Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.

[Fabricated]

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

God, I'm bored.


Best One: "Vin Diesel's taste buds are located on his knuckles. Funnily enough, that same spot is his biggest erogenous zone. It is probable that Vin Diesel engineered such deformities himself so as to simultaneously have an orgasm and taste corn when he punches taxidermists."

[Murgos]

Verne Troyer is the result of someone feeding Vin Disel after midnight.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel is banned from World of Warcraft because he once put fourty thousand copper chain pants in separate auctions. Every one was sold, but the server load caused the entire cluster to go down for over a week.

[schild]

I like these 2:

He once explained time travel to a group of apes using a stick and 3 marbles. They would turn out to be out ancestors. The marbles, that is.

Vin once went sledding in New Hampshire and broke the sound barrier by turning his head around and blowing forcefully. As a result of the shock waves, several children died. Vin ascended to heaven and repeatedly punched God in the eye until he brought them all back to life. Every single one of those children are now scientists.

Edit: Wait, this is the best one.

Vin Diesel caused the nuclear explosion at Hiroshima, just by pointing to Japan on a combination globe/pencil sharpener.

[Strazos]

Vin Diesel started the fire, and he keeps it burning but the earth keeps turning because of gravity.

Vin Diesel has had sex with two of the three Powerpuff Girls. He has not had sex with Bubbles because exposure to light blue fabric turns him into a female for 24 hours.

Vin Diesel shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy; he ate him alive instead.

When within a 7 foot radius of Vin Diesel, you are actually standing on sovereign Guatemalan territory.

He is the rightful heir to the Merovingian bloodline.

[schild]

I've submitted 2:

"They say in space, no one can hear you scream. This is not true. Vin Diesel can hear you and he's upset you woke him from his mid-afternoon nap."

"Rosebud is actually Vin Diesel."

[schild]

I'm going to be laughing at this for days:

Vin Diesel used the Shroud of Turin as a tissue.

[Strazos]

Vin Diesel was on pace to win the 1994 World Series, but the lockout stopped him. He played every position, and was the only batter on his team, The Dieselin' Dashers. MLB allowed this because he hit only homeruns, and there was no need for another batter. His bat was hand crafted by Apollo, made from the skulls of Samurai who committed seppeku out of HONOR in being the bat Vin Diesel would use. He used the tears of sea-nymphs infused with the blood of Dracula for pine tar.

[schild]

Vin Diesel once tried to out-rock Jon Bon Jovi. Vin got out-rocked so bad he turned into a singularity.

Vin Diesel is the only thing to which causality does not apply.

The only thing that Vin Diesel didn't create is God. Whether or not God created Vin is still debatable.

[schild]

Vin Diesel's favorite practical joke is to call up gynecologists offices and ask for Ed. Then he hangs up real fast. Nobody gets it but him.

Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.

Vin Diesel drinks the blood of Virgins with a slight hint of Paprika.

This seriously may be the funniest website I've EVER visited.

[schild]

Vin Diesel is behind you right now.

[/size]

I just can't stop posting.

Vin Diesel eats gunpowder and shits bullets.

[eldaec]

Vin Diesel is a strict vegan vegetarian in all respects except that he will eat shrimp. When challenged on this, he insists the shrimp are "the lettuce of the sea".

Vin Diesel resolved the Great Depression, invented vaccines and the internet, yet history will only remember him as "that guy from that xXx movie". He has since bitch-slapped history in public, many times.

There was a time when the forests of Europe were so dense and omnipresent that Vin Diesel could travel from one extreme of the continent to the other jumping from treetop to treetop, never touching ground. Now he is forced to rely on his trusty flying dragon sidekick, Fujur.

Only Vin Diesel knows with certainty what the Christ Dr. Pepper really is. That knowledge is both his eternal burden and the source of his powers.

[MrHat]

" Vin Diesel was the person screaming when Boba Fett died."

[WayAbvPar]

The Matrix is based on a theory Vin Diesel had about how glow sticks work.

Sadly, this is less stupid then the Wachowski brothers' idea.

[schild]

Vin Diesel's freakishly large head controls the tides of the underground oceans of Neptune.

Vin Diesel exists in his own kinetic universe. If he willed it, he could stop himself against the Earth's spin and cut the planet in half. The only reason this hasn't happened yet is his care and consideration for his pet poodle Ginger.

If you were to take an audio recording of one of Vin Diesel's sneezes, slow it down considerably and play it backwards, you'd hear the chorus to "Just Like Honey" by The Jesus and Mary Chain.

[schild]

Winner:

Vin Diesel once attempted to shave Michael Moore's neckbeard, but failed upon realizing that the hairs were actually tiny Malaysian children.

[MrHat]

" It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

[schild]

One of my friends said it, and I agree with him.

If this site had a "MAKE THIS A T-SHIRT" button, the guy would be filthy rich.

Is it wrong to want this:

Ray Charles once looked at Vin Diesel...and never saw another thing again.

On a tshirt?

[schild]

Vin Diesel recently added 'moose' to his "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list.

Vin Diesel can bench press three hundred--three hundred galaxies, that is.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel's 1969 paper on quantum mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.

[schild]

Vin Diesel's character sheet reveals him to have all the abilities of a Hulking Hurler, a Dweomercheater and The Word. He does this at level 1.

Vin Diesel's shadow has a shadow. And its name is Keanu Reeves.

[Merusk]

Vin Diesel was implicated in the maiming deaths of 3 muppets after being asked, "What would you do for a Klondike bar?"

Elvis is not dead, he is living happily inside Vin Diesel's scrotum.

Vin Diesel knows what it's like when doves cry.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel tried to start a business where he would recharge batteries simply by gripping them in his hands.

[Llava]

The norse god Thor was originally modeled after Vin Diesel. However, Vin Diesel's hammer was actually a combination hammer/shotgun. Because Vin had not yet released shotguns to the public, the common belief was that it was thunder. Vin later slayed the wolf Fenris.

Thomas Edison actually did invent the lightbulb first, but Vin had the idea two years before he did. Vin only got over his hatred of lightbulbs last week.

Vin Diesel only fears two things: ducks and fear itself.

Batman could beat up Vin Diesel, but has chosen not to because Vin was once Robin.

Vin Diesel hates paradoxes, but this is only because he has not yet realized that he is, himself, a paradox.

Vin Diesel taught the Kool-Aid Man to burst through walls.

Vin Diesel was bitten by a radioactive spider. He suffered a minor headache and some nausea.

Vin Diesel built Rome in a day, waited a while, then caused its fall.

There is intelligent life in the universe, but they have not contacted Earth because they are avoiding Vin Diesel. They owe him $5.

Vin Diesel once had a brief conversation with the planet Pluto. They discussed the origin of frilly toothpicks.

[eldaec]

Vin Diesel was conceived by a passing comet and carried in the womb for sixty seven years. He was born with genius level frozen waffle preparation skills and the ability to speak almost any language.

[schild]

[Fabricated]

If Vin Diesel were to stare directly at the sun, the sun would get scared and go to a different part of the galaxy.

Vin Diesel found himself when he ran the Seti@home program, but covered it up to prevent mass chaos.

Vin Diesel speaks in THX certified sound.

[Teleku]

He starts his day by arguing with a bowl of green apples.

Vin Diesel once won control of the universe by defeating god in a ladder match, but gave it back after a week out of pity.......only out of pity.

[Teleku]

This Account Has Been Suspended
Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible.

hmmm

[Krakrok]

Good job.

Vin Diesel forgot to pay his rent once and God had to press his reset button.

[Fabricated]

So, do we win something?

[schild]

I'm pretty sure anyone who saw this thread was refreshing for a few hours.

I know I was. For 4 hours.

[Merusk]

I don't know wether we should be proud we brought someone's side low, or dissapointed that the toy is broken now.

Vin would know.

[Strazos]

When I had left, the hit counter showed more than 3.3m hits.

[schild]

When I had left, the hit counter showed more than 3.3m hits.

I had refreshed about 5,000+ times myself. Probably more.