The Pursuit of Mr. Happy

[LK]

I'm 27 and I haven't been laid.

Spending most of my time on the computer, I didn't develop much of a social life. I thought that I was taking some righteous path and that I'd be just fine without going outside. I was fucking wrong. All this lifestyle had, playing video games all the time, not interacting with people, all that shit that comes with being an antisocial person has only made me lonely, friendless, low self-confidence, and stressed out like crazy. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to see places. I wanted to meet people. I wanted to make friends with people who'd care to invite me to places because they thought I was cool. I wanted to belong. Most importantly, I wanted to bag a chick.

Almost a year ago I decided to allow myself to drink alcohol. I wasn't looking to drink my problems away; I was experimenting to see what a big deal it was. Turns out it really isn't a big deal. What alcohol has taught me is how to be fun, more outgoing, more social, and to have a good time. More than I could have on a computer. WAY MORE. So I had taken an important first step in what I call the Pursuit of Mr. Happy.

One of the problems, and maybe blessings, of being slightly overweight is that I have an extremely high tolerance for alcohol. Granted, this is a pisser in that it costs me more to get drunk, but it's also pretty nice to ease in to that and get valuable experience with drinking. So I was able to socialize better at events and be able to feel like part of a group instead of an outcast. But I was still nervous around women. I was as inexperienced as it gets. I don't have any girl friends, not close to anyone with a vagina, and needed a handicap.

So what'd I do? I went to strip clubs.

There is no finer place to pay for a college-level education in improving self-confidence and building something from nothing when it comes to learning how to talk to people than at a strip club. It's like Easy Mode in an FPS where you shoot one bullet and the enemies just fall over. The girls will come to you. They'll act interested. If you want, they'll rub against you and mean it, and that'll take any awkwardness you have right the fuck out. If you can impress them (which might not be as hard as I thought), you'll feel much better about yourself. Over the course of a year I probably dropped a couple grand in those places wining, dining, and dancing. People I had known over that entire time commented on how I was more loose, more fun, more "educated" after that time. But there was a certain point that I needed to stop going and start hitting the real world. After all, any friend you make in a strip club is only a friend inside the strip club. So Super Bowl Sunday was the last day at a Strip Club.

What was really important is that I made a New Year's Resolution to get laid. 2008 was really a "start to become more normal" type experience. 2009 was when I wanted to put it into practice. January was a bit of a waste, as I was still pulling myself away from strip clubs, so I didn't begin in earnest until a week after the Super Bowl.

I want this to be a sort of travelogue to share with you guys on my journey towards going places no nerd has gone before. It's difficult to document such a lifestyle transformation after the fact, but you might all be interested, and, if not, I wanted to at least put it down some place.

--

February 8th, I went to downtown Hollywood, CA, on the advice of a friend to check out the Spider Club. I got to the general location early and explored the area. The first thing I realized is that a lot of bars and stuff aren't clearly labeled. The second thing I realized is that I had no idea what it was I was looking for when it came to an establishment to hook up.  However, I could sense that this area was HAPPENING, based on the quality of the people walking by and the number of bums present. After all, affluent neighborhoods have lots of bums.

I walked down Hollywood St. towards the Kodak Theatre looking for a place to eat and found the Geisha House. That place is a dive. I was expecting something authentically Japanese. What I got was the decor but not the staff, music, or atmosphere to go with it. I paid way too much for too little food and left the place in disgust.

I checked out the historic Frolic Room next to the Pantageas theatre. Good drinks, good atmosphere, but more a hangout and prep before you go out place than a "I'm here to meet women and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum" place. I also popped into Katsuya on the corner of Hollywood and Vine, which is apparently a major hang out for celebrities (evidenced by Paparazzi camping out) and everyone wearing clothes that are worth more than my monthly salary. Around 10 o'clock I went to Club Avalon, as it turns out the Spider Club was shut down and converted into an elite, reservations-only restaurant known as the Bardot.

I met some friends in line and had a real good time at this night club. Good trance / techno / electronic music that makes all the more difference when you're drunk. Places like that are an EXPERIENCE if you're in the right frame of mind and with good people. But I was able to immediately identify that this was a place to go with your friends and party, not a place to meet people. I also learned several valuable lessons: never buy drinks for people you meet that day, and never fucking trust a phone number exchange unless the person gives you their phone number without you asking, or you ring their phone and they prove that you have the right number.

Also, drinks are fucking expensive at clubs. I got a thimble of Jack Daniels for $10. Bleh. At least put that shit in a shot glass. I also learned that I enjoy establishments where the staff is appreciative of your presence instead of eyeballing you like you might make a move on them.

My partying ways on Friday ended up disabling me on Saturday and Sunday was work night, so I had to wait until next week to keep exploring.

--

February 13th. As ominous a date as you can get. My initial thought was that I should stay inside to avoid any midnight Love Massacres that might occur by having a day like this saddled next to a day like Valentine's Day, but I was hungry and wanted to experience more.

I decided to return to Club Avalon to see if my theories could be confirmed about the place, and that I didn't have any other leads on places to go. A note: I really wanted the non-Internet experience of finding places. I could have gone to CitySearch or any other venues to check places out, but finding it out from other people had this Shenmue-esque "I'm looking for sailors" type nostalgia that made the experience better.

I started by walking down Sunset Blvd. this time to check out any places I hadn't seen there, and to head towards the area where the Kodak Theatre was. I discovered a couple places but a lot of places that were in the area I missed due to minimal markings. At least if I wanted to see Jimmy Kimmel Live!, I knew where to go. After grabbing a slice of New York Style pizza (Yum!) and trying a new place of Yogurt (think Pinkberry but another version), I went to Katsuya for their happy hour. Katsuya has really good food and good drinks. Happy Hour is the only time to really go there unless you're a CEO of a company or you're celebrating a birthday with dresses and tuxes. I spent about an hour there eating food and drinking before I thought it was time to move on and check out other places.

I walked down Argyle St. towards a place called "The Waffle" (any place that serves Waffles all day has to be worth checking out). However, I walked by a place on the way called the Well. I saw some people hanging outside and asked "Uh, is this like the back door to Wells Fargo or something?" They said "No, it's a bar." O Rly? I stepped inside to check the place out and immediately recognized that these were the types of places I was looking for. All it had was a bar, tables and chairs, music, and that's it. I instantly understood why TVs are shunned in these establishments after I had a seat and started browsing the menu. People come to these places to talk to people. They don't want distractions. Lesson learned.

At this point I was extremely loose from drinking so I was able to start up random conversation with a group of friends who were waiting to head out to another party. I kept one guy pretty entertained (and made me think that maybe I should investigate a career in comedy. Seriously. Not a drunken idea.) and ordered some food from their Happy Hour menu (that runs everyday from 5 - 9!). I was able to try out some amazing food and instantly placed this establishment on my top places to visit. BUT! It was not a hookup bar in any sense of the word. This was a staging ground, a meeting point, a get together spot; the perfect spot to enjoy their happy hour and move on to other places.  So I left after 9 and started back towards Avalon.

Avalon was the same as it was last week. Lots of dancing, lots of friends with friends, not much socializing. I left at 1 am and went home tired and downtrodden. But at least I had found out about the Well.

--

February 14th. Valentine's Day. Surely I would find some love?

I slept in pretty late because I had heard that Club Avalon was open til 9 am, and I was worried my drinking last night would have upset my tummy. I woke around 3 and was fine, though, so I got dressed up and headed back down to Hollywood.  The funny shit is that on Friday it took me 2 hours with traffic to get there. Today? An hour and 15 minutes. When there's no traffic I can be there in 45 minutes, so that was a huge improvement.

By the time I got there it was already 7:30 pm. I wanted to eat at Bardot but I had forgotten the exact spelling of its name. I still can't find the website to make reservations. So I went to the Well to try more of their food where I kept a nicely dressed blond woman entertained who was waiting for her friend that was supposed to show up by 6:30, drink, and then leave at 8. She was a regular at the Well as evidenced by the staff talking with her a lot. Also, it turns out the Well was having a Singles Party, but I had showed up a bit late to get the most out of it. Still, free appetizers, and good cheap Happy Hour drinks.

I was starting to realize that I was running out of leads of places to go, and I feared that my trip to check out Avalon tonight (Saturday Night is supposedly different from Friday Nights, so I wanted to see what the crowd was like) would result in me not wanting to go back. So I asked her plans; they were going to go barhopping then eventually end up at a bar called the Association. I broke out my cell phone and started writing this down because I had a tendency to forget bar names I only hear once early in the evening. I waited to see what her late friend looked like, then thanked her and started walking back towards Avalon after 9 o'clock.

Turns out there was a Rockabilly concert going on in the place, and it was going to run long. They said 10:30. After wandering around and coming back at the designated time, it turns out it was closer to 11:15. By that time there was a huge line outside the club.  Hundreds of Rockabilly fans (Jesus...) poured out of the club. It was an interesting mix of characters. After we were finally let in, they were still setting up the Electronics show in the main floor, so we were confined to the lobby. The few drinks I had at 8 o'clock were starting to work their way out of my system, so I was feeling pretty sour in mood. We watched a body art show for what looked like dancers getting made up before they let us into the club floor. Generic electronics music filled the hall. People went out there and danced. I saw people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's mingled with this young crowd and saw a vision of myself in the future. I thought it sucked.

I waited around for another hour just standing around and not wanting to pay the exorbitant prices for drinks, and the show still hadn't started. I left in disgust; all the bars close around 2 am, so I wanted to at least check out the Association on the blond's recommendation.

All I had was a name and not an address. I was starving: I only had an appetizer around 8, and was planning to eat at Club Avalon's exclusive restaurant, the Honey, but it was standing room only and I wouldn't have enjoyed my meal. I thought, alright, I'll go to the Well and try their food. Turns out that Singles Party and "Meeting Spot" turns into a full blown party by midnight. Plus, the kitchen was closed. I couldn't breathe in that place so I left. I decided to go to the Waffle. What can I say? Good waffles. But the manager was kind enough to get me an address for the Association, and off I went.

I thought it was a bit ominous when I parked down the street from the bar on a section of road full of sleeping bums in tents. But, after a block's walk, I found myself in front a large wooden door with a gold handle modeled after the British Prime Minister's home at 10 Downing Street in London. Alright, great first impression. Stepping inside, I thought I had struck goal: this was a place where people were drinking and having fun in an atmosphere that was at both times cozy and sexual. People were hooking up here. I could smell it. But I was here on a scouting mission: it was already 1 am and the place closed in an hour. I didn't want to go in and get drunk with so little time. I found a cozy spot at the end of the bar (passing by the blond who I didn't want to freak out and think I was following her), ordered a couple of drinks, and just watched and waited. I tried to put some Tom Leykis lessons into practice: look interested, having fun, not like you're trying to meet women. Let them come to you. It also helped that I was standing where people had to come up and order drinks.

A tall, blond woman in an evening dress, fresh from a charity event, was trying to get the attention of the bartender. I helped her out and we struck up a conversation. She helps create websites for major movie franchises like Pirates 2 and 3. I thought, cool, interesting person. I was just being myself, not making any moves. I thought she looked nice but to be honest it seemed like she was with some people. But after talking with her for fifteen minutes while her extravagant drinks were being made, she got her bill, tore off a piece of paper, and handed me her phone number.

Shit. That was after 20 minutes in the place.

She said to give her a call if I wanted to hang out and debate. I started to "Go Playah", I asked her what the subject of the debate would be. She said she didn't know, so I said "As long as I get the choose the position of the debate, I'll be good." I felt a little dumb at what was an obviously failed attempt at double entente, so I dropped the act, smiled, and said I enjoy intelligent conversation. We talked Obama and the octuplets before she had to get back with her friends. I think she's Republican or a McCain supporter even though she said she was Democrat.

I hung out for a little while, chatted up with the doorman, then had to shut down since it was 2 am. I saw the woman on the way out; wished her a pleasant evening, to which she returned and rubbed my hands in a warm gesture. The woman looks like she is in her early 30's, but I'll take any friends I can get at this point. She's pretty damn tall too. I thought I saw her wearing low heels but she definitely had 3 inches or so on me. Awesome.

--

Which brings us to today. I wouldn't be going out, except we have tomorrow off from work. Plus, I had a new hot spot to investigate: Downtown L.A. Discussing at the bar has given me a new place to check out: The Golden Gopher. I wanted to walk around downtown and see if I could scrounge up other places, but I used CitySearch today and turns out there's a fuck ton of them. Just gotta know where to go.

So tonight, I'm going to go eat in Little Tokyo (a la Man V. Food), then waltz towards downtown and see the sights and sounds of L.A. When it gets late enough I'm going to call the woman and see what she had in mind for a good place to "debate". At this point I'm open to suggestions on how to have a good time because, as I mentioned at the start of this post, I'm as inexperienced as you can get. But I'm working on it.

So I'll update y'all on whatever happens tonight. My goal is to hookup with a Japanese girl, but my defenses are extremely weak against the wiles of women, and I've found that while I may like the look, when it comes to personality I don't give a crap what their ethnicity is. Still, I haven't found the place in LA where white guys go to meet Japanese chicks. I should ask my coworkers since damn near all of them have Asian girlfriends / wives.

Also, I am so fucking definitely going to start taking my exercise seriously.

[Lantyssa]

1) Prepare for flames about this place not being a blog.

2) Getting laid isn't that great.  (Caveat emptor: This is grump week and I'm not in the norm on a good one.)

3) Good luck!

[stray]

Holy shit, that's long (no offense).

I have only one thing to say for now: Stay away from strip clubs. Nothing wrong with strippers per se, but that's a silly move to try to meet them there. Generally speaking, you're not going to be having any fun (cheap fun at least) with these girls unless you meet them elsewhere, as a non-customer. Otherwise, you're a sucker. Don't do that to yourself. I swear to God, I've only stepped in strip clubs a handful of times in my entire life. I'm 31. I actually despise those places, and feel sorry for any dude in there... and act like an asshole who can't control myself from laughing at the girls there. Yet, they are still familiar territory for me outside of all of that.


Also, one other thing. Stop with the Japanese shit. If you want to get laid, get laid. Don't let your own fantasies cockblock you out of that.

[Murgos]

tl; dr: Try internet dating.

[stray]

For real.. and look at this way: Last two girls I hooked up through the internet were strippers. See, so there you go.

[edit] Fuck that, I'm not saying any more. This thread is contagious.

[Abagadro]

For all that money spent on drinks you could get a decent class prostitute. 

[Hawkbit]

Fuck, all that time spent typing that and I could have found and banged two chicks in that time. 

1.  Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
2.  Sex isn't all it's cracked up to be. 
3.  You're putting forth too much effort. 

1.  Go internet dating.  I know 4 couples so far that have met and married through those services.  The first one doesn't have to last. 
2.  Join a book club or something.

[Yoru]

Oh god, LA clubbing. That shit nearly turned me off of nightlife forever. It's been a couple years, and I've heard from friends there that most of my favorite venues have shut down, so I can't offer any tips. Personally I preferred the west side more, since I lived near the 3rd Street Promenade and could hit Venice/Santa Monica bars without having to spring for a cab home.

Also, less of the Hollywood tourists and trend bullshit.

[Big Gulp]

1.  Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.
2.  Sex isn't all it's cracked up to be. 
3.  You're putting forth too much effort. 

It's all well and good telling him that, but when you're a 27 year old virgin you have zero chance of not sending out "NEED SEX BAD" vibes, which is certified chick repellant.

My question is how desperate are you to finally yodel in the valley?  You have a couple of options.

1)  Go to Craigslist and set up a "date".  Be cautious, though.  The last thing you need is some pimp robbing you.
2)  Hit a rub & tug.  While not truly losing your virginity you will have the vital experience of a crying asian woman handling your junk.
3)  Lower your standards.  A lot.  Trust me, I've been with girls who I was truly, deeply ashamed of having slept with.  This is something every guy needs to do at least once in their lives.  And it'll make for a good story.  Don't go to bars for this.  See that chunky girl with the bad complexion working the register at the 7-11?  Yeah, tell her you're dying to take her out to dinner.  At dinner, drink.  A lot.

[Oban]

2) Getting laid isn't that great. 

Well, that explains a bit.

Anyway...

Lorekeep, I think the major problem is that you are attempting to hook up in LA by going to bars.  Perhaps you should take some night classes that interest you or pick up a hobby that requires you to directly interact with real people on, at least, a weekly basis.  

Also, never go in to a strip club expecting sex.  That is not what they are there for.

[Yoru]

Lorekeep, I think the major problem is that you are attempting to hook up in LA by going to bars.  Perhaps you should take some night classes that interest you or pick up a hobby that requires you to directly interact with real people on, at least, a weekly basis.  

This and this again. Liquor and bars are never a substitute for being an interesting person leading an interesting life. (See, for example: Musicians. Right, Sky?  )

The real difference is this: are you looking to find a date or a fuck? The latter you can find in an LA bar, influenced by a wide variety of factors. A large one is Big Gulp's #3 above. The former, listen to Oban.

[Big Gulp]

Seriously, though, the biggest thing you need to get over is your fear of rejection.  That's the difference between guys who get laid and guys who don't.

Honestly, what's the worst that can happen?  They laugh at you and say no?  Fuck 'em, try again.  Soon, in fact.  Make it a game!  How many times can I get rejected?  I'm not saying this to be snarky, I'm telling you to actually do this.  The sooner you build up a "rejection callous" the better.  It'll make you more relaxed and that'll help immeasurably with interacting with women.  The most powerful aphrodisiac in the world besides money is a general air of nonchalance and not giving a shit.

I really don't think women could handle it if they had to handle the amount of rejection men take as a matter of course.  Their egos would be destroyed by it.

[Arthur_Parker]

You aren't unhappy because you haven't been laid, you are unhappy because you are unhappy.  Sex isn't that big a deal, work on being happy and join a dating website, learn to cope with your fear of rejection by being rejected lots.  Also don't fall in love with the first person you sleep with or your followup post might be longer.

Edit

Seriously, though, the biggest thing you need to get over is your fear of rejection.  That's the difference between guys who get laid and guys who don't.

That's the secret to dating right there.

[Big Gulp]

Still, I haven't found the place in LA where white guys go to meet Japanese chicks. I should ask my coworkers since damn near all of them have Asian girlfriends / wives.

Oh, and drop the yellow fever.  It's fucking creepy and asian girls can sense it like sharks smell blood.

[stray]

Seriously, though, the biggest thing you need to get over is your fear of rejection.  That's the difference between guys who get laid and guys who don't.

Entirely in agreement. I was just going to type the same thing. I think it's something a lot of guys do, guys experienced more experienced than Lorekeep too.. but in your case Lorekeep, you just need to fast forward to some mindstate where you're more comfortable with yourself, as if you've learned some things already.. and take some steps from there.

After reading over again, you probably could have hung around that blonde longer. I mean, just going by how you described it. I wouldn't have let her go so easily. Sounded like she was digging you, man. Either way, good luck if you see her again.

I wish I could give you advice on how to get to this better "mindstate", but I can't. I'll just say that nothing truly falls into your lap. Even a forward woman. You've gotta be more into it. Women can be insecure as well. Never forget that. [edit] Honestly, just to be crude about it - I can't think of any women - not in a long time at least - who weren't entirely comfortable with me until I told them, verbally or otherwise, how much I wanted to fuck their brains out. Again, just to be crude. Replace "fuck their brains out" with "have a clear liking for". To hell with all "pickup" advice any more complicated than that. One clear affirmative shrouded in some cool, but not totally off-putting negatives. Pretty simple.

[Hawkbit]

Also:

If you go looking for it, you'll never find it. 
Stop looking for it but continue to be social, and it will find you. 

[Strazos]

/facepalm

Dude, you May be overthinking all this. Just a bit.

Like someone said above, open your standards up. A lot. Even moreso if you're just looking for action, rather than a relationship. Which are you looking for? I'm sure others here can tell you if you're on the right track.


But, at least you seem to be enjoying yourself at bars and such. That's more than I can do; Stick me in a bar or club for 20 minutes, and I'll start looking for excuses to leave. Though it's probably because I don't have any fun drinking.

[Merusk]

Crap, I have nothing to say.  I  can't even begin to relate.  Um.. good luck.

[Strazos]

Oh, I can relate. And it fucking sucks. I got all that heavy drinking and club stuff out of my system by the time I was 20.

Maybe join a gym? Not like that Ballys nonsense, but a nice, laid-back gym?

[Big Gulp]

Like someone said above, open your standards up. A lot. Even moreso if you're just looking for action, rather than a relationship. Which are you looking for? I'm sure others here can tell you if you're on the right track.

I don't think this can be emphasized enough.  You also need to get a handle on your real self image.  For instance, I'm a dude in my mid 30's who looks like tattooed white trash.  I'm fairly barrel chested and big up top, but I have no ass and chicken legs.  I also have a partial upper denture from A) A severe lack of childhood dentistry, and B) fights.  These are my deficits, but I can still get past it.  In fact, working in a tattoo shop, I do quite well for myself actually.  But I'm not trying to pull sophisticated, rich, supermodels.  I'm more than satisfied with freaky tattoo chicks who have a little bit of trailer park in them.

From your own self descriptions, I'd say you're a fat nerd who at 27 has yet to have sex.  And you also sound like you have a tendency to try to fit everything into a pattern and think things out.  The first can be worked around, because those are only physical attributes.  The second set of tendencies you have need to be gotten rid of ASAP.  You're not going to hook up with a Japanese girl who happens to like virginal, overweight, anime-obessed nerds.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Don't try to run before you've even crawled.

ETA:  In summation, my advice would be as follows:

1) Get a grip on what your real strengths and weaknesses are.

2) Cast a wide net and work on getting rejected a lot.  Make it your goal to ask out 5 girls a day, whether you want to or not.  Doesn't matter where you meet them.  Gas stations, restaurants, bookstores, Starbucks, whatever.  Abandon the bar effort, because unless you've got a group of friends or at least a wingman, you look like that lonely guy at the bar desperately trying to score.  Not an image to cultivate.

3) Ditch whatever fantasies you've built up in your head over the years of furious masturbation you've engaged in.  Your goal is REAL WOMEN, not porn fantasies.

[Strazos]

 You're not going to hook up with a Japanese girl who happens to like virginal, overweight, anime-obessed nerds.  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Don't try to run before you've even crawled.

ETA:  In summation, my advice would be as follows:

1) Get a grip on what your real strengths and weaknesses are.

2) Cast a wide net and work on getting rejected a lot.  Make it your goal to ask out 5 girls a day, whether you want to or not.  Doesn't matter where you meet them.  Gas stations, restaurants, bookstores, Starbucks, whatever.  Abandon the bar effort, because unless you've got a group of friends or at least a wingman, you look like that lonely guy at the bar desperately trying to score.  Not an image to cultivate.

3) Ditch whatever fantasies you've built up in your head over the years of furious masturbation you've engaged in.  Your goal is REAL WOMEN, not porn fantasies.

This. I probably have a lot of the same problems as you; you just need to put the work in to get past some of your shortcomings. I know sure as shit that I am far from perfect;(among other things) I'm not tall, not particularly good looking, and have a terribly pedantic speech pattern. But, I like to think I'm not a terrible person.

As someone was lecturing me the other day, you need to build a bridge to where you want to go. A bridge of "decent bitches" to get you to "hot bitches who want to bang you." At least this is how it was explained to me. Nothing new, but I thought it was funny, and it's also a good bit of advice. Right now there is a large gap between where you are, and where you want to be.

Do as I say, not as I do: get to building some bridges.

[stu]

Maybe join a gym? Not like that Ballys nonsense, but a nice, laid-back gym?

Yeah, most of the cool college girls here work out at a gym called Porky's instead of the big name ones.

May the Force be with you.

[schild]

My goal is to hookup with a Japanese girl

I really don't think you do. Maybe Japanese-American, but I don't think you want to have to deal with a Japanese girl. You don't own the "I want to date a Japanese girl" kanji shirt? Do you? I think I'd have to beat you up if you did.

[stray]

You also need to get a handle on your real self image.

I, for one, grew up feeling like a literal freak of nature, having manic-depressive like episodes when I was like 9 and shit, and I've still got some confusing racial identity issues floating in my head... But as time went by, I discovered that being a mongrel has it's benefits. I mean, a lot of dudes dig half Asian chicks - just one look at this at site alone and it's obvious. It's the same in reverse as well. To top it off, I'm tall @ 6'4".. Something I also hated while growing up. These were always my flaws actually, and now they're pluses, and that's my own self-image mindfuck.

Personally, I think looks are overrated as hell, and if anyone feels like indulging, I'll explain more.. but I'll just end here with agreeing once again with what you said.

[Triforcer]

Still, I haven't found the place in LA where white guys go to meet Japanese chicks. I should ask my coworkers since damn near all of them have Asian girlfriends / wives.

Oh, and drop the yellow fever.  It's fucking creepy and asian girls can sense it like sharks smell blood.

Agree.  This is less of an issue if you are actually IN Japan, but in America every female Asian friend I'd ever had could smell that type from a mile away.  Maybe you can catch an FOB, but Americanized ones will avoid you like the plague.  Don't limit yourself to one race, my friend 

Also, when did this website turn into this? 

[Strazos]

I blame Hyu.

[Margalis]

Hang out and debate?  

I'm going to wager that the woman was annoyed by politics talk and that the number was fake.

Also since when are antisocial people all sad about not having friends? I spent Valentine's Day drinking scotch and watching Young Frankenstein but you don't see me complaining about it.

[Big Gulp]

Hang out and debate?  

I'm going to wager that the woman was annoyed by politics talk and that the number was fake.

Bingo.  I get the feeling from the OP alone that Lore is like a lot of smart but socially retarded people; he's trying way too hard to strike up a conversation.  Consequently he probably just talks too goddamned much out of an attempt to make a good impression, and to show how charming/interesting he is.  Women don't want to hear you talk about you.  They want to hear them talk about them.  The best thing you can do is find a good way to let them do that.  If you can fake sincerity you've got it made here.

Edit:  Oh, and women don't like to debate.  Debate is inherently combative and most women don't get off on that.  Women like commiseration, they like to feel like you share a connection with them.  Most women aren't looking for someone who they can match wits with, they're looking for someone they can unload on.  If you can do so without sounding obsequious, agree with them on pretty much everything, maintain eye contact and try to behave as though what they were saying is the most interesting thing in the world even when it's banal, dull, prissy bullshit.

The watchword here is manipulation.  Yeah, I know that sounds dirty and sociopathic.  Like you're pretending to be someone you're not.  You are.  Get over it.

[Abagadro]

Maybe you should try out for the next season of The Pickup Artist.

[NiX]

tl;dr

If you lived anywhere close to where I do, I'd be willing to help you find a girl. College is a cesspool of girls with low self esteem.

[rattran]

[crazy talk]

Psycho.


And, don't try so hard.

[Abagadro]

Just drive up to Lyon County, NV and pop your cherry for a few hundred bucks.

[stray]

[crazy talk]

Psycho.


And, don't try so hard.

Aww shucks, man. Just try to help the brother out. I'm sure if things didn't go so well for anyone, they'd be trying too hard by 27 too. It's gotta be frustrating.

[Paelos]

Hell, I'm a 27 year old virgin and some of the stuff you're saying doesn't come across as sex talk. It comes across as unhappiness talk (i think someone else mentioned this). Sure, we all have insecurities, but the point remains that you have to like yourself first.

Anyway, good luck in your conquests. Don't expect getting laid to solve everything though. Stay away from hookers please. That's a line you don't want to cross.

[stray]

Also, and in all respect, you have more of a foundation to why you're in the same situation. It's a choice for you. And that's cool. But Lorekeep isn't choosing it.

But then, perhaps he can learn something from you anyhow.