Useless Conversation

[Nebu]

Draegan and Ched; Who's servicing your loans? I want to transfer mine over to them!

My student loans were consolodated at 7%.  When the banks were all doing a 1% consolidation, I was told that I couldn't re-consolodate.  I fucking hate banks. 

[Yegolev]

If you're trying to pull out of a spot or change lanes or anything like that, people actually speed up to try and stop you.  It makes no sense.

Makes plenty of sense.  Darwinism, capitalism, etc.

OK you've just made me really worried about ever driving in America because I think British drivers are brainmeltingly fucking terrible. Too fast, too close, too distracted, utterly selfish and ignorant of the rules of the road to an unbelievable degree.

I was relating my driving adventures to a couple of guys in Edinburgh and their horror was obvious.  Especially the part where I told them I figured the best way to survive a roundabout was to spend as little time in one as possible, and the best way to do that is to go over the middle part.  I really only did that one time.  Maybe two.

[stray]

The things that probably irritate me the most are very small things -- but they drive me insane anyhow -- hesitant lane changers (the kind that, I'm guessing, are overly cautious about it and take way too long to change); almost dead stops at speed bumps; and last but not least, slow turners in general -- either a great majority of people have some ungodly lack of power steering, or they need to go back to driving school. That is not how you're taught to turn.

[Yegolev]

Near-stops at speed bumps don't bother me too much because replacing suspension parts is a pain.  As for turning, there are a lot of times when I have something in my car that I cannot let flip over, so I'm understanding of people who turn slowly.

[Draegan]

PA drivers are the worst.  Jersey drivers are better than most.  NY drivers (not NYC since no one really drives in NYC and those that do are usually from Jersey) are terrible.

I have people in my Apt. Complex that nearly stop before a speed bump and it usually pisses me off for no reason.  Slow turners are terrible to, though I hate the people who ride your bumper going 80 on the interstate in traffic.  Back the fuck off.

[stray]

Near-stops at speed bumps don't bother me too much because replacing suspension parts is a pain.  As for turning, there are a lot of times when I have something in my car that I cannot let flip over, so I'm understanding of people who turn slowly.

Have you ever replaced a suspension part? That rarely happens. Cars are sturdy, man. I've dragged all of my cars through mud and dried out creek beds for years, and have yet to break a suspension. And by cars, I mean cars. Not just trucks.

Going a moderate speed over a speed bump isn't anything. Trying to jump them or some shit is asking for trouble, but there isn't any need to crawl over them.

I think everyone around here is overly cautious and slow actually. Even at stop signs, they overly give you the courteous wave/right-of-way. I mean, that's nice and all, but sometimes they had been there well before I was. Yet, they just sit there with a big smile on their face waving me by. I don't understand. Just fucking go!!  The road is not a place to practice your saintly deeds.  


Oh yeah, I hate slow accelerators too. You know, the type of people who can't just get up to the speed limit in a reasonable time, after a light has gone green? Wtf is up with that?

Yeah yeah, not as bad as out of control, fast drivers -- but it drives me batty all the same.

[Sky]

Near-stops at speed bumps don't bother me too much because replacing suspension parts is a pain.  As for turning, there are a lot of times when I have something in my car that I cannot let flip over, so I'm understanding of people who turn slowly.

Yeah, I'm guilty of both of those. I'm also slow getting up to speed. You put the gas in my car and I'll hammer it to the floor every time, sweety.

I'll give ya the hesitant lane changers, though. Know where you're going and signal clearly. In fact, I'll throw in a gripe against the people who don't use their signals properly, or at all. That's dangerous.

And ffs, don't be in such a hurry to get everywhere. Slow the fuck down and relax. Leave early. Enjoy the ride.

[Merusk]

The things that probably irritate me the most are very small things -- but they drive me insane anyhow -- hesitant lane changers (the kind that, I'm guessing, are overly cautious about it and take way too long to change); almost dead stops at speed bumps; and last but not least, slow turners in general -- either a great majority of people have some ungodly lack of power steering, or they need to go back to driving school. That is not how you're taught to turn.

Slow turners bother me, but less so than WIDE turners.  

Hey, asshat.  If you give the wheel another 1/4 turn you won't be nosing into my lane when we're both turning left on a double lane turn. You also won't come close to clipping my car when I'm well behind the stop mark and you're turning right. Thanks.

The hesitant lane changers are the folks who see a turn signal as a request, not a warning.  My wife does the same thing and I've told her time and again, "Dear, you're letting them know you're coming over.  If you're asking permission they're just going to speed up and close the gap." She's finally starting to get it.

[Lantyssa]

I hate the turners who need to swing in the opposite direction before turning.  Hey fuckhead, my car is occupying that lane!

Tailgaters also annoy me to no end.  If I was rich I'd hit my breaks a lot more.  As it is, I want a "I break for tailgaters!" bumper sticker.  On a battered bumper.

Making me drive is the best way to rile me up.  I hate driving, I hate stupid people, and having both mixed together means I'm going to be screaming at someone.

[SuperPopTart]

Mississippi drivers lose their fucking turn signal as soon as they reach driving age.

Mass drivers drive WAY too damn slow, everywhere and at all times.

Jersey drivers and Connecticut drivers are just obnoxiously rude. The CT Drivers have the "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT" down pat.

[Sky]

I can't get angry while driving anymore. Now that I have the FJ, I do more of the driving much to the entertainment of my fiancee. I make up all kinds of little voices and stories for the other drivers. It's fun.

I also decided a while ago that getting speeding tickets sucked, and with my last ticket for failure to stop (which was laaaame because I did stop and it was 4-way ffs)...I drive the speed limit and come to complete stops. I even wave people like Stray on at 4-ways now. I'm in no fucking hurry, burn up your gas and drive like a maniac, I don't care. I'll just enjoy my tunes and smile and wave.

Note that I do refuse to drive within 20 miles of Albany, and we won't talk about Boston.

[stray]

Actually, slow acceleration wastes more gas.


[edit] On another note, I need to just get a bike. It's relatively safe here with all of the cautious lane switchers and dry weather.

[Rasix]

Heh, other insurance company has admitted fault.  Nearly $10k worth of damage to my car but it won't get totaled out.   

Most drivers annoy me, even drivers that drive like me. Everyone that's posted here seems like they'd annoy me.  I'm just frightened of teenagers and the elderly.  They seem to have it out for me.

[Yegolev]

Have you ever replaced a suspension part?

I have, in fact, but it was on one of the ones they made before computers.  I'll concede your point, though.  Maybe we can agree on the perception being the cause instead of the reality, which is most often the case with everything.

Oh yeah, I hate slow accelerators too. You know, the type of people who can't just get up to the speed limit in a reasonable time, after a light has gone green? Wtf is up with that?

This actually has a huge impact on your gas mileage, according to my field tests.  However since gasoline is $1.45 per gallon, laissez le bon temps rouler!  I could drive my Altima such that I get 28mpg, but I usually drive it such that I get 21mpg.

My driving would annoy a lot of you and scare the rest, but I will get home an entire five minutes before you do.

I'm mostly giving tips on not giving yourself chest pains via road rage.

[stray]

I don't get chest pains from road rage. I get "Well, there goes my tasty beverage flying at some asshole's back window. Now I need a refill damnit" when all the while, it's probably the beverage that'll bring on any sort of chest pain.

[FatuousTwat]

Ok, it has been absolutely clear from PDX to where I live for 4 days. Why have the packages that have been sitting at the airport since the 22nd still there? Get off your fucking asses, UPS! They already delivered some other shit 2 days ago, why not save the trip and deliver everything at once?

[Viin]

UPS sucks.

[voodoolily]

I know I drive like an asshole, but at least I get places. I always travel as fast as I can safely go without risking a ticket (9 mph over the speed limit), except for on residential streets.

When the light turns green, I do not sit there hitting my bong, I actually press the gas. If the person in front of me chooses the bong over the gas pedal, I press my horn.

When I need to change lanes, I turn on my signal, check my mirror AND over my shoulder, and then change lanes (if it's clear, doy). I do not wait until I'm about to cut you off before I turn my signal on, or slow way down until I have an opening, then turn on my signal, or just completely fail to use it.

I drive the speed limit the entire time I'm about to exit, waiting until I'm actually ON the exit before slowing down.

Volvo drivers are the worst, because you know they care about safety so much that they bought a vehicle designed to withstand moose impact.

When people zoom to turn or changes lanes right in front of me, when there's no one behind me, I give them the old high beams. Sometimes I shake my +3 Stick of Rage. It has hate on its face and is scary (I keep the top part in my car for lulz).

edit: long day, html is hard.

[Righ]

My pet hate is poor lane discipline. If you're not overtaking anybody, stay the fuck on the inside lane. After you have overtaken somebody, get back in the fucking inside lane. The outside lane is not yours to cruise in in perpetuity because you once drove a touch faster than another car that was on the inside lane. Get the fuck out of it and let people who want to drive faster overtake safely without having to swerve in and out of traffic in any and all lanes. Most deaths on the road aren't happening because somebody simply went over 55 MPH, they're happening because the guys that go over 45 MPH have to weave in and out of traffic because nobody has any fucking lane discipline. And they're all on the fucking phone.

Since I now see policemen holding mobile phones to their ears while driving, I have lost all hope for PA ever doing anything about it. I was thinking of patenting a cell phone that has indicator buttons on either side of it so that self-centered cunts who have to both speak on the phone at all times and feel the need to cut you up can at least make a pretense at warning you. However the fuckers who do use indicators (I presume they are steering with their knees, because they surely still have a motherfucking phone to their ear just like everybody else) only use them once they are already half way into your lane and forcing you to brake sharply. Not so much indicators as CYA for when they inevitably kill somebody - did you indicate? Yes. Not saying when.

No, wait. There's something worse. America is FULL of complete arseholes who feel compelled to overtake you as soon as you overtake them and then slow back down to their previous crawl as soon as they have their oversized heap of shit in front of you again. Overtaking is a risky proposition in America - most people hate you 'violating' them by daring to pass, and will speed up. This is bad enough on a highway - its fucking dangerous on a country road. I've heard a number of Americans criticize Brits for excessive queuing (no more than America frankly, but Brits are pretty notorious for being up-tight about queue protocol) but the US is the first country I've been in where most people seem to want to queue in their cars. Nose-to-tail at speed, like a NASCAR pack.

[Lantyssa]

Why do New Orleans drivers turn their signal on then turn the other friggin' direction!?  I tell myself I didn't see what I thought I saw, then I go through NO and it happens again.  Then when the refugees fled to Houston from Katrina, they started doing it here.  Seriously, WTF?

When the light turns green, I do not sit there hitting my bong, I actually press the gas. If the person in front of me chooses the bong over the gas pedal, I press my horn.

I go quickly if I'm first at the light, but I always check the cross traffic.  I didn't once on a left turn, and being a four lane intersection and now perpendicular to the former direction of travel, I didn't see the guy who ran the red and smacked into me until the last second.  Bastard totalled my 300 ZX, and of course had no insurance like every maniac down here.

Volvo drivers are the worst, because you know they care about safety so much that they bought a vehicle designed to withstand moose impact.

So it's not just me?  It's like they think they have the world's safest care, so it's okay if they become the world's shittiest drivers.  And all Eclipse drivers are assholes.  I'm not sure why on that one.

Edited: Also everything Righ said while I was typing.  Multiple times over.  That was the one nice thing about West Texas.  Drivers actually moved over to the shoulder to let you pass if you were going faster.  I love them.

[stray]

I know I drive like an asshole, but at least I get places. I always travel as fast as I can safely go without risking a ticket (9 mph over the speed limit), except for on residential streets.

When the light turns green, I do not sit there hitting my bong, I actually press the gas. If the person in front of me chooses the bong over the gas pedal, I press my horn.

When I need to change lanes, I turn on my signal, check my mirror AND over my shoulder, and then change lanes (if it's clear, doy). I do not wait until I'm about to cut you off before I turn my signal on, or slow way down until I have an opening, then turn on my signal, or just completely fail to use it.

I drive the speed limit the entire time I'm about to exit, waiting until I'm actually ON the exit before slowing down.

Volvo drivers are the worst, because you know they care about safety so much that they bought a vehicle designed to withstand moose impact.

When people zoom to turn or changes lanes right in front of me, when there's no one behind me, I give them the old high beams. Sometimes I shake my +3 Stick of Rage. It has hate on its face and is scary (I keep the top part in my car for lulz).

edit: long day, html is hard.

You people in Portland all the way up to Seattle all drive like maniacs. Too used to the rain or something. Even my grandpa would drive on those high curved mountain roads at an uncomfortable speed.. fuck that shit. That's where I actually do start tip toeing my way around.

[Merusk]

No, wait. There's something worse. America is FULL of complete arseholes who feel compelled to overtake you as soon as you overtake them and then slow back down to their previous crawl as soon as they have their oversized heap of shit in front of you again. Overtaking is a risky proposition in America - most people hate you 'violating' them by daring to pass, and will speed up.

Oh shit, I forgot about those guys, mainly because my commute has only been 15 mins for the last 3 years.  I hate those bastards.

[voodoolily]

Drivers actually moved over to the shoulder to let you pass if you were going faster.  I love them.

If I'm in the middle of unfamiliar BFE, working (e.g., looking out the window because I'm determining wetlands or trying to find my study area) or on a sketchy road where locals know the curves and want to go faster, I always pull to the shoulder to let them by. I cannot fucking stand it when slow drivers single-lane roads don't extend the same courtesy. ESPECIALLY if they aren't even able/willing to maintain the speed limit. I flash the brights at those fuckers too.

[stray]

No, wait. There's something worse. America is FULL of complete arseholes who feel compelled to overtake you as soon as you overtake them and then slow back down to their previous crawl as soon as they have their oversized heap of shit in front of you again. Overtaking is a risky proposition in America - most people hate you 'violating' them by daring to pass, and will speed up.

Oh shit, I forgot about those guys, mainly because my commute has only been 15 mins for the last 3 years.  I hate those bastards.

Someone did this to me last night actually. I passed him, but then he sped up and stayed right next to me. Like he wanted to race or some shit. So I slammed the breaks. A winner is you, big guy.

[Grimwell]

Heh, other insurance company has admitted fault.  Nearly $10k worth of damage to my car but it won't get totaled out.   

Dude, Get. A. Lawyer. Now.

Not because you should sue for eleventy million dollars, but because insurance companies are shit and will screw you over. Them admitting fault now just means they know they are screwed and are hoping that you will be impressed by the number they show you; which is lower than the number you should get. Let a slimeball stick it to them and take his third, it is the right thing to do.

I made the mistake of being nice when I had my only (I hope) car accident almost ten years ago. I got jack shit for the damage to my body -- screw the car -- and sit here with the pains that I now consider normal after almost ten years. Take the money I should have and run with it.

My wife's family works in insurance, so while some people may not think that insurance is shit, they are wrong. The insurance companies are just betting they can invest your money better than you can, and also pay you back as little as possible in the deal.

Get yours!

[Endie]

Heh, other insurance company has admitted fault.  Nearly $10k worth of damage to my car but it won't get totaled out.   

Dude, Get. A. Lawyer. Now.

Not because you should sue for eleventy million dollars, but because insurance companies are shit and will screw you over. Them admitting fault now just means they know they are screwed and are hoping that you will be impressed by the number they show you; which is lower than the number you should get. Let a slimeball stick it to them and take his third, it is the right thing to do.

This is an accurate summation of the situation.  My guess is that they heard the words "pregnant woman in the car" and went into damage-control mode.

[Merusk]

Good point, Grim.  People think that stocks are legalized, institutionalized gambling, but insurance ACTUALLY IS.  Know who the first 'insurance' guys at Lloyds of London were?  Speculators in a coffeehouse at the docks in the 17th century who made bets against each other about which ships would make it into port and then figured out they could make money at it. 

Even your own company isn't on your side. Don't trust 'em.

[Sky]

Actually, slow acceleration wastes more gas.

I disagree. When I was living in the ghetto, there was a red light every block. So I'd have to mash the accelerator to try and make the next light before it went red. I would speed up faster and generally drive about 40 in a 30 (about the only time I've sped).

Now I have one light on a timer and a few stop signs. Since I'm not trying to make an untimed light, I accelerate slowly and generally go 30mph.

With my pickup, I went from 15mpg to about 18 mpg. I get about 20-22 with the FJ on clear roads, but I've been using 4wd alot lately, about 4-5" on the roads this morning. Back to about 18mpg, but getting 4wd "free". Not to mention the wear on the vehicle with all the rpms and brakes needed to drive fast in stop-n-go.

I've heard a number of Americans criticize Brits for excessive queuing (no more than America frankly, but Brits are pretty notorious for being up-tight about queue protocol) but the US is the first country I've been in where most people seem to want to queue in their cars. Nose-to-tail at speed, like a NASCAR pack.

A good guide to driving in america is to expect the other guy to drive selfishly, even to the exclusion of his own safety. Speaking of queuing, I hate leaving concert because the concept of a zipper is so intensely foreign to so many people. Two lanes of traffic in a parking garage, left car goes, then the right car. Left, right, left right yada. Not left, right, ok I'm going on the right too, right, right, hey fuck you I'll nose my car in on the right. I hate selfishness.

Then there's the protocol for letting someone pull out of a parking lot. If there's a queue, I'll generally let them pull out in front of me. If I'm coming up to a red light, go on ahead and pull out, I'm in no rush to get to the red light. But it bugs me when people stop the regular flow of traffic to let someone out ahead of them....especially when the lanes are clear behind us. You're an inattentive moron, not a samaritan. On the other side are people who will not let you out when they are coming up to a red light. Then they have to sit in front of you through the entire red, so I take that time to roll down the window and wave at them, thanking them for giving me the time to say hi in their busy rush to sit at the red light.

Re: passing aggressive drivers. I don't play around with that shit. And yeah, a lot of those douchebags are wearing NASCAR emblems. I even have a fun little story about how if you buy it at the official NASCAR shop, it makes you an official NASCAR driver. I keep the fiancee entertained. And I pull over and let that mess go on down the road, hey douchebag, you win! I need to get a checkered flag to keep in the truck, it would make life simpler.

All of these things are why I alot more time to get where I need to go and keep good music in the car. What are you going to do with that extra five minutes you save risking your life and those around you? Pick your asscrack? Watch some tv? Srsly.

[Signe]

Drive as fast as you can to get where you're going sooner so that there's less people on the road!  Zoom Zoom!

[Salamok]

... But it bugs me when people stop the regular flow of traffic to let someone out ahead of them....especially when the lanes are clear behind us. You're an inattentive moron, not a samaritan. On the other side are people who will not let you out when they are coming up to a red light. Then they have to sit in front of you through the entire red, so I take that time to roll down the window and wave at them, thanking them for giving me the time to say hi in their busy rush to sit at the red light.

I agree with the 1st part and while I used to agree with the 2nd part there are definately some exceptions there.  Way too many of these large shopping centers place an exit too close to a traffic light.  I have 1 on the way home that has an exit onto a 4 lane one way road and it is 30 yards before a light.  Inevitably the guy you are nice to is under some delusion that he can cut over 4 lanes of rush hour traffic in 30 yards (to make a left at the intersection) so you sit there and watch the light you easily could have made turn red again as he parks in front of you with his turn signal on.  All this instead of choosing an exit point from the parking lot that would better accomodate his needs.

My other major pet peeve is people who tie up a lane of traffic in rush hour trying to make a left accross double yellows to pull into a gas station or some shit.  More concrete medians please!

[voodoolily]

I hate leaving concert because the concept of a zipper is so intensely foreign to so many people. Two lanes of traffic in a parking garage, left car goes, then the right car. Left, right, left right yada. Not left, right, ok I'm going on the right too, right, right, hey fuck you I'll nose my car in on the right. I hate selfishness.

I hate it too, but I hate it worse when the "left" in front of me is too nervous (or busy taking bong hits) to go on their turn. I'm not going to sit there and wave to let them know it's okay to take their turn.

I tend to drive under the general assumption that everyone else is a fucking mouthbreathing retard that should never have been granted a license, and in my way. This was my unfortunate inheritance from my father (who drives way worse than I do).

[voodoolily]

I agree with the 1st part and while I used to agree with the 2nd part there are definately some exceptions there.  Way too many of these large shopping centers place an exit too close to a traffic light.  I have 1 on the way home that has an exit onto a 4 lane one way road and it is 30 yards before a light.  Inevitably the guy you are nice to is under some delusion that he can cut over 4 lanes of rush hour traffic in 30 yards (to make a left at the intersection) so you sit there and watch the light you easily could have made turn red again as he parks in front of you with his turn signal on.  All this instead of choosing an exit point from the parking lot that would better accomodate his needs.

My other major pet peeve is people who tie up a lane of traffic in rush hour trying to make a left accross double yellows to pull into a gas station or some shit.  More concrete medians please!

Yes, all of this. I also hate people who change lanes in the middle of the intersection, turn into the wrong lane (left into left, right into right, motherfuckers!) and people who change lanes across solid lines. Obey the fucking law!

btw, this is the wrong thread to read before beginning the morning commute. I'm all geared up to rage, and I haven't even left the house!

[Salamok]

more fuel for the fire, how about those aholes that hop over into the right lane (50 feet in front of the right lane ends must merge left sign) just so they can jump ahead a few cars.  These fucks are what guns were made for!

[Draegan]

more fuel for the fire, how about those aholes that hop over into the right lane (50 feet in front of the right lane ends must merge left sign) just so they can jump ahead a few cars.  These fucks are what guns were made for!

That's called strategy.

[Yegolev]

What are you going to do with that extra five minutes you save risking your life and those around you? Pick your asscrack? Watch some tv? Srsly.

I use it to play games.

People sometimes try fucking with me on the roads, but I have to remind them: always bet on black.  Yea, sometimes the other guy wins but I'm fairly knowledgeable about traffic patterns on my route and it really isn't all about speed but lane choice.  Also, I'm not racing anyone except the clock, so I don't particularly care if someone passes me as long as they don't block me.  Blocking happens but no one can maintain a lock on me for very long on any highway with more than three lanes, because there's always going to be a bigger douchebag than you and his slowness will make an opening for me.  Finally, if you can and do out-accelerate a 3.5 litre Altima, you can go first and probably aren't interested in blocking me anyway.

Incidentally I have noticed that tailgating people can sometimes cause them to slow down.  Every driver is different, but this can be used to your advantage in creating openings in a horizontal line of vehicles.  Flashing the headlights (unless Voodoo meant lifting her top) just pisses people off and they will try to block you (or whatever is pissing you off), but tailgating can create a sense of "this fucker is going to hit me" in some people.

more fuel for the fire, how about those aholes that hop over into the right lane (50 feet in front of the right lane ends must merge left sign) just so they can jump ahead a few cars.  These fucks are what guns were made for!

I only do this when I am in a real hurry or being stupid.  Ideally, I would have been in the ending lane for a long while since those are usually free of vehicles, but the real trouble is when trying to merge back in because chances are I will run into someone like myself who will try their best to keep me from merging.  You have to weigh the gain against the chance of loss due to not being able to merge quickly.  One time I forced a taxi into the emergency lane for about half a mile; I certainly don't get upset when people do this to me because I should have been paying more attention.  Fucking taxis.

Related to the above, one of the best lanes to be in is whichever one the orange sign says is ending.  You can pass fifty to a hundred cars like this in the right conditions.

Fortunately I don't really give a shit about this game anymore other than as a puzzle.