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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Useless Conversation 0 Members and 9 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Useless Conversation  (Read 4183664 times)
Cyrrex
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Posts: 10603


Reply #3815 on: September 08, 2008, 08:29:26 AM

Seriously, who the hell did New Orleans piss off?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
HaemishM
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the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


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Reply #3816 on: September 08, 2008, 08:30:06 AM

Republicans, apparently.  awesome, for real

Cyrrex
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Reply #3817 on: September 08, 2008, 08:33:59 AM

I was thinking that, too, and had visions of Hurricane Julio tearing through downtown St. Paul.  I mean, if they could control weather and all that.  Which I wouldn't put past some of them Tinfoil Hat

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Yegolev
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Posts: 24440

2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


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Reply #3818 on: September 08, 2008, 08:46:53 AM

I just caught myself saying "Yahyahyah..." to someone as if I was Indian.  I need to digest this.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Oban
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Posts: 4662


Reply #3819 on: September 08, 2008, 10:35:15 AM

Don't Indians say "HyahHyahHyah" instead of just yah?

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
Yegolev
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2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


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Reply #3820 on: September 08, 2008, 11:58:44 AM

Depends on where they grew up, maybe.  I sounded a lot like one of the Indian Canadians.  The important thing is that I didn't sound like I was from the deep woods of Alabama.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #3821 on: September 08, 2008, 12:12:23 PM

Bzzt. It's "heyhowahyah heyhowayah heyhowayah".

Yegolev
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Reply #3822 on: September 08, 2008, 01:27:23 PM

Nice, a Native Jewmerican.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942

Muse.


Reply #3823 on: September 09, 2008, 04:34:34 PM

I have serious hiccups right now.  The ones that are so hard they hurt.   ACK!

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Evildrider
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5521


Reply #3824 on: September 09, 2008, 04:41:44 PM

Step 1  Swallow 1 tsp. white table sugar, dry. A study found that this stopped hiccups immediately in 19 out of 20 people. Repeat up to 3 more times at 2-minute intervals if necessary.

Step 2  Gulp down a glass of water if the sugar doesn't work.

Step 3  Slowly eat a piece of dry bread.

Step 4  Breathe in and out of a paper bag. Do not use a plastic bag under any circumstances, and don't do this longer than 1 minute.

Step 5  Gargle with water.

Step 6  Repeat the above steps until your hiccups stop.
voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348

Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.


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Reply #3825 on: September 09, 2008, 04:59:23 PM

I have serious hiccups right now.  The ones that are so hard they hurt.   ACK!

I do too!  And I'm not even drunk!  ACK!

Voodoo & Sauce - a blog.
The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3826 on: September 09, 2008, 06:45:19 PM

Step 6  Repeat the above steps until your hiccups stop.

Step 7 Wake up from your sugar shock induced coma and book an appointment with your doctor for an insulin prescription.

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
Signe
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Posts: 18942

Muse.


Reply #3827 on: September 09, 2008, 08:30:42 PM

Hehe.  I don't think so.  I don't eat sugar, especially the white, granulated sort. 

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Evildrider
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Posts: 5521


Reply #3828 on: September 09, 2008, 08:36:04 PM

haha.. I just googled and copied and pasted the first thing I saw. 

When I have the hiccups I just try to take long drinks of water to try and stifle them.
Ironwood
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Reply #3829 on: September 10, 2008, 01:37:16 AM

When I have hiccups, I concentrate on my diaphragm and stop them.

It's a muscle like any other chaps.  Get it under control.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Cyrrex
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Posts: 10603


Reply #3830 on: September 10, 2008, 06:15:24 AM

Hold your breath for 20 or 30 seconds.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Yegolev
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Reply #3831 on: September 10, 2008, 06:45:28 AM

All of the wacky solutions involve stopping or controlling your breathing.  Think about it.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Nebu
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Posts: 17613


Reply #3832 on: September 10, 2008, 06:51:30 AM

Eighty-two percent of persistent or intractable episodes of hiccups occur in men. 

I don't know why, but I've always remembered that.  Probably because of the association of gastric distension and men being couch potatos. 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Yegolev
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Reply #3833 on: September 10, 2008, 07:28:55 AM

Last time I got hiccups, it was due to the thai red curry I was eating.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Engels
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Posts: 9029

inflicts shingles.


Reply #3834 on: September 10, 2008, 07:41:06 AM

this sounds wonky, but my surefire way is to drink a glass of water upsidedown. Bend over all the way, then tilt the glass under your chin and take as many as 3 swallows, and they're gone.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

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Sky
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I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #3835 on: September 10, 2008, 07:51:49 AM

Another vote for diaphragm control. My fiancee gets awful persistent hiccups, and gets pissed at me when I tell her to learn to control her diaphragm better. I dabbled in yoga in the early 90s, so I had some good breathing techniques, but I can't really explain them well, I guess. She's dabbled in "yoga", the cheesy modern version taught by soccer moms, aka stretching. The guy I learned from was one of those dudes who believed in full body cleansing, pulling string through the nose and out the mouth, etc.

I stuck to the breathing, stretching and muscle control stuff.
JWIV
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Reply #3836 on: September 10, 2008, 08:37:24 AM

Some god damn mouth breathing cube dweller with delusions of grandeur has taken it on themselves to pull out ~10 lunchboxes out of the refrigerator and posted a sign saying that they would no longer be tolerated. 
Nebu
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Reply #3837 on: September 10, 2008, 08:40:02 AM

Some god damn mouth breathing cube dweller with delusions of grandeur has taken it on themselves to pull out ~10 lunchboxes out of the refrigerator and posted a sign saying that they would no longer be tolerated. 


"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Cyrrex
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Posts: 10603


Reply #3838 on: September 10, 2008, 08:44:38 AM

Wait.  Lunchboxes won't be tolerated?  What the hell is that about?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
JWIV
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Reply #3839 on: September 10, 2008, 08:52:17 AM

Space supposedly, but I'm not buying it when people are storing gallons of milk and the like in there.


Cyrrex
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Posts: 10603


Reply #3840 on: September 10, 2008, 09:02:10 AM

By the very definition of what they are, I'd think that lunchboxes stack in a fridge about as nicely as anything else every could.  Are you getting stabby?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
JWIV
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Reply #3841 on: September 10, 2008, 09:11:27 AM

By the very definition of what they are, I'd think that lunchboxes stack in a fridge about as nicely as anything else every could.  Are you getting stabby?

If I knew who it was, I would be.  This may qualify as one of the most retarded things I have ever witnessed. 
Oban
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Reply #3842 on: September 10, 2008, 10:56:16 AM

Webcam facing the fridge, problem solved.

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
WayAbvPar
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Reply #3843 on: September 10, 2008, 11:41:26 AM

Bear trap in front of the fridge, problem solved.

FIFY.

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Yegolev
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Reply #3844 on: September 10, 2008, 11:44:12 AM

When I have some free time at work, I don't actively try to piss people off.  Observe today's creation:

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #3845 on: September 10, 2008, 11:56:48 AM

Yegolev
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Reply #3846 on: September 10, 2008, 01:43:11 PM

Are you saying I should submit mine?  I just wanted to do something with Excel that didn't involve a list of servers.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


Reply #3847 on: September 10, 2008, 01:56:37 PM

You're a natural!
Yegolev
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Reply #3848 on: September 10, 2008, 01:59:12 PM

Consider me a F13 exclusive.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942

Muse.


Reply #3849 on: September 10, 2008, 06:15:09 PM

Gee, thanks for all the suggestions.  They went away on their own.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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