Worst interview experiences

[Raging Turtle]

Maybe this wasn't the thread to read one hour before my interview 
 

[penfold]

Im in the interesting position of an employer coming to me (lunching with the headhunters today) so the interview shouldnt be too tough, its more a case of them wanting me, rather than me wanting a new job.

[HaemishM]

but the more I read, the more I get the feeling that it's HR people trying to pretend they know something more than they do.

HR's only business should be making sure you get paid, making sure you get benefits, and making sure your boss isn't threatening to fire you if you don't fuck him. Trying to determine who is the correct fit for the company isn't something those assholes should be anywhere near, because they are generally the worst fucking people in the company to deal with on a personal or professional level. They are also bullshit merchants of the highest order.

Luckily, the HR guy at my current company is a great guy who does what he should and none of what he shouldn't, and is totally pleasant to deal with.

[shiznitz]

I had a cousin who became famous on Wall Street for 15 seconds when a female interviewer asked him if he had a problem working for a female boss and he answered "No, I don't have a mindfuck about that." He didn't get the job.

I have been lucky in the interview department generally. They have mostly focused on relevant skills and experience. I did get to the final round at Putnam at which point they require a full day of psychological evaluation. I spent 3-4 hours assembling weird shapes into apples, hearts, butterflies and creating narratives from a collection of 3-5 pictures. Then I spent about 3 hours answering questions on a computer: "would you rather teach math to high school students or be a cowboy" type of shit.  I got so annoyed by the computer questions that I started answering randomly. After going through all that, the job disappeared after they fired a good chunk of the portfolio management team.

[stray]

"would you rather teach math to high school students or be a cowboy" type of shit.

Ooh, that's tough.

Shitkicking or kicking the shit out of kids?

I'm sure it has something to do independence though.

[voodoolily]

Maybe this wasn't the thread to read one hour before my interview 
 

omg was yur avatar brought to us by Michel Basquiat?

[Abagadro]

I'm proud/ashamed to say that despite interviewing for approximately 40-50 jobs during my lifetime, I have never gotten a job based on an interview. I just plain suck at them. 

One of the better/worse flameouts was being flown to California to interview with a big firm and doing the entire half-day long interview with my fly down.

[cevik]

Microsoft Interview #1:  Year 1999

Question #1 "Describe to me how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Question #2 "You go to an island nation on vacation and have your wallet and passport stolen.  You have no cash and no ID, what do you do?"  (My answer "Find the US Embassy, explain my problem", response "There is no US Embassy", my response "Learn to cook over a campfire", the interview did not progess much beyond that point)..

Microsoft Interview #2:  Year 2005

I'm given the worst (literally the worst) code snippet I've EVER seen in my entire life.. I've seen interns produce much better code than this code snippet, hell I've seen Senior Engineers produce better code than this code snippet (coming from a Senior Engineer who's had to work with a lot of other Senior Engineers, that means a lot).. I'm asked "what does this code do."

[Viin]

I think we can all agree: interviews suck.

However, I will say that interviews go a *ton* better if you don't need the job but they need you.


In the last position I interviewed for, I interviewed with the VP of Technology and then the folks who would be on the same team (peers) as me. But I never once interviewed with the guy who would be my boss. Is it just me, or is that weird? I didn't feel very comfortable taking that job (I didn't).

[MrHat]

Intersting thread.

I generally treat every interview I go to (several) as a tete-a-tete.  They get to know you, you get to know them.

I do tend to stutter a bit, but that's fine.  Makes you look less than perfect, and people sympathize with you then.

Oh, and a shot before the interview will do wonders.

[Roac]

In the last position I interviewed for, I interviewed with the VP of Technology and then the folks who would be on the same team (peers) as me. But I never once interviewed with the guy who would be my boss. Is it just me, or is that weird? I didn't feel very comfortable taking that job (I didn't).

I dunno.  Would the VP be your boss' boss?  May be that the boss was unavailable (leave, trip, project, whatever) so they had to get by without.  I would think it's a negative though, since it makes it harder to judge what the expectations for you are.

[Viin]

I dunno.  Would the VP be your boss' boss?  May be that the boss was unavailable (leave, trip, project, whatever) so they had to get by without.  I would think it's a negative though, since it makes it harder to judge what the expectations for you are.

That's the thing. He was there! I even said waved hi to him as I passed him in the hall on my way out of the building when I left after the second interview (with who would be my peers). I didn't have a chance to ask him some pointed questions (ie: is he cool with me going to a class during the day twice a week and extending the hours I worked to cover it?). Blah.

Edit: Oh yah, the VP was the boss' boss, and she was cool. But still..

Of course, since they are a smaller company (if 200+ ppl is small) they really didn't have any policies in place for folk who are in the Reserves, so I didn't think they were wholly comfortable with that .. which makes me uncomfortable.

[Margalis]

Question #1 "Describe to me how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Step 1: Yell "honey, could you make me a P&B sandwhich."
Step 2: Wait.

Question #2 "You go to an island nation on vacation and have your wallet and passport stolen.  You have no cash and no ID, what do you do?" 

Beg for some change, call up someone in the states and yell out "get me the hell out of here!" The mug someone and steal their identity.

I'm given the worst (literally the worst) code snippet I've EVER seen in my entire life.. I've seen interns produce much better code than this code snippet, hell I've seen Senior Engineers produce better code than this code snippet (coming from a Senior Engineer who's had to work with a lot of other Senior Engineers, that means a lot).. I'm asked "what does this code do."

I always hate questions like that because they are usually stupid gotchas. Like my coworker will ask what happens if you put http://blahblah in the middle of a Java method. (It compiles because http: counts as a label an then the // is a comment  - yay) I would not want to hire anyone who sticks that in their code whether it compiles or not, it's just silly.

[Daeven]

Math questions? At a job interview?

It's not as much math as it is logic, reasoning, and the ability to think on your feet.  While the roots are in math, it's math that anyone interviewing for the position would know.  Not that I condone asking that shit out of the blue to someone on the phone that still hasn't taken their wake-up piss yet.  If someone actually asked me to multiply matrices or perform integrals during and interview, I'd just adjust my tie and walk out.

I greatly prefer more of an informal chat, but I'm not completely shocked and insulted when they actually want an on-the-spot evaluation of my mind as racked with nerves as it already is at the time.

Hell. it's not even that. It's more of 'how does this person react to weird assed shit under pressure? Like code getting deployed to a production system and it all fails because the wrong compiler version was used - or the wrong database driver was installed - or whatever, and the client is on the phone screaming and threatening to defund you - etc...'

Sometimes, the best interview questions don't have a 'right' answer. All you want is to be able to measure their reaction.

[cevik]

Hell. it's not even that. It's more of 'how does this person react to weird assed shit under pressure? Like code getting deployed to a production system and it all fails because the wrong compiler version was used - or the wrong database driver was installed - or whatever, and the client is on the phone screaming and threatening to defund you - etc...'

Sometimes, the best interview questions don't have a 'right' answer. All you want is to be able to measure their reaction.

Now you see, I solve all of the issues you listed above by writing good software and not using Magic (TM) in my code.  It works wonders, and I rarely (never?) get called at 2 AM in the morning because some esoteric undocumented "feature" of the driver/compiler/OS was changed in the most recent patch and it broke my buggy but occasionally accidently works piece of shit code.. So asking me questions to judge my reaction in those situations is somewhat silly..

Good software development practices for the win.

[Toast]

I had one really bad interview for an investment banking analyst position. The question he asked was:  "What's the first line of a statement of cash flows". I drew a blank and said revenue (close...ish)

We were five minutes into the interview, and he advised me to study up for future interviews. OUCH.

[Pococurante]

I don't think I will be getting a call back, I didn't do that badly but I certainly could have been better.

The point isn't to get an answer but to observe how the applicant reacts.  The only right answer is, With Great Enthusiasm so the interviewer knows you don't get flustered, defensive, dismissive, etc.  Another one that still occasionally comes up is, "I come to you and ask to get the weight of a standing 747 by lunch time today.  How much does it weigh?"

It's a good test.  A lot of people fail it, getting all pissed off that they are "supposed to know" coefficients and modern aircraft specifications for a job sorting the company's socks instead of whether they have the termperament to get the job done no matter what.  What the interviewer wants to see is a person's ability to pace their emotions, show committment, and at the same time as they work to resolve the business problem asking smart questions like, "what does weighing the 747 mean for our business?"

In my case I always answered the last one by saying, "I call my brother-in-law - what he doesn't know off the top of his head he'll find out or can even get us time on the scale at D/FW airport... on and by the way what business problem are we trying to solve?"

[MrHat]

In my case I always answered the last one by saying, "I call my brother-in-law - what he doesn't know off the top of his head he'll find out or can even get us time on the scale at D/FW airport... on and by the way what business problem are we trying to solve?"

I'd ask the audience.  They're right 90% of the time.

[Viin]

Silly questions like that I answer with one word: Google

Well, maybe not just *one* word, but the gist of my answer is that I'm willing to find the answer even if I don't know it.

[Paelos]

I had one really bad interview for an investment banking analyst position. The question he asked was:  "What's the first line of a statement of cash flows". I drew a blank and said revenue (close...ish)

We were five minutes into the interview, and he advised me to study up for future interviews. OUCH.

Are you an accountant? If so, then yeah that's a bad thing to flub on. If not, meh.

Btw, "Net Income" is the answer, non-accountants. Revenue is way off. 

[Toast]

I'm not an accountant. I'm a finance guy. I guess that's part of the problem.

Another acceptable answer might be CF OPS.

[Daeven]

Now you see, I solve all of the issues you listed above by writing good software and not using Magic (TM) in my code.  It works wonders, and I rarely (never?) get called at 2 AM in the morning because some esoteric undocumented "feature" of the driver/compiler/OS was changed in the most recent patch and it broke my buggy but occasionally accidently works piece of shit code.. So asking me questions to judge my reaction in those situations is somewhat silly..

Good software development practices for the win.

So, then, you've never, ever been forced into a situation where you had to support someon elses crap code? You write every line of code for your org?

...

Merits for bringing up good development practices. Even more bonus points if you outline defensive coding strategies. Demerits for claims of infallability.

[cevik]

So, then, you've never, ever been forced into a situation where you had to support someon elses crap code? You write every line of code for your org?

Sure, but I don't take 2 AM calls to fix other people's problems.  If I didn't break it, it can wait until the next day.

Merits for bringing up good development practices. Even more bonus points if you outline defensive coding strategies. Demerits for claims of infallability.

I am infallible.

[Nazrat]

Recently, we were interviewing for another attorney in the child support division.  Being a bureaucracy, there is a standard litany of questions. 

One of them is "What is a recent family law case or article that you have read?"

One lady's answer was "Roe v. Wade."  WHAAT?  Why are you citing a 30 year old case that you read in Con Law? 

It really didn't matter what her stance on the case was.  Her answer told us she was a militant and not a family law practitioner.

[shiznitz]

Another acceptable answer might be CF OPS.

No it is not. Net income is the only correct answer.