Fantasy Football Central

[WayAbvPar]

Oh and Way... please go to Seattle, walk up to Matt Hasselback and SLAP HIM IN THE FACE WITH YOUR DICK. What the fuck is wrong with that team? Darrell Jackson should be lighting up a team like Buffalo or at the very least able to catch a pass or two. How the fuck does Seattle's D allow Bledsoe... BLEDSOE FOR FUCK'S SAKE to put up 30-sumin' points?

Your boy Jackson dropped at LEAST 3 passes right in his fucking hands to kill drives. The offense was just unbelievably shitty, and Holmgren needs to be shoed in the nuts for a few hours. Why? Well, let me explain- Seattle has what many talking heads in the league refer to as the 'best left side offensive line in football'. They also have the league's leading rusher in Alexander. So what do they do most of the time? Run to the right, over their WORST O-lineman (G Chris Gray). 4 and goal at the 1, down by 10? Don't hand it to your Pro Bowl RB and run behind your 2 Pro Bowl OL. Kick a FG like a fucking pansy!

That fucking game pissed me off so bad it even carried over into my poker game (I started playing in the 2nd half to try to distract myself). I blew off $15 in about 10 minutes, realized I was playing poorly, said 'Fuck it' and took my wife to see The Incredibles (good flick).

Gahhh! Now I have a headache. GodDAMN the Seahawks. At least the Sonics are en fuego.

[El Gallo]

Sorry about the empty kicker slot, despite my results, I must confess that I am actually trying.  When I swapped around my roster the other day, I completely overlooked it in my lust to pick up Ricky Williams for comedy value.  The fact that I was high on pumpkin pie and on my parents' "two tin cans attached by a tight string" internet connection didn't help.   On the upside, Janakowski managed to somehow put up zero points, so it won't have any impact on the outcome.  

<Insert my weekly whine about Jamal & Steven D stabbing me in the back this season here>

[murdoc]

Seahawks game was pretty fun. When I first got the tix back in.. august I think... I was concerned it would be total dismantling of Buffalo, then the season started and I REALLY thought it would be a total dismantling of Buffalo.

Closer to gameday I figured it might be close... but I can honestly say I never thought Buffalo would absolutely dominate the Seahawks. Without the couple bad throws by Bledsoe that resulted in INTs, this game was OVER by 1/2 time.

Was still a blast. I had an insanely good time considering it was such a dud of a game. Lee Evans TD catch was RIGHT in front of us (8th row woo) and I kinda got a semi-blurry picture of it as I tried to aim my camera and not watch the game thru the little view finder.

Jackson sucks. There was a large sarcastic cheer when he finally caught a ball.

One thing that really impressed me was the class of the Seattle fans. As the game became apparent it was over and Buffalo was going to win, all around me Seattle fans were finding the nearest guy in a Buffalo jersey (lots in my section) and shaking their hands congratulating them on the win. Was very cool to see, especially with all the bad press sports fans are getting lately.

ps. On an unrelated note, Grammatica needs to have his ass FIRED promptly. Bucs might as well just go for the first down on 4th and whatever when they're in fieldgoal range.

[Rasix]

Nose Pickers     140.80    
Killer Koalas       68.18    

Aaaaannndddd he's in the playoffs.  This is not a game I expected to win.  Instead, it's a laugher.  It looks like the team was listening to me when I pointed out their lack of offensive touchdowns.  Everyone played well, not a single let down. Peyton, super plug in Goings, and C-Mart put forward huge fantasy games.  Still 2 more scores to go; this one could get silly.

Koalas got nothing from everyone not named Edge. Bulger: hurt; Moss: nothing; Crumpler: OMG, A SAFETY IS ON ME; Barber: "pitty me, my QB doesn't shave yet".

No significant points on the bench.  
   
Dean Martin's Liver      76.46
Pottsville Maroons    114.80    

Chambers and Culpepper(turnover machine) put decent points for Way, but not enough others contribute to make this game winnable.   Soukyan, on the other hand, gets enough solid performances to get by.  Nothing spectacular here, but enough to win (Andre Johnson did have a big yardage game, however).  Gates was held in check and I'm not sure why Dunn is still a starter.  

Enough points on the bench for Way to make Browns Monday night worth something.  Of course, when you're starting Donald Driver and Randy Moss and getting less combined points than Nate Burleson, perhaps God doesn't want you to win.  Souk leaves Kerry Collins's "it wasn't a fluke!" game on the bench.  
   
Murg's Maulers  78.44    
Natty Bohs    164.60

Boy am I glad I don't have to play the 'Bohs now. Natty Bohs, the hottest team in the league.. feels odd saying that. Westbrook just had a sick game. 48 fucking points.  This guy makes McNabb's job easy.  30 points out of Green, Byrant (WTF!?!?!?) and this one is a pancaking.  Heap and Johnson doing nothing matters little when you're riding 3 100 yard receiving games and 6 receiving touchdowns.

Joe Horn (/sigh) has a monster game and Roobie (/sigh) has a OK for real life, good for fantasy game.   However, Favre's horrible game pretty much made this game unwinnable for Murg.  Branch, Shockey, McAllister pretty much do nothing also.  

Charles Johnson's walk-the-walk game sits on the bench.  I guess I should be happy with Reggie Wayne, him winning me games and all that, but I still feel like a chump at times (this is mainly for Murg's benefit, bastard).

Kilt Wavers            127.60    
The Groin Pulls    88.18    

You'd think the reemergence of Portis and the dominance of Dillon would take a team somewhere, right? Not when the rest of your team stinks as righteously as Shockeye's. To be fair,  Carr, Smith, and Givens did jack (Givens fantasy value took a dive with Branch back).  Expecting something out of a New England TE is suicidal.

Haem braves the ride that is "Michael Vick, turnover experience". This guy can be simply jaw dropping amazing one week and then single handedly lose the game for his team the next. He has a way of pooch screwing ball games Dante Culpepper could only accomplish with two broken hands.  At times the man seems to embrace his inner Mark Brunell a bit too much.  Ok, off the negative, Haem gets great garbage time numbers out of Walker, an unexpected donkey punch from Ronald-flippin-Curry, and another bonzo-gonzo game out of JIHAD!; negating goose eggs from TEH BUS and Clark.

Haem also leaves 60 odd points on the bench.  Too little, too late, my friend.
   
Roosters                      111.94    
The Murdoc Bandwagon    105.36    

Amazing to think that someone could possibly lose behind McNabb's ludicrous-speed game.  Well, it's possible when you leave almost 95 points on the bench. There needs to be a rule about how many Chief's you're allowed on one team.  In Murdoc's starting lineup, Blaylock and Jackson don't do bad, but Clayton, Bruce and Gonzo fail to live up to expectations.

The first half of the Rooster's lineup produces well, including an actual fantasy game worth mentioning for Rothleswhatever. TO, despite being the equivalent of human sewage, once again produces big.  

Rooster's leave it all on the field, while Murdoc leaves enough points to beat 4 teams this week on the bench.  
   
DrunksOnGrass            127.64
McNair's Inebriates    133.34    

This game is still pretty much TBD. Can Witten + Julius Jones outpace Shawn Alexander and a handful of points? Toss up.

Stokely, the bane of my existence, puts up another waiver wire wonder number, while LT returns to his rightful place atop the San Diego offensive production. I can't help but feel pitty for a team that has to start a San Francisco player.  Poor poor Drunks.

Glamdring's boys get a ton of points out of New England, Aaron Brooks, Marcus Robinson and Tory Holt.  Boo Williams again, disappoints.  Thomas Jones is on the Bears.  

The Drunks leave Drew Bennet and his 33 points languishing in limbo.  I'm not sure why you wouldn't start him instead of Lelie.  At least Bennet is more spectacularly inconsistent.  

Still plenty of points to come.


Playoffs!

Looks like I'm in and in third(currently) due to Peyton Manning padding my point total all season. It is glorious to be riding the best season ever for a quarterback.

Looking at the schedules, next week will determine the 3 and 4 seeds.  If I win, I'm in third due to points.  If I lose and Murg loses, I'm in third due to points.  If I lose and Murg wins, well, I get to play the damn Bandwagon.  NOOOOOOO.

Koalas would have to win and score huge while Murdoc would need to go comatose for the Koalas to steal back first.  

Of course, if I win and the Koalas lose, I could be in second (depending on points).   I think. I'm starting to get confused.

Weeee.

[HaemishM]

I'm still trying to figure out how many teams make the playoffs. I don't think I have a shot thanks to last week's loss.

I looked at the numbers between Vick and Brady all week long. I vacillated, switching them each twice. Vick had decent TD numbers against the Bucs, while Brady had never thrown a TD against Cleveland. My first instinct was that Brady was a better match because Cleveland sucks, but I second-and-third-guessed myself and finally stuck with Vick. Fucking goose egg, thanks Mike.

Kevin Jones... holy fuck. Not that I needed his 30 points, but shit. Even though I knew it was a decent matchup for him, I still didn't think he'd put up a buck-96 and a TD to boot.

And I have to play the Marvin Harrison/Trent Green/Bryan Westbrook Natty Bohs next week? Shit. At least Westbrook is playing against the Redskins, so he probably won't rush for much.

[schild]

I don't know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touched a brother's heart.

Edit: I enjoy reading the drama. But I don't know shitall about football.

[El Gallo]

It was heartwarming to see my boys out there playing for pride, knocking off the #1 team in the league even though we're out of the race.  Brings a tear to my eye, and fills me with confidence for the 2005 season.  Obviously, I'll start with Lewis and Davis once again...

[WayAbvPar]

I don't know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touched a brother's heart.

Edit: I enjoy reading the drama. But I don't know shitall about football.

Foghorn thinks there is something kinda Eeeeeh about a boy who don't know shit about football =)

[Rasix]

How ya feeling right now, Way?  Seattle D shits the bed once again.

[Zetleft]

Julius came up big for me this game, and yes my one game hell of using a SF player due to injuries is over.  As far as lelie goes he has been scoring every week as has Bennett, downside of Bennett is he has alot of near TD dropped balls.  Oh well still won, not making the playoffs but at least I'm not at the bottom.

[MrHat]

Heheh.

4 weeks ago I was last place in my league.  Now I'm a play off contender.  Scored 241 points last week w/ McNabb-Westbrook, Hasselbeck, Mohammed, Lelie, J.Jones, and Portis finally did something useful.

[HaemishM]

How ya feeling right now, Way?  Seattle D shits the bed once again.

Goddamn that was fucking sickening. How shitty is your D that you can't even hold a fucking 10 point lead with 2 minutes left AGAINST FUCKING DALLAS? How much shittier is it that you can't sweep through the fucking NFC WEST FOR CHRISSAKES? I mean, you play Arizona AND San Francisco TWICE EACH. That's not even junior varsity level games. And you should at least win one game against the Rams, considering you play outside and they suck outside. That's 5 gimme games right there. And yet you struggle to maintain 6-6 and lose at home to DALLAS and BUFFALO in consecutive weeks?

Steve Largent wants his number back.

[WayAbvPar]

How ya feeling right now, Way?  Seattle D shits the bed once again.

To compound matters, I have Seattle's D in my big money league ($200 entry fee, winner pockets ~$1800- currently tied for 2nd)- they were worth 12 points until the last 3 minutes- over 30 points is a -10. FUCK.

I was out, so I TiVoed the game. I had heard some rumblings about it, but had no idea how it ended. I am pretty sure I woke my neighbors up at midnight screaming FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when Keyshawn caught that fucking pass (out of bounds, it would appear). I still feel sick- I was giddy when Alexander busted that run on 4-1 to APPARENTLY ice the game. Then POW- right in gonads.

Holmgren's ass is SO fired at the end of the year it isn't even funny.

[HaemishM]

I'm still trying to figure out WHY the Hawks are sucking so bad. It isn't for lack of talent, because that defense has some guys with major talent. But for whatever reason, they don't seem able or willing to play "four quarters of football." I mean, I can understand giving up a big lead to the Rams eariler in the year; it's the Rams, after all. But to the 49ers AND the Cowboys? UNPOSSIBLE!

[sidereal]

It's because the linebacking crew is absolutely terrible.  I mean, I like Kazjiwinewskivitz and Kotivelenopus and all, but we're playing a 4th string linebacking crew, which puts too much pressure on the line and the secondary.  Chad Brown was always, I thought, a marginal NFL linebacker, and now we're pining for him.

The Hawks offense feels funny.  It's like a Rubik's cube where it looks like you're so close because only one or two squares are off, so you diddle around for an hour and can't get it, because in fact you're completely fucked and nowhere near done, so the only solution is to tear it up and start over.

Holmgren shouldn't be blamed for the officiating crew upstairs brainfarting and refusing to look at a critical touchdown in the last 2 minutes.  He should be blamed for letting Dallas hang around long enough at home that it even mattered.

[MrHat]

I'm still trying to figure out WHY the Hawks are sucking so bad. It isn't for lack of talent, because that defense has some guys with major talent. But for whatever reason, they don't seem able or willing to play "four quarters of football." I mean, I can understand giving up a big lead to the Rams eariler in the year; it's the Rams, after all. But to the 49ers AND the Cowboys? UNPOSSIBLE!

Didn't they have a bunch of injuries on defense like 5 weeks in?

I swapped out that defense for turnover happy Cin.

[murdoc]

I think I found the weakness to my team... it's run by me.


I think Seattle is missing 4 of their starting linebackers, but that final drive by Dallas was impessive. You don't see many last minute 57 yard drives that include only one pass reception for I believe 13 yards. The rest was all Jones and ineptitude of the Seattle defense.

[Rasix]

Since I've been buried at work, I'll try to make this a short, short version.  

Playoffs next week, this week was pretty much just jockeying for position and for pride.

Nose Pickers  97.52          
Pottsville Maroons    113.36    

Damn, I lost.  Lack of performance from the kicker, D and Keyshawn didn't help much. Also, a nice chunk of points left on the bench.  Common Manning, 2 touchdowns, no picks and almost 300 yards. Goddamn slacker.

Soukyan rides Davis's big game to victory (this guy has been dynamite since I dissed him).  Baltimore also put forth a huge performance making Eli Manning look like Tim Hasselback.
   
Dean Martin's Liver vs    107.20    
Murg's Maulers    115.40    

Mediocre game from both teams.  Chris Brown could have done a lot better for Way. Two fumbles, OUCH MY TOE.  

Murg wins (only playoff bound team to)  third place and the right to face the slumping Koalas in the playoffs.  
   
Kilt Wavers     116.70    
Natty Bohs    110.76    

Close game.  Arc leaves KC's D on the bench (rightfully) and loses due to it.  JIHAD once again performs well for the Wavers.  

Haem leaves the current hottest D and Capt. Falafel's big games resting on the bench.
   
Roosters     69.66    
The Groin Pulls   122.06    

Shockeye sends last year's champs home in a nice humiliating fashion. You're not going to win a game when your highest point producer is Pitt's D at 15.  

Shockeye gets good games from Hasselback, Portis, Smith and Dillon to make his season a bit less embarrassing.

DrunksOnGrass     202.64   
The Murdoc Bandwagon    130.00    

Holy fucking Drew Bennet.  Yet another player I could have gotten for Reuben Droughns.  This guy just slaughers shitty defenses.  Highest point total of the year involves 3 scores of more than 36 points.  Nearly a 100 points between Bennett and Volek. Ouch.

Murdoc leaves a good amount of points on the bench but it's not going to touch 202 points.
   
McNair's Inebriates     102.48    
Killer Koalas    89.16    

Inebriates win to bring their record up to an NFC playoff worthy 6-8.  Koalas drop their 2nd in a row and fail to break 100 again.  

Both teams leave points on the bench.  Hey, I'm tired.  This game wasn't that interesting.  If I'm the Koalas I want Bulger back. Plummer is a fantasy crap shoot (more just crap lately).  

Playoffs!

Murdoc v. Rasix (Nose Pickers)

The matchups don't favor me in this one.  Hopefully Atlanta can play KC tough or I'm meat.

Jamiko (Koalas) v. Murgos

Interesting machups with this one.  I'd rate Murg as the favorite as the Koalas just haven't looked that impressive lately.  Edge should be a non factor this week as well (I'm usually spectacularly wrong with these type of predictions).

Fun season!  

Some quick notes:

Way finishes 4th in points but is 6-8 and in 7th place.  Also loses his last 3 games of the season.

Souk only has 4 roster moves all season and finishes in 5th.  Some better roster management could have possibly put him in the playoffs.

3 of the 4 playoff teams lose in the last week.  The two top teams are riding back to back losses.

Haem wins the Most-Roster-Moves award with 25 waiver pickups.  I held the lead in this through most of the season.  

I lose 2 of my top 5 picks with the same broken bone.

Peyton Manning can single handedly carry you to the playoffs.

The Bus still has gass in the tank.

The Chiefs may suck, but they're fantasy gold.


Two weeks until we crown our champ. Weeee.

[Zetleft]

Sure I missed the playoffs by a mile but I beat the hell out of Murdoc and that's really what matters in the end :p

[HaemishM]

This league was a fun one for me, because I didn't really have any BIG names like the Priest Holmes or Marvin Harrison's. I did all right with smaller names like Javon Walker and, of course, THE BUS during the weeks Staley was hurt. Most of my wins and losses were only by differences of 20 points or less. I finished 8th in points, but 6th in the standings. I still like the head2head style of play, because it favors good roster management with a bit of luck as well.

I'd say probably 1/4 of all my roster moves were trying to settle on a good defensive matchup. I started the year with Tennessee and Indy's D and ended it using Indy's D, but got no real consistent defense. I also spent most of the year trying to get a 2nd wideout and a tight end to give me consistent points. It wasn't until JIHAD and the Panthers got their shit together that I got that, and never got it with a TE.

Ah well, I can still look at my Morlocks League team which has only lost 1 game!

[WayAbvPar]

Way finishes 4th in points but is 6-8 and in 7th place. Also loses his last 3 games of the season.

To quote myself earlier in the thread-

I also HATE HATE HATE head to head leagues. Invariably I have a high scoring team with a mediocre record due to the fact that my opponents always have their top score of the year against me. Next year, I am gonna set up a points race (maybe one that goes through the Superbowl, if that is possible). It is a far better indicator of which team is superior, IMHO.

Not that I am bitter.

/shakes fist feebly

[Shockeye]

I am... the basement. I am the suck. I am humiliation. I am the Groin Pulls.

[Jamiko]

Yeah, I sure went in the tank lately. Tiki Barber went from the ultra stud to mega pansy. I don't expect anything out of him next week against the Steelers either. Bulger may be back, but I'm not confident enough to play him. Perhaps Kansas City will allow Jake to toss a few in the endzone. Perhaps. I don't like my chances.

[HaemishM]

I could throw touchdown passes against KC's defense. To myself.

Tiki is a victim of the same thing Eli is a victim of. Hard to run/throw the ball when the offensive line couldn't block Lucy and the Peanuts gang.

[Soukyan]

Ack! You're right. A couple roster changes during my loss of Pennington and I would have made the playoffs with no problem whatsoever. Ah well. It was a fun season to be sure and I look forward to next year. I enjoy head to head leagues because it's nice to have a surprise week with lucky wins sometimes. Gives it more of that "Any Given Sunday" feel that makes American football so fun.

[El Gallo]

While they could have put a little more effort out in the last game, I am proud of the hard work my boys put in over the season.  But for a few injuries and drug suspensions, we would've been right up there.  I feel we will have a strong team next year, and bring the title back to the chicken coop where it belongs.

I also have to speak out in favor of the head-to-head system.  It almost screwed me last year, but it makes the season more fun.  I stayed awake through a couple Monday night games that I normally would have slept through because of the head-to-head matchups.  Raw points makes things more dull in my opinion, and you pretty much know who is going to win the season by week 3, barring some ACL tears.

[Rasix]

Ack! You're right. A couple roster changes during my loss of Pennington and I would have made the playoffs with no problem whatsoever.

Hey, I'm happy you missed the playoffs.  It saved me of having the second highest point total and missing the playoffs by one spot for the second straight year.

[WayAbvPar]

NFL to crack down on touchdown dances

I am guessing the TO pom poms bit is out, but who knows?

[HaemishM]

Pure genius.

[Rasix]

I will compose myself and perhaps write something later.  I will, however, say one thing.

Fucking Chiefs.

Note: This does not mean I like the Broncos. Fuck them too for allowing Kennison and Grandmama to pour on the points.

[Paelos]

Fire Shanananananahan.


That is all.

[WayAbvPar]

Jeebus the Seahawks are bad. I hope I can find a way to be in Vegas for their inevitable (and wholly undeserved) playoff appearance- it will likely be at home, which means the line won't be as lopsided as it should be. Easy money!

[murdoc]

Yay Chiefs!

[HaemishM]

The NFC West is a hot potato no one wants to hold onto. The Rams or the Seahawks should have RUN AWAY with that division like Atlanta did with the Dirty South. Of course, the NFC North seems just as bad, since Green Bay apparently can't stop ANYBODY. Fucking Mike Sherman; the D Coordinator wasn't the problem, it was the D. KGB, Nick Barnett and Al Harris are the best you have; Grady "One More Plate of Mashed Potatoes" Jackson being a crucial part of their run D is just criminal. That clothesline on Ferguson probably wasn't intentional, but goddamn that was an ugly hit.

Oh to have a looped replay of TO going down. OWWIES. Especially to hear the sound of what might be a ligament popping (he said he thought he heard a pop). I don't say that kind of stuff about any player, except maybe TO and Keyshawn. Go AWAY.

[WayAbvPar]

That clothesline on Ferguson probably wasn't intentional, but goddamn that was an ugly hit.

Yeah, that was vicious. Gonna cost him a few grand, methinks.

Oh to have a looped replay of TO going down. OWWIES. Especially to hear the sound of what might be a ligament popping (he said he thought he heard a pop). I don't say that kind of stuff about any player, except maybe TO and Keyshawn. Go AWAY.

Heh. I can't believe TO claims to have heard anything pop- how could he, with his goddamned mouth running at all times? I rarely dislike anyone enough to wish injury upon them, but I would love to see TO go out Theismann-style. Especially if shards of his femur flew up and took out his vocal cords.