Star Wars 9 : The Rise of Skywalker

[Hoax]

doesn't leave me cold but at the same time i look at the main cast and think: wow i don't give a fuck about these pleb ass retreads.

also movies that i care about i don't watch a trailer this close to release, i need to talk myself into bothering with this in theaters and i'm still not there yet

[Cyrrex]

Yeah, I am not sure what is going on there.  They haven't lost me as such, because having two teenagers means I will be there on opening weekend, but I have no idea what that was.

[eldaec]

Looks like exactly the sort of thing JJA is bad at.

[Cyrrex]

I mean, space ships, pew pew, lightsabers, a bit of Palpatine, it'll be fine for that alone.  But when they cannot even muster excitement from someone like me....

Also, there were at least three spots just in that trailer where I was like "uh, that's terribly unrealistic and/or stupid".  I don't get the choices some people make for the apparent benefit of being artsy or whatever.

[Draegan]

I'm willing to bet like half those scenes aren't even in the movie.

[Soln]

I won’t see it in cinemas. Maybe watch it on streaming someday.

Mary Sue + Hobbit Goats


fake edit: So at the end they’re riding space goats outside in space? On a star destroyer? Kids aren’t stupid - they’re gonna howl at that.

[Threash]

Kids aren’t stupid

Lol.

[01101010]

I won’t see it in cinemas. Maybe watch it on streaming someday.

Mary Sue + Hobbit Goats


fake edit: So at the end they’re riding space goats outside in space? On a star destroyer? Kids aren’t stupid - they’re gonna howl at that.

Howl? Not this generation. I expect a year's worth of stupid meme's all over reddit for the next 2 years.

[Ard]

Yup.  I'm done with Star Wars.  Thanks JJ.

[HaemishM]

That final trailer makes me hope the damn thing is 3 hours long, otherwise, it's going to planet hop so often, you'll get whiplash. It also tells me nothing about the story whatsoever.

[Hawkbit]

Lucky for you it's said to be the longest SW movie to date. 

So much solo running with open lightsabers. Will I watch it? Yeah. Likely not in a theater unless my kid drags me out.

[01101010]

This is going to be a no from me. 

I'll see it in a few years when it is streaming only to complete my viewing of the entire series. Star Wars: A New Hope was the first movie I ever watched, long ago in the back of my mom's pinto in a drive in theater (which should date me 5 times over) so I can't not watch the final. That said, the magic left right after RotJ and I should have had the sense to ignore the rest.

[Threash]

I don't really understand what you guys are seeing. I saw a lot of Star Warsy stuff happening, no better or worse than any others. If you like Star Wars you are getting all the Star Wars stuff you expect, not sure what else they can give you.

[TheWalrus]

I'm looking forward to a 600 page thread from people bitching about this movie who didn't want to see it in the first place and openly admit they have no interest in the franchise anymore.

F13. We enjoy nothing.

[Sky]

[Rishathra]

I'm looking forward to this, and I liked the trailer, but every time I see them riding space goats on a Star Destroyer, I think of Spaceballs.  "Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb."

Also, I find it a little weird that EVERY moment in all of the trailers that features Rey has her breathing heavily.

[Cyrrex]

I think it is a conscious effort to show here as a strong female, full of action and kicking ass and definitely not some Mary Sue that hasn’t earned that.  And it generally works, up to the point where she has to swing a lightsaber and it all falls apart.

[Threash]

Jesus, at this point anyone who still thinks of Rey as a Mary Sue is just embarrassing themselves.

[TheWalrus]

Now, now, they might simply have a head injury.

Also, thank you, Sky. Exactly what I was going for. 

[Sky]

For my non-smarmy 2¢, I consider these last Skywalker movies to be popcorn movies that allow us things like Rogue One. I'm sure I'll enjoy this one as much as the last two and not overthink any of it. Every Disney-era film has been better than the prequels, so it's all good in my book.

Ok, now back to how Ben Solo is a metaphor for the sissyfication of the white male in western society.

[Rendakor]

For my non-smarmy 2¢, I consider these last Skywalker movies to be popcorn movies that allow us things like Rogue One. I'm sure I'll enjoy this one as much as the last two and not overthink any of it. Every Disney-era film has been better than the prequels, so it's all good in my book.

I'm in the same boat.

[pxib]

The metaphor in the trailer that struck me the hardest was hearing the main theme in straight major without the Lydian ornaments.

No semi-dissonant minor chords here. Just the predictable basics. JJ is back and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

I'm sure I'll enjoy it. Yay.

[Khaldun]

Have to say that it didn't really grab me. But sure, I'll see it.

[Samwise]

I find I'm genuinely looking forward to seeing this series get put out of its misery.  As in, I might even go see this in the theater just so it'll be done and I can forget about it that much faster.

[Riggswolfe]

Jesus, at this point anyone who still thinks of Rey as a Mary Sue is just embarrassing themselves.

I'm glad someone else said it first.

[Cyrrex]

In case it came across as such, I don't see her as a Mary Sue.

[Sir T]

Fuck sake if you are going to have her run like an athlete and stare like an imposing warrior, at least let the woman work some weights so she looks like she has some heft behind her, rather than look like a model waif. I'm sick of action hero women looking like famine victims.

And SPACE GOATS!!!

I watched the trailer out of curiosity as someone who left SW behind a while back as I wanted to see what these space goats were about. Yep, as stupid as I thought.

Raised zero and zilch interest in me to watch this bloated mess. It actually reminded me of that parody SW trailer where they took the real trailer for the first non Lucas SW movie (says it all that I cant even remember the name) and added tons of crap and "and space Negotiations." Did I see 100 Millennium Falcons there?

[Khaldun]

It's true, all the Jedi in previous films were seriously bulked-up, because everything they do physically requires lots of muscles. Can't hold the high ground without some mighty quads, right? Well, except for the alien ones, but they probably were too! Who knows what a weight-lifting Quarren looks like, right?

[Sir T]

I'm rather proud that my first response to that was "What's a Quarren?" 

[Cyrrex]

Liar.  Everyone knows the Quarren share their homeworld with Mon Cals.

Daisy looks perfect for the role IMO (and that's not because I think she is one of the best looking women on the planet, although I do think that).  I just disconnect when I see her swing a saber.  She is pretty athletic looking.

[Sir T]

Meh. She does nothing for me.

It's just that scene in the trailer where she is supposed to look all tensed up and intimidating, and I'm going  "umm... no."

But hey, I've more chance of getting a blow job from a Quarren than seeing this thing. So whatever.  

[Shannow]

Gotta be better than the Last Jedi? right?

[Cyrrex]

Well, yeah.  But then again, I need to watch that space goats scene again to be sure, when I first saw it in a small window it just looked like they were riding horses (which I also thought was strange).

[Sir T]

Its actually unclear what they were riding, other than dressed up horses. I thought they had horns on first viewing, but stepping through the scene it does not look like they did. They just look like very furry horses on a closer look.

[Ironwood]

Desert Planet.  Forest Planet with same helmets.  Death Star.  Lightsaber bullshit.  Big Space Fleet.  Cackling Palpatine.

Yeah, tell me again how JJ Abrams isn't an unoriginal hack.

Even harder pass than the last time I passed hard.