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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Shocking development - Paris Hilton 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Shocking development - Paris Hilton  (Read 3569 times)
Dren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2419


on: September 07, 2006, 09:02:39 AM

She drives while drunk!

Who would have guessed?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060907/ap_en_ce/hilton_arrest
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #1 on: September 07, 2006, 09:44:18 AM

I just can't figure out why someone worth millions of dollars can't be bothered to take a limo or have someone else drive her useless ass around when she is drinking.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Dren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2419


Reply #2 on: September 07, 2006, 09:51:26 AM

Because she'd miss this excellent opportunity for publicity.

In her demented little world, ANY publicity seems to be good publicity.
Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542

Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.


Reply #3 on: September 07, 2006, 09:55:18 AM

Did she at least take the opportunity to blame the Jews for invading Poland?

The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #4 on: September 07, 2006, 09:59:50 AM

I would be shocked if she could even find Poland on a map. Or Europe, for that matter.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
shiznitz
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268

the plural of mangina


Reply #5 on: September 07, 2006, 10:18:28 AM

She knows Pole Land, not Poland.

I have never played WoW.
Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542

The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid


Reply #6 on: September 07, 2006, 11:03:05 AM

I'm pretty sure she could pick out Europe on a map, first try...if only by dumb luck - she wouldn't have many choices.

Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #7 on: September 07, 2006, 11:19:42 AM

Of course she can pick out Europe. It's where she picks up all her boyfriends.

Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #8 on: September 07, 2006, 06:30:35 PM

I wonder who drives worse, a smashed Paris Hilton or the blind guy?

Edit: Spelling is tough.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2006, 06:43:38 PM by Lantyssa »

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942

Muse.


Reply #9 on: September 07, 2006, 06:33:33 PM

We should challenge them to race each other or something.  It'll be fun.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Telemediocrity
Terracotta Army
Posts: 791


Reply #10 on: September 07, 2006, 11:53:56 PM

Someone here in Japan asked me the other day what I thought of the Paris Hilton sex tape.  I love how she's become one of our primary cultural exports to the world.
Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542

The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid


Reply #11 on: September 08, 2006, 12:43:41 AM

We don't have many other options it seems.

Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602

Rrava roves you rong time


Reply #12 on: September 08, 2006, 10:21:17 PM

Hey awesome, she's driving drunk.  That'll definitely help her party image.  Maybe next time she'll crash into an SUV and kill a 4-year-old, LOLPARTY!

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
Roac
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3338


Reply #13 on: September 11, 2006, 10:55:01 AM

Hey awesome, she's driving drunk.  That'll definitely help her party image.  Maybe next time she'll crash into an SUV and kill a 4-year-old, LOLPARTY!

That's hot.

-Roac
King of Ravens

"Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us." -SC
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #14 on: September 11, 2006, 05:20:21 PM

Can I hope for a tree instead?  One with spikes and other sharp pointy instruments embedded into it?

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542

Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.


Reply #15 on: September 11, 2006, 05:27:25 PM

Hey, what did trees do to deserve that? Lets hope she crashes into another pointless SUV driven by another pointless bimbette such as her pal Nicole.

The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #16 on: September 12, 2006, 09:02:52 AM

The tree would likely survive without too much damage.  If not we can give it a celebratory funeral pyre to thank it for its sacrifice.  Maybe a nice BBQ if the wood is right.  If it has any seeds or sapplings about its base we can sanctify and spread them about the country as beacons of justice and hope.

Your suggestion is nice.  I doubt fortune will smile that widely upon us though.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #17 on: September 12, 2006, 09:06:01 AM

Hey awesome, she's driving drunk.  That'll definitely help her party image.  Maybe next time she'll crash into an SUV and kill a 4-year-old, LOLPARTY!

That's hot.

Only if filmed in nightvision green.

NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353


Reply #18 on: September 12, 2006, 11:38:50 AM

spread them about the country as beacons of justice and hope.

I read that as 'bacons of justice and hope' and I really, really liked the idea but questioned the practicality of turning trees into bacon. Then my brain unfucked itself but I guess you could still use the wood to cook some bacon.

Hmm... bacon...

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Riggswolfe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8046


Reply #19 on: September 12, 2006, 12:14:50 PM

spread them about the country as beacons of justice and hope.

I read that as 'bacons of justice and hope' and I really, really liked the idea but questioned the practicality of turning trees into bacon. Then my brain unfucked itself but I guess you could still use the wood to cook some bacon.

Hmm... bacon...

I like how your mind works. Both of you actually.

"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
Arnold
Terracotta Army
Posts: 813


Reply #20 on: September 27, 2006, 03:35:38 PM

Hey awesome, she's driving drunk.  That'll definitely help her party image.  Maybe next time she'll crash into an SUV and kill a 4-year-old, LOLPARTY!

That's hot.

Only if filmed in nightvision green.

And talking on a cell phone!
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