Don't know if I agree with this.

[Llava]

This is on Warren Ellis's website, someone sent it in and he put it up.  This thread could end up in Politics, but I don't think anyone other than Velorath, Haemish and me read this forum regularly (and Stray and Simond), so it should stay mostly tame.

Here goes:

24/8/2006
HOWTO Screw Some Evangelist Maggots Right In The Wallet
Filed under:

    * researchmaterial

— warrenellis @ 10:33 pm

Jhayne Holmes says this:

    What with the Washington State Supreme Court handing down its anti-gay-marriage decision several weeks ago and the ever-hearing more about attacks on reproductive rights down south, I’m feeling that the States is tripping a bit too merrily down the Handmaid’s path.

    This week, I found a way to strike back.

    Focus on the Family, the horrid anti-gay evangelical church based in Colorado Springs that wields too much power for anyone’s good, has a store on their website that will give you books, CDs, and DVDs absolutely free of charge. Usually people pay for their items by donation, raising millions of dollars to help Focus on the Family produce more hate-propaganda featuring “experts” on homosexuality who claim it’s a curable “sickness”. (They’re practically defined by their book A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality. Course, there’s no mention of having less kids, which is the only proven method. No, no, you shouldn’t use birth control, that would be wrong. They need more worshippers, how dare you prevent god’s will.)

    It’s a little bit time-consuming, but not enough to deter me. (Nor should it you). The chance to take money out of their pockets is too useful, not to mention satisfying.

    Here’s how to do it in 10 steps:

    1. Go to www.family.org and look for the “Resources” link in the blue bar on the left-hand side, right above the “Search” box, and click it.

    2. Under the “Resource Category” menu on the left-hand side, you’ll notice categories such as “Homosexuality” under “Resource Category.” Me, I went straight to the CD’s and DVD’s under “Resource Format.”

    3. Go through, find something you like, such as the recently released movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe or The Chronicles of Narnia Radio Theatre Complete Set, suggested donation US $79.00, or the three disc Les Misérables soundtrack. It’s not a very wide range of products, but there’s bound to be something either you like or you could use as a sweet gift for someone else. Click the “Add to Cart” button.

    They won’t send more than $100 worth of materials for free in any given shopping trip, so be sure to go through a few times, until you’re sure you’ve dinged them.

    4. Select “Add New Shipping Address,” decide to send it yourself or someone else, and once you’re done picking up to $100, click “Proceed to Checkout.” Some people have been sending items to themselves to sell later on eBay, some have been ordering the more controversial items as conversation pieces or educational props, (as anti-anti-propaganda), but I plan on using mine as gifts, mostly. I’ve found no reports on receiving Focus on the Family junk mail after inputting an address, so I figure it’s fairly safe.

    5. The next screen asks you to sign-up for an account and give your information. Fill it out with fictitious information, enter whatever name and address you like. You might want to make up a phone number too and an e-mail account too. After filling out all the required fields, click “Proceed to Checkout” one more time.

    6. This will take you to the “Here is Your Cart” page. You may have to re-enter your data again after this part to actually confirm your account. Eventually, you’ll get to the “How Much Would You Like to Donate?” page.

    7. Select “Enter other total amount” and enter 0.00 as the amount you would like to pay. (Don’t put in a dollar sign or it will ask you for credit-card information.) Don’t be fooled by the field in the lower-right-hand corner that shows you the suggested donation amounts, simply Proceed to Checkout.

    8. The next screen is a guilt screen, to make you feel bad about how little you donated. ignore it. Ignore it utterly. Think of how many people they’re persecuted and had in their “gay kids can be cured” camps. Just proceed to checkout again.

    9. Click “Checkout Now.”

    10. Finally, pass this information on to all your friends. They’ve got money to back them, we have word of mouth, let’s see if we can win.

On the one hand, these could be some pretty shitty people.  On the other hand, the Buddhist in me says this isn't very enlightened activity.

[Velorath]

Well the site seems to be down now anyway.  I don't know shit about this church, and certainly not enough to take advantage of it though.  I don't agree with the whole "anti-gay" mentality, but that by itself doesn't make them horrid.  Maybe they are, but I wouldn't know it from what was written.

[HaemishM]

This is James Dobson and his bunch of cocksucking self-righteous twatflapps. Yeah, I'm doing this shit.

[Lantyssa]

*sniffle*  I read this section, too.

I also have three copies of Narnia on their way, if this works.  We'll see if they manage to filter it or not -- I was fairly blatant.

I wonder when they'll get the special edition in.

[Llava]

See but you only post like maximum once per thread, so I don't know if you really read this forum regularly or if you just come here when you're desperate for something to pass the time and the other forums offer nothing.

My apologies.  Lantyssa comes here, too.

[Lantyssa]

Don't mind me.  I was just being melodramatic.

[Telemediocrity]

If anyone deserves this, it's Dobson.  Do they really not send anything to your address?  If so, it might be macro-writing time.

[schild]

Ooooooh. Someone named Michelle W. Wilkner and her mother Cassandra just moved in with me. They've ordered....a lot of stuff.

There must be more places out there like this. Just saying. Cassandra Wilkner likes to "shop."

[Llava]

I'm ashamed of you all.

Or I would be, if I was a practicing Buddhist.  And if I was a GOOD practicing Buddhist, I wouldn't be ashamed of you all because I would love everything.

Jesus would also disapprove (the one the Bible describes, I mean, not the one Dobson made up).

Moses is probably cool with it.

[stray]

Moses would ponder on the legality of it for a few minutes, then segue into a discussion about good dieting.

[Lantyssa]

I am already the cause of every soldier in Iraq getting killed.  That sufficiently proves I have no morals and as such this is not beneath me.

Maybe the religious allegory in Narnia and learning how to spread His love through presents will teach me to be a better person.  If not, at least I get a DVD out of it.

[Velorath]

I am already the cause of every soldier in Iraq getting killed.  That sufficiently proves I have no morals and as such this is not beneath me.

You voted for Bush?

[Ironwood]

 


I read this bit too.  Just haven't read many comics recently (well, nowt new).  Currently horrified with the Civil War shit and the whole Ultimate series (all of them) dunking down the toilet.

[Lantyssa]

You voted for Bush?

No, I didn't.

[Llava]

You voted for Bush?

No, I didn't.

Which means she doesn't support the troops.

Which has an immediate and obvious effect on their morale.

Which is the measurment of Health in Lord of the Rings Online, so it's like she's killing them outright.

[Xerapis]

Sadly, far too many of the troops still blindly support that asshole.

You can bring up strong compelling arguments to which they respond:

"Well, I still think he's a good president.  I don't want to hear anything bad about him."

And these are the MI troops.

Of course, maybe the combat arms guys have more common sense.  Naw, they're probably still watching reruns of "you're either with us or against us".

[Llava]

Well, a friend of mine is a Marine who was in Iraq for a good long while, and he thinks this war is pretty fucking stupid.

[Lantyssa]

You voted for Bush?

No, I didn't.

Which means she doesn't support the troops.

Which has an immediate and obvious effect on their morale.

Which is the measurment of Health in Lord of the Rings Online, so it's like she's killing them outright.

Or it is because I am more or less a lesbian.  God kills our troops for that.  Seriously.

[Xerapis]

Naw, that can't be it, Lantyssa.

I'm gay AND a troop.  Does that mean I'm the first or last to go?

Doesn't matter either way, really.  I'm free in 153 more days.

After which, I will burn my stupid berets and buy some very anti-bush t-shirts to wear everywhere I go.

Well, I might be too busy sleeping in (by comparison) to bother with t-shirts...but definitely burning those stupid berets.

[Velorath]

You voted for Bush?

No, I didn't.

Please don't make me use green text or smileys when I jest.  A part of me will die if I do that.

[Llava]

< Why would you post this? >

[schild]

I agree with removal of that Hulk shit.





















But it was pretty funny.

[Llava]

I posted it because trauma loves company, and I thought some people here would get a laugh out of it.  Figured all the warnings were enough. <shrug>

[schild]

:P

[Lantyssa]

Please don't make me use green text or smileys when I jest.  A part of me will die if I do that.

I honestly wasn't sure and refrained from posting until Ironwood kindly showed me the humor in it.  (Go-go Asperger's.)  Once he had I decided to play straight man.

Naw, that can't be it, Lantyssa.

I'm gay AND a troop.  Does that mean I'm the first or last to go?

Xerapis, try having a chat with Fred Phelps about our acceptance.  If you heard about the protestors at military funerals over here, THAT is their reasoning.  Dobson of Focus on the Family (to tanget back towards the main subject) is only marginally better.

(Anyways, it was meant to be a snarky off-handed comment I ended up needing to explain.  I'll refrain from more as I'm likely to rant and cause another thread to be moved to politics.  I like this one here.)

[Llava]

I kinda think this one should be in Politics, though.

[Margalis]

I'm gay AND a troop.  Does that mean I'm the first or last to go?

I thought gay people couldn't be troops - you know because while the enemy is attacking instead of fighting they are hanging some nice paisely drapes.

[Triforcer]

I don't mean to offend troops or people who actually are gay, but I've always wondered what keeps people who are really, really, REALLY fucking miserable in the military from tonguing each other in front of their commanding officer.  Is it a dishonorable discharge? I can't see Clinton having set it up that way.

[Lantyssa]

I'd answer, but it would sound like I was male-bashing and it would be all political like.

[Llava]

I was thinking it wouldn't so much offer a discharge as it'd be a great way of ensuring that your remaining time in the military is going to suck as much as they can possibly make it, including the frequent beatings from other soldiers.  And not the good kind of beating.

[Azazel]

Damn, I should read this forum more often. Looks like the, erm, charity has left our Christian brothers and sisters. The Narnia DVD is no longer there, and I got this message when I tried to get the Complete Radio Theatre Set:

We are unable to process your request online as the amount you've chosen is less than the suggested donation. We may be able to complete your request, but you must first contact us directly at (800) A-FAMILY (232-6459) in order for us to assist you.

[Llava]

When you won't send something for anything less than the suggested donation, I'm pretty sure that's called a sale.

[Merusk]

When you won't send something for anything less than the suggested donation, I'm pretty sure that's called a sale.

No, because then you have to pay tax on it, and your 'friends' can't deduct it from their taxes.

Moral high ground, wha?