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Author Topic: calapine's thread for doings the Polandball  (Read 2102 times)
calapine
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on: January 22, 2017, 01:22:53 PM

So as not to offend the gods in the Sky (see what I did there??) here is an own Polandball thread. With hookers!






Putin: Russian prostitutes are the best in the world
Quote from: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
"Trump arrived and immediately went to meet with Russian prostitutes. Firstly, this person is already a grown man and secondly, a man who for many years has been organizing beauty pageants and has spoken to the most beautiful women in the world. You know, it’s hard for me to imagine that he went to a hotel to meet with… women who are very liberal towards social responsibility, although, without a doubt, they too are the best in the world. But I doubt that Trump would have got hooked on that.
Finally, you know what I want to say, prostitution is a serious, disgusting social phenomenon. After all, young women who do this also do it mostly because they have no other way of securing an income. This is mostly the fault of society and the government. And those who order such fake [news], which is now being spread against the US President-elect, also come up with it, in order to use it as a political weapon, are worse than prostitutes. They don’t have any moral limitations. As a matter of fact, Russia constantly has to deal with these kinds of people, our opponents."
« Last Edit: January 22, 2017, 01:37:41 PM by calapine »

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Soln
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Reply #1 on: January 22, 2017, 01:47:54 PM

Love me some Polandball.  The rights balls for our times.
calapine
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Reply #2 on: January 25, 2017, 08:53:38 AM





 Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly? Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly? Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly? Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

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Reply #3 on: January 26, 2017, 12:16:16 PM

Ingland suks!  awesome, for real

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pxib
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Reply #4 on: January 26, 2017, 06:16:44 PM

Goumindong
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Reply #5 on: January 26, 2017, 07:29:20 PM

Why is Ireland oogling New Zealand? Also how did they fuck up both the flag and the islands so bad.

(if its not NZ then why did they only pick one of the BAT's? and which one?)
Tale
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Reply #6 on: January 26, 2017, 08:44:15 PM

Why is Ireland oogling New Zealand? Also how did they fuck up both the flag and the islands so bad.

(if its not NZ then why did they only pick one of the BAT's? and which one?)

Not sure what you mean. The NZ flag is done in the same style as the Australian flag next to it. Those countries' flags are near-identical except that New Zealand has red stars and Australia has white stars for the Southern Cross (it's stars, not a drawing of islands).

And what do you mean by BAT? British Atlantic... British African... British something Territory? None of the countries shown are British territories. They're all fully independent. Two of them (controversially at home) still have the Union Jack as part of their flag due to conservative derp.

I thought it was well drawn. L-R sleepy Wales (dreaming of fucking a sheep), Scotland, South Africa, England pretending to be the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, United States, Ireland, Confederate rumblings (ball and chain, same as Scotland and Ireland), Canada.

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Count Nerfedalot
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Reply #7 on: January 26, 2017, 09:17:27 PM

oh! Wales and Confederates, I hadn't placed those! I thought NZ had about a zillion more sheep (and sheep dreams) than Wales? or so the ozzies assured me many years ago.

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Goumindong
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Reply #8 on: January 26, 2017, 10:20:44 PM

Sorry... Bot. British overseas territories.

there are only 4 stars on the NZ flag not 6. And they're in a pretty simple arrangement. It's the Aussie flag that has the stars all over the place. (And even then it would be wrong).
Tale
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Reply #9 on: January 26, 2017, 10:48:12 PM

NZ does have zillions of sheep... and the associated shagging cliches. But the artist is probably European and more aware of Wales.

Sorry... Bot. British overseas territories.

You need to update your geographical knowledge by a couple of centuries. There are very few British Overseas Territories -- they're just little places like Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, and Gibraltar.

New Zealand is not one of them. It's an independent nation of 4 million, a constitutional monarchy (the British monarch is still the ceremonial head of state, but the Prime Minister and government are fully in control of their own nation). Australia has a similar system.

Quote
there are only 4 stars on the NZ flag not 6. And they're in a pretty simple arrangement. It's the Aussie flag that has the stars all over the place. (And even then it would be wrong).

The Australian flag has exactly the same four stars of the Southern Cross (it's a constellation visible in the sky from both countries) as New Zealand. But Australia also bothers to show the little irrelevant star that is also part of the Southern Cross but doesn't help form the cross shape. And Australia has a sixth star (seven-pointed) representing its six founding states with an extra point to represent territories (states that are not quite states) and any future Australian states.

Both Australia and NZ retain the Union Jack as a quarter of their flag because... reasons. NZ had a referendum to change the flag last year, but it sort of failed and they got nowhere. Australia also regularly debates changing the stupid flag. As someone born in the UK but living in Australia, the Union Jack on the Australian flag seems pretty stupid because it says "British Overseas Territory" to you, and Australians don't realise this.

But this is a cartoon. Every flag is deliberately poorly drawn. It's just the artist's style.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2017, 10:51:01 PM by Tale »

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Goumindong
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Reply #10 on: January 27, 2017, 02:31:05 AM

You need to update your geographical knowledge by a couple of centuries. There are very few British Overseas Territories -- they're just little places like Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, and Gibraltar.

New Zealand is not one of them. It's an independent nation of 4 million, a constitutional monarchy (the British monarch is still the ceremonial head of state, but the Prime Minister and government are fully in control of their own nation). Australia has a similar system.

Yes, "if its not New Zealand, why did they only pick one of the British Overseas Territories". That is "if the ball in question does not represent the thing that is not a British Overseas Territory, why did they only pick one of the many territories which are tiny and inconsequential"

Quote
The Australian flag has exactly the same four stars of the Southern Cross (it's a constellation visible in the sky from both countries) as New Zealand. But Australia also bothers to show the little irrelevant star that is also part of the Southern Cross but doesn't help form the cross shape. And Australia has a sixth star (seven-pointed) representing its six founding states with an extra point to represent territories (states that are not quite states) and any future Australian states.

Both Australia and NZ retain the Union Jack as a quarter of their flag because... reasons. NZ had a referendum to change the flag last year, but it sort of failed and they got nowhere. Australia also regularly debates changing the stupid flag. As someone born in the UK but living in Australia, the Union Jack on the Australian flag seems pretty stupid because it says "British Overseas Territory" to you, and Australians don't realise this.

But this is a cartoon. Every flag is deliberately poorly drawn. It's just the artist's style.

Yes, i know the flags are poorly drawn. And i know what they look like. But 4 is not 6. And the NZ flag does not have 6 stars, and they aren't remotely in that orientation. The stripes on the USA don't go horizontally in the image. South Africa isn't backwards.. Every other flag (bar Australia) is depicted pretty damn accurate.

And so poorly drawn or not it becomes very difficult to tell what the actual fuck is being represented because every single BoT has the same Union Jack on the quarter of their flag. It literally could have been any one of them
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Reply #11 on: January 27, 2017, 05:33:08 AM

Also, was just drinking with some Australians yesterday for Australia day, and they all didn't consider themselves independent yet, still being ruled by the queen and all.   awesome, for real

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lamaros
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Reply #12 on: January 27, 2017, 04:21:12 PM

Also, was just drinking with some Australians yesterday for Australia day, and they all didn't consider themselves independent yet, still being ruled by the queen and all.   awesome, for real

There are idiots in every country.

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Reply #13 on: January 27, 2017, 05:59:26 PM

Australia introduced a plastic $2 note when I was there in the early 90's and boy did the disgruntled set have a lot of fun with that! It had a picture of the queen on the front, so there were lots of jokes about plastic and the queen of course. But the best were the physical jokes. Like putting a note face down on a carpeted floor, sticking your heel in the middle of it and rubbing back and forth a couple times wiped her completely off it!  Then there was the trick of putting the note in a microwave for a few seconds causing it to shrink to roughly half size before it started curling up and blackening.

Not that this has anything to do with Polandball or any of the previous discussion, but it still seems to fit here somehow!  why so serious?

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Viin
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Reply #14 on: January 27, 2017, 10:22:35 PM

This thread should probably be in Politics, but ... this is great. Governance by tweet:


- Viin
Ginaz
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Reply #15 on: January 29, 2017, 02:16:41 PM

Australia introduced a plastic $2 note when I was there in the early 90's and boy did the disgruntled set have a lot of fun with that! It had a picture of the queen on the front, so there were lots of jokes about plastic and the queen of course. But the best were the physical jokes. Like putting a note face down on a carpeted floor, sticking your heel in the middle of it and rubbing back and forth a couple times wiped her completely off it!  Then there was the trick of putting the note in a microwave for a few seconds causing it to shrink to roughly half size before it started curling up and blackening.

Not that this has anything to do with Polandball or any of the previous discussion, but it still seems to fit here somehow!  why so serious?

Canada switched to polymer banknotes a few years.  I know when they first came out they were shown to melt if left in a hot car in summer.

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calapine
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Reply #16 on: January 30, 2017, 02:20:41 PM

Here we go:



Thatsmyfetish.jpg

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Sir T
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Reply #17 on: February 01, 2017, 02:45:43 AM

I, for one, am strangely aroused.

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Reply #18 on: February 01, 2017, 05:24:10 AM

Nobody does "rough" better than zee Germans.

Spoilered because its a long picture:

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Reply #19 on: February 01, 2017, 08:39:48 AM

Hey, the Feast Day of St. Bloodworth isn't until tomorrow. 

(Look literally four posts up from yours.)  

(OMG Groundhog Bloodworth day is tomorrow!!!  Everyone remember to repost your favorite old shit.)

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Reply #20 on: February 01, 2017, 11:52:05 AM

Isn't St Bloodworth's day tomorrow?

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Reply #21 on: February 01, 2017, 12:45:09 PM

It's always today and yesterday.

Sir T
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Reply #22 on: February 02, 2017, 12:05:57 AM

Just remember they keep Bloodworthing the day every 7 days.

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calapine
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Reply #23 on: February 16, 2017, 09:47:34 AM



Country key:

Scotland - United Kingdom - Wales

Galica - Basque (being beamed) - Spain - Catalonia

United States - Indian speaking Navajo

Aborigines - Australia

Corsiaq - Breton - Alsace - France


The joke is that France historically was somewhat "Français über Alles!  in it's language politics.

Wikipedia about the Third Republic:

"The only language allowed in primary school was French. All other languages were forbidden, even in the schoolyard, and transgressions were severely punished.[4] After 1918, the use of German in Alsace-Lorraine was outlawed. In 1925, Anatole de Monzie, Minister of public education, stated that "for the linguistic unity of France, the Breton language must disappear." As a result, the speakers of minority languages began to be ashamed when using their own language – especially in the educational system – and over time, many families stopped teaching their language to their children and tried to speak only French with them."



That's why Polandball should be mandatory, it's educational!
« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 09:49:05 AM by calapine »

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NowhereMan
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Reply #24 on: February 16, 2017, 09:59:29 AM

It's simultaneously funny and tragic that modern French is basically just the Parisian dialect. France was probably even more linguistically diverse than the UK and over the course of 3 centuries it was just wiped out. It's also interesting in the sense of national divergence in terms of how to deal with it, Britain never really made any concerted effort state effort to impose a standard dialect (although class snobbery and other factors made it clear there was a 'standard' with all others being impure versions) and you can see it in areas like the creation of the first dictionaries. Johnson's dictionary was a project to map the English language, the French dictionary was a project to create the French language. Cartography versus landscape engineering if you will.

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calapine
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Reply #25 on: February 16, 2017, 10:02:27 AM

So...English Garden vs jardin à la française repeated with language?  wink

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Reply #26 on: February 17, 2017, 05:55:44 AM

Well, there's a reason that the Académie française still exists.

Having learned both French and Spanish in the course of 3-4 years, French can just go away in my opinion. I feel snobbish whenever I have to speak French; it's a baked-in quality of the language.

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Reply #27 on: February 17, 2017, 06:09:16 AM

My favourite random language facts are both in French and Spanish.

In Spanish, the word for a fish is 'pez'. But that's the word for a fish that's swimming around and still alive. If you go to a supermarket or restaurant and buy fish to eat, it's called 'pescado'. Which is a past participle of the verb 'pescar' meaning, 'to fish'. So pescado is 'one who has been fished'.

In English, most of our words for meat are from the French - pork/porc, beef/boeuf, pullet (archaic now)/poulet - while the names of animals that give us meat are mostly Saxon in origin - cow, swine, hen, etc. Because after the Norman invasion, the French nobles were the ones who ate the meat while the Saxon peasants were the ones who raised the animals.

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calapine
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Reply #28 on: February 17, 2017, 09:10:12 AM

Well, there's a reason that the Académie française still exists.

Having learned both French and Spanish in the course of 3-4 years, French can just go away in my opinion. I feel snobbish whenever I have to speak French; it's a baked-in quality of the language.

But it's a very nice language. If you dont care about speaking it yourself, what about women who talk in French? wink

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Merusk
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Reply #29 on: February 17, 2017, 10:13:47 AM

I'm with Jamie Lee on that front. It's all about Russian.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSK3BpSfULo

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Reply #30 on: February 17, 2017, 10:44:26 AM

Well, there's a reason that the Académie française still exists.

Having learned both French and Spanish in the course of 3-4 years, French can just go away in my opinion. I feel snobbish whenever I have to speak French; it's a baked-in quality of the language.

But it's a very nice language. If you dont care about speaking it yourself, what about women who talk in French? wink

They don't shower or shave their pits

We prefer nerdy Deutsch speakers  Ohhhhh, I see.
calapine
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Reply #31 on: February 19, 2017, 07:22:36 AM


But it's a very nice language. If you dont care about speaking it yourself, what about women who talk in French? wink

They don't shower or shave their pits

We prefer nerdy Deutsch speakers  Ohhhhh, I see.

Well, I am happy to report that all my pits are shaved!

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Jimbo
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Reply #32 on: February 19, 2017, 07:50:01 AM

OMG! French speaking gals are sexy! But most of them I heard were French Canadian, so is that more the hillbillies of French speakers?
Reg
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Reply #33 on: February 19, 2017, 08:10:32 AM

Hah. Pretty much. We all learn French at school in Canada but the first time we visit Quebec you can't understand a word because we're not taught the Quebec dialect.
calapine
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Reply #34 on: February 19, 2017, 03:50:40 PM



The cutest Holocaust joke I am aware of.

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
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