Sponsor a Child

[Engels]

Oh, the kid is to be a scottsman!? Why didn't you say so. Call him Glenfiddich. Everyone will know then.

[Sky]

Tater Salad.

[Comstar]

Shodan

[Righ]

Oh, the kid is to be a scottsman!? Why didn't you say so. Call him Glenfiddich. Everyone will know then.

I think you mean Scotttttsman. Also, I prefer Bruichladdich.

[Signe]

Tater Salad.

Oh, I like this one.  Well, the tater bit, maybe not the salad.  I don't like it as much as Sloopy, but it's good.  I didn't know Sloopy had such a history with Ohio... is that a bad thing or a good thing?

[Engels]

I think you mean Scotttttsman.

Shh, I'm trying to bait Signe

[Signe]

You'll never catch me using that sort of bait!  Diamond mines are a good start, however.

[Sky]

Because Sig is all about enslaving africans under a military regime supported by western capitalism.

[Yegolev]

I am Signe Lorraine, my mother was Lilliana Rotillia, my father is Sigurd Lars and my sister is Linda Sue.  Only go with my sister's name if you live in a trailer in Brewton, Alabama.

I attended community college in Brewton.

[WayAbvPar]

I am Signe Lorraine, my mother was Lilliana Rotillia, my father is Sigurd Lars and my sister is Linda Sue.  Only go with my sister's name if you live in a trailer in Brewton, Alabama.

I attended community college in Brewton.

That is a dirty lie. We all know there are no colleges in the Deep South. At least ones that educate people instead of being an excuse to play SEC football 

[Yegolev]

Shodan

SHODAN is a girl's name.  And it should be ALL CAPS.

For a boy, I suggested several names before my wife stopped listening to me.  One was Xander, and one was Siward after the mythical first Armstrong.  Another was Megatron.  A kid named Megatron isn't likely to have his lunch money stolen.  Skeletor was also suggested to me but didn't really fit.  My family mostly has boring traditional names like Robert and William, however there was a Romey, an Early and Alkis.  Early was not short for anything, and neither was Romey, which might have been spelt Romy.  My mom's stepdad was Ervin.

There's a guy that works for my wife's company named Hoak.  I like that one for some reason.

[Yegolev]

That is a dirty lie. We all know there are no colleges in the Deep South. At least ones that educate people instead of being an excuse to play SEC football 

Alabama is littered with two-year schools, thanks to Lurleen B. Wallace.  Not ironically, she has one named after her.  Not the one in Brewton.  I should have gone to a four-year school, of which there are far fewer.

Once, while driving south out of Brewton, I saw a marquee next to a plywood juke-joint that read:

TONIGHT
      FOGHAT

If I wasn't afraid of being stabbed, I might have went to check it out.

[Polysorbate80]

Another was Megatron.  A kid named Megatron isn't likely to have his lunch money stolen.  Skeletor was also suggested to me but didn't really fit.

How about Kal-el?

Yes, I know a kid named that.  No, he doesn't yet realize who he's named after.

[Signe]

Xander is short for Alexander and Cevik already named his son that.  I like Megatron, though.  Maybe even more than Sloopy or Ohio.  I would name my son Megatron.

[schild]

Page 4?

Schild.

[Azazel]

Bob.

Bob? that's bit of a girl's name, isn't it?

Call him Rocco.

Works as an Italian name, because, it is one. But he can also be Rocky, Rock, and so on so he can still be a Scottish "hard man".


Or give him a name like "Macdonnel" as his first name, It'll confuse the shit out of his teachers, but it'll also sound pretty cool. "Macdonnel Pieroni".

[Signe]

Not Rocco.  That's the name of that naff chef with the reality show.  What a self-absorbed prancing little nancy he is, too.  I used to think that was a cool name.  He ruined it for me.  He is a babbling vagina. 

[Righ]

Looking over this thread, I see we've already had suggestions of both Anthony and Stone. These are workable, I suggest Stony Tony Pieroni.

[Cyrrex]

Another was Megatron.  A kid named Megatron isn't likely to have his lunch money stolen.

I very nearly spewed coffee on my keyboard.  Nice.

[Lantyssa]

Looking over this thread, I see we've already had suggestions of both Anthony and Stone. These are workable, I suggest Stony Tony Pieroni.

Seconded.

[edlavallee]

Oh gods... the people here think I am nuts. I have been laughing hysterically about this thread in loud, highly disruptive guffaws completely unlike my typical behavior.

For some reason I just was waiting for someone to suggest Yankme Pieroni, but of all the suggestions I laughed the loudest at:

Scotty McScottScottScotterNotItalianson.

Something about that had me snorting and snickering until I had to get up and leave lest I get a visit from the boss-man.


Completely non-humorous male names from my family:
Hillard
Edward
Gilbert
Mark
Eric
Aron

[Yegolev]

Xander is short for Alexander and Cevik already named his son that.  I like Megatron, though.  Maybe even more than Sloopy or Ohio.  I would name my son Megatron.

First, Megatron is taken; we share a continent, so you'll have to pick something else.  You never know, I might get to name the next one.  Starscream was a close second, but has only two syllables, so you can use that one.  You want one name to have an odd number of syllables and the other to have an even number.  Megatron Armstrong.  For the win.

[UD_Delt]

Megatron Armstrong.  For the win.

Pfft... What's with the obsession with bad guys?

Optimus Prime Pieroni

Has a nice ring to it, and his friends could ask each other, "You down with O.P.P?"

[Signe]

Starscream is a girly name.  Ironwood can't give his boy a girly name.  And don't worry... if I ever spontaneously pop a miracle sprog, I'll leave the name up to whoever owns the doorstep I choose. 

[Yegolev]

Pfft... What's with the obsession with bad guys?

You can have Lion-O if you want.  I'm taking Mum-Ra.  See you at the T-ball game.

[Signe]

I don't think we've been much use to Ironwood Pieroni. 

Sorry!   

[Righ]

I suspect that he chuckled at a few and read them to Mrs Ironwood. At first she probably found it amusing, but as time wore on, she got annoyed, and expressed her annoyance at him in fiendish ways. Now whenever he chuckles while on his computer, he gets a steely stare, and has to explain how it wasn't a name on F13, it was the fate of a Gnome in Alterac Valley that made him chuckle.

A gnome called Rumpelstiltskin Pieroni.

[schild]

Rumpelstiltskin?

* schild pops.

[voodoolily]

I really like the name Ephram for a boy.

And Pascal would go well with your surname, I think.

Edit: I had a brawler great-uncle named Conrad, but he went by Coonie (as in "Uncle Coonie"). He threw a television set at a dude's head once.

[Ironwood]

Isn't Ephram one of the tubes in your cock ?

I think not.

The wife reads the thread herself.  As for me, I'm hoping like hell it's a girl.

[schild]

Dude.

Schild.

SAY IT WITH ME.

SCHILD PIERONI

or, alternatively:

F13 Dot Net Pieroni

The second one doesn't roll off the tongue so well though.

[Ironwood]

But, honestly, I worry that if I call him Schild he may just grow up as tubby as you.

That wouldn't be good.

:)

[schild]

The best you can come up with is tubby?

Weak.

[Megrim]

I suggest naming him my alltime favourite internet baby name: Nathaniel T. Kittenstomp. You clearly can not go wrong with this name.

On a more serious note, i've always been fond of Phillip. It has a nice regal connotation to it. Alternatively, some kind of northern name such as Asmund, Einar or Hakon would suit the strong rugged Scotsman type who will one day behead people; that your son will undoubtedly grow up to be.

If you are unsure however, there is always Muad-Dib to fall back on.

[schild]

I think "Bad Dudes" would make a good guys name.

Bad Dudes Pieroni.

That's almost better than Schild.

Almost.