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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Greasing yourself up may save your life. 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Greasing yourself up may save your life.  (Read 1585 times)
Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668

Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


WWW
on: May 25, 2005, 10:59:16 AM

Quote from: AP
Suntan Oil Helps Calif. Woman Escape Attacker In Park

POSTED: 12:11 pm EDT May 25, 2005

FOUNTAIN VALLEY, Calif. -- Here's proof that using suntan lotion can save your life.

Authorities in Orange County, Calif., said a woman who had slathered herself with suntan oil escaped an attacker because she was too slippery for him to grab.

The woman told authorities she was jogging on Sunday morning when another jogger began following her. She ducked into a park restroom. When she emerged from a stall, the attacker lunged from another stall and grabbed her arm.

An Orange County sheriff's spokesman said the woman was wearing "a large amount of suntan oil," making her skin slippery and hard to grasp.

She struggled with the man, screamed, and ran away.

The attacker hasn't been found.

Copyright 2005 by The Associated Pre
WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #1 on: May 25, 2005, 11:02:40 AM

Send the dogs looking for the drooling pervert whose hands smell like cocoa butter. They should have the guy within the hour!

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199


WWW
Reply #2 on: May 25, 2005, 11:10:45 AM

You've just described half the people in the park.

WayAbvPar
Moderator
Posts: 19270


Reply #3 on: May 25, 2005, 11:11:39 AM

My point exactly. They can pin it on anyone, then get back in time for coffee and donuts.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199


WWW
Reply #4 on: May 25, 2005, 12:31:22 PM

I watched supertroopers a couple days ago on Comedy Central.

It was bad. I have a feeling it would be funnier the 2nd time.

HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42666

the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring


WWW
Reply #5 on: May 25, 2005, 01:06:55 PM

Super Troopers is teh funney, though it loses something with the deleted profanity. Keep in mind it's MEANT to be as stupid as possible.

Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199


WWW
Reply #6 on: May 25, 2005, 01:16:47 PM

I'll add it to Netflix.

Paelos
Contributor
Posts: 27075

Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #7 on: May 25, 2005, 01:57:15 PM

CANDY BAAAAARS!

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
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