Fantasy Football Central

[HaemishM]

Your very soul.

[Jamiko]

Well, I knew my undefeated record wouldn't last all year. I sort of figured I'd lose this weekend with Edge and Tiki on byes.

It was fun while it lasted...

[El Gallo]

Looks like I may have given up on Antonio Bryant too early, he got traded to a team that may actually throw to him. Then again, that team is the Browns, so I won't lose much sleep over it.

[HaemishM]

You actually think Jeff Garcia will throw to him anymore than he was throwing to Morgan or anyone else on that team? One has to have blocking to throw a pass.

[murdoc]

McNabb + Holmes = a pretty damn good week for me so far.

[Rasix]

Uggg, I think I should have gone for another player in my trade (I'm way too goddamn accomodating).  I don't think Peyton even looked at Wayne more than the two times he threw to him.  Here's a hint Peyton: he's not the white guy.  At least I've got a lot of depth now at WR, a single injury shouldn't hurt me much at all and Boldin should be ready to go in a week or two.

Ohh well, I don't think I'd even start Droughns beyond matchups just because I already have two, steady productive RBs.

[El Gallo]

Well, I had by biggest point output of the season and still only barely beat a team that was playing two bye-week players.  Go Roosters.  I really need The Man to get off Jamal, and I need Steven Davis to stop being such a wuss.

[Soukyan]

Well, I had by biggest point output of the season and still only barely beat a team that was playing two bye-week players.  Go Roosters.  I really need The Man to get off Jamal, and I need Steven Davis to stop being such a wuss.

Yeah. I literally had nobody to use in place of my Bye week wideouts. I figured I'd give it a shot with 0 points from both. Even with my one really shitty backup, I still would have lost by ~10 points. I just couldn't make the bench space for the lousy wide receivers that were available. Bleh. I probably blew my whole season with the decision...

[El Gallo]

That jillion points the Ravens D came up with almost carried you through anyway.

[WayAbvPar]

Fuck me to tears. I had one of the worst hangovers of my life yesterday, and then I had to watch the goddamned Seahawks tapdance all over their dicks in Az. That was as pathetic a display of 'football' as I have seen in a while. I am blaming Jerry Rice.

[HaemishM]

At least you got to see a decent matchup. Fuck, I had to watch Atlanta get their shit pushed in for 4 quarters against KC, or watch Steve McNair's sucking chest wound. THEN, just for added insult, the Saints/Raiders game came on, and was a better game than both of them. It's just painful to watch fucking Aaron Brooks receivers just drop everything for 2 quarters. And to top it all off, ESPN had no night time game. Fuck you very much.

I'm hoping both Droughns and Chad Johnson blow it tonight, or I could be sunk. If Droughns has his normal game, I'm fucked in the f13 pool.

[El Gallo]

Well, I am in for a nailbiter against Murg tonight, 5.7 point lead but he has a WR tonight against the lowly (but respectable pass-defending) Dolphins.  Funny that we both made pretty big lineup mistakes with him getting very little from Farve while Brees racked up a jillion points on his bench, while I got nothing from Byron L and little from the Bolts D with Roethlisberger and the Steelers D sitting on mine.

Is Steven Davis ever coming back?

[Rasix]

Interesting week.  Bad news for my team, as it looks like the curse of Fred Taylor is renewing itself.  Fucking fragile bastard.

Here's the 1 minute wrapup of the weeks pre MNF:

Nose Pickers  (me) 124.38
McNair's Inebriates (glamdring) 57.00  
 
Not a hard win when your opponent forgets half his team is on a bye.  Bench points wouldn't have mattered anyhow.  Curtis Martin gets to pad the score tonight.
 

Dean Martin's Liver  (wayabvpar) vs 65.24
The Murdoc Bandwagon 133.86  

The bandwagon rolls on while the liver takes a beating. No Randy Moss and subpar Dante hurt. 2 scores left to be decided by MNF won't matter.  
 

Pottsville Maroons (soukyan) vs 107.90  
DrunksOnGrass (zetlef) 73.76  

A bad AZ defense and underperforming hurt the Drunks.  Soukyan runs away with this one.
 
 
Murg's Maulers (murgos, duh) vs 76.06  
Roosters (El Gallo) 81.78  
 
This one is still in progress. Can McCareins make up the points after Murg leaves 43 points out of Drew Brees on the bench (how did this guy all of the sudden learn how to play, he couldn't throw a fucking slant last year. A SLANT!!! My 6 year old nephew already has that throw down)? Roosters get hurt by shitty performances from Lord Byron and Fitzgerald (a whole lot of Steeler's points on that bench too).
 
 
Kilt Wavers (haemish) vs 82.64  
Killer Koalas (who is this again?) 155.76  
 
Haem leaves 60 odd points on the bench (wouldn't have mattered) and gets fucking creamed.  Goddamn Tiki Barber, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I PICK THIS GUY? Ohh yah, I forgot that everyone said big Ron Dayne was coming back. Fuck, I'll fall for anything.  Of course, Plummer and Rod Smith's mutant performances helped some.  

Fucking Koalas, this guy has Alge Crumpler riding the bench. THE BENCH. GRRRR.  With him in they would have scored near 170. Jeeeebus.
 
 
The Groin Pulls (shockeye) vs 83.44
Natty Bohs (arc) 111.66  

Battle for the basement ends with the following conclusion:  Shockeye sucks more. Didn't help that Dillon didn't play and Graham did nothing (risk you take with NE TEs). Shockeye leaves a decent amount of points on the bench.
 
 
Best case scenario (murg loses) I'm in 3rd.  Worst, I'm in 4th.  Good enough.

[Jamiko]

Killer Koalas (who is this again?) 155.76

That'd be me. Nobody really.

Fucking Koalas, this guy has Alge Crumpler riding the bench. THE BENCH. GRRRR. With him in they would have scored near 170. Jeeeebus.

Yeah I screwed up this week. Johnson has been dominating but on a spiral lately. I won't let that happen again.

Goddamn Tiki Barber, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I PICK THIS GUY?

I love that guy. He's 2 players in one. MVP all the way.

[Shockeye]

The Groin Pulls (shockeye) vs 83.44
Natty Bohs (arc) 111.66  

Battle for the basement ends with the following conclusion:  Shockeye sucks more. Didn't help that Dillon didn't play and Graham did nothing (risk you take with NE TEs). Shockeye leaves a decent amount of points on the bench.

Let's see, I have no faith in Plaxico since he shit on me for the first 4 weeks and benching Dillon the day of the game fucked me over nicely or else I would've played my NE WR in the WR/RB spot and I would've won by 2 points instead of losing by 28. I am low man on the scrotum pole and I'm about to throw in the towel. At this point my only hope is to win survival football.

[Rasix]

At this point my only hope is to win survival football.

Goddamn Colts.

Edit: Feel free to start giving away Plaxico or Smith.  Really, you can have Eddie George or the gimp child Tim Rattay in trade.

[HaemishM]

Fuck me, but the football yesterday rolled over me like a fucking Mack truck. Just about every game went the exact opposite of how I thought it should. I mean, New England and Tom Brady just absolutely shit the bed. The Colts lay an egg. Minnesota bit it big time. I think the only games I picked right were the Pack, the Eagles and the Seahawks. Luckily, it appears I'm 3 out of 4 in leagues, only losing the f13 league. I'm fading fast.

How was I to know Muhammed would finally catch a ball? Or that Vick and the Falcons would learn what the endzone looked like against Denver? Amazingly enough, the one big gamble I took (starting Kevin Jones over Duce Staley at RB) turned out to be a positive, since Jones caught a TD pass and Staley didn't score.

[Murgos]

Best case scenario (murg loses) I'm in 3rd.  Worst, I'm in 4th.  Good enough.

I r weener.  Joo luz!

P.S. How you like Reggie Wayne this week?

[Rasix]

P.S. How you like Reggie Wayne this week?

Good. The man has great points potential when Manning realizes he's on the team.  He just tends to disappear at times when Manning gets zero'd in on Stokely.  I think one of my other two options (you gave) would have been a better choice, but then again, you might not have agreed to the trade.

Of course, Droughns might be needed soon here with Fragile Fred getting hurt and Lamont Jordan doing well in garbage time for the Jets.  If Edwards turns that situation into a running back-by-comittee, he's the biggest idiot on the planet.  But I have faith that the Jets aren't stupid enough to think a 1-2 punch actually works except when one guy needs a breather or you're up by 20.

Next week's going to be rough. I'll score decent but I think Murdoc will just blow me out of the water.  150-120 is the likely score.  Another 3 scores for Priest combined with big days for some of the soft matchups (except for McNabb v. Pit) will make this one painful.

[MrHat]

Bah, I woke up late last Sunday and forgot to sub out McNair and Westbrook.

And I still only lost by 3 points.  Wtf.

[murdoc]

I think I'm through my bye weeks now for the most part with a minimal amount of damage.

It'll be nice being able to field my full team this week.

[Rasix]

Nose Pickers vs 36.70 Match
The Murdoc Bandwagon 100.92  

Well, I'm getting creamed.  Apparently no one on my team knows where the end zone is.  Being on the recieving end of some spectacular blowouts isn't a good way to score points.  Murdoc gets hurt by crappy McNabb and non existant Stallworth.  An amazing Gonzo game and a OMG WTF game from Vinateri helped. Both left a good reciever performances on the bench.  

Monday Night decides this one.  Can Peyton, Reggie Wayne and Jerome Wiggins put up 65 combined points? I'm guessing no and I record my lowest point total of the season because everyone deciding to be an underachiever on the same week hurts.  
 
Dean Martin's Liver vs 47.70
The Groin Pulls 97.60  
 
Byes hurt Way badly.  Starting unspectacular players won't get you a win (trust me, I know).  Shockeye leaves a decent amount of points on the bench and gets a goose egg from Graham.  

Still, if Culpepper doesn't break 50 points. He's got a win.  
 
 
Pottsville Maroons vs 100.24
McNair's Inebriates 102.72  

Will the players that don't even look at their rosters all week please stand up?  Jesus Christ.  If neither of you want Dominick Davis or Willis McGahee, let me know.  Both players fail to manage byes and injuries well and thus leave major points on the bench.

Glamdring pulls this one off unless Marcus Robinson suits up and manages to post negative yards and fumble mutliple times.   Soukyan got hurt by subpar AJ and Chad P performances.
 
Murg's Maulers vs 133.28
DrunksOnGrass 80.04  
 
SCARY LINEUP ALERT.  The Maulers.. well.. maul; even with Joe Horn performing like a Raider's wideout.   Drunks have some points to bring come Monday, but will lose this one handily.  Underperforming Garcia and gimpy boy wonder Roy Williams hurts the Drunks.
 
Kilt Wavers vs 96.06
Roosters 85.62  
 
Roosters still hope that Stephen Davis will magically ungimp himself. Fitz or Sammie Morris would have been a better fit, being able bodied and all.   Staley being out hurts Haem some.  

Can Marcus Pollard score 11 points? That's a bet I would never, ever touch.  
 
Natty Bohs 102.16
Killer Koalas 92.20  
 
Koalas leave some major points on the bench while Arc leaves just a little.  Tiki Barber and Treen Green (took him long enough) continue to be fantasy monsters.  

So, the equation for Monday night is... if Marvin Harrison + 9.blah point cushion > Nate Burleson + Edge.  I'd like to see arc pull this one out.. but I think the Koalas win via Burleson being one of the few able bodied Minnesota WRs and Edge running against the football equivalent of paper mache.

Edit: Yep, lot of points on the bench for Haem.  Tough calls though.

[HaemishM]

Injuries and bye's fucked me. Had I known Staley would not start, I'd have had Bettis, who would have at least given me points. Same goes for Jackson, who I didn't think would start, and ends up with 2 TD's. Still, Pollard likely won't get enough to hand me a loss.

And thank you very much, Vinny Testeverde and the Cincy Bengals D. 3 INT's, 2 fumbles and a handy 28 points were my top performers!

[Jamiko]

Koalas leave some major points on the bench while Arc leaves just a little.

Damn that Santana Moss. He was supposed to be a top 10 WR and he has been worthless. I finally give up on him and he decides to produce. I hope Edge has a monster night, for more reasons than my ffl team. The Vikings deserve another good beating.

[Soukyan]

Injuries and bye's fucked me. Had I known Staley would not start, I'd have had Bettis, who would have at least given me points. Same goes for Jackson, who I didn't think would start, and ends up with 2 TD's. Still, Pollard likely won't get enough to hand me a loss.

And thank you very much, Vinny Testeverde and the Cincy Bengals D. 3 INT's, 2 fumbles and a handy 28 points were my top performers!

Some points? Bettis racked up 149(?) yards in that game.

Yes, I was looking at my roster during the week and was getting ready to adjust it when I was interrupted at work and never got back to making the changes. I had a wonderful "oh fuck!" moment yesterday while listening to the Steelers game when I realized I had left two byes in my starting lineup. Moral of the story? Don't make roster changes at work.

There go my hopes for a post-season, too. *sigh* Fuck.

[Rasix]

There go my hopes for a post-season, too. *sigh* Fuck.

Not terribly.  If I some how pull off a victory, I'm in 4th alone with the two cellar dwellers (I'll lose to at least 1) coming up, which would hurt your chances.  If I lose (the likely outcome), we're in likely a three way tie for 4th with me ahead on points, but without any sort of commanding lead (except on Haem).  If Way pulls his game out, then it's a 4 way tie for 4th with Way in the lead.

Of course, if Haem loses, just subtract Haem from the above paragraph :)

5 games to go though, and the battle for 4th will be a tough one.  After playing the dung heap, I have to retread through the Liver, Koalas, and Maroons.  I think I get to play for the consolation prize again this year. A 3-2 record in those might be enough to squeeze in though.

Edit: Heh, looks like our week 14 matchup might be of fair importance.

Edit #2: Looks like your season took another blow: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/football/nfl/11/08/bc.fbn.jets.pennington.ap/index.html

[El Gallo]

Injuries and bye's fucked me. Had I known Staley would not start, I'd have had Bettis, who would have at least given me points. Same goes for Jackson, who I didn't think would start, and ends up with 2 TD's. Still, Pollard likely won't get enough to hand me a loss.

To be fair, I started Steven Davis because he once again said he would play and didn't, so I got zero in that slot instead of the 20+ Larry Fitzgerald racked up.  But, fool me twice and all that.

Unless Pollard comes through for me, it looks like I will be penning my concession speech this week.

[Shannow]

and a OMG WTF game from Vinateri helped.

heh heh. Best TD ever.

[Soukyan]

Edit: Heh, looks like our week 14 matchup might be of fair importance.

Edit #2: Looks like your season took another blow: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/football/nfl/11/08/bc.fbn.jets.pennington.ap/index.html

Yes and yes. The big guy upstairs really likes me... really...

[HaemishM]

Shit, Pennington goes down and Quincy Carter is the Jets QB. So much for a Super Bowl run.

[Shannow]

heh, on another note anyone else watching TO begin the slow path to self destruction in Philly?

[sidereal]

Not in-league, but just so you can share my pain, I need Marvin Harrison to stay under 14 points tonight for me to take 1st in my league.  I can absorb 1 touchdown and 79 yards.

[Dark Vengeance]

Not in-league, but just so you can share my pain, I need Marvin Harrison to stay under 14 points tonight for me to take 1st in my league.  I can absorb 1 touchdown and 79 yards.

Same for me in Corpnews 2. Only it's Reggie Wayne, and I can absorb a maximum of 119 yards and 1 TD.

If I lose, it'll be 2 weeks straight I've lost with the 2nd highest score in that league.

Bring the noise.
Cheers............

[El Gallo]

In this week's episode of As f13 Turns, Marcus Pollard guest stars in the role of Haemish's daddy,

[Soukyan]

Can Marcus Pollard score 11 points? That's a bet I would never, ever touch.  
 

Remind me to bet against you next time. ;)