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Topic: Me, Myself, and My Right Hand: A Theory of Celluloid and Collegiate Sex (Read 52740 times)
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Voodoolily - two questions:
Is that a Battle Royale avatar? (still need to see that movie, badly)
What the fuck is a Muscle Mary?
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL
"I have retard strength." - Schild
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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I think a muscle mary is a really built gay guy.
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CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Voodoolily - two questions:
Is that a Battle Royale avatar? (still need to see that movie, badly)
What the fuck is a Muscle Mary?
1) Yes- and yes, you do. 2) Paelos was able to sum it up perfectly. Many fags refer to the gym as "church", which aptly describes many homos' religious dedication to working out. There is nothing hotter than a really built guy who you could never fuck. (Except a really nerdy one that you can)  Edit: Changed 'ever' to 'never'. dang but did you ever notice how one letter can make such a difference? |
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« Last Edit: July 21, 2005, 02:45:12 PM by voodoolily »
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AlteredOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 357
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Here's what I learned in college:
1. Chicks dig confidence. And you can't teach confidence. You've got it or you don't. When my glass was half empty, girls ignored me. When it was half full, they dug me. Given a choice between an average or even ugly confident guy, and a dilly-dallying depressed hot guy, most chicks choose the mover and the shaker.
2. Don't go to a small liberal arts college full of valedictorians, like I did. Hyper-achieving women tend to be frigid, neurotic, and obsessed with grades/career/appearances.
3. Work out. You'll look better, feel better, and extra testosterone will propel your libido.
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SuperPopTart
Terracotta Army
Posts: 990
I am damn cute for a stubby shortling.
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Here's what I learned in college:
1. Chicks dig confidence. And you can't teach confidence. You've got it or you don't. When my glass was half empty, girls ignored me. When it was half full, they dug me. Given a choice between an average or even ugly confident guy, and a dilly-dallying depressed hot guy, most chicks choose the mover and the shaker.
2. Don't go to a small liberal arts college full of valedictorians, like I did. Hyper-achieving women tend to be frigid, neurotic, and obsessed with grades/career/appearances.
3. Work out. You'll look better, feel better, and extra testosterone will propel your libido.
You can teach confidence. Well..you can teach confidence by giving confidence. It's like a gift. By the way, Schild. The picture of the watch. I love it. Awesome watch. |
I am Super, I am a Pop Tart.
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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You can't teach confidence, but you can fake it. Just convince yourself that you rule. For whatever reason. Your faults are really not a big deal, and you've got a hell of a lot to offer any girl.
Think of yourself as a good catch.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Casanova looked a bit like Jon Lovitz. He had neither a stable job or a stable income.
And he's the biggest player the world has ever known (I mean, for heaven's sake, the guy could seduce nuns).
If that doesn't inspire confidence, nothing will.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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Or ask a girl if she will go to Phantom of the Opera with you.
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Daydreamer
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Funny story, already did a local public sing-along performance with friends and got nothing a few monthes ago (I was the only strait single person in the room, natch). But we set a date to get together with a few others to go bowling then, and thats where I met my current girlfriend.
So mad props to Andrew Lloyd Weber, and stuff.
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Immaginative Immersion Games ... These are your role playing games, adventure games, the same escapist pleasure that we get from films and page-turner novels and schizophrenia. - David Wong at PointlessWasteOfTime.com |
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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If the girl you're after reminds you even a teeny weeny bit of me, don't ask her to go to The Phantom of the Opera with you. She will hate those sorts of musicals and will probably call you a pussy faggot. (she'll feel rather guilty afterwards though and, unless she's married to Righ, will offer you a sympathy fuck)
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
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If the girl you're after reminds you even a teeny weeny bit of me, don't ask her to go to The Phantom of the Opera with you. She will hate those sorts of musicals and will probably call you a pussy faggot. (she'll feel rather guilty afterwards though and, unless she's married to Righ, will offer you a sympathy fuck)
 Al-right! |
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Pococurante
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2060
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Speaking as a guy who used to be in a fraternity (and not a Christian one if that's what you are thinking, I was one of two in the place) most of the crap you hear like the "awards" or "naked hazing" is bullshit. It's made up by other fraternities to either ruin other guys reps, or to make a joke. We don't bang fat chicks as a joke, we don't put fingers up each others asses, and I can say I have zero desire to see pledges doing anything naked. That was pretty much my experience too. We were more Summer of Love than Animal House. Not that we didn't have regular beer-soaked dance parties. |
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Pococurante
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2060
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You can't teach confidence, but you can fake it. Just convince yourself that you rule. For whatever reason. Your faults are really not a big deal, and you've got a hell of a lot to offer any girl.
Think of yourself as a good catch.
That's actually what it is. Early on I heard the old Chinese warning "Be careful what you pretend to be for that is what you become" and I heard the positive side of the message, embraced it, and it's worked wonders. I still practice it, it still works. |
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Men forget that the Diva attitude is not limited to women. That's sad. If I'm having a less-than-confident day, I just put on a skirt and strut like I'm on a fucking catwalk, and my mood improves instantly.
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Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075
Error 404: Title not found.
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Men forget that the Diva attitude is not limited to women. That's sad. If I'm having a less-than-confident day, I just put on a skirt and strut like I'm on a fucking catwalk, and my mood improves instantly.
I might give that a shot, but in Georgia they frown on that. And by frown I mean beat you yelling QUEER! |
CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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:-D
I mean just pretend that you're the most fabulous creature on the planet.
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AlteredOne
Terracotta Army
Posts: 357
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Brain fart: people who post on these forums tend to be highly analytical. Whatever we do, we pick apart with a surgical knife, looking for ways to improve it. Trouble is, this does not work well for romance. So listen to these guys, take off your analyst hat, put on your cowboy hat, and pretend you're Clint Eastwood. His new wife is maybe 30, and he's about 80. There's a role model ;)
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NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353
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Sidle right up to a girl and go, "the question is, do you feel lucky? Well, do ya?"
Might have better results if one was to carry a magnum as well.
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"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Might have better results if one was to carry a magnum as well.
I know it would work better for or on me with a Magnum.  |
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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I love absolutely everything aBOUT ...being Burt.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818
has an iMac.
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Burt?
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds are the same person, don't you read the papers?
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds are the same person, don't you read the papers?
Shut the fuck up Donny, you're out of your element! |
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Ookii
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 2676
is actually Trippy
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As it seems the problem for most isn't actually getting a girl out on a date but sealing the deal afterwards, just be funny, charming, and do this. All girls practically look the same naked, don't be so picky, you aren't going to marry her for godsake. |
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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Speaking as a guy who used to be in a fraternity (and not a Christian one if that's what you are thinking, I was one of two in the place) most of the crap you hear like the "awards" or "naked hazing" is bullshit. It's made up by other fraternities to either ruin other guys reps, or to make a joke. We don't bang fat chicks as a joke, we don't put fingers up each others asses, and I can say I have zero desire to see pledges doing anything naked. That was pretty much my experience too. We were more Summer of Love than Animal House. Not that we didn't have regular beer-soaked dance parties. My fraternity was full of guys who played EverQuest (one guy I knew had a pee jar and ended up flunking out... sad), Starcraft, and Counter-Strike. We also had the beer-soaked dance parties, but I usually found somewhere else to be those nights because the beer was generic domestic swill and I was a beer snob before I turned 21. It was all about the housewide LAN parties. Awww yeah. Closest thing we had to naked hazing was the rule that if you were beaten 10-0 in foosball, you had to run to the end of the block and back in boxer shorts. The night that I got smoked by our resident champion and had to make the run of shame, there were some sorority girls on the same route flashing passersby as part of some similar stunt. So it was a positive experience, really. |
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« Last Edit: July 22, 2005, 02:28:29 PM by Samwise »
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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All girls practically look the same naked, don't be so picky, you aren't going to marry her for godsake.
Go to your room. |
My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds are the same person, don't you read the papers?
Shut the fuck up Donny, you're out of your element!  |
That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Hanzii
Terracotta Army
Posts: 729
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All girls practically look the same naked, don't be so picky, you aren't going to marry her for godsake.
Yup. That's why poor Hugh Hefner lives in the street... pictures of naked women, who'll ever pay money to see that? |
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I would like to discuss this more with you, but I'm not allowed to post in Politics anymore.
Bruce
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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Is there anything more funny than an excited, naked man? Maybe it wouldn't be so silly looking if the darn thing would stay still instead of moving about on it's own like that. Do you ever wonder how we keep from laughing long enough to have sex with you lot?
It's not bloody easy, I tell you!
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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MrHat
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7432
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
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Is there anything more funny than an excited, naked man? Maybe it wouldn't be so silly looking if the darn thing would stay still instead of moving about on it's own like that. Do you ever wonder how we keep from laughing long enough to have sex with you lot?
It's not bloody easy, I tell you!
They always stop laughing when you Bah, I'm not finishing this thought, to THE DEN WITH YOU I SAY. |
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19324
sentient yeast infection
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They always stop laughing when you
GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY GIGGITY! |
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Evangolis
Contributor
Posts: 1220
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People, there is no place for humor in the bedroom. Sex is serious business, and should be treated accordingly. Now someone hand me my pants.
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"It was a difficult party" - an unexpected word combination from ex-Merry Prankster and author Robert Stone.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Is there anything more funny than an excited, naked man? Maybe it wouldn't be so silly looking if the darn thing would stay still instead of moving about on it's own like that. Do you ever wonder how we keep from laughing long enough to have sex with you lot?
It's not bloody easy, I tell you!
They always stop laughing when you Bah, I'm not finishing this thought, to THE DEN WITH YOU I SAY. Cut them ? |
"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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voodoolily
Contributor
Posts: 5348
Finnuh, munnuh, muhfuh, I enjoy creating new written vernacular, s'all.
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Is there anything more funny than an excited, naked man? Maybe it wouldn't be so silly looking if the darn thing would stay still instead of moving about on it's own like that. Do you ever wonder how we keep from laughing long enough to have sex with you lot?
It's not bloody easy, I tell you!
They always stop laughing when you Bah, I'm not finishing this thought, to THE DEN WITH YOU I SAY. Cut them ? ROFL. I love wife-abuse jokes. Q. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A. Nothing you didn't tell her twice already. |
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