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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Useless Conversation 0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Useless Conversation  (Read 4176019 times)
NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353


Reply #3570 on: August 18, 2008, 04:00:44 PM

For marriage advice, my mother's advice is the same as her own. Get a marriage where there's at least one country's border between you and the man sends money home. My mother hasn't really managed to get the money yet but my dad's most of the surface of the planet away and they've been happily married for the whole time. Seems to be working out.

"You want to know about your father? He's... in a different country. On the other side of the world. Really. We love each other and are happily married. Honest."

My parents were happily married until they decided to live a few thousand miles apart. They still think they're happily married and I'm honestly confused. To be honest I think they're both quite confused as well. And if anyone says otherwise I will hire assassins. Cheap Mexican assassins that probably don't know where you live or anything but by God those assassins will be hired.

At least I'll feel better.

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474


Reply #3571 on: August 18, 2008, 04:22:52 PM

"Hola senor."

"Hi, uh, I want to hire you to kill someone."

"Que?  You no hablo ingles."

"Uh, yo necesito, uh, muerte un hombre."

"Que?  Muerte!"

"I don't know who he is or where he lives so you will have to find him. So, yea, here is 20 bucks."

"Gracias senor."

"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353


Reply #3572 on: August 18, 2008, 04:42:35 PM

So long as someone's dead, damn straight! (For all my talk of not caring about exactness though I should remind people that midgets take up less trophy room)

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Rishathra
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1059


Reply #3573 on: August 18, 2008, 05:34:45 PM


"...you'll still be here trying to act cool while actually being a bored and frustrated office worker with a vibrating anger-valve puffing out internet hostility." - Falconeer
"That looks like English but I have no idea what you just said." - Trippy
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3574 on: August 18, 2008, 06:41:39 PM

Oh fuck the flags, this is


Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348

Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.


WWW
Reply #3575 on: August 18, 2008, 09:09:49 PM

That looks like a big ol' knob of aged Morbier.

My hands smell like ham, what from all the ham I've been handling.

Voodoo & Sauce - a blog.
The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3576 on: August 18, 2008, 09:33:39 PM

After seeing the SWG video and Roper's picture from the HG:L thread, I am starting to think that interaction with people who have facial hair should be avoided at all costs.

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
stu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1891


Reply #3577 on: August 18, 2008, 10:12:03 PM

The first time you have to clean a toilet before you can puke in it (baaaad hangover one morning), you get a little fire in your eye about it, that's for sure.



Couldn't help myself.

Dear Diary,
Jackpot!
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #3578 on: August 19, 2008, 02:24:48 AM

Happy Birthday to me.

God, I'm so old.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #3579 on: August 19, 2008, 02:56:12 AM

Happy Birthday to me.

God, I'm so old.


Happy birthday, you angry bastard.
Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449

Badge Whore


Reply #3580 on: August 19, 2008, 03:50:42 AM

Happy Anniversary of making your father a little less sexually satisfied.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #3581 on: August 19, 2008, 03:57:31 AM

And I thought you were married ;  That would be HIS anniversary.

Getting the wife pregnant is what a man does to try to restart his sex life.  The last grasp of the desperate.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3582 on: August 19, 2008, 04:34:42 AM


Getting the wife pregnant is what a man does to try to restart his sex life.  The last grasp of the desperate.


...and on that depressing note, Happy Birthday.

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449

Badge Whore


Reply #3583 on: August 19, 2008, 06:30:35 AM

I was thinking more along the lines of your head stretching out the birth canal.  Women who've birthed aren't as tight as those who haven't.  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942

Muse.


Reply #3584 on: August 19, 2008, 06:50:39 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD BOY! 

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029

inflicts shingles.


Reply #3585 on: August 19, 2008, 07:00:49 AM


Heeeeey, waiddaminute, I thought you didn't read Cosmo! What's with the provenance of that animated gif? http://www.sheknows.com/ !? Girly mag, girly mag!!  Grin

Oh, and happy birthday Ironwood :)

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613


Reply #3586 on: August 19, 2008, 07:03:49 AM

God, I'm so old.

Piss off. 

Happy Birthday. 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5283

Stopgap Measure


Reply #3587 on: August 19, 2008, 07:22:17 AM

Engels
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9029

inflicts shingles.


Reply #3588 on: August 19, 2008, 07:23:51 AM


Quote
1561 - An 18-year-old Mary Queen of Scots returns to Scotland, after spending 13 years in France.

hah hah.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #3589 on: August 19, 2008, 08:07:07 AM

Happy birthday.

HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #3590 on: August 19, 2008, 08:16:19 AM

 ACK!  ACK!  ACK!


I don't think I can top the midget serial killer clown, so I'll just say Happy Birthday, you cunt.

voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348

Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.


WWW
Reply #3591 on: August 19, 2008, 08:33:32 AM



Happy birthday, you old sot.

Voodoo & Sauce - a blog.
The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #3592 on: August 19, 2008, 08:59:22 AM

Happy B-day IW. Since you are on the civilised side of the pond, you are probably already home enjoying a refreshing birthday adult beverage. You lucky bastard.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #3593 on: August 19, 2008, 09:11:33 AM

On Holiday all this week.  It's been a non-stop beverage.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348

Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.


WWW
Reply #3594 on: August 19, 2008, 09:22:23 AM

Since you are on the civilised side of the pond, you are probably already home enjoying a refreshing birthday adult beverage.

Look at you, spelling civilized with an 'S'. Fancy ourselves upper crust, eh wot?

Voodoo & Sauce - a blog.
The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #3595 on: August 19, 2008, 10:15:22 AM

I wanted to make sure IW could understand me. Those z's confuse the Euros  Ohhhhh, I see.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #3596 on: August 19, 2008, 10:16:10 AM

I wanted to make sure IW could understand me. Those z's confuse the Euros  Ohhhhh, I see.

Holy shit, Ironwood is european? I fucking thought he was from Maine.
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #3597 on: August 19, 2008, 10:30:34 AM

Is that a joke ?

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3598 on: August 19, 2008, 10:31:57 AM


Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
schild
Administrator
Posts: 60350


WWW
Reply #3599 on: August 19, 2008, 10:33:30 AM

Is that a joke ?

Obviously (man, I hope so). It just makes you easier to swallow if we assume you're from some unholy combination of a Lovecraft story and a bad Stephen King novel.

I like Oban's response better.
MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #3600 on: August 19, 2008, 10:42:56 AM

I think I'm developing a drinking habit.
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #3601 on: August 19, 2008, 10:48:20 AM

I think I'm developing a drinking habit.

...or, you could have just started a career in business development.

Grats!

Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324

sentient yeast infection


WWW
Reply #3602 on: August 19, 2008, 10:53:49 AM

Drinking habits are great, especially while you're still developing them and they haven't matured into drinking problems.  Much like kittens before they become senile bed-pissing old cats.  Enjoy the ride, I say.

Also, happy birthday to Ironwood!



The above is a cake, in case you couldn't tell.
MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Reply #3603 on: August 19, 2008, 10:55:14 AM

Guys, there's no bagpipes in Portland, Maine.

Knock it off.
Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240


Reply #3604 on: August 19, 2008, 11:11:30 AM

Schild just offered to swallow me.

Truly, it's an interesting Birthday.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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