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Topic: Useless Conversation (Read 4183496 times)
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Fraeg
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1018
Mad skills with the rod.
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Politely explained to a new hire today that his Deicide T shirt might not be a good call at work.  I "think" it was this shirt  |
"There is dignity and deep satisfaction in facing life and death without the comfort of heaven or the fear of hell and in sailing toward the great abyss with a smile."
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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I got my corporate Xmas/NYE gift today as it was my first day back after holiday.
Now I know where all my money is going.  |
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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As a teen, the song was "Smokin' In The Boy's Room" but in my forties it's "Fartin' In The Break Room".
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Hippo Birdie, Yeg. Your Beano birthday gift is waiting for you at the pharmacy.  |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Thanks! |
Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Since this thread is at least partially now fucked up medical stuff, has anyone ever had a testicular ultrasound? I get to have the distinct pleasure of getting one tomorrow and don't really know what to expect.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Yes. Couple of times. They are embarrassing, but utterly painless and unintrusive. In honesty, it's much, much worse if you get a gorgeous woman doing it with long black hair. So. Don't sweat it. Because there's nothing worse than sweaty balls.
The worst thing that'll happen is she'll press down too hard.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Is it like a hummer?
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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There is no vibration. If that's what you meant. Or possibly I just have a hugely thick scrotum. |
"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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Had a hot blonde do mine a couple years back. Just non-stop thoughts of "DO NOT BONER DO NOT BONER". Lubing up the region and then caressing it for 20 minutes or so. Worse because she was trying to make me feel comfortable and smiling and talking to me the whole time...I DO NOT WANT COMFORTABLE JUST NOW THANKS
Pray for a dude or weird ugly chick (unless that's what you're into). But it will probably be a hot young thing. I think they do it on purpose.
Had some groin pain and was worried about it, but turned out it's my old swordfighting injury, from when I fell of the top of the monkey bars and broke my pelvis when I was a kid.
So yeah. Enjoy it, but not too much.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Odd. Both times I went unlubed. I HAVE BEEN CHEATED OF MY RIGHTFUL LUBE !!!
I know it helps ultrasound transmission, but it's a fairly, er, thin skinned region so shouldn't need it. If they do it that way in Merika, make sure you take some goddamn hankies. Can't imagine walking out with a lubed up ball sack.
...
Er, is any of this helping at all ?
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Chimpy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10633
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"swordfighting" injury, eh? Is that what you call it?  |
'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I think it's an industry term.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Geez, you guys. Isn't there a secret men's only thread where you can go and discuss your man bits in private?
Also, if there IS a secret men's only thread, I demand to be let in! If it's a secret, it means you're hiding something and I want to know what it is.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Mostly lubed up balls, by the sound of it. Don't think you're missing much.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Yes. Very helpful, thanks. I already know it is a woman based upon making the appointment. I've got mental images of Margaret Thatcher ready to roll.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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That'll do it.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12007
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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Yes. Very helpful, thanks. I already know it is a woman based upon making the appointment. I've got mental images of Margaret Thatcher ready to roll.
Kathy Bates is my go to. |
Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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Sky
Terracotta Army
Posts: 32117
I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.
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Lubed sack and rubber knickers are the way to go. You do it differently in Scotchland?
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I assume that seeing a hard dick is part of the job when you are paid to fondle them. So, whatever.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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WayAbvPar
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This song keeps running through my head as I read about people getting their junk knocked around.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Morat20
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18529
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Yes. Very helpful, thanks. I already know it is a woman based upon making the appointment. I've got mental images of Margaret Thatcher ready to roll.
Don't sweat it. Occasional boners happen, and people doing testicle ultrasounds are fully aware of this. Also, if you're like me, you're generally either too worried about WHY you're paying someone a lot to poke at your balls ("OH SHIT DO I HAVE CANCER?") or just too embarassed that some stranger is poking at your sac really clinically, like it was some strange beast that needed cataloging. Unless you have an outright medical fetish, the whole experience is a giant buzzkill. I suspect boners will be the last thing on your mind, the first being "This is really weird". |
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Should it happen, make eye contact and nod slowly without breaking eye contact. Now YOU are in control. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Wasn't really all that worried about getting a hard on, just more about whether it was painful, I had to shave my balls, etc.
Whole thing went fine and doesn't look (upon initial view) like I have cancer. Yay!
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Hawkbit
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5531
Like a Klansman in the ghetto.
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Yay, indeed. Good news!
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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Wasn't really all that worried about getting a hard on, just more about whether it was painful, I had to shave my balls, etc.
Whole thing went fine and doesn't look (upon initial view) like I have cancer. Yay!
Yes, yes, well and fine about that whole not having cancer thing, but was she hot or not? |
"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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No. No danger there.
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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lamaros
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8021
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They use lube in Australia Ironwood. Austerity measures, perhaps?
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Abagadro
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12227
Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.
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Can confirm lube. Plus, it was either a warming gel or the wand itself was heated. I'm sure I'll pay 4x the cost as the NHS did though, so maybe cold, un-lubed balls is the way to go.
Also, this is my last post on the matter. Sorry for steering the conversation this direction.
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« Last Edit: January 07, 2016, 12:26:45 AM by Abagadro »
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"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
-H.L. Mencken
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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They use lube in Australia Ironwood. Austerity measures, perhaps?
I doubt it. Both were quite some time ago and non age or cancer related. I'd probably just offended someone somehow. You know. The way I do. |
"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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WayAbvPar
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Can confirm lube. Plus, it was either a warming gel or the wand itself was heated. I'm sure I'll pay 4x the cost as the NHS did though, so maybe cold, un-lubed balls is the way to go.
Also, this is my last post on the matter. Sorry for steering the conversation this direction.
No worries. Junk talk needs to happen occasionally. Now, about my vasectomy... |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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apocrypha
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6711
Planes? Shit, I'm terrified to get in my car now!
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Talking about large tubes.... does anyone here do any astronomy? I got a telescope for christmas. However, living in Lancashire in northern England, last night was the first night since christmas that there was even the faintest glimpse of clear sky and I got to have a go with it for the first time.
Light pollution isn't great here, it was slightly cloudy, I messed up the polar alignment of the mount and didn't really know how to find anything specific (beyond Polaris and Cassiopeia). But it was still awesome suddenly being able to see 100 stars in the viewfinder when I could only see 1 with the naked eye.
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"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I don't do astronomy. I did arrive in the office men's room this morning to discover that my fly was already open. What does your astronomy tell you about that?
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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It tells me you're lucky it was morning rather than 2pm like my realization of the same prior to Christmas.
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The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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apocrypha
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6711
Planes? Shit, I'm terrified to get in my car now!
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I could make a joke about the importance of making sure your tube assembly is properly secured if you like, but I don't think it'd be funny.
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"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
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