Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.

[Shockeye]

When I had left, the hit counter showed more than 3.3m hits.

Let's set up a mirror and throw up some pr0n banners!

[schild]

When I had left, the hit counter showed more than 3.3m hits.

Let's set up a mirror and throw up some pr0n banners!

BRILLIANCE!

[NiX]

Shockeye is a genius.

[schild]

Vin Diesel once pitched an idea to Blizzard Entertainment's CEO: "Get this, it's like WarCraft, but in space..."

Oh and it's back up.

[Sobelius]

I love ya Vin

His hot shower ad photo is my avatar...what was that about him being behind me? Yowzah!

[Trippy]

Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.

After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.

Vin Diesel once drove a golf ball over 9 miles, and was there to catch it before it hit the ground.

Vin Diesel does not own a washer or dryer, but rather swallows his laundry load, and chases it with detergent. Then, he shits clean clothes, and burps bubbles.

This is some funny stuff.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel will counter hadoken with yoga flame.

[Furiously]

Is solely responsible for every flight in the history of the US space program. there is no such thing as rockets. he just stands beneath the shuttle and plunches it. the rest is pyrotechnics

Vin Diesel invented the modern toilet.

[UD_Delt]

Vin Diesel likes to walk around with his penis pushed back between his legs. He calls it his Vin-gina.

I hate you all for making me the weird guy that laughs out loud while starting at his computer....

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel has no addictions, except that of a jelly donut every Sunday after Mass; which he only attends for the "funny stories".

Vin once took a shot of Jack Daniels through his ear. He promptly threw it up out of his nose, at which point, he declared it holy.

Vin Diesel is in reality a giant android controlled by The Jamaican government.

[Krakrok]

For Halloween, Vin Diesel cuts down a tree, scoops out the inside, fills it with candy, and then stabs anyone who rings his doorbell. He then eats the candy-filled tree.

[Llava]

I think I've decided on a favorite:

Vin Diesel was the person screaming when Boba Fett died.

or this one:

Vin Diesel likes to compare himself to a little beetle. 'I am less shiny than you, beetle. But I am much bigger.'

[trias_e]

When Vin Diesel smokes cigarettes, his lungs get stronger.

Vin Diesel can, and has on many occasions, switched the worlds magnetic poles.

Vin Diesel was able to watch all of Contact.

[eldaec]

Vin Diesel only wears clothing made from endangered species and lives solely off the meat of baby seals.

Gravity only affects Vin Diesel for six hours out of every day.

[Llava]

The owner ought to print out one of those calendars with a sheet for every day.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.

Vin Diesel created and recorded the theme to Muppet Babies.

[Ironwood]

Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.

Genius.  Just Genius.

[Festus Clamrod]

My submissions.

Vin Diesel will stick his boot up your ass, then take your mother out for a nice sea-food dinner and _never_ call her again.

Vin Diesel was the man on the grassy knoll.

This is the main advantage of Vin Diesel: he makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel... total loss of all basic motor skills: blurred vision, no balance, numb tounge -- severance of all connection between the body and the brain. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it. There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of a Vin Diesel binge ...

[Samprimary]

Vin Diesel once made a house entirely out of copper, just to prove that he could ignite it through punches.

Vin Diesel is a slang term for 'Postindustrial economy'

A drunken Vin Diesel went on a rampage in a Welsh time machine and inserted superfluous u's in British words, like colour and labour.

Vin Diesel always roleplays gnomes and will cry if you kill his character.

Young Vin Diesel would often be found punching zits straight off his face. He subsisted on a steady diet of Hostess Ho-Ho's.

Vin Diesel once paid 18 million dollars to be able to punch one of every known species of fish, including a Coleocanth.

Vin Diesel was once misquoted, thus becoming the unintentional founder of young earth creationism.

[eldaec]

The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought the dinosaurs were "a motherfucking stupid idea...dumbass." God was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs.

 Vin Diesel patented the US Patent Office and receives a 2% royalty on all patents.

Shortly after the Big Bang had occurred, Diesel sought out Ingvar Kamprad (the mastermind behind IKEA) and forged the great demons primitive models. Kamprad was infuriated and swore to fashion a model so fiendish in design that not even Vin himself would be able to assemble it. Shortly thereafter a cardboard box was delivered to Diesel's residence (which lay buried deep inside the sun itself). Smiling to himself, Diesel accepted the challenge, but was shocked to find that the model consisted only of a mountain of ore, an enormous quantity of wood, and a small plastic flap. A small note on the box let our protagonist know that the instructions came written in Braille, and were to be found on the inside of Gods bladder. Our hero went to work, and six days later he was finished. He stared in awe, as he realized that he had actually created the Pangaea. Blinded by anger, Kamprad attacked Diesel. The two demigods fought for an eternity. Finally, Diesel emerged victorious after ripping Greenland out of the Pangaea and hurling it at Kamprad. After this he made love to himself, spawning several overlords, and in the long run, created life as we know it.

[schild]

Vin Diesel has a summer house on the sun.

Vin Diesel's favorite book is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. His favorite beverage is Nitrous Oxide.

While Wolverine's bones are laced with Adamantium, Vin Diesel's bones are laced with 80's pop star Adam Ant.

[Fabricated]

Vin Diesel owns a chain of fast food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but pork rinds and Hot Pockets. A giant plastic Vin Diesel head spins around on a pole outside the franchises, shooting fireballs at passerby.

[Furiously]

Vin Diesel was the one who let the dogs out.

It is commonly believed that the RMS Titanic sank after a collision with an iceberg. In fact, the ship had struck Vin Diesel, who was swimming laps of the Atlantic Ocean. The icebergs were there, but they were being towed by Vin as something to chew on when he got bored.

[schild]

I think 8 months is sufficient time to wait for new quotes (the current WoW thread inspired me)



This one time, at band camp, Vin Diesel stuck Alyson Hannigan in a flute.

Though the media doesn't like to play it up, yes, the Terrorism Alert color-chart does indeed go all the way up to Vin Diesel.

John Hancock wrote his name so large because Vin Diesel told him it would help pick up women. This was part of a bet with Benjamin Franklin for one hundred dollars. Franklin stiffed Diesel on the bet, so Diesel arranged to have Franklin's face put onto every American one-hundred dollar bill as a reminder, "until I get what I'm fucking owed."

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel wrote "My Sharona" as a ballad to Winston Churchill.

Vin Diesel irons his shirts while he's wearing them.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Vin Diesel has a slot in his back where he plugs in a Game Genie, so that he has infinite lives and infinite ammo.

If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Vin Diesel.

[Sky]

If Vin Diesel drinks vegetable oil, he becomes Bio Diesel.

[eldaec]

Vin invented an engine that is fueled by the music of Thin Lizzy.

Vin Diesel knows why the bowl of petunias thought, "Oh, no not again."

Vin Diesel created oxygen by squeezing water really hard.

Vin Diesel can win Risk without taking Australia first.

Vin Diesel once went inside an M.C. Escher painting and climbed to the top of the stairs.

Vin Diesel ate Little Red Riding Hood.

When Vin Diesel's algebra teacher asked him one day, "What is the square root of -2?", Vin began to laugh. Then louder. Then whilst standing on top of his desk he was heard to bellow "You'll never know. NONE OF YOU WILL KNOW!" and jumped out the 3rd story window of the New York High School, landing on a baby carriage. Then the teacher said, "It's 2i."

I'm honestly not sure if the author of that last one is aware that the teacher is wrong

[Shockeye]

Is anyone else sick of this besides me?

[schild]

Is anyone else sick of this besides me?

Obviously, you have Vin Diesel in your vagina.

[Morfiend]

What are we, the wow forums? I am ashamed of you all.

Shockeye please please den this quick.

[Shockeye]

What are we, the wow forums? I am ashamed of you all.

Shockeye please please den this quick.

I would, but then schild will bitch about it. Might as well leave it here because obviously I have sand in my vagina.

[HaemishM]

Is anyone else sick of this besides me?

It's about as entertaining as the fifty variations of O RLY?

[Shockeye]

Is anyone else sick of this besides me?

It's about as entertaining as the fifty variations of O RLY?

Careful, you're treading on thin ice there. You don't want to end up like me: The Patron Saint of Sandy Vaginas.

[WayAbvPar]

Is anyone else sick of this besides me?

It's about as entertaining as the fifty variations of O RLY?

I am obviously mentally deficient, but O RLY cracks me up for some reason. It is stupid as hell, but I find it amusing. Vin Diesel, OTOH, is wearing a bit thin.

[HaemishM]

Bah, O RLY is funny enough the first few times, but has worn thin on me.

I thought I was already the patron saint of sandy vaginas. Or is that the Holy Meister of Crotchpheasants? Either way, it's time to bring back an oldy but goodie.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

[Samwise]

Someone set us up the Vin Diesel!