Useless Conversation

[Nebu]

Is he a close friend or an acquaintance.  If he's close, then help him be a positive influence.  If he's not, then try to be honest without being cruel. 

You're a very tactful guy, so I'm sure you've already run through the possible dialogue in your head.

[HaemishM]

If you are trying to tell someone you don't want them around you... there just isn't a way to do that without sparing feelings. Because the whole concept is dickish. I'm not saying it's WRONG, mind you. If you don't want someone around, you are being a dick - but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't justified that having this person around is just not what you want to do. So again, you won't spare his feelings - any attempt to do so will only make him glom onto you more.

People who lack social skills (and are thus game killers) don't get subtle clues. Sometimes they don't even get overt ones. Trying to spare their feelings is only going to cause you more trouble in the end. Embrace the dickish.

[Lantyssa]

"I'm trying to get some play here, I work better solo, and I'm not after you."

Maybe talk non-stop about football.  Or find things he doesn't go to.

[Paelos]

Is he a close friend or an acquaintance.  If he's close, then help him be a positive influence.  If he's not, then try to be honest without being cruel. 

You're a very tactful guy, so I'm sure you've already run through the possible dialogue in your head.

No, he's not. He's a member of this group longer than I am, which makes me wonder WTF he was doing before I showed up.

I'll have to just broach it honestly I suppose and let the chips fall.

Thanks everyone.

[Phildo]

Curious what the other members of the group think of him.

[Nevermore]

Tell him you're a huge Cowboys fan.  That should be enough to get rid of anyone. 

[Abagadro]

Just say in a loud,  exaggerated manner: "GET BACK FOO YOU SPIKING MY GAME, YO."

Should do the trick.

[Paelos]

Just say in a loud,  exaggerated manner: "GET BACK FOO YOU SPIKING MY GAME, YO."

Should do the trick.

Good advice in general, counselor.

[Furiously]

Is he a close friend or an acquaintance.  If he's close, then help him be a positive influence.  If he's not, then try to be honest without being cruel. 

You're a very tactful guy, so I'm sure you've already run through the possible dialogue in your head.

No, he's not. He's a member of this group longer than I am, which makes me wonder WTF he was doing before I showed up.

I'll have to just broach it honestly I suppose and let the chips fall.

Thanks everyone.

Or, ask him what he needs from you at these engagements, or would like from you.

[Yegolev]

Full disclosure: the gangly nerd is not me.

[Trippy]

I bet your suit is a chick magnet.

[schild]

I question why he is even in the same place as anyone else.

Buy him yugioh cards.

[Ironwood]

Just say in a loud,  exaggerated manner: "GET BACK FOO YOU SPIKING MY GAME, YO."

Should do the trick.

Good advice in general, counselor.

This is not good advice.  That advice is just terrible.  It's awful advice.  Awful.

[Paelos]

Just say in a loud,  exaggerated manner: "GET BACK FOO YOU SPIKING MY GAME, YO."

Should do the trick.

Good advice in general, counselor.

This is not good advice.  That advice is just terrible.  It's awful advice.  Awful.

You sure?

[Yegolev]

I bet your suit is a chick magnet.

The orange tux is indeed the paragon of a chick magnet.  Proven in the field.  Your mileage may vary but wearing that into a party or night venue, I was not bored all night.

[Maven]

Be direct but polite. You aren't responsible for how he chooses to react nor his feelings. This is about communicating yours. If he lashes out or blames you, that's all on him, and it's a dick move.

He sounds lonely and in need of someone to talk to but if he doesn't get your feedback *in a way he understands* then nothing is going to change.  He'll go right on thinking things are cool because that's what he wants to believe, and will disregard any evidence to the contrary.

There's one perspective for you.

[Samwise]

I bet your suit is a chick magnet.

The orange tux is indeed the paragon of a chick magnet.  Proven in the field.  Your mileage may vary but wearing that into a party or night venue, I was not bored all night.

That stupid "peacocking" thing from The Game really does have a lot of truth to it.  Although from my experience briefly having had blue hair, while it's fun having strange women come up to you to admire your plumage and give you their numbers, they do tend to be... strange.

[Pennilenko]

...they do tend to be... strange.

Those are the best kind. 

[Maven]

Figure strange would be great for a fun time, not for a long-term committed relationship.

[Engels]

I've had the 'puppy following me around' problem in the past. In my case it was very rough, since half the problem is that they wanted my approval desperately, and some part of their brain just whisked away the negative feedback signals I was sending. They were incredulous that you would reject them, as that's their deepest fear. They kept glomming on like a ship-wrecked sailor to a life raft. In my case, it was a combination of both narcissism and low self esteem that was nigh impenetrable and can be a deep seated personality disorder that you can't possibly change.

The only solution was to drown the puppy because sheesh.

[Maven]

This may sound crazy, but I learned how to put a smile on my face today tbat had an immediate effect on my depressed mood and shook me out of a negative thought cycle.

Check out Mark Bowden's TED talk "The Importance of Being Inauthentic." People are right! Just smile! But you have to do it right. Not all smiles are effective, and I think that is what is missing when people offer that advice.

[Polysorbate80]

Just say in a loud,  exaggerated manner: "GET BACK FOO YOU SPIKING MY GAME, YO."

Should do the trick.

Good advice in general, counselor.

This is not good advice.  That advice is just terrible.  It's awful advice.  Awful.

You sure?

Of course he is.  There should be at least one usage of the word cunt in the phrasing.

[Samwise]

People are right! Just smile!

Sexist pig.   

[Phildo]

...they do tend to be... strange.

Those are the best kind. 

There's a reason people don't call it "getting some normal".

[Paelos]

I get some normal everyday. It's called oatmeal.

[HaemishM]

I had a woman I've never met and don't remember seeing around my office building tell me that every time she sees me, it makes her smile. I'm assuming she's talking about the mohawk I'm sporting now because I get lots of people talking about it these days. It's apparently more rare than a chupacabra sighting in Mississippi. Somewhat nonplussed, I told her it was a good thing and smiled. I'm not even sure how to respond to that sort of thing. If I was single, maybe I'd try out some game but I'm not so I just take it as a good thing and move on.

[Cheddar]

Touch his penis.

[Samwise]

Touch his penis.

...this is actually the best way of getting rid of him forever without hurting his feelings.

Unless he's gay in which case whoops.

[Ironwood]

That'd would be a pretty big oops.  Now tell him about the twinkie.

[Paelos]

Touch his penis.

That's your solution to everything.

[schild]

Touch his penis.

That's your solution to everything.

I don't agree with that, for obvious reasons.

[Sky]

Touch his penis.

That's your solution to everything.

I don't agree with that, for obvious reasons.

Well, he can't very well impregnate the dude.

[Signe]

Which is good because impregnating someone is SO not the way to get rid of them.

[Morat20]

The assholes who write some of these fucking ads need to be beaten to death. Also, assholes who write browsers wherein scripts can block closing the goddamn browser need to be beaten.

If I manage to get re-directed to a fucking ad page, the ad should NOT be able to block me closing the fucking window entirely. I shouldn't have to use the task manager to kill your stupid fucking web browser.

[Yegolev]

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