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Author Topic: NFL 2020: Pangolin Flu Edition  (Read 4630 times)
HaemishM
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on: March 19, 2020, 03:11:54 PM

During all the hullabaloo about the fact we're all going to die of Pangolin Lung, the new league year started. Yes, Tom Brady will probably be a Tampa Bay Buc next season, which is mindblowing, but not the craziest story of the free agent season. Todd Gurley gets released as a salary cap casualty (so the Rams are likely going to suck worse next season). Joe Flacco got released but honestly that should have happened last year.

No, I want to talk about the Houston Texans trading away De'Andre Hopkins to the Arizona Cardinals for fucking peanuts.

Houston Texans get: RB David Johnson, 2020 second-round pick, 2021 fourth-round pick
Arizona Cardinals get: WR DeAndre Hopkins, 2020 fourth-round pick

While David Johnson had a monster season, he's too injury-riddled seasons from then, and lost his starting job on a team that was tanking for draft picks to win around their star rookie. A 2nd round pick is an ok pick but not for a guy that was the Texans' most important player bar their start QB. What's worse, though, is why Bill O'Brien traded him.

According to Michael Irvin, O'Brien thought that Hopkins was having too much influence in the locker room and had a meeting with Hopkins about it. During that meeting, he apparently said something along the lines of Hopkins having too many baby mamas around (he has children with multiple women). He also said the last time he had to have a meeting like this with a player was AARON HERNANDEZ, you know, the MURDERER. And keep in mind, this is a guy who has been a Pro Bowler, star level wideout and has had ZERO disciplinary trouble with the league. Hopkins mostly confirmed the story but downplayed its impact.

Bill O'Brien may truly be the dumbest fucker on the planet right now, at least in the football world.

01101010
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Reply #1 on: March 19, 2020, 04:17:52 PM

During all the hullabaloo about the fact we're all going to die of Pangolin Lung, the new league year started. Yes, Tom Brady will probably be a Tampa Bay Buc next season, which is mindblowing, but not the craziest story of the free agent season. Todd Gurley gets released as a salary cap casualty (so the Rams are likely going to suck worse next season). Joe Flacco got released but honestly that should have happened last year.

No, I want to talk about the Houston Texans trading away De'Andre Hopkins to the Arizona Cardinals for fucking peanuts.

Houston Texans get: RB David Johnson, 2020 second-round pick, 2021 fourth-round pick
Arizona Cardinals get: WR DeAndre Hopkins, 2020 fourth-round pick

While David Johnson had a monster season, he's too injury-riddled seasons from then, and lost his starting job on a team that was tanking for draft picks to win around their star rookie. A 2nd round pick is an ok pick but not for a guy that was the Texans' most important player bar their start QB. What's worse, though, is why Bill O'Brien traded him.

According to Michael Irvin, O'Brien thought that Hopkins was having too much influence in the locker room and had a meeting with Hopkins about it. During that meeting, he apparently said something along the lines of Hopkins having too many baby mamas around (he has children with multiple women). He also said the last time he had to have a meeting like this with a player was AARON HERNANDEZ, you know, the MURDERER. And keep in mind, this is a guy who has been a Pro Bowler, star level wideout and has had ZERO disciplinary trouble with the league. Hopkins mostly confirmed the story but downplayed its impact.

Bill O'Brien may truly be the dumbest fucker on the planet right now, at least in the football world.

Thought about starting this thread this year but thought I'd let the dust settle first. But if we are talking 2020... let's look at the starting QBs not playing in the same uniform as the year before:
Brady
Winston
Newton
Mariota
Rivers
Dalton

I mean... damn. That's nuts to think if we see football in the fall 2020, those starters are all going to be in different colors.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
HaemishM
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Reply #2 on: March 19, 2020, 04:21:31 PM

You forgot Nick Foles (now on the Chicago Bears though not a lock for starter) and Case Keenum (not a starter at the beginning of the year but at various times and is now backing up Baker Mayfield). Also, no Eli Face this season either.

WayAbvPar
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Reply #3 on: March 19, 2020, 08:01:54 PM

I hope O'Brien doesn't get fired before John Schneider can fleece him one more time. God he is a donkey.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

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HaemishM
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Reply #4 on: March 19, 2020, 08:04:20 PM

If Deshaun Watson wasn't a Playstation highlight reel turned flesh, O'Brien would be an assistant coach somewhere.

Sir T
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Reply #5 on: March 20, 2020, 07:30:28 AM

You gotta feel for Brady though. It's a hard thing to leave a team where everyone hates you, and face a world where everyone hates you.

Sometimes irony is pretty ironic.
Cyrrex
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Reply #6 on: March 20, 2020, 07:32:55 AM

For the official record:  Brady is going to suck in Tampa.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
HaemishM
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Reply #7 on: March 20, 2020, 09:40:13 AM

I think the biggest hindrance Brady might have in Tampa is a shit offensive line. They have some serious weapons at wideout and a really good defense. And Bruce Arians does pretty well with good QB's.

Cyrrex
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Reply #8 on: March 20, 2020, 09:53:26 AM

I sorta forgot Bruce Arians.

But my comment was more based on the idea that I think Brady has, finally, lost a step or two.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
HaemishM
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Reply #9 on: March 20, 2020, 10:10:30 AM

Oh he most definitely had lost a step. He wasn't helped by having a cast of used-to-be's and scrubs at wideout last season, not to mention having no tight end safety blanket and a shaky offensive line. He's still good enough to get this team to the playoffs even if nothing else changed on their roster. Jameis Winston threw 30 damn picks last season (with 5,000+ yards and 33 TD's) and the team finished 7-9. Brady gives them at least 1-2 more wins by himself.

Draegan
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Reply #10 on: March 21, 2020, 03:32:54 PM

This is the first time Brady is actually playing in a competitive division.

Saints and Falcons are no Bills, Jets and Phins.
jgsugden
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Reply #11 on: March 21, 2020, 04:01:46 PM

Brady is retired.  He is just cashing a check in TB.  Sure he'd love to have everything line up and win a SB against the Patriots... but seriously, he is just doing this to make money.  I would not be surprised if - as I think the word was that he makes $20 Million even if the season never happens, he is secretly hoping to never have to lift a football in TB.

2020 will be the year I gave up all hope.
HaemishM
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Reply #12 on: March 21, 2020, 04:17:04 PM

Brady does not need the money and hasn't for years. He had so many endorsement and side deals with Robert Kraft for years as an end around the salary cap rules that he could have literally been playing for zero dollars and still never needed to make another penny in his fucking life. I'm pretty sure he got sick to death of Belichek being an asshole and wants to stick it to him.

Trippy
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Reply #13 on: March 21, 2020, 07:24:09 PM

Rumor has it Belichek was willing to trade Brady to the Niners back when they first inquired about Garoppolo and that's what triggered Brady's desire to leave.

https://www.ninersnation.com/2020/3/20/21187467/bill-belichick-reportedly-offered-tom-brady-to-the-49ers
HaemishM
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Reply #14 on: March 22, 2020, 12:16:34 AM

That certainly sounds true - Belichek's entire career as GMing the Patriots has been about paying less than market value for players, especially vets who would probably make more elsewhere. I find it hilarious that he wasn't able to succeed with that strategy this past season once Antonio Brown went apeshit.

HaemishM
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Reply #15 on: March 23, 2020, 04:38:26 PM

In case there is football this year, The Los Angeles Rams just unveiled new branding.

Thanks, I fucking hate it.

Trippy
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Reply #16 on: March 23, 2020, 04:56:13 PM

Need to see it in context.
Cyrrex
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Reply #17 on: March 24, 2020, 12:34:04 AM

It hasn't made me like the Rams more, if that's what they were going for.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Sky
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Reply #18 on: September 14, 2020, 02:34:15 PM

Oh shit the Pats have a legit RPO offense now :D

Belichick 1 Brady 0

Nice RB draft pick, too. We be jammin'.

HaemishM
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Reply #19 on: September 14, 2020, 02:42:54 PM

Let's not get too excited - they were playing the Dolphins after all, and Flores being a Belicheck disciple means he knows how to run against it. I'll have to see how Cam performs against the Bills defense.

01101010
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Reply #20 on: September 14, 2020, 04:13:02 PM

226 days till the draft! (because that seems to be the only day that matters in Cleveland Browns football).

That said, I may start following the Broncos since I'll be living in Denver starting this week. Time to drink the orange soda because this brown liquid has been shit for way way too long.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
Llyse
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Reply #21 on: September 14, 2020, 04:44:06 PM

I am forever grateful to this channel for introducing me to the Factory of Sadness.

Meanwhile the Packers continue to be a one trick pony and hilariously enough McCarthy is no better than the Clapper after his winter of analytics  why so serious?
HaemishM
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Reply #22 on: September 14, 2020, 05:56:32 PM

McCarthy always benefited from having a first-ballot Hall of Famer as his quarterback, and a general manager who was a lot smarter than him until said GM's brain turned into crab meat. Dak is good, but not only is he no Aaron Rodgers, Jerry Jones is not even competent enough as a football guy to hold Ron Wolf or Ted Thompson's jock, and I'm including Thompson's terrible senior years before they relieved him of GM duties.

WayAbvPar
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Reply #23 on: September 14, 2020, 08:08:37 PM

Fat Mike is a clown. Gonna be glorious watching him drag the Cowboys down with his conservative play not to lose bullshit.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Sky
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Reply #24 on: September 15, 2020, 09:12:43 AM

I'll have to see how Cam performs against the Bills defense.
Living in upstate NY, that's a win/win for us. If the Pats win, the old lady is happy. If the Bills win, we're happy for the local team. While I'm happy to have a new playbook in town, I also realize Cam is 31 and injury-prone, so my expectations are well-tempered!

But yeah, their D is legit. I'm hoping to see a 5-9 score. Or better yet, 0-2.

HaemishM
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Reply #25 on: October 05, 2020, 11:29:20 PM

Texans Finally Fire Bill O'Brien

I'm not quite sure what took them so long. I'd have fired him the minute he brought up trading DeAndre Hopkins for a brokedown running back and some magic beans. He's neutered one of the most exciting QB's in the league by giving him a bunch of castoffs to throw to instead of one of the best receivers in the league. Whatever idiot gave him GM powers on top of being a mediocre coach really has been huffing the paint of the Cult of Belichek.

Llyse
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Reply #26 on: October 11, 2020, 04:02:09 AM

HaemishM
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Reply #27 on: October 16, 2020, 08:33:10 AM

As if they needed more weapons, Le'Veon Bell signs with the Chiefs. Bell may or may not be washed up, but he doesn't even have to be great on that team, just solid. They may have crapped the bed against the Raiders but I fully expect them to get 13-14 regular season wins this season.

Also, the Colts got the Rona.

Cyrrex
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Reply #28 on: October 16, 2020, 11:01:25 AM

Feel bad about Dak.  And it always strikes me a bit funny that the sports team I loathe the most always has a QB I rather like.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
01101010
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Reply #29 on: December 01, 2020, 03:57:29 PM

This thread is going about the same as the NFL season.

That said, it took a pandemic, but the Browns finally have a non-losing season. I think I was living in Miami Beach the last time the Browns finished with 8 or more wins.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
HaemishM
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Reply #30 on: December 01, 2020, 04:11:52 PM

Funny part is that you can't actually blame their record on the pandemic - they are inconsistent but not nearly as bad as previous Browns teams.

No, what is really Browns-ian is this shitshow with the Steelers/Ravens Thanksgiving game. Postponed for a 3rd time, supposed to be played this Wednesday AFTERNOON (because NBC didn't want to bump the Christmas Tree lighting in Rockfeller Center) and they apparently still plan on going ahead with this game despite new players still testing positive as of today. AND the NFL forced Denver to play a game with a goddamn practice squad QB because all 3 of their QB's either had Covid or had been in close proximity. The NFL won't even follow their own fucking protocols anymore, just fuck the players get these games played!

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Reply #31 on: December 01, 2020, 10:36:02 PM

I can't believe they're still going ahead with the Ravens - Steelers game.  Baltimore has a solid dozen players that tested positive for COVID this week.
Rasix
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Reply #32 on: December 02, 2020, 12:11:20 PM

They needed to have a hard forfeit threshold established before even starting this shitshow of a season. Ravens should have just had to forfeit at this time. This game is a massive COVID risk as well as giving these teams too little time to prepare for their next game.

Just fucking dumb. Your guys and your franchise couldn't keep your damn players COVID free despite all the fucking resources in the world at your disposal. It sucks for everyone, it can suck for you too. Game cancelled and hope your team applied for PPP loans.  awesome, for real

-Rasix
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Reply #33 on: December 02, 2020, 12:49:57 PM

I don't give a shit about football anymore, but Prime showed me an ad for Cowboys at Ravens on Thursday night when I was watching a movie last night. And I had seen you guys talking about Ravens vs Steelers this afternoon.

So the Ravens are going to play 2 games in 2 days?  why so serious?

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Cyrrex
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Reply #34 on: December 02, 2020, 01:07:05 PM

I do not know the details behind all the Ravens' issues, other than it sounds like they are constantly having problems.  But I did read something about the problem the Broncos had with all their QBs being fucked and having to start that practice squad WR as their QB.  The rationale was that the other Bronco QBs were acting directly irresponsible, meeting with each other without masks, and that was why they were forced to play without any kind of delay.

The implication being that the multiple issues with the Ravens are due to...bad luck?  Is that true, or is there just a double standard because the Broncos suck and the Ravens do not?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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