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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Useless Projects 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Useless Projects  (Read 2273 times)
Yegolev
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Reply #70 on: January 22, 2018, 01:44:08 PM

There is a horse buried in an adjacent field, so we could be brothers!

I generally don't bury things.  We have a cleanup crew that is mostly composed of possums.  The cats murdered something and left about 1 pound of charnel on the porch.  After 24 hours, it was completely gone.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Yegolev
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Reply #71 on: January 22, 2018, 01:45:14 PM

I'm repairing christmas lights.  That's kinda useless and possibly a project.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Mosesandstick
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Posts: 2291


Reply #72 on: January 22, 2018, 02:23:24 PM

Tasty beverage to enjoy?  Check!

That looks amazing, and I have to ask, what's the cocktail?
Polysorbate80
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Posts: 1537


Reply #73 on: January 22, 2018, 03:07:47 PM

Variant of a Lava Flow, which is in turn a variant of a pina colada with strawberry puree added.  This one has mango puree in it as well.

There's lots of recipes on the web for Lava Flows, most of them call for banana.  DON'T.  It overpowers everything else.  Wave the banana at the blender and then put it back in the fruit bowl.

I'm still playing around with my personal recipe, it's not quite "there" yet but the gist is:

1 cup or so Semi-frozen strawberries and coconut milk pureed in a blender
Semi-frozen mango, ditto with the milk/blender.  These should both be able to be poured slowly, not too thick/thin.  I'm tempted to try this with raspberries as well--raspberry/mango sounds intriguing.

1 cup of frozen pineapple
One small can of Dole pineapple juice (fresh is better if you have it).  I think they're 6 oz.
~ 1/2 pint of vanilla ice cream
Coconut cream or coconut milk--cream is heavier, richer and sweeter, but I don't like the way it blends, and the cans are an inconvenient serving size.  I use coconut milk, the exact amount I'm still working out, but then add sugar.  About 1/8 cup right now, more if you want it sweeter.
1 1/2 ounces coconut rum, and 1 1/2 ounces dark rum.  Warning:  I use Koloa rum--their coconut rum is 40% ABV, stuff like Malibu is about half that alcohol-wise.  Also, the Koloa dark has a very strong note of vanilla that works well with this.  Careful with substitutions. 

Throw in some ice and blend.  Add ice and keep blending until it's your desired thickness. 

While you're slowly pouring that into a glass, also pour in the strawberry and/or mango.  Since I don't have three hands to hold all of them at once and had to swap around, it didn't "flow" around the sides and turn out as pretty as it usually does, but stir it a little with the straw and it will.

This will produce 3-4 good sized drinks, not too stiff so good for lightweights.  If you want stronger ones, use some 151.  Too much liquid dilutes the mix, requiring more ice, and then you lose flavor.  A little coconut extract might fix that; I don't have any on hand.  I think I'll order a bottle and try it--sacrifices must be made in the name of alcoholic science, yo!

"Boat drinks" like this are not technically considered "Tiki", but eh.  They're tasty  awesome, for real  I'll post a "real" recipe when I get the proportions sorted.
Polysorbate80
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Reply #74 on: February 11, 2018, 12:44:53 AM

I had this built for my daughter last year.  It's more than a one-person job, so I didn't tackle it myself.  Plus pouring concrete and all is a pain in the ass, I'm totally happy to have someone else do that



One drawback to building a new house here is a lack of mature trees suitable for tire swings.  My daughter loves swinging--it's kind of her Zen thing--but she's too heavy for kids swing-sets and we needed an alternative.  This is based on a design I found from some company based in Australia or New Zealand.  I forget which.  Aussie F13ers please don't threaten murder.  Here it's done with engineered beams rather than the tubular steel the original is produced in.

The one weak link is the locking ring that holds the chains to the d-ring bolted to the beam.  Found that out yesterday when the ring wore through, it's got an 800kg capacity but it's softer than the d-ring.  Which is fine, it's a $4 part, I just need to plan on replacing it periodically so I don't have to swap it out in winter.

Mid-February is not the preferred time to have to deal with it.  It's just above freezing outside but it would be easier if it were colder and the ground were frozen.   I needed my tractor to lift the tire & chains up while reattaching the swing to the new ring, but it turns out my tractor battery isn't holding a charge.  I left the tractor out behind the chicken coops last time I used it, which meant I had to drive my pickup out to jump start it.  Since the ground is not frozen, the truck sank into the mud while it was stopped and couldn't get traction.  So after jump starting the tractor I had to use it to drag the pickup back to the driveway  swamp poop

Lifted the tire with the tractor, used a ladder to climb into the bucket (never advisable, don't try this at home kids) and got it all put back together with a couple of trips into the house to get feeling back into my hands.   Then took a nap for a couple hours and have spent the evening drinking.
schild
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Reply #75 on: February 11, 2018, 12:48:29 AM

Really all I've learned here is you own a tractor.
Polysorbate80
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Reply #76 on: February 11, 2018, 12:50:24 AM

They're amazingly useful for those of us who live in the middle of fucking nowhere  awesome, for real
schild
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Reply #77 on: February 11, 2018, 12:52:45 AM

Alright then, things I need:

Tractor
Teleku
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http://tinyurl.com/d89qk7g


Reply #78 on: February 11, 2018, 08:13:50 AM

It sort looks like you made a child trebuchet....

"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants.  He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor."
-Stephen Colbert
Polysorbate80
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Reply #79 on: February 11, 2018, 09:01:39 AM

No, but an actual trebuchet is on the list of eventual projects  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
Samwise
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Reply #80 on: February 11, 2018, 11:59:29 AM

 I also thought it was a trebuchet and was like BEST DAD EVER.  But that's still pretty goddamn rad.

"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #81 on: February 11, 2018, 04:50:37 PM

Yep, I was on the trebuchet bandwagon as well until I read further. That's an awesome design idea, actually.

Samwise
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Reply #82 on: February 19, 2018, 09:54:24 PM

Okay, I mentioned a while back that this thread had inspired me to do something with my den (which has to this point mostly been a storage space for garden stuff), and that it's too unfortunately too small to set up a tiki bar. 

Behold the fully operational music nook!


"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
Polysorbate80
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Reply #83 on: February 20, 2018, 06:28:58 AM

Lava lamp!  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?  Got one of those hereóno vinyl collection though :(
Khaldun
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Reply #84 on: February 20, 2018, 06:54:04 AM

I was thinking that you could potentially swing pretty hard into the wooden beam, but then I remembered that's true of a tree-limb swing too. So carry on.
Samwise
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Reply #85 on: February 20, 2018, 03:33:45 PM

Lava lamp!  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?  Got one of those hereóno vinyl collection though :(

My dad gave me most of his old Beatles records more than a decade ago, so I've had a vinyl collection for at least that long, and I haven't had a decent stereo to play them on in all that time.

Now that I actually have a stereo and a decent amount of shelf space for more records, I have the perfect excuse to start browsing record stores.   Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
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