Chalk up another one for Scientology.

[shiznitz]

Which is still better than being a Scientologist.

[HaemishM]

Being Serek Dmart is better than being a scientologist.

[Shockeye]

Being Serek Dmart is better than being a scientologist.

How do we know Serek Dmart isn't a Scientologist?

[WayAbvPar]

It is the kind of thing that obviously attracts egomaniacal douchebags, so there is a decent chance.

[HaemishM]

As designer of a game about space cowboys, I'm sure he's slain all his body Thetans.

[stray]

I'm tempted to email him about it now...

EDIT:

On second thought: No, I'm not.

[Shockeye]

The head crazy.

Hubbard's version is understandably preferable to the reality, which was a dark farce. Hubbard was born in 1911 in Tilden, Neb. After flunking out of George Washington University, he became a pulp science-fiction and adventure writer. In the mid-1940s, he fell in with John Parsons, a wealthy and brilliant young rocket scientist in California, who also happened to be under the tutelage of the infamous satanist Aleister Crowley (no relation to yours truly, thankfully). According to Russell Miller's damning biography of Hubbard, Bare-Faced Messiah, Parsons was a science-fiction fan who briefly hosted Hubbard at his Pasadena, Calif., mansion, which featured a domed backyard temple and a rotating cast of occultists and eccentrics. Parsons described Hubbard as his "magical partner," and together the men engaged in a rite in which Parsons tried to impregnate with an antichrist child a woman he considered the whore of Babylon, a goal that Crowley had long promoted. With Rachmaninoff's "Isle of the Dead" playing in the background, Hubbard allegedly chanted spells over the copulating couple, according to Miller and others. (Ultimately Hubbard would steal Parsons' girlfriend and allegedly bilk him in a Miami yacht venture.) Years later, when Hubbard had grown famous and realized the antichrist episode didn't comport with his image as a man of culture and wisdom, he would reportedly claim to have been working on an undercover mission for U.S. Naval Intelligence to investigate black magic.

[WayAbvPar]

Years later, when Hubbard had grown famous and realized the antichrist episode didn't comport with his image as a man of culture and wisdom, he would reportedly claim to have been working on an undercover mission for U.S. Naval Intelligence to investigate black magic.

So THAT is how they got sonar to work!

[Furiously]

I'm still trying to boggle why someone would consider impregnating someone with the anti-christ a good idea....

[TheWalrus]

Cheap thrills. Maybe she was hot.

[HaemishM]

I'm still trying to boggle why someone would consider impregnating someone with the anti-christ a good idea....

Hey, Satan's just trying to get rid of his own body Thetans.

[voodoolily]

[WayAbvPar]

I am frightened. Someone hold me.

[Ironwood]

Yeah, actually, that's a scary as fuck photoshop.

[Yegolev]

At first I thought "hey, she's looking better", but then the horror sank in.

[Velorath]

From IMDB

Scientology Not To Blame for Holmes "Sores"


 The controversial Church of Scientology has slammed reports one its rituals was responsible for the sores on Katie Holmes' mouth in May. Only a week after Tom Cruise and Holmes confirmed they had been dating for "a couple of weeks" in late April, the former Dawson's Creek star was photographed with several cold sores and a red rash around her mouth. While most critics believed Holmes had acquired the sores from her public kissing sessions with Cruise, several gossip columnists claimed the 26-year-old actress developed the sores after enduring a Scientology process, known as purification. Holmes has been studying the religion since she began dating her now-fiance Cruise. The alleged client of the purification is given vitamin B3 (niacin), which helps to decrease cholesterol and boost circulation. However, a spokesman for the church says, "Whatever is on Katie's face has nothing to do with us. It's insulting that you would ask such a thing."

Damn, I was almost tempted to join the Church of Scientology so I could start "purifying" young women.

[Ironwood]

"Whatever is on Katies face has nothing to do with us."

Comedy Gold right there.

[HaemishM]

"Whatever is on Katies face has nothing to do with us."

Comedy Gold right there.

I was just thinking that myself. Obviously Tom isn't in favor of the money shot, then.

[CmdrSlack]

Saw a video blurb on CNN.com about this place.  I tried to grab the link to the CNN.com video piece as well, but for some reason my link copying skills are weak.

A K thru 12 school for scientologist kids!  Let's get to 'em early!

Shudder.

[ahoythematey]

How appropriate that they call it "programming".

[Llava]

That is actually quite frightening.  Wicca is a fad, it will fade.  Satanism was a fad, it faded.  Scientology, though... there's a lot of support.  They're running it like a clever business.  I'm not so sure this will fade- they're thinking ahead and brainwashing the next generation.  Can only hope this kids rebel against their parents and go Jewish or something.

God.  What if this became a major religion?

[schild]

God.  What if this became a major religion?

You'd see me on the news saying I possessed 1,000 years of power. And the heads of my many victims will be my throne.

[Sky]

Woops, I meant to post that bit about L. Ron in this thread. I dig his only entry in the Oxford Book of Quotations, that should be taught, too, right?

"If you really want to make a million, the quickest way is to start your own religion" - L Ron Hubbard.

I had to look it up to verify after reading that in Dawkin's Unweaving the Rainbow. Quite an interesting quote to be known for, eh?

[Merusk]

Woops, I meant to post that bit about L. Ron in this thread. I dig his only entry in the Oxford Book of Quotations, that should be taught, too, right?

"If you really want to make a million, the quickest way is to start your own religion" - L Ron Hubbard.

I had to look it up to verify after reading that in Dawkin's Unweaving the Rainbow. Quite an interesting quote to be known for, eh?

I'd heard Scientology was started by Hubbard just to settle a bet that he could start a religion centered around people sending him money, so the quote would fit that story.

[CmdrSlack]

Woops, I meant to post that bit about L. Ron in this thread. I dig his only entry in the Oxford Book of Quotations, that should be taught, too, right?

"If you really want to make a million, the quickest way is to start your own religion" - L Ron Hubbard.

I had to look it up to verify after reading that in Dawkin's Unweaving the Rainbow. Quite an interesting quote to be known for, eh?

I'd heard Scientology was started by Hubbard just to settle a bet that he could start a religion centered around people sending him money, so the quote would fit that story.

IIRC, it was a bet he made with Robert Anton Wilson.....but I could be wrong.  I believe his competitor church when he started the whole thing was supposed to be something along the lines of the Subgenius.  I could be 110% wrong on that, but I could have sworn I saw something to that effect.

[Shockeye]

Church of Critical Thinking
"Question: Can anybody definitively prove or disprove the rumor that Scientology was started from a bar bet between L. Ron Hubbard and another Sci-Fi writer (rumored to be I. Asimov) that went something like, "I'll bet you I can start my own religion?" "

The short answer is 'no', although Hubbard made the comment about getting-rich-quick-by-starting-a-religion multiple times in public. The notion that it was a bet *seems* to be an urban legend, but his repeated comments about it certainly qualify as a smoking gun.

mb-soft.com
Allegedly, L. Ron Hubbard, a former therapist, and Arthur C. Clarke, the noted author, were friends, and Hubbard bet Clarke that he could start a new religion. The anecdote concludes with him creating Scientology as a result. Again, we have not found specific evidence either supporting or denying that story.

Everything2.com
Ellison is also a fringe part of another legend that L. Ron Hubbard bet Robert Heinlein that he could invent his own religion and make a million dollars. While it's not hard to believe Hubbard making such a boast, Scientology has bent over backwards to put this story to rest. Scientology's stand is there is no evidence Hubbard made such a boast, that there were no witnesses, so it's ultimately a highly libelous statement. See you in court. Many people claim there was at least one witness. Isaac Asimov was present during the exchange. It's also alleged Ellison was a witness to the bet as well. Ellison claimed as much in an interview for a '70s satirical magazine called "Wings".

The interview has been reproduced online although who knows if this is itself is a true transcript:

Ellison: Scientology is bullshit! Man, I was there the night L. Ron Hubbard invented it, for Christ Sakes!

    I was sitting in a room with L. Ron Hubbard and a bunch of other science fiction writers. L. Ron Hubbard was famous among science fiction writers because he was the first one to have an electric typewriter.

    Wings: He claimed to have written Dianetics in a weekend, and nobody can deny it.

    Ellison: That's true. He wrote Dianetics in one weekend, and you know how he used to write? He used to take a roll of white paper, like paper you wrap fish in. He had it on the wall, and he would roll it into the typewriter and he would begin typing. When he was done, he would tear it off and leave it as one whole long novel.

    We were sitting around one night... who else was there? Alfred Bester, and Cyril Kornbluth, and Lester Del Rey, and Ron Hubbard, who was making a penny a word, and had been for years. And he said "This bullshit's got to stop!" He says, "I gotta get money." He says, "I want to get rich".

    Wings: He is also supposed to have said on that same night: "The question is not how to make a million dollars, but how to keep it."

    Ellison: Right. And somebody said, "why don't you invent a new religion?

    They're always big." We were clowning! You know, "Become Elmer Gantry! You'll make a fortune!" He says, "I'm going to do it." Sat down, stole a little bit from Freud, stole a little bit from Jung, a little bit from Alder, a little bit of encounter therapy, pre-Janov Primal Screaming, took all that bullshit, threw it all together, invented a few new words, because he was a science fiction writer, you know, "engrams" and "regression", all that bullshit. And then he conned John Campbell, who was crazy as a thousand battlefields. I mean, he believed any goddamned thing. He really believed blacks were inferior. I mean he really believed that. He was also very nervous when I was in his office because I was a Jew. You know, he was afraid maybe I would spring horns or something.

    Anyhow, the way he conned John was that he had J. A. Winter, who was a doctor, who was a close friend of John's, and he got him to run this article on Dianetics, the new science of mental health.

Assuming Ellison wasn't trying to pull a fast one (it was a satirical magazine), his story is problematic because he was 14 years old at the time. Would a 14 year old unproven kid be hanging around with such sci fi greats?

I have no idea where you got the whole Subgenius angle as I have never encountered anything remotely resembling that.

[Sky]

IIRC, it was a bet he made with Robert Anton Wilson.....but I could be wrong.

Heh, that would be funny if true. I read Wilson's stuff during my acid phase in the 80s.

[CmdrSlack]

I have no idea where you got the whole Subgenius angle as I have never encountered anything remotely resembling that.

Fnord.

Yeah, I dunno, I'm guessing whomever I heard that from was going with the "fake religions that ask for your money angle."  Like I said, my comment was most likely 110% wrong, but I have heard the bar bet thing before.

[AOFanboi]

I read the Heinlein variant story as well, except there was a "counterbet" about whether people would believe the philosophy in Callanetics (Hubbard) or Stranger in a Strange Land (Heinlein).

The most likely theory is still that it was set up as a tax-dodge shelter, though. To put it bluntly, Hubbard was less successful as a writer than either Heinlein, Asimov, Clarke and many of the others associated with the genre.

[HaemishM]

That article makes me remember just how much of a douchebag Harlan Ellison really is.

[Shockeye]

That article makes me remember just how much of a douchebag Harlan Ellison really is.

But he's so cute in this picture!

[HaemishM]

He's like an angry dwarf without the beard. Or the charm.

[shiznitz]

That looks like the promo poster for The 40-year Old Virgin.

[Yegolev]

Groped by Shatner?  Score.

[voodoolily]

Yeah, but where's Nimoi's hand? Score +1.