The Pursuit of Mr. Happy

[Lantyssa]

When i lived in Houston I had a friend that went to Houston Baptist University and he had met at least 10-15 strippers that were going there for school.

It's okay as long as they save themselves until marriage...

It's actually pretty common for all the universities around here.  College is expensive and getting worse, and what else can a person still working on a degree do that doesn't sap all their time for school and actually pays enough to support themselves?

[Big Gulp]

I don't know, I always thought that going out to strip clubs can really mess up a relationship. Some pretty salty crap can go on in those joints. That, and I have have more than a few friends that went to a strip joint and spent a lot of money. It seems like they are just bad news in general. 

I've never understood the appeal of the strip club.  You're paying to be cock teased.  In fact, you're paying A LOT to be cock teased.  I hate to beat a dead hooker, but maybe you should just cut out the middle man and actually pay for it?  Because trust me, even with "free" sex you're still paying for it.

[Selby]

I've only been in one, but it was perhaps the most uncomfortable social situation I have ever been in.  Thankfully they had some of the best drinks I've ever had, too.

Must not have been in Houston!  Last (and only) one I ever went to was in Houston (I want to say it was Rick's off the gulf freeway or something, right next to a SuperMegaChurch) and... the sadness of *everyone* in there was just pathetic.  I had one drink that ran ~$8 and was watered down as well.  It was amusing that none of the women paid any attention to me at all, but my desperate loser associate who was with me had them all over him.  The women sure needed the lights turned down low from what I could dimly see.

[LK]

Don't worry, I'm done with strip clubs. For good.

[HaemishM]

There's only 2 reasons to go to strip clubs: 1) it's somebody's birthday or 2) your home Internet is out.

[Oban]

There's only 2 reasons to go to strip clubs: 1) it's somebody's birthday or 2) your home Internet is out.

Store locally.

[Lantyssa]

Must not have been in Houston!  Last (and only) one I ever went to was in Houston (I want to say it was Rick's off the gulf freeway or something, right next to a SuperMegaChurch) and... the sadness of *everyone* in there was just pathetic.  I had one drink that ran ~$8 and was watered down as well.  It was amusing that none of the women paid any attention to me at all, but my desperate loser associate who was with me had them all over him.  The women sure needed the lights turned down low from what I could dimly see.

I think it was Rick's.  Maybe.  It was around ten years ago and someone rented a bus.  I can't say I was paying much attention since I had no intention of coming back (and no ability to care on the way out...).  The only woman to catch my eye was a waitress.  Part of that was because she had my drink.  Partly because she really was the best looking and I like leaving a little to the imagination.

If it was the same place we had a good bartender that night.

[Oban]

Waitresses in strip clubs always look like the best females there because you can not have them.

[apocrypha]

Damn, I'm away for 2 days and you lot start the best threads ever!

I'll actually comment if I ever manage to read all of the thread, but at 5 pages in 2 days I think your posting is gonna outstrip my reading 

[Ironwood]

Don't waste your time.  Plus, read more threads.

 

[Murgos]

Waitresses in strip clubs always look like the best females there because you can not have them.

No, it's because they've only just started the slide down and haven't started the daily ritual of doing blow all night, puking all day and blowing patrons in the back between sets.

[apocrypha]

Don't waste your time.  Plus, read more threads.

 

Advice taken tbh. Limiting PC time atm, trying to wean myself off of the internet life. Thread seems to have died anyway :p

[stray]

This is not a thread. It's a diary.

But dead all the same.

[LK]

Only because everyone wanted it to be.

[Arnold]

This thread reminded me of an amusing situation at my job.  I work in a restaurant/bar and there was this semi-regular guy who was most certainly a virgin, in I'd guess to be his mid to late 40s.  He'd always come in alone, tell you everything that was going on in his life, speaking in crisp, perfectly thought out sentences.  A time or two he mentioned a failed attempt to get a number or date or whatever while stressing of how much of a gentleman he had been, and always acted that prim and proper way when interacting with my female co-workers.

OK, now here's where it gets interesting.  We got a new employee that he took a liking to.  She was mid 30s or so and obviously the oldest female in the establishment.  But there was something he didn't know about her.  Here he was, from his innocent perspective, thinking this was a nice lady that he'd like to take out on a date and maybe establish a relationship with.

Oh boy, if I was an evil person, I could have reduced his brain to a pool of smoldering goo.  I was never going to do it, but I toyed with the idea just trying to see some of the possibilities. 

See, this woman was an, honest to god, whore.  She was a former (and from what I hear, now current) prostitute at the Bunny Ranch.  Someone saw her on the HBO show "Cathouse", and after denying it for a bit, she finally fessed up to it. 

Just having that knowledge and seeing the interaction was incredibly amusing. 

[Ironwood]

I'm failing to see the humour.  It's possible the lady in question would like someone who'd be a gentleman and treat her like a lady (and certainly never call her whore) and that, in return, he would like to lose his virginity and have someone that he can be taught all the lessons he's clearly missing about the other part of life.  He'd probably worship her for it and she'd be glad of the unmarred attention.

Honestly, I hope those two crazy kids get together.  Sounds like a perfect fit.

[Oban]

Prostitutes are people too.

[IainC]

This thread reminded me of an amusing situation at my job.  I work in a restaurant/bar and there was this semi-regular guy who was most certainly a virgin, in I'd guess to be his mid to late 40s.  He'd always come in alone, tell you everything that was going on in his life, speaking in crisp, perfectly thought out sentences.  A time or two he mentioned a failed attempt to get a number or date or whatever while stressing of how much of a gentleman he had been, and always acted that prim and proper way when interacting with my female co-workers.

OK, now here's where it gets interesting.  We got a new employee that he took a liking to.  She was mid 30s or so and obviously the oldest female in the establishment.  But there was something he didn't know about her.  Here he was, from his innocent perspective, thinking this was a nice lady that he'd like to take out on a date and maybe establish a relationship with.

Oh boy, if I was an evil person, I could have reduced his brain to a pool of smoldering goo.  I was never going to do it, but I toyed with the idea just trying to see some of the possibilities. 

See, this woman was an, honest to god, whore.  She was a former (and from what I hear, now current) prostitute at the Bunny Ranch.  Someone saw her on the HBO show "Cathouse", and after denying it for a bit, she finally fessed up to it. 

Just having that knowledge and seeing the interaction was incredibly amusing. 

Sounds like a feel-good RomCom waiting to happen.

[Lantyssa]

If they're both good people, you should hook them up.

[Paelos]

If they're both good people, you should hook them up.

I concur. Even if he is a virgin, at that age he's probably long given up caring about others previous sexual exploits. However, if she a currently practicing hooker, that's not as advisable.

[Samwise]

Even if he is a virgin, at that age he's probably long given up caring about others previous sexual exploits.

Or he hasn't and that's a big part of why he's still a virgin.

[Paelos]

Even if he is a virgin, at that age he's probably long given up caring about others previous sexual exploits.

Or he hasn't and that's a big part of why he's still a virgin.

Or he's also a hooker with a better facade.

[MahrinSkel]

It's estimated that at any given time there are 500K women supporting themselves in the US with "Sex Work" (a broad definition that includes everything from phone sex lines to hardcore pornography and back-alley blowjobs), and millions have done it at some point (even if only to "work their way through college").  Unless you know *exactly* how your significant other spent her late teens to early 30's, odds are actually fairly high she's keeping a few skeletons in the closet.

--Dave

[NowhereMan]

It's estimated that at any given time there are 500K women supporting themselves in the US with "Sex Work" (a broad definition that includes everything from phone sex lines to hardcore pornography and back-alley blowjobs), and millions have done it at some point (even if only to "work their way through college").  Unless you know *exactly* how your significant other spent her late teens to early 30's, odds are actually fairly high she's keeping a few skeletons in the closet.

Are you suggesting Arnold's significant other is a closet serial killer?

[Arnold]

I'm failing to see the humour.  It's possible the lady in question would like someone who'd be a gentleman and treat her like a lady (and certainly never call her whore) and that, in return, he would like to lose his virginity and have someone that he can be taught all the lessons he's clearly missing about the other part of life.  He'd probably worship her for it and she'd be glad of the unmarred attention.

Honestly, I hope those two crazy kids get together.  Sounds like a perfect fit.

Oh yeah, I left out the part that this woman was absolutely out of her fucking mind and was universally hated.  The customer was a nice guy and I would never have taken action to get him together with her; I wouldn't wish that nutty bitch on anyone.  I just passively observed the interaction and found it amusing.  I did have another customer who would have been perfect for him though, but they were never in at the same time.

Anyway, crazy bitch quit and last I heard, she was back at the ranch.  Haven't seen the guy in quite a while.

[Signe]

JUST STAY A VIRGIN!

All of you.

[Oban]

JUST STAY A VIRGIN!

But how will he learn that when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand?

[Sky]

Salty milk and coins?

[Big Gulp]

Even if he is a virgin, at that age he's probably long given up caring about others previous sexual exploits.

Or he hasn't and that's a big part of why he's still a virgin.

Or he's just a beta male.  Hell, even beta males get some nookie, so maybe gamma?  Zeta?

I'm sorry, but if you haven't accidentally fallen into some trim by your late 20's or even worse, your 40's you probably need some therapy more than you need sex.  Something is fundamentally flawed in your personality.  And this is coming from someone with a deeply flawed personality, so you're really fucked.

[Tebonas]

Some people just don't care all that much about sex. Sure, that might be a flaw as well, but a different one.

[Jeff Kelly]

I'm sorry, but if you haven't accidentally fallen into some trim by your late 20's or even worse, your 40's you probably need some therapy more than you need sex.  Something is fundamentally flawed in your personality.  And this is coming from someone with a deeply flawed personality, so you're really fucked.

There are a whole lot more people that haven't had sex by the time they turn 30 than you'd expect. Of course nobody talks about it because people like you turn this into some kind of pathological condition.

There is no other topic about which people lie more, than the number of personal sexual conquests. You might even know some of them without realizing it.

[bhodi]

Well, that's just because you're a worthless person if you aren't bouncing from one relationship immediately into another.

[Big Gulp]

Well, that's just because you're a worthless person if you aren't bouncing from one relationship immediately into another.

I'm not talking about bouncing around.  I'm talking about having bounced at least once.  Come on, how can you even get out of high school without finding one other misfit who'd let you get to at least second base?  To be 30 and never had sex you're either a superstitious religious nutjob or a complete spaz who cannot connect with fellow human beings even on the most superficial of levels.  There's something fundamentally defective about people who have spent half of their lifespans never once having engaged in what is a basic, elemental human experience.

[Hindenburg]

$5 says Big Gulp is trying to show off to hide the fact that he's a virgin. 

[Oban]

The cup is compensating.