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Author Topic: The Sort of Thing You Can't Make Up  (Read 3640 times)
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on: July 27, 2006, 11:16:06 PM

The Sort of Thing You Can\'t Make Up

From a press release:

"Big Screen Entertainment Group Announces Its First MMO Video Game
HOLLYWOOD --(Business Wire)-- July 27, 2006 Big Screen Entertainment Group (OTC:BSEG) is proud to announce that development is underway on its first "massively multiplayer online" PC game.

...

Big Screen's MMO will incorporate elements of the company's upcoming horror/thriller, "Babysitter Wanted" and will be geared toward the 14+ teen through adult market. The title for the game will be announced in the next few weeks.

BSEG will roll out the game in two separate stages. Initially, a working MMO will be released within the next twelve months. The game's platform will be constantly updated offering subscribers new challenges and character options.

In phase two, the game will be upgraded to "Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game" (MMORPG). MMORPGs give users the ability to role play inside the real time virtual world as well as play against others. BSEG will concurrently make the game compatible for the popular XBOX, PlayStation 3, and comparable platforms as well.

"We're excited to have acquired all the components needed to make this a profitable, exclusive, feature rich, one of a kind MMO which will tie in nicely with BSEG's aggressive participation in advancing technology," stated BSEG's Daniel Silverstein.

"I'm extremely pleased with the deal we've made to produce the MMO," added Big Screen CEO, Kimberley Kates. "We are working with top notch developers and programmers who will adapt the most exciting and game worthy set pieces from our upcoming motion picture, 'Babysitter Wanted. And the cross marketing potential for both the game and film is phenomenal.""


This is the sort of shit that writes itself. If every piece of news in the gaming industry were like this I'd be out of a fake job. There's nothing I can do or say to make this funnier.
Telemediocrity
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Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 02:06:50 AM

That's the silver lining of an economic recovery that's gone disproportionately to the wealthy; venture capitalists will waste their money on stupid shit like this, and eventually the wealth will trickle down to the grunts hired to make and market the thing.  Hooray?
pxib
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Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 02:15:56 AM

This is what happens when people are rich and well-connected enough to actually execute their "I'll bet I could make the ultimate MMO" plans.

"Busy day at the Dracula factory and there's only two of us on the assembly line, so I have to make every second count."
Tannhauser
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Posts: 4436


Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 08:07:47 AM

I'd just like to take a moment to announce my new mmorpg.  It's called "MMORPG: The Cashening" (TM).  In it players assume the role of trust fund babies and, seeing the wild success of WoW, decide to make their own MMORPG (TM).  Players must be able to attract venture capitalists with wild subscription promises, and players with wild promises of fetuspults, housing and a ponie.

Some players will have an unrevolutionary but well-polished game while others will frantically redo their games combat system every year.

It will be released this Christmas exclusively on the N-Gage.  Hello Kitty
Special J
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Reply #4 on: July 28, 2006, 08:44:14 AM

We're proud to announce the greatest MMO evar! It's so good we can't tell you what its called or what its about. In fact it's so good, that it will transform itself into a MMORPG!

Uhhhh. WTF?  So, even the title is vapourware?  Did I read right that it is being produced as tie in to a movie?  That will be great!
Sky
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I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


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Reply #5 on: July 28, 2006, 09:11:54 AM

It will be released this Christmas exclusively on the Phantom
FIFY

Hoax
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l33t kiddie


Reply #6 on: July 28, 2006, 09:59:15 AM

This thread delivers?

A nation consists of its laws. A nation does not consist of its situation at a given time. If an individual's morals are situational, then that individual is without morals. If a nation's laws are situational, that nation has no laws, and soon isn't a nation.
-William Gibson
damijin
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Reply #7 on: July 28, 2006, 10:08:32 AM

This thread delivers?

In a "woops there goes the genre" kind of way.
geldonyetich
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The Anne Coulter of MMO punditry


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Reply #8 on: July 28, 2006, 10:46:27 AM

There are times I think to myself,
"Hmm, you know, this game would have been better if it weren't a MMORPG."

A game based off of a horror movie about stalking babysitters... Hmm, you know, this game would be better if it wasn't a MMORPG.

Yoru
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Posts: 4615

the y master, king of bourbon


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Reply #9 on: July 28, 2006, 01:24:20 PM

A game based off of a horror movie about stalking babysitters... Hmm, you know, this game would be better if it wasn't a MMORPG.

You never played Night Trap back on the Sega CD, eh?
HaemishM
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Posts: 39564

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and other troops you control.


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Reply #10 on: July 28, 2006, 04:26:17 PM

Maybe they are going to try to make it an MMOG on the Interactive Movie a la Indigo Prophecy principle?

From a game mechanic standpoint, it could be interesting. But Babysitters Wanted? Cocaine is a helluva drug!

Sky
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Posts: 29880

I love my TV an' hug my TV an' call it 'George'.


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Reply #11 on: July 31, 2006, 08:24:39 AM

Girls Gone Wild, Katrina Edition: The MMO.

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