.

Especially when you're not even asking for advice, really, you just want someone to listen.  There are Professionals out there for that type of thing and I thoroughly reccomend you USE THEM.

I'm going to give the same fucking advice I've given in the other threads, for what it's worth :  THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Life's too short for this crap.


That's NOT US.  Look around, ffs, do you REALLY want advice from these chaps ?  On Purpose ?

 :grin:

On the one hand, this might be the ideal peer group if you want to find people that lost their virginity late as well.

On the other hand, they might have lost their virginity by sheer luck, so what tips can they give?


I'm just saying this because I notice a trend where people ask about advice here about stuff they should ask professionals about. Its disconcerting insofar as one of these days somebody might take the advice given in here. And you fuckers will be in a world of pain when you realize you drove some random internet acquaintance to do a stupid and/or life threatening thing.

Don't get advice on healthcare on a random internet forum.
Don't ask random internet forum people for relationship advice.
Don't ask people who spent their formative years in a MMoG how to get laid.


I like being here and reading everything you write. But taking real life advice given here serious is a recipe for disaster!

I think you should listen to Angry.bob, he seems to possess just the right combination for empathy for your situation and callous disregard for women that will see your life become a success story :awesome_for_real:

Actually empirical data shows that you get laid as soon as you don't desperately need to anymore. All those women throwing themselves at you while you are fresh in a new relationship? They smell the total lack of desperation!  :grin:

I clearly need to master Zen Buddhism and rid myself of desire. Of course I'm doing that as part of the desire but I'm sure all that zen will sort that particular paradox right out. And then I'll get laid Zen style!

Desperation communicates itself. Relax, don't try to get laid, just try to meet people and make friends.

Or drive to Nevada and pay an attractive, hygenic, friendly prostitute. It may give you confidence enough to meet women on your own.

Though I think threads like this need to either go on your own blog, Serious Business, or the fucking Den.

Prophetic.

Congratulations in advance on losing your virginity!  (http://www.forumopolis.com/images/smilies/quagmire.gif)

THIS.


Everything else has been covered.  You might want  to work on developing alcoholism to help with the anxiety  :grin:

Also, what ironwood said. Next thing you know we'll be doing facebook clubs and myspace bulletins and shit.

Oi! F13 Facebook group!  :awesome_for_real:

Get the fuck out.

This a whole bunch, 15 years of my life implores you.  It's tough to spot the crazy with no frame of reference.

I agree with Ironwood.
Fuck I didnt even want to hear about Schild's ass pimple.
I certainly dont give a fuck that there are this many 20+ virgins on this forum.

I dont care how big a nerd you are. Hire a god damn hooker for fucks sake.  :uhrr:

Just as a friendly FYI to the OP:

If you're a 27 year old virgin, the last thing you want to do is troll through bars (in LA no less) trying to get laid. It's like the old saw about a 5 year old toddling off into the woods to hunt bears. If he's very lucky he won't find what he's looking for.

(http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/9473/howtonotfailatlifelm0.png) (http://imageshack.us)

I don't know. Granted, Lorekeep made a long ass, weird thread, but I think you guys are being a bit dramatic. It's harmless. It's also harmless to talk to him. Exactly what advice is anyone giving, that would get him in some kind of trouble, and where we would be in a world of pain? Personally, I'm pretty stumped on how to give the guy much helpful advice, to be honest... My first sexual experiences almost coincided the minute I started dating girls. But I don't think it's a bad idea if someone comes up with something to help him along. It doesn't hurt at least.

Most of the internet consists of this type of confessionary, relationship talk. If you were to ask me, I'd say the need to depersonalize as much as possible, like here, is actually unusual.

This thread has introduced me to the definition "hollaback girl" which has 39 definitions according to Urban Dictionary.

I don't feel I'm a better person for knowing this.

Never listened to Gwen Stefani or what? ???

You know, you can slag Hawking off all you like, but the fucker ran off with his nurse.

Seriously. Just reading the first post, all I could think about was "This sounds like a manual for a serial killer."

You're doing it wrong.

Who?




Yes, of course I know who she is. No, I haven't listened to her.

Enjoy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AU-kAnB24I)

Let it rot your brain.

What a waste of talent.  My god, that's terrible!

So terrible it's probably still in your head?

She's full of catchy songs.. unfortunately. :grin:

I must admit, it is the perfect theme for this thread. 

 :ye_gods:

:rimshot:
(There's a special place in hell...)

Hmm? You mean you've actually deciphered the song? You would be the first human being to do so, I think.

Actually, that brings up a good point - at clubs and bars, you'll probably, in all likelihood, only come across hollaback girls. You probably don't want any of that.

Instead, would you like a chick who might be a bit more cerebral, and can actually read above a 5th grade level? Start hanging out at the coffee shop in Barnes and Noble or some shit.

What other advice...um, don't look for dates from work? Or at least in your dept., because if things end badly, the fact that you have to work with the person will exacerbate the situation. I almost fell into this terrible trap last year, and it would have ended up being super terrible.

Stop using alcohol as a crutch - if you need to drink to be "fun" and "social," then there's a problem. A problem that you perhaps need professional help with. And since you said you have a job, you shouldn't have too much trouble getting that sort of help. But the KEY is that you have to Want the help.

PS: that gif was awesome.

Wait, you figured out wtf a hollaback girl is too?


Seriously though, while I think it's lame to go out of your way to change yourself, you shouldn't write off people who like to go to clubs and bars. That's silly. A lot of people merely like to have fun or dance or whatever... Some just meet up with friends at places, because everyone just simply wants to get the fuck out of their houses. Don't write them off because of that. "Cerebral" girls do this too. Not everyone who gets out and parties is "vapid" or whatever typical insult is fashionable around here. Or in other words, the world is not black and white, geek and "vapid". Loosen up and you'll see.


I encourage dating at work too. :) It's a situational thing, I mean.. There shouldn't be wide reaching rules for or against it.

Please note that I prefaced the hell out of that statement. I mean, I spent the better part of a year doing club shit twice a week, but maybe I was doing it wrong. Or maybe it's just Philadelphia. Bitches and ho's, and such.

But really just think about if you want to be getting with a single chick who makes herself available for a bunch of guys to just randomly come up and grind against. Or chicks in bars? lol, almost every good looking chick I know who goes out to bars a lot? Not even single - they just like the free drinks.

Yeah, sometimes that's the case, but to that, I say:  :why_so_serious:. Have fun with it, man. [edit] If it helps, picture yourself as a jolly D&D dwarf in these situations. You are getting drunk with the local wenches. Roll your dice, man. What do you do?  You going to suddenly transform into Raistlin and shit? Don't. :roll: :wink:


Just trying to bridge the gap here, don't mind me.


But anyways, a great deal of people aren't going out every weekend, spending all of their free time doing umm.. non-cerebral things. Sometimes they just need to tune out occasionally. That's all I'm saying.

I like free drinks too.

I think I found the problem.

I take off my wizard robe and hat...

The fuck?  My wife has frequented clubs and bars - and she's not a hollaback girl (I, too, have learnt a new phrase today).  I know a truckload of women who have gone out to a club and/or bar, and they're not all hollaback girls (I would class 1-2 as probably falling into this category).  Saying that the majority of women who go to a club or bar are cheap hos, thats a pretty wrong statement right there.

Most women that I know who go to bars have zero intent on hooking up with anyone. That isn't to say that they haven't figured out the boobs = free drinks equation either, thus leading to many problems.

Alcohol does strange things to women.  But yes the cliche "go to bar meet horny girl" thing doesn't work really.  Seriously if you are intent on just getting laid, there's lots of freaky people on the internet.  Just go look around at some of the "Dating" sites.

Adult Friend Finder.  I'm sure there's plenty of women there who'll love to take some geek's virginity.  Just make sure to bag your junk and see a doctor the next day.  :why_so_serious:

Dudes. OK. I actually know what a hollaback girl is and you're all using it wrong.  :oh_i_see:

Damnit.

Just to clear this up: Her whole theme of the song is aggression and, for lack of a better word, leadership. In cheerleading dances, the cheerleaders chant things, and other girls in the bleachers chant them back - they holla back. And she's only fucking around with the cheerleading theme:

"Y'know someone one time called me a cheerleader, negatively, and I've never been a cheerleader. So I was, like, "OK, fuck you. You want me to be a cheerleader? Well, I will be one then. And I'll rule the whole world, just you watch me."

So she wrote that song, to make the idea of a cheerleader into something positive. Someone with initiative.

Is there somewhere to get info on these sites?  All the ads I've seen have this highly dubious "suspiciously hot chicks in their underwear secretly lust for YOU, random reader of Megaman Sprite Comics!"  which makes me a bit hesitant to click on them...

From Simond on, this thread has gone from :oh_i_see: to :why_so_serious:.

Also, Straz, I love how you're half-right and half-wrong all at the same time. As noted many times, plenty of "regular folks" go to bars and clubs all the time. Just look at the folks who've posted above. I mean, you could secretly harbor a scorching disdain for all of us "vapid" pubcrawlers, sure, but you don't seem to. On the other hand, dead-on about using alcohol as a crutch, you shouldn't need a drink to be a fun person. But also dead-wrong that there's anything wrong with enjoying a few drinks - throwing back a few with friends can be fun all by itself.

To para-parrot Stray yet again, quit stressing, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride that is mixing with your fellow apes.

I'm just going to say to stay from that. I can't truly say what's good for Lorekeep, but I'm just going to take a wild guess and say it's not for Lorekeep. I've never used Adult Friend Finder, but I know what I'm talking about. He isn't ready for freaks. [edit] And I'm not talking about sexual issues or potential diseases per se. It's just that he doesn't need that level of callousness. And it's something he's going to find in most cases that are straight up just about sex. Unless you're nearly out cold and drunk. Then it's OK, I guess!

[edit] Jesus that sounds bad in a certain light.

We should think about denning this thread now; it's the only way to keep it from going over the edge.

I can't say I've used them, but Stray sounds like he has experience.  In my dating days I used IRC and can attest the internet is full of freaks and they're all pretty damn scary.   And mostly fat.

Drinking to make other people more interesting isn't a problem.

Holy fuck, there's a shitload of bad fucking "advice" in this thread.

Hmm, it's just coincidence maybe that your post came right after mine, but I hope I have nothing to do with that. My above post was meant to be benign. I'm just saying that I doubt a 27 year old guy with little experience needs the callousness of a booty call or a deviant at the moment. Unless he's drunk.

I think he's run off anyway.   :ye_gods:

Hopefully because he's with that 30-something blonde having a debate.

No. I haven't been on the computer in 2 days.

I want to say three things:
1. My view of this forum that's evolved over the last year is that it is full of extremely intelligent people or people who have extremely good common sense.
2. You're right about lowering standards: I probably should have withheld the whole Japanese thing just so it wouldn't color your perceptions.
3. I have so far learned a lot of things by going out to bars and exploring the area. I have made some new friends too. As long as I'm being more social, that's an improvement.

Thanks for everyone who commented. I'll avoid "blogging my life" on this forum. But I was trying to insert other commentaries in case any of you are visiting the L.A. area and wanted some ideas. Like Travel Channel but with Sex being the climax of the episode.

Hell I met an ex-girlfriend on Yahoo one night just fucking around in chat out of boredom.

I'd disagree on the fat. Or rather, I know there's a fair share of them, but I don't particularly go for that... therefore I haven't met any. 

I will say something funny though. The ones who are the kinkiest won't advertise it much. It'll be some chick that surprises you with some weird shit. And the ones who do come off the kinkiest actually end up being a little conservative.

Resolved: We should fuck.

?

The fuck ?

Are there Sekrit forums I don't see ?

Your perception of 'the internet' is seriously dated.

If you talk about the 'gamers + mmorpg' part of the internet you might be right, mostly guys. But seriously guys most people under 35 that I know of live on the internet. Girls and Boys alike, geeks and jocks alike. How do you explain the success of things like Facebook?

If all you encounter is mostly creepy guys chances are that:

1. You are one of them
2. You are living in the AV club corner of the internet.

Who are you talking to ?

You're correct, but umm.. who are you talking to? [edit] nevermind ironwood asked heh

Anyways, yeah.. I frequent other message boards - with a higher ratio of women and so called "vapid" people.. they talk about all the same shit too. Besides action figures, I guess. I'm sure some of them would do the same thing and make a divide between themselves and geeks.. but from my perspective, most people are the same. The only truly cool motherfucker I know on the internet is some random dude who seems to be on a permanent road trip, and just uploads pics of his travels, barely saying a word.

You're probably right about the 'mostly fat' thing, Stray.  As I said it was in my dating days, which  ended about 13 years ago now.  So 'in my day...'  *creaky cane waving*

Well, say, on myspace, you could single down weight options in searches. Only, you never really want to check "average". Average is a fatty. There's also "More to love", who are fatties, but they are no different than average. Only average tries to hide it in oddly angled shots - but you know a fatty when you see one. So, you search for slim and athletic. No one has the courage to put those options unless it's the truth.

HAHAHAHAHA

So, wrong.

Heh. Enlighten me then. Average is not good. Just like on proper dating sites, "voluptuous" is not exactly voluptuous.

[edit] I'm also going to add that, in general, most people's idea of "average" is a fatass too. :drill:

[edit] If they're american at least.

Here is my advice.

Don't get advice from the Internets.

Ask every single girl you see/know out. Do it. Shut up. Do it. Stop shivering, do it. It does not matter if it doesn't work out (<----------- Important lesson, don't cry like a bitch, its not the end of the world, i know she touched your junk and you liked it), you will have some good times, and some bad, and you just might find someone for a bit.

Hm. Don't really want to give advice, but I guess I'm one of the more qualified members  :drill:

To echo: Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Women are people, too. There are plenty of horny cool women wanting to have some fun.

Stop going to strip clubs. Seriously. There is no sadder thing than a woman pretending to be your friend and waggling her hoohah in your face because you're shelling out bills. Stop it immediately or seek help.

Start conversations. Be friendly and joke around. Sure, a lot of women will reject you and think you're creepy or whatever. Their problem (unless you're creepy, and strip clubs will lead you down that road quickly). I meet women all the time in the supermarket, at book stores, wherever daily life takes you. But you've gotta put yourself out there. And srsly, the supermarket is THE BEST place to meet decent women. Book store is second.

Don't pick up women at bars, unless you realize it's a hookup. You can't turn a ho into a housewife. But if you want to hookup, finding a woman at a bar might is ok, if you're careful.

Heck, looking at this post, watch some Chris Rock, he's pretty spot-on.

On standards: yes, you probably have to lower them. What is more important though, and maybe the best advice I can give, is to pay attention. Follow up with women who seem interested in you, flash you a smile or respond to your light joking/chatter (important note: NOT at a strip club). While I used to chase a lot of women way out of my league with success, it was always more fun to be with a woman who was seeking me out. And women will rarely say "hey, let's fuck", you have to learn the signs. Increment it forward with a 'hey, you want to grab a coffee?'

And for the love of Odin, stop going to strip clubs. You're learning bad patterns there before you learn good patterns. I can't believe I responded to a hookup advice thread.

This sounds like another situation that black paper, a silver pen and a compulsion to write terrible poetry could resolve.

Yeah, I mean last night I got a Facebook friend request from a girl who uses a porn star as her profile icon. She's GOT TO BE HOT, AMIRITE?!!?!?!?!?

Yes there is.  The guy who says to his friends, "Hey, I think she really likes me. Did you see how she was hang out near me all night!?"

I have to agree with what sky says here, and that is a stretch cause I can't stand that douche.  :drill: But it is true, you don't want to meet women in shady places and strippers are just flat out bad news. Talk to girls, and be sensible. It is completely possible to like the things you like and have a perfectly healthy social life if you just do what you like in moderation. For example I like all kinds of things that many people and even some of the cats here find lame or nerdy. But I don't let that take over my life. You have to enjoy things in moderation. Playing games all freaking day, movies, books, whatever, can seem like too much for some people. What is considered being passionate about something to you is often times considered fanatical to others. Whether they are right or not is not the issue, you just don't want to give off the wrong message needlessly.

And what the the issue with some of you people and the action figure collecting? apparently it is cool if you collect designer toys... :uhrr:  But not cool if you collect joes, or transformers or whatever else... weirdos...    

No, I'm pretty sure they're saying it's not cool to collect 'designer' toys, either.

Oban, you completed the idea perfectly. I knew I was forgetting something, thanks!

I've never been more happy to be in my 40's.  Thank you all for this thread.


Sky nailed it. 

If it makes you happy and nobody is getting hurt, I don't really have a problem with it. I just like busting your balls a bit :)

If you weren't so adorable, no one would tease you! 

I just need to say though that there isn't anything necessarily wrong with strippers. Just strip clubs.  :roll: :wink:

I don't know, I always thought that going out to strip clubs can really mess up a relationship. Some pretty salty crap can go on in those joints. That, and I have have more than a few friends that went to a strip joint and spent a lot of money. It seems like they are just bad news in general. 

There's always speed dating (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJk0FHnmqzA).

There is no reason to go to a strip club, ever.  I can't begin to comprehend why any man would go to one.  

No, I'm not joking.  

They can be fun for bachelor's parties and embarrassing the hell out of your soon-to-shackled friend.

Other than that, the smell of desperation and fear alone is abundant in those places.

I wouldn't disagree with that. My only beef with them is that they're for suckers. Strippers themselves can be OK outside of that. I have taken out more strippers than I've actually been to a strip bar, if you can believe that (it still isn't a lot, but just saying.. that sometimes I don't mind the girls).

Yeah, I guess it's not a very "moral" job, but that doesn't mean that they're too bad themselves. Some are healthy, hard working, drug free, and doing something "normal" the rest of the time. It's the sales aspect of the actual environment that's the least desirable thing for me. The only good thing you can say about strip bars is that the more upscale the one that the girl works at, the less inclined she is to be trouble. The better ones hold them to some standards, just like any other employer. The bad ones are full of girls who jump around, freelance, and who one else really wants around.

I've known a lot of cool strippers, it's greeeat easy money. Beats selling drugs or prostituting. But stick with it too long and there is a definite mental effect, even if you avoid the lifestyle and drugs that abound.

I've been to quite a few strip clubs, never my idea just along for the ride. I've never understood it, really. Hey, pay a shitload of money for a cocktease!

Depending on where in the world you are, strip clubs and their ilk can be mandatory for business.

But... going to a strip club to pick up a girl is just wrong on so many levels.

Alcohol and drugs always worked for me but I seriously wouldn't recommend it - the last woman I chatted up while I was under the influence I ended up marrying.

I just meant that women will check the 'slender' or 'athletic' box even when at their best they got 20 pounds on you.

Only girl I know who lied about slim turned out to be pregnant.

But she was skinny before, I guess.. Got to her just a bit too late. :uhrr:

In Houston they're definately a requirement for much of the business world.  We're number one.  Yay, us.

I've only been in one, but it was perhaps the most uncomfortable social situation I have ever been in.  Thankfully they had some of the best drinks I've ever had, too.  I quickly got to a point I didn't much care what was happening beyond the rim of my glass.

Sounds like you were right on time. You already knew she liked to fuck and it's not like you could get her pregnant.  :awesome_for_real: jk, sort of.

When i lived in Houston I had a friend that went to Houston Baptist University and he had met at least 10-15 strippers that were going there for school.

Same.  Serious.  Read the back half of the Creative Loafing, call a number, lose a Franklin and your virginity.  Easy-peasy.

It's okay as long as they save themselves until marriage...

It's actually pretty common for all the universities around here.  College is expensive and getting worse, and what else can a person still working on a degree do that doesn't sap all their time for school and actually pays enough to support themselves?

I've never understood the appeal of the strip club.  You're paying to be cock teased.  In fact, you're paying A LOT to be cock teased.  I hate to beat a dead hooker, but maybe you should just cut out the middle man and actually pay for it?  Because trust me, even with "free" sex you're still paying for it.

Must not have been in Houston!  Last (and only) one I ever went to was in Houston (I want to say it was Rick's off the gulf freeway or something, right next to a SuperMegaChurch) and... the sadness of *everyone* in there was just pathetic.  I had one drink that ran ~$8 and was watered down as well.  It was amusing that none of the women paid any attention to me at all, but my desperate loser associate who was with me had them all over him.  The women sure needed the lights turned down low from what I could dimly see.

Don't worry, I'm done with strip clubs. For good.

There's only 2 reasons to go to strip clubs: 1) it's somebody's birthday or 2) your home Internet is out.

Store locally.

I think it was Rick's.  Maybe.  It was around ten years ago and someone rented a bus.  I can't say I was paying much attention since I had no intention of coming back (and no ability to care on the way out...).  The only woman to catch my eye was a waitress.  Part of that was because she had my drink.  Partly because she really was the best looking and I like leaving a little to the imagination.

If it was the same place we had a good bartender that night.

Waitresses in strip clubs always look like the best females there because you can not have them.

Damn, I'm away for 2 days and you lot start the best threads ever!

I'll actually comment if I ever manage to read all of the thread, but at 5 pages in 2 days I think your posting is gonna outstrip my reading  :uhrr:

Don't waste your time.  Plus, read more threads.

 :oh_i_see:

No, it's because they've only just started the slide down and haven't started the daily ritual of doing blow all night, puking all day and blowing patrons in the back between sets.

Advice taken tbh. Limiting PC time atm, trying to wean myself off of the internet life. Thread seems to have died anyway :p

This is not a thread. It's a diary. :oh_i_see:

But dead all the same.

Only because everyone wanted it to be.

This thread reminded me of an amusing situation at my job.  I work in a restaurant/bar and there was this semi-regular guy who was most certainly a virgin, in I'd guess to be his mid to late 40s.  He'd always come in alone, tell you everything that was going on in his life, speaking in crisp, perfectly thought out sentences.  A time or two he mentioned a failed attempt to get a number or date or whatever while stressing of how much of a gentleman he had been, and always acted that prim and proper way when interacting with my female co-workers.

OK, now here's where it gets interesting.  We got a new employee that he took a liking to.  She was mid 30s or so and obviously the oldest female in the establishment.  But there was something he didn't know about her.  Here he was, from his innocent perspective, thinking this was a nice lady that he'd like to take out on a date and maybe establish a relationship with.

Oh boy, if I was an evil person, I could have reduced his brain to a pool of smoldering goo.  I was never going to do it, but I toyed with the idea just trying to see some of the possibilities. 

See, this woman was an, honest to god, whore.  She was a former (and from what I hear, now current) prostitute at the Bunny Ranch.  Someone saw her on the HBO show "Cathouse", and after denying it for a bit, she finally fessed up to it. 

Just having that knowledge and seeing the interaction was incredibly amusing. 

I'm failing to see the humour.  It's possible the lady in question would like someone who'd be a gentleman and treat her like a lady (and certainly never call her whore) and that, in return, he would like to lose his virginity and have someone that he can be taught all the lessons he's clearly missing about the other part of life.  He'd probably worship her for it and she'd be glad of the unmarred attention.

Honestly, I hope those two crazy kids get together.  Sounds like a perfect fit.

Prostitutes are people too.

Sounds like a feel-good RomCom waiting to happen.

If they're both good people, you should hook them up.

I concur. Even if he is a virgin, at that age he's probably long given up caring about others previous sexual exploits. However, if she a currently practicing hooker, that's not as advisable.

Or he hasn't and that's a big part of why he's still a virgin.

Or he's also a hooker with a better facade.

It's estimated that at any given time there are 500K women supporting themselves in the US with "Sex Work" (a broad definition that includes everything from phone sex lines to hardcore pornography and back-alley blowjobs), and millions have done it at some point (even if only to "work their way through college").  Unless you know *exactly* how your significant other spent her late teens to early 30's, odds are actually fairly high she's keeping a few skeletons in the closet.

--Dave

Are you suggesting Arnold's significant other is a closet serial killer?

Oh yeah, I left out the part that this woman was absolutely out of her fucking mind and was universally hated.  The customer was a nice guy and I would never have taken action to get him together with her; I wouldn't wish that nutty bitch on anyone.  I just passively observed the interaction and found it amusing.  I did have another customer who would have been perfect for him though, but they were never in at the same time.

Anyway, crazy bitch quit and last I heard, she was back at the ranch.  Haven't seen the guy in quite a while.

JUST STAY A VIRGIN!

All of you.

But how will he learn that when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand?

Salty milk and coins?

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uVSUPK950uU/SF6i-nAII6I/AAAAAAAAAzY/IJ8iW7gnA6U/s400/DSCN3506.JPG)

Or he's just a beta male.  Hell, even beta males get some nookie, so maybe gamma?  Zeta?

I'm sorry, but if you haven't accidentally fallen into some trim by your late 20's or even worse, your 40's you probably need some therapy more than you need sex.  Something is fundamentally flawed in your personality.  And this is coming from someone with a deeply flawed personality, so you're really fucked.

Some people just don't care all that much about sex. Sure, that might be a flaw as well, but a different one.

There are a whole lot more people that haven't had sex by the time they turn 30 than you'd expect. Of course nobody talks about it because people like you turn this into some kind of pathological condition.

There is no other topic about which people lie more, than the number of personal sexual conquests. You might even know some of them without realizing it.

Well, that's just because you're a worthless person if you aren't bouncing from one relationship immediately into another.

I'm not talking about bouncing around.  I'm talking about having bounced at least once.  Come on, how can you even get out of high school without finding one other misfit who'd let you get to at least second base?  To be 30 and never had sex you're either a superstitious religious nutjob or a complete spaz who cannot connect with fellow human beings even on the most superficial of levels.  There's something fundamentally defective about people who have spent half of their lifespans never once having engaged in what is a basic, elemental human experience.

$5 says Big Gulp is trying to show off to hide the fact that he's a virgin.  :oh_i_see:

The cup is compensating.

You're right, it's a baby sippy cup...  My secret shame revealed!   :oops:

Seriously, I'm definitely not some ladies man.  Far from it.  I didn't lose my virginity 'til I was 18, so it's not like I was one of the cool kids in school.  However, I did have a couple of girlfriends and at least engaged in some heavy petting when I was a kid.  I'd seen a boob, for Christ's sake.

How do you get to be in your mid 20's (or God forbid, older than that) and not have engaged in any kind of sexual play?  If you haven't I'd say you've got bigger problems than never having had sex.  At that point you've got psychological issues that need to be addressed, because no matter how physically loathsome you may be there's someone who is willing to put up with your ugly ass.  Talking to a therapist would probably be helpful.

I.... the irony....


:why_so_serious:

I don't know, there's some people who are fine, but who are sexually inexperienced. I think it can be OK. Probably not good for a guy like that to date a former Bunny Ranch milf though. Seriously, that's awful advice.  :grin:

It's actually not nearly as hard as you seem to think it is.

Um yeah, I didn't get laid in high school. I'm sure a lot of others didn't too.

On the other hand, I bet she'd be good at showing him the ropes.  :why_so_serious:

Actually, yeah I take that back. I remember watching an episode where some (very nice) mom took her late blooming dork son there, and got him laid. The bunny ranch chick knew how to make him comfortable. I suppose most prostitutes might actually have a lot of experience there.

I was going for the bondage innuendo, but I guess that works too.

It's just not a priority for some people.  They're not interested in sex for the sake of sex and they, for whatever reason, haven't found someone they click with in other ways so they never got to that point.

Considering the crap I've seen my friends put themselves through for sex, not to mention the results afterwards, I'd say these "lacking" individuals don't necessarily have it so bad.

My issue that was I was dead broke until my mid 20's and couldn't even so much as afford to go out. I didn't get a car and a stable residence with people my age until last year. My previous residence for 4 years was the equivalent of living with my parents (She wasn't my Mom but she might as well have been).

I had no business complicating my life with sex or relations when I couldn't even take care of myself. That's changed now.

QFMFT

I mean, shit, I didn't lose mine until, what...age 21? And the experience ranked pretty high up there on the dysfunctional scale (or coincidental? lucky?), but I digress. The are plenty of reasons why some people have...trouble, in this area. Bashing people over the head with it seems sort of counter-productive. I mean, I could give personal examples, but that seems unnecessary.

I think we should definitely steer away from the whole "lolz omg you sux with wimens" line of conversation - nothing good will come of it.

People have different levels of sex drive. I have a fair to middlin one, was not and still aren't a ladies' man, but I managed to get some along 'societally acceptable timeframes'. On the other hand, I know far more socially gracious people who can navigate the most ackward of social interactions who just didn't care or couldn't be bothered to get laid till far later in life. Considering the unspeakable numbers of psycho lunatics I had to stick my pecker in before I found one that wasn't broken, I can't say the less agressive were 'doing it wrong'.

Sometimes I like to think of sex like this:

Think of sex like a TV (or anything else you are accustomed to having consistently), and yourself like an Amish person.

Most people have grown up with a TV, and are not necessarily used to Not having one. Now, take the Amish person, who I am comparing to someone who either is a virgin into their 20s and such or is very inexperienced. Now give them a TV (sex), and they might like it...now take it away for, oh, a few years. Our Amish person isn't used to having it, so they probably won't miss it much when it's gone.

...Well, the analogy at least makes sense to ME. My attitudes about this stuff drives some of my friends NUTS, but I've found that it's something I'm very good at, even when I'm not even trying.

I probably wouldn't have lose my virginity were it not for alcohol primarily because I really don't like approaching women. No problems socially but the idea of 'making moves' on a woman just makes me feel creepy and the girls who have made it clear that they're interested I'm pretty much never interested in. That said I'm really not desperate about having sex, I can happily live without it and really don't understand this idea that you're socially disfunctional if it's not something you're really keen on getting.

In fairness if you're really desperate to have sex and haven't by your mid-twenties then you probably do have some sort of problem, I'm just not sure how many people that would actually describe. Possibly Big Gulp is assuming most people want to have sex and anyone who hasn't has simply not been able to get it.

To be fair, those problems can vary a LOT from person to person - it might be social, psychological, or just a product of bad circumstances. Or possibly choice, though not neccessarily the express choice to not engage in sexual activity.

And that's why this thread is awesome once more.

Some of us just don't care.  You can go your entire life without it and it won't really matter much (similar to TV honestly).  I still don't see what the big deal is about it and why people trip over everyone and make asses out of themselves for it.

QFT.

I'm 22, and a virgin, and I really could not care less. Even if someone managed to fall into my lap (HUR), I'm not into a one night stand.

I really don't get why people are tripping all over themselves in order to have sex. Enjoy your unwanted children and AIDS.

Because sex is awesome.

Alas, it totally is.

:oh_i_see:

Yeah, I've never had sex  :awesome_for_real:

Luckily for those virgins they don't realize what they miss. Having sex once is way worse than never having sex!  :awesome_for_real:

I am also a virgin again.

Did you have surgery too?

let us not persue that line of questioning plzkthnxbye

Not get taught about condoms in your sex education then?

There is more to sex than just the physical act and no one rational is saying you should have a one night stand and certainly not without protection.

I think getting sex is a lot simpler than most people, who are hung up on it, realize.  Mostly it's just asking, which is probably why other people in this thread tend to think you're dysfunctional if you haven't had sex well into your third decade.  You just have to realize, your partner wants to have sex too.

This is true, especially of the people who lack the confidence to chat up women in high school. They put the pussy on a pedestal.  :drill:


While this is almost always true, the key difference is they may not always want to have sex WITH YOU. For many, it's damned hard to tell if this is true or not.

That's why you gotta ask. If you're having a nice conversation with someone, and they're single, there's a pretty damned good chance you'll get some if you don't put it on a pedestal.

One of my most effective theories when I was younger was that if two single adults are together in a private place, they might as well fuck. Astoundingly effective.

It's much simpler if you go about it my way.  I was always looking for a relationship, that was my priority. It was hard to find but it always lead to sex after I was 15, and petting, etc prior to that. 

It surprises me to hear how many folks were in fact virgins into college (and apparently beyon), seemingly not of their own choosing. Wow.

I read somewhere that there actually has been a lot of abstinence/anxiety due to STD's since the AID's scare, and not all people who refrain are doing it because of beliefs or "psychological" issues. Call it paranoia, but I can kind of understand where Fatuous is coming from (ahem, not really.. but I'm trying).

No, he's just being dumb.

One of the many benefits of growing up in suburbia. 

When I was old enough, I learned about how hotels add to the available number of private places available for a tryst.  Just by asking, "Do you want to get a hotel room?" or "Do you want to go back to my hotel room?" increases the odds of success dramatically.

If you are avoiding sex because you are worried about STDs, buy some condoms. 

Don't ever share a cell in prison.

My social skills were non-existant until my 30s.  I had to work really hard to be able to reach my current point of being marginally sociable around people who aren't good friends.  I kind of stumbled into the few intimate relationships I had by them making the first move, or both of us being drunk enough to get into serious enough play to admit to one another we wanted something deeper.

It's always been the other person who had to make the first move for me to get into a relationship.  Part of that is shyness, but a larger part is that my potential dating pool greatly overlaps with the pool of people I am comfortable with as friends.  While I do view a more intimate relationship as a closer friendship, I get really, really uncomfortable thinking about causing things to become strained with a friend.  My friends are everything to me.  So I end up eliminating all my good possibilities by not even allowing myself to seriously consider such a thing.

Maybe that's messed up.  I dunno.  I don't see any reason to pursue people I don't know though since, well, I don't know them enough to be attracted to them.  My friendships are probably strong enough to get past, "Hey, you interested...?  No?  Okay, that's cool", but I just don't need one badly enough to risk it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRb3u0PtEZE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRb3u0PtEZE)

No, I'm not not having sex because I'm afraid of getting kids/stds, they are just one more thing to add to the negative side of the list. Also, condoms? Not 100%.

I've wondered I'm asexual, I've never really been attracted to anyone specific (male or female). I'm attracted to women in general, but I've never met one I would want to have sex with, have been hit on but didn't realize it till later because I just don't think about it at all.

With all the intelligence around here, some of the perpetually-single and loveless around here (including myself, heh) might be prone to over-analyzing this shit. Also, again - standards. This shit really shouldn't be that complicated.

Personally, I've just had the hardest time meeting people, especially since I left college. And then, when I DID meet people, I ended up being "just friends" with them. At first that was fine, since there were maybe 2 women before college that would even deign to have a conversation with me. But since I left college? lolz


Fuck, this is frustrating to try to talk about without either ranting or rambling. :|

Asexuality is a possibility.  Not one most consider, and many people don't believe it exists.  Who cares as long as you do what's right for you?

It's not hard to talk about without ranting or rambling. Here, I'll help.

I find the fairer sex nearly intolerable. The rare few that I get along with tend to be insane or lesbians. Which I'm cool with because I don't really care about sex. I got that out of my system in high school. Until I get my own shit together, I am an island. I'm pretty happy that way.

Fatuous, don't sweat it. As for the asexuality thing, honestly, I'm borderline. So don't feel bad. The feeling to reproduce does NOT exist in me. I do not want children, I do not like children, and I have no interest in having to support children. Should I ever end up in a situation where a child even gets brought up as a possibility, I will demand adoption. Not just because I was adopted, but rather I've no interest in causing intense physical harm to said woman. Seriously, don't sweat it. Sex is absolutely, in every way, overrated.

Heh, funny it should come up, because I've jokingly been called asexual before as well.

Oh, and pretty much agree with what schild said...except the whole island thing. I wouldn't be Opposed to a relationship, but I just don't meet people anymore it seems.


And one last thing, please Please don't do a one-night-stand sort of thing. Essentially, that's what mine was, and every time the episode pops into my mind, I just cannot help thinking, "Yeah, she was hot, but...Why did I even bother?" It was incredibly unfulfilling. So at best, you won't feel any different, at worst you'll regret it.

You are so completely full of shit that I can smell it from here.

You're a virgin because you're socially retarded and terrified of rejection.  At least be honest with yourself, and don't try to justify your virginity with STD's and "asexuality".

Wait.  I'm not a lesbian!   :ye_gods:

Why are you trying to be fulfilled?  What did you expect?  An indian to pop up from the headboard and lead you on your own little vision quest?

YOU ARE A GUY.  You are fully capable of having sex with someone whom you don't give a shit about.  Hell, I've had sex with people I really hated.  Good sex, at that.  "Fulfillment" has nothing to do with getting your rocks off.  It's bullshit support group jargon best left on Dr. Phil.

Holy Crap...

Y'all are some of the most intelligent folks I've ever had the pleasure of lurking(verb)...

But generally you just don't have a clue. And I mean that in the best possible, nerd love way.

Be who you are, find someone that that works for, and see where you both want to go from there.

Sex for sex's sake tends to be shallow, unrewarding and full of regrets on both sides of the Great Divide.

Sex with someone, that by the grace of the godz, you connect with is above and beyond an epiphany.

But don't think of it as the end-all-be-all...because what you can do for yourself can be WAY better than the compromises involved in sharing your body and soul with another person.

That's up to you.

Yes, I am aware that I am physically capable of the act. And being my first time - lol, I had no idea wtf to expect. The fact that it happened at all was unexpected. Maybe fulfilled was not the right word. Satisfied, maybe? Mentally, I just was maybe half there; almost felt like I was simply going through the motions.

EDIT: Point, this stuff is different for everyone.

Or maybe it was that damned crazy Italian condom, who knows. Or fatigue.

Negative space. Neat. It makes it more serious.






















































Can I do it too?

First time? To beat the 2 minute mark   :why_so_serious:

lolz, that Really was not the problem...Maybe I got bored? :oh_i_see:

When Strazos talks about sex, I get uncomfortable. It's like a bear talking about rocket science.

If the "negative space" comment was directed at me, I apologize. Not quite sure how that got there. I'll go back to lurking now... :why_so_serious:

I don't know which applies to me.  The uncertainty is unbearable!

I'm overall pretty sympathetic to your situation. But those are all excuses, and not especially good ones, either.


Now some advice. Late, as it is. \

Lower your standards is correct. You're not going to get a 6' tall supermodel who is also a brain surgeon. Especially if you take a realistic look at yourself, which by your first post you seem to have, in part.
If losing your virginity is a major thing, moreso than starting a relationship, then drive to Nevada and take care of it.
Same deal with wanting to bang an Asian or Japanese chick.

You're 27, so you're past the university/college girl time.

If there are women where you work, and people from work go out for casual drinks now and then (as a mixed male/female crowd) then go out as well as a social thing, not to pick up on the people from work, but they may have other female friends and other social aquaintances you'll meet. You want to meet friends of friends of workmates of friends of friends in casual situations where you can just be yourself, relaxed, not drunk and not smelling of deperation. Barbeques, social events of all types, etc.

You could always just try Heroin.  I have it on good authority from several sources that it is much much much better than sex.

Eh, fuck it, not worth it and I don't want to derail this into argument.

Yeah, but you're cheating.  I'm sure you've heard the one that involves driving a U-Haul for a second date?

--Dave

No, but somehow I don't think I want to.

(Also, though I'm trying hard to avoid going too far into personal details [I have no qualms talking about my sex life, but this isn't the place], let's just say I've done enough to not 'cheat'.)

Don't read if fairly vanilla lesbian jokes will offend you.
I don't mean "cheat" as in infidelity or having a "committed" relationship and something on the side.  I mean "cheat" as in playing the game of negotiating the gaps of commitment between acquaintance, sex, intimacy, and relationships as a lesbian is playing tennis without the net.

--Dave

OMG, last summer I hooked up with a bartender at my favored drinking spot.  I HATED that girl.  I hated everything about her.  I was there when the bar manager interviewed her at the table behind me and after she left, I told the bar manager, "I will kill you if you hire her!"

But wtf, I got drunk one night and started thinking, "You know, she's got a nice ass.  I think I'm gonna try to take her home tonight."  We had a really fun time and she spent the night.   Kind of funny how that worked out because I would have never ever considered that thing a possibility.  But I was kind of pissed when I picked up my jeans from the side of the bead, after she left, and found out she had puked on them!  Bitch.

I require a Den button.

I know what you meant. :-)

I have heard the U-Haul joke now that I think about it.  It's been a while.

I don't get it. Am I missing a pun or something? :|

Give it a rest.

Stop reading the thread.

In lesbian culture it's a running joke that they fall in love extremely fast and move in within a few dates.  While not always true, quite a few I know all fit the profile and we like to joke about it (they even admit it).

The converse joke is :

What do gay guys do on a second date?

What ?  And Miss all the useful advice ?

What?  You don't find discussions about lesbian dating helpful? :drillf:

So you're drawn to it, yet can't stop bitching about it?

ho hum.

I like this thread because even though in the normal world I'm slightly shy and much, much less experienced in these matters than all the "normal" people I know, in here I feel (relatively) like Hugh Hefner banging three models at once.  Carry on. 

You should read more about what Hugh Hefner is really like. According to some his issues would put most people here to shame.

I think it's awesome that you are going out to experience the nightlife of LA. Maybe you could write a guidebook.

You seem to have a plan. I think enough people here have commented on it.

What are you looking to get out of this?

"Mr. Happy"

Win. You should have pissed on her cat.

Edit: waste of time.  I still want to kick you in the teeth every time you post something like this.

He's a unique marketer, that's all I know. All kinds of magazines sell a lifestyle, but he was the first to make himself the image of that lifestyle. And I guess, eventually and actually become it.

Banging three models at once is overrated. But you should definitely find out for yourself!

I think Tri meant this:

(http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/2/4012/3041/22529020029_large.jpg)

Butt...

Butt..then you'd have to take them out of the box!  :ye_gods:

What what?

Yeah. I'm very tired and not functioning well is my only excuse. I'm home with a son who has an ear infection and pinkeye.  Daycares are wonderful germ incubators.

I'll see your sick kid and raise you my 6 year old with pink eye, the flu and strep throat.  My wife and I have been tag teaming sick days this week just to keep up with the medications. 

How has this not made it to the Den yet?

I think once threads go past 5 pages it takes an Act of Congress to get them denned.

How did I miss this thread until now?  :uhrr:

It seems to me that this thread is awfully short on advice to treat women like equally functioning human beings. Which, like, you know, they are. I guarantee that long-term this "not dismissing the woman herself as an inconvenient accompaniment to sex" approach will result in generally more happiness for all.

Cause it's easier to just have one soc.singles thread where everybody can post into instead of people constantly starting their own threads.

Edit: fixed quoting

Wow, I am still surprised every time I see that this thread is updated. Awful, awful idea...

I don't know if this applies to any of you, but a really common reason for the lack of adventures with the opposite sex (or same if that's your thing) with my friends is work. Many people I studied with in university are really devoted to their work. Every weekday is basically the same, wake up, go to work, come home really late (after something like 10 or 12 hours). Weekends usually consist of going to a restaurant with friends and eating dinner, maybe watching a movie or cooking at someone's home. Many of the folks have started their own company, which makes it even easier to spend "too much" time at the office. Life has kinda settled in a way where meeting new people is not very common. Yes, people still throw parties and what not, but it's mostly the same faces in all of them.

Now we've talked about this with my friends several times, is work the reason people don't have so much luck with getting girlfriends or is it just an easy escape? Just bury yourself in work and you don't have to think about the thing. The thing we all agree on is that it is very easy to lose yourself in work.

It's an excuse. You see valid candidates every single day, but you'll never know unless you have the will to find out. Go to the supermarket or library or something once in a while.

Or maybe they just don't care?  No matter what people here like to brag about, I would never strike up a conversation with some random stranger at the grocery store or a library.  Especially not for any remote purpose such as dating.  I go shopping all of the time and most people have kids in tow or are with their significant others, the last thing they want is some clueless moron like me talking to them.

That'd be because you're ugly, as we've already discussed.
On top of that, as many here have already said, if you don't try, you'll never find them. Finding a date and self-esteem are, at times, at odds.

Yeah... at the grocery store.  Right next to the celery and lettuce.

No, no.  Obviously you should be striking up conversations with the ones loitering around the cucumbers and zucchini.

I'm particularly fond of the frozen dinner section.

Here's a Mr. Happy for a select group of our readers.  (Larger pic for your enjoyment through the link.)

(http://iria.chem.uh.edu/f13/persia_jake.jpg) (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/07/jake-gyllenhaal-shirtless_n_172788.html)

Yeah, see.. that's a problem right there. You don't talk to the ones with kids, rings or S.O.s if you're looking for a date.   Get the basics right first, yo.

But excuses and rationalization are so damn easy.

Please don't. :oops:

I find Sky's advice the most amusing in this whole mess. Aging rockers give the best sex advice. It would never apply to the normal nerd, but it does have gems of wisdom.

It needs to be said again.  WOMEN ARE PEOPLE.

Jeezus, your not going to bend the girl over and poke around in her produce section in the middle of the grocery store, you are trying to make a friend that you share MUTUAL attraction with.  Remember that term, friendship?  Friends?  Get it, shes a person?

How did you meet all your guy friends?  You started talking to them somewhere at sometime didn't you?  Talk to the girl and if it turns out that she's funny and interesting and attractive, someone you can enjoy being with then, hang out with her more often.  And, YES, you have to let her know you think she is attractive.

Guess what?  You are going to have to make friends with several women before finding one that's, not only available, but interested in you too.  The cute girl with the small child?   Go talk to her.  The child is her niece.

Are you drunk?

Not as much as you are.

HEY WHAT WHO SONOFA

So what?  :why_so_serious: :drill:

 :hello_thar:

 :awesome_for_real:

So, it's like getting drunk, but without the buzz?

Maybe not.  I think the "clueless moron" thing is the biggest deal - a shyness or self esteem issue.  A wingman can be a huge help here, to break the ice.

I dunno.. Whatever makes you comfortable, I guess. Just don't be too comfortable doing things that work against you (whatever those may be....). Things that make you secretly kick yourself afterwards for not even trying. Don't justify your proclivity to be a pussy in the name of "character" or whatnot. As if that's how you're predetermined to be completely.

Nothing wrong with shyness, I think.. Nor do I think anyone needs to overly transform themselves and do things totally out of character.. but leave some room for improvement at least. Shit. Not even wanting to talk to a stranger at all, as a rule, is stupid.

Counterpoint: Don't talk to strangers, 'cause they're only there to do you harm.

The OP post reminded me of 'In The Miso Soup'. Which is about a nutjob crazy American who goes around killing people in the sex destrict of Tokyo. Good book, but you sure as hell don't want to end up like that.

But you got abs dude! You'll be OK.  :grin:

If you have abs, you don't have to talk to strangers.  Strangers talk to you.  Or something.

When I go to the beach I wear my Grimace outfit because I want people to like me for what's on the inside. You know, a soulless void.  :awesome_for_real:

Anyway it was Dio lyrics. Come on people! Get with the times!

???  :wink:

Cant believe this thread has gone 9 pages without anyone pointing out that Mr Happy is down here


(http://www.penguin.com.au/covers-jpg/9781846462726.jpg)

Yes, because we needed pants to be down with showing us Mr. Happy.

(http://tmideast.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/facepalm2ly3.jpg)

I laughed, but I sort of hate myself for it.