f13.net

So as not to offend the gods in the Sky (see what I did there??) here is an own Polandball thread. With hookers!



(https://i.imgur.com/5d4UBes.png)


Putin: Russian prostitutes are the best in the world (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVMOd45K65Y)

Love me some Polandball.  The rights balls for our times.

(https://i.imgur.com/faBew5L.png)



 :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

Ingland suks!  :awesome_for_real:

(http://i.imgur.com/xKAP3.png)

Why is Ireland oogling New Zealand? Also how did they fuck up both the flag and the islands so bad.

(if its not NZ then why did they only pick one of the BAT's? and which one?)

Not sure what you mean. The NZ flag is done in the same style as the Australian flag next to it. Those countries' flags are near-identical except that New Zealand has red stars and Australia has white stars for the Southern Cross (it's stars, not a drawing of islands).

And what do you mean by BAT? British Atlantic... British African... British something Territory? None of the countries shown are British territories. They're all fully independent. Two of them (controversially at home) still have the Union Jack as part of their flag due to conservative derp.

I thought it was well drawn. L-R sleepy Wales (dreaming of fucking a sheep), Scotland, South Africa, England pretending to be the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, United States, Ireland, Confederate rumblings (ball and chain, same as Scotland and Ireland), Canada.

oh! Wales and Confederates, I hadn't placed those! I thought NZ had about a zillion more sheep (and sheep dreams) than Wales? or so the ozzies assured me many years ago.

Sorry... Bot. British overseas territories.

there are only 4 stars on the NZ flag not 6. And they're in a pretty simple arrangement. It's the Aussie flag that has the stars all over the place. (And even then it would be wrong).

NZ does have zillions of sheep... and the associated shagging cliches. But the artist is probably European and more aware of Wales.


You need to update your geographical knowledge by a couple of centuries. There are very few British Overseas Territories -- they're just little places like Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, and Gibraltar.

New Zealand is not one of them. It's an independent nation of 4 million, a constitutional monarchy (the British monarch is still the ceremonial head of state, but the Prime Minister and government are fully in control of their own nation). Australia has a similar system.


The Australian flag has exactly the same four stars of the Southern Cross (it's a constellation visible in the sky from both countries) as New Zealand. But Australia also bothers to show the little irrelevant star that is also part of the Southern Cross but doesn't help form the cross shape. And Australia has a sixth star (seven-pointed) representing its six founding states with an extra point to represent territories (states that are not quite states) and any future Australian states.

Both Australia and NZ retain the Union Jack as a quarter of their flag because... reasons. NZ had a referendum to change the flag last year, but it sort of failed and they got nowhere. Australia also regularly debates changing the stupid flag. As someone born in the UK but living in Australia, the Union Jack on the Australian flag seems pretty stupid because it says "British Overseas Territory" to you, and Australians don't realise this.

But this is a cartoon. Every flag is deliberately poorly drawn. It's just the artist's style.

Yes, "if its not New Zealand, why did they only pick one of the British Overseas Territories". That is "if the ball in question does not represent the thing that is not a British Overseas Territory, why did they only pick one of the many territories which are tiny and inconsequential"


Yes, i know the flags are poorly drawn. And i know what they look like. But 4 is not 6. And the NZ flag does not have 6 stars, and they aren't remotely in that orientation. The stripes on the USA don't go horizontally in the image. South Africa isn't backwards.. Every other flag (bar Australia) is depicted pretty damn accurate.

And so poorly drawn or not it becomes very difficult to tell what the actual fuck is being represented because every single BoT has the same Union Jack on the quarter of their flag. It literally could have been any one of them

Also, was just drinking with some Australians yesterday for Australia day, and they all didn't consider themselves independent yet, still being ruled by the queen and all.   :awesome_for_real:

There are idiots in every country.

Australia introduced a plastic $2 note when I was there in the early 90's and boy did the disgruntled set have a lot of fun with that! It had a picture of the queen on the front, so there were lots of jokes about plastic and the queen of course. But the best were the physical jokes. Like putting a note face down on a carpeted floor, sticking your heel in the middle of it and rubbing back and forth a couple times wiped her completely off it!  Then there was the trick of putting the note in a microwave for a few seconds causing it to shrink to roughly half size before it started curling up and blackening.

Not that this has anything to do with Polandball or any of the previous discussion, but it still seems to fit here somehow!  :why_so_serious:

This thread should probably be in Politics, but ... this is great. Governance by tweet:

Canada switched to polymer banknotes a few years.  I know when they first came out they were shown to melt if left in a hot car in summer.

Here we go:

(https://i.imgur.com/ktdfdq2.png)

Thatsmyfetish.jpg

I, for one, am strangely aroused.

Nobody does "rough" better than zee Germans.

Spoilered because its a long picture:

Hey, the Feast Day of St. Bloodworth isn't until tomorrow. 

(Look literally four posts up from yours.)  

(OMG Groundhog Bloodworth day is tomorrow!!!  Everyone remember to repost your favorite old shit.)

Isn't St Bloodworth's day tomorrow?

It's always today and yesterday.

Just remember they keep Bloodworthing the day every 7 days.

(https://i.imgur.com/6YyGXCd.png)

Country key:

Scotland - United Kingdom - Wales

Galica - Basque (being beamed) - Spain - Catalonia

United States - Indian speaking Navajo

Aborigines - Australia

Corsiaq - Breton - Alsace - France


The joke is that France historically was somewhat "Français über Alles!  in it's language politics.

Wikipedia about the Third Republic:

"The only language allowed in primary school was French. All other languages were forbidden, even in the schoolyard, and transgressions were severely punished.[4] After 1918, the use of German in Alsace-Lorraine was outlawed. In 1925, Anatole de Monzie, Minister of public education, stated that "for the linguistic unity of France, the Breton language must disappear." As a result, the speakers of minority languages began to be ashamed when using their own language – especially in the educational system – and over time, many families stopped teaching their language to their children and tried to speak only French with them."



That's why Polandball should be mandatory, it's educational!

It's simultaneously funny and tragic that modern French is basically just the Parisian dialect. France was probably even more linguistically diverse than the UK and over the course of 3 centuries it was just wiped out. It's also interesting in the sense of national divergence in terms of how to deal with it, Britain never really made any concerted effort state effort to impose a standard dialect (although class snobbery and other factors made it clear there was a 'standard' with all others being impure versions) and you can see it in areas like the creation of the first dictionaries. Johnson's dictionary was a project to map the English language, the French dictionary was a project to create the French language. Cartography versus landscape engineering if you will.

So...English Garden vs jardin à la française repeated with language?  :wink:

Well, there's a reason that the Académie française still exists.

Having learned both French and Spanish in the course of 3-4 years, French can just go away in my opinion. I feel snobbish whenever I have to speak French; it's a baked-in quality of the language.

My favourite random language facts are both in French and Spanish.

In Spanish, the word for a fish is 'pez'. But that's the word for a fish that's swimming around and still alive. If you go to a supermarket or restaurant and buy fish to eat, it's called 'pescado'. Which is a past participle of the verb 'pescar' meaning, 'to fish'. So pescado is 'one who has been fished'.

In English, most of our words for meat are from the French - pork/porc, beef/boeuf, pullet (archaic now)/poulet - while the names of animals that give us meat are mostly Saxon in origin - cow, swine, hen, etc. Because after the Norman invasion, the French nobles were the ones who ate the meat while the Saxon peasants were the ones who raised the animals.

But it's a very nice language. If you dont care about speaking it yourself, what about women who talk in French? :wink:

I'm with Jamie Lee on that front. It's all about Russian.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSK3BpSfULo

They don't shower or shave their pits

We prefer nerdy Deutsch speakers  :oh_i_see:

Well, I am happy to report that all my pits are shaved!

OMG! French speaking gals are sexy! But most of them I heard were French Canadian, so is that more the hillbillies of French speakers?

Hah. Pretty much. We all learn French at school in Canada but the first time we visit Quebec you can't understand a word because we're not taught the Quebec dialect.

(https://i.redd.it/m906ln46cmgy.png)

The cutest Holocaust joke I am aware of.

You know the requisite response to this.

This is the polandballs thread. T&A is -> thataway.

What if it's Polandball T&A?

I find all of this hysterically funny, although I still have to understand what this is all about  :grin:

(http://i.imgur.com/KstJxeQ.png)

The best porn is always someone else's.

Who's that between Japan and Wales? Also fantastic.

No idea, it's too small. On second though, I think I should have posted this one anyway, better:

(https://i.imgur.com/q1aHCki.png)


(Blocky guy = Reichtangle, a hypothetical 4th Reich)

Search of European flags indicate it's likely Northern Ireland.

Edit: not that I know why. My main question is what is the country for nauruto. Am I blanking on a state which sounds like that?

Edit: found it apparently Nauru is a country

(https://i.imgur.com/xljEUJt.png)

America, now double the asshole!

These always make me laugh.  Thank you!

Welcome!

And right away a follow up one. This one made me actually cackle:

(https://i.imgur.com/mGCMcIc.png)

 :grin:

 :rofl:

Anericuh isn't fat enough.

Countries playing D&D:


(https://i.imgur.com/aItMhCw.png)

For those that need explanation: The joke is about the Turkish proclivity for bombing Syrian Kurds in what is supposed to be an anti-isis operation. One example:

Reuters: Turkey bombs Syrian Kurdish militia allied to U.S.-backed force (http://www.reuters.com/article/us-mideast-crisis-syria-kurds-idUSKCN12K0ER)

Turkey having a problem with minority ethnicities? Naw, never happened.

(http://i.imgur.com/LklMaHM.png)


I don't watch the news and have no clue what's going on here: France has their presidential elections soon. Currently  the far right candidate Marine Le Pen polls in the second place.

Military experts are calling this a visual pun.

She pretty much said stuff over the last couple days that would have made Eva Braun think nervously about her future as Adolph's main squeeze.

Might have something to do with Germany being one of the few voices of reason left on the planet as well.

Zat's what zey want you to tink, ja?  :why_so_serious:

Ja.

This is actually hilarious.
 (https://i.redditmedia.com/PDtUAy2SECNd6oYDfZQznaa3QeMBmQHrjPGp-pos7A0.png?w=460&s=c0a73470cb068f8b5a20ef704b06bd05)

That got me a few chortles.

(http://i.imgur.com/S18ULRU.png)

              Dr. Austria and Soviet


(http://i.imgur.com/DSkGB2U.png)


PM me if you need the joke explained!   :hello_kitty_2:

Blunt Order (https://imgur.com/7inPhTE)

Here comes a big one! (I'll add a spoiler later, dont worry)

Season I

(https://i.imgur.com/seGIeMS.jpg)

Season II


Season III

Amazing!

(https://i.imgur.com/v3cueRX.png)

 :rofl:

That one got me.

There is an entire series of that:


(https://i.redd.it/6jzu6933bo1y.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/s8tDEml.png)

Not quite Polandball but...

(https://scontent.fdub2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/s480x480/19905202_883256461812687_2599446581163956187_n.jpg?oh=805141c46b5e4fe7b34afb74b052c684&oe=59F436F7)

(https://i.redd.it/wg46y52y34cz.png)

 :grin:


(http://i.imgur.com/WvU9dj9.png)


Maybe slightly controversial. :why_so_serious:

(http://i.imgur.com/w0KpgHj.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/R6mZqdL.png)


So cute and adorable.  :heart: :heart:

Also, does anyone else feel like Russia in the last panel when having cramps and uh, abdominal bloating?

Like "God, why did you make me a beached whale??!"

(http://i.imgur.com/o1aFW0s.png)

Happy 78th anniversary of the start of Fall Weiß, everyone!  :why_so_serious:

Thanks for keeping this up Calapine. I for one appreciate it. What's Fall Weiss btw?

Plan White. The Nazi invasion of Poland.

Yes, by coincide(?) the last Polandball was submitted at the start of WW2.

Jeff Kelly would be our resident poster for such topics but he is far too moral to make edgy comments so I am playing the role of Ersatzgerman here.

Which reminds me of a factoid: Soldier slang for the Volkssturm (old peoples militia in the last months of the war) was Ersatzreserveersatz. = Replacement Reserve Replacement. Really nice from a languagr point of view, it encompasses the scrapping the bottom of the barrel nature so well.

Edit: But I really would like to post more wholesome Poland balls. They are hard to find though.

(https://i.redd.it/eayps7gbbyiz.png)

This word breaks my brain.

(https://i.redd.it/0vagag9xi8qz.png)

Ouch. :sad_red_panda:

(https://i.imgur.com/u25awhp.png)

Not sure this the most fun Polandball ever, but it's educational, so it's good.

Be honest, who does know what CAR stands for?



Funfact: CAR is the country with the lowest GDP per capita in the world. It also is the lowest ranked country in the Human Development Index.

I somehow remembered CAR from 5th grade social studies class when we had to memorize maps of every continent and cut them out of construction paper and shit.  If you'd asked me five minutes ago whether that country actually still existed I'd have been stumped.

In strangely unrelated news, US Embassy Bangui is always looking for people to fill vacant positions.   :awesome_for_real:

CAR has been in the news quite a bit recently what with the everyone killing everyone else bit over whos imaginary friend is bigger.

absolutely not

They can't even keep a sole-officer consular section open, which should tell you something.

Staff goes native Colonel Kurtz style and the state department has to send a spec ops diplomat to take down another file registry clerk who is living as god among the primitives?

"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a Form I94-W . That's my dream; that's my nightmare.

Friend of mine has just taken a 2 year posting to Sierra Leone. He claims it was more or less an accident as he was enquiring for someone else that was interested in the position and got the hard sell. He felt a bit too embarrassed to stop the selling and then felt the guy had spent quite a bit of time and that it would be rude to turn down the job offer.

This is how the British Civil Service staffs undesirable appointments. All the most polite civil servants are in far flung hell holes hardship postings.

Oh hey, British version of myself (I was suppose to go to Freetown for 2 years instead of Moscow, originally).  Except I was told I was going after being given the illusion of choice.   :awesome_for_real:

If things have died down a bit since the ebola outbreak, its actually not suppose to be that bad.  Low violent crime, actual decent night life scene for singles, some of the nicest beaches in Africa....

You can in fact do a lot worst in West Africa!
(https://isiseurope.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/numero-2.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/2C8x0WN.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/hyPyJjA.jpg)

Oh dear.   :pedobear:

i ruse  :why_so_serious:

(https://i.imgur.com/jPYmW7G.jpg)

What's the history with Israel being a box instead of a sphere?

It's a riff on the so called "unarian Jewish physics" by Einstein and other.

See here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deutsche_Physik#Under_the_Third_Reich

Also:
(http://i.imgur.com/4SWAGIf.png)

Makes sense now?  :grin:

Pyramids or it didn't happen.

(https://i.imgur.com/nwSrnPO.png)


Great anti-climax twist ending.  :grin:

(https://i.imgur.com/didBOx8.gif)

In case the gif link doesn't load, enjoy the mp4 version - https://i.imgur.com/didBOx8.mp4

Oh goodness that’s just amazing

Time for more balls:

(https://i.imgur.com/CLLLDuI.jpg)


(https://i.redd.it/dv56wmbsbkyz.png)

My (American) ex-wife didn't speak much French when we lived in Paris. She knew a few words, mostly from menus. One day, she asked me, "If bananas are 'bananes' what are ananas?"

Because I am an asshole, I told her that EU regulations said that bananas that curved to the left had to be called bananes, while those that curved to the right were ananas. For a beautiful 10-15 seconds, she believed it too.

(https://i.imgur.com/tzF5wp2.png)


After the politics of the last few days this feels soo right.  :grin:

That's one slow ass trolley.

Old but good:

(https://i.imgur.com/U8MQch0.png)

Some of those are gold. SBS made me laugh.

The Speznatz-GRU "46 of 3 suspects killed" one got me.

Foreign Legion is the best I think.

“Hostages Rescures, Terrorists recruited”

The Egyptian one is pretty legit.

I asked a Swede and he confirmed this is accurate:

(https://i.imgur.com/3ju17sW.png)

Filo, meet Sophia:


(https://i.imgur.com/VeS6rDu.png)

 :ye_gods:

Jesus.

OH...

FUCK.

That was bestest.

Glad I'm not the only one who didn't feel bad for laughing.

It wasn't until the second read through that I realised that it wasn't actually America in the last panel...

Took me about 3 to realize the hat says MRGA, not MAGA.  I R Slow today

Polandball is best

MPGA?

TWIST!  good one

(https://i.imgur.com/CpYperH.png)

I really like how USball manages to be racist in such an adorable way here.  :heart:

Deflation happens a lot to overweight people over a certain age.

Or, so I've heard <.< >.>

What? That has nothing to to with the comic?  :uhrr:

Uh... dunno why it woud have been so close to my mind. <.< >.>

(https://i.imgur.com/paR5QKj.png)

 :awesome_for_real:

(https://i.imgur.com/ndX2GBj.png)

I'd watch that porn!

(https://i.imgur.com/rLQpzWo.png)

Not a polandball, but the same spirit.

(https://scontent.fdub2-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/36690410_873438732848471_809490224492052480_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=dfec2e6ab6509c85779226040f75fd53&oe=5BA21D01)

(https://i.imgur.com/AkD7Prk.png)

It's important to put things into it's proper context!  :grin:

But makes me feel sorry for poor Ukraineballs.  :oh_i_see:

I used to hate pineapple in general but especially on pizza. My tastes in this regard have recently changed.

That's a shitty Polandball. Not funny comparison fuck.

It’s become a really wierd internet meme to hate on Hawaiian pizza lately.  Everybody is suddenly doing it just because.

Particularly strange since its the best form of pizza.

Eh, it's educational. My bet is your normal polandballreader never heard about the Holodomor, for example.

That aside, I really like black humour.

Eh, I think if a polandball hasn’t offended *somebody* (and it’s ok if it’s me) before making me giggle it’s failed somehow.  It’s part of the genre.

(https://i.imgur.com/9biVntZ.png)

Austria always joins the party!  :grin:

(https://i.imgur.com/kudEb4h.png)


I picked one where Murica has the last laugh, as I know you guys are don't so good lately. What with that orange President, and all the guns, and you probably don't even have a gay Vorteilscard....

I don't know that it's factual. I sometimes wonder if having Canada so close just draws attention to all of our fucked up policy.

Can't comment on that. The Sweden one is true though, everyone in Europe is so sick of them topping [women in employment/education/healthcare] stats lists.

Thankfully they are now being taken over by Rapefugees so it's our turn to be smug.


Greentext, obviously

They apparently also have a badass bikini team.  :grin:

(http://i.imgur.com/xvEoujO.jpg)

I would be interested in a follow up here.

Actshually:

Blades 101..... :rofl:

Yeah that killed me. Laughed out loud at work.

(http://i.imgur.com/NC44xnd.jpg)


If you like these kind of anti-jokes you should hang out with me.  :grin:

(http://i.imgur.com/3y2AMZH.jpg)

That's my new favourite. :heart: :heart: :heart:

You’d get along with my D&D group perfectly.

Britain teaches South Africa not to be racist:


(http://i.imgur.com/qy7QSTF.jpg)

(The father-son thing US-UK have going on is heartwarming. :))

My biggest problem reading these is that most of the time I have no idea who the flags are.  :why_so_serious:

South Africa pre and post apartheid

(https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/av8ODEb_460swp.webp)

(https://i.imgur.com/3wNoiJO.png)



This Polandball is based on real events. The Misused English words and expressions in EU publications (https://www.eca.europa.eu/Other%20publications/EN_TERMINOLOGY_PUBLICATION/EN_TERMINOLOGY_PUBLICATION.pdf) guide has further examples.


It makes for a fun read - if you are into language - as you can really tell the author just about had it with the English language being butchered:

(https://i.imgur.com/EFcwA1D.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/gdSrqzO.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/aiBXAIT.png)

Reading that along with those definitions under the influence of too many poolside Mai-Tais is a weird combination of WTF and time-cubish almost-makes-sense.  In an effort not to accidentally invoke the Great Old Ones, I will wait until vacation is over to re-read them...

The English used in EU legal text is hilarious, it's like some sort of bizarre dialect. Obviously not so funny when there are legal issues, or when our continental European friends keep trying to translate or correct documents drafted by native speakers.

Posted that once (twice?) before.

But no matter, love it. That cartoon is my spirit animal.  :grin: :uhrr: :oh_i_see:

(https://i.imgur.com/cZq8oQn.png)

Just wait until I sobered up enough for my next sanctimonious post about EU vs US!

Well. sobering up certainly did not help my understanding of the earlier Euro-english translations. 

Perhaps next time I should go the opposite direction and try black-out levels of intoxication?

It works for Europe.

As long as I don't wake up Swedish

Apparently I was blackout drunk last night.  Maybe I’m more Scandinavian than I thought  :ye_gods:

(https://i.redd.it/cwgttpeu7di21.png)

Polandballs in which countries are cute or dorky are the best.  :heart:

Background of course being that the Polish language and vowels aren't quite on speaking terms.

I can confirm.   :oh_i_see:

Sometimes the cab drivers in Warsaw didn’t know (or didn’t understand what I was trying to say) the street I lived on, so I had to use a landmark to get them to go to.  The only landmark nearby is a place called Trzech Krzyzy.  While I was very thankful for that single E to give me something to build a foundation around, it was never fun.

Yeah, Slavic countries can be fun -- I remember vacationing on Krk island in Croatia when I was a kid and it just felt wrong (also, does this mean that 'buying a vowel' is not a good choice on Wheel of Fortune?  :awesome_for_real:). Obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfKZclMWS1U

 :grin:

Wow. We vactioned 80 km apart.

When I was kid (must have been around 1987-90) we used to spend the summer holiday in Rovinj / Red Island a few times.

Still have a picture of me sitting rider-like on one of those medival guns at the coast. When swimming I got got pushed against rocks by a wave. It just scratched my skin but I still have a tiny scar. (guess due to contact salt water?). Feeling nostalgic.

How easy was holiday in yugoslavia for east-block families? (Due to it being socialist but not Warsaw pact or behind the iron curtain).

Honestly, I was so young I only remember the sea urchins and their many spines. Well okay, "oskrbnik centar" was memorable too.  :awesome_for_real:

Hungary-Yugoslavia had a very interesting relationship in the communist era, because a lot of Yugoslavia used to be part of Hungary (in fact, my family has some distant relatives, we were visiting them in Krk). I don't remember any significant drama on that border, though it was obv a hard border with fairly strict contraband checks.

Papers, please!

The opening song from Alexander Hamilton in Polish (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx_PefIH8Gw)

After listening to that, I ask how it’s possible to say anything in Polish that doesn’t sound vaguely like you hate the person you’re speaking to

Because its from Poland?

And now its stuck in my head. Gaaaah.

That was really good though.  I always wonder how they have to "contort" other languages when translating musicals from the original.  I mean, I can't tell here because of the whole not-speaking-Polish thing, but it was enjoyable to listen to.  I'd forgotten how spoken Polish sounded though, lol!  They definitely forgot the vowels when coming up with it.

Well, as a quick look around the various editions of the Bible can attest, translation is an art rather than a science. You can either go with exactly the syntax of the words which could sound terrible in your own language, or you can go with the sense of what was said originally, but written in a poetic way. Or somewhere in between.

Lol, I saw this comment on the youtube and I think it sums it up much better than I ever could.

All right, time to buy some new office toys... (https://www.anna-fortune.com/product-category/countryballs/)

79 USD for a EUBall! :ye_gods:

I am not made out of money.  :mob:

I see $49 for the regular and $55 for the one with the propeller beanie, is it maybe added VAT or something for you?  Whatevs, we could just get one and ship it to you.

Haven't made up my mind for myself but I'm definitely getting the Prussia for my D&D buddy, his Masters in history focused on Early 20th century Europe and he's a big WWI nerd.

I find Finland with the bottle and knife highly amusing, even though I have zero Finnish heritage.

(https://i.imgur.com/19CjBpN.png)

Non-serious: I thought this would take a different turn. Shame...

Serious: There is actually going something on with Schengen and Switzerland right now. Some EU wide gun law changes are going to affect them as well and they are going to vote on them. A no would likely push them out of the common travel area. OTOH they had a quit a big impact on the details of the law, despite nominally not having a vote on its creation. Very interesting example of interdependence. Zeit had a long article on this, I could provide a translation if wanted.

Is it something to do with their mandatory militia service, or something else?

Or perhaps that every Swiss person I think I've ever met has been some sort of smug jerk :oh_i_see:

Yes, and keeping the assault rifle after service.

(https://i.imgur.com/OAbczO1.png)


Doo doo doo

Is ‘Murica mistaking Iceland for Norway part of the joke?  I feel like i’m missing something somewhere.

But I am slow  :oh_i_see:

I assumed it was intentional, yes.

I also like that even Australia's vomit contains spiders.

I didn't even notice it, but America mis-geographing countries is a running joke, yes.

Look what I just found :

(https://i.redd.it/tk8rb0job5t11.jpg)

 :heart: :grin:

(https://i.gifer.com/Fzuw.gif)

Cthulhu-ish ball gag for the win.  :grin:  I guess it's probably a jellyfish but whatever.

Also, "The Vomit Spiders" is definitely the name of my future punk band.  If I ever learn to play anything properly.

Although, we are talking about punk here.  Is musical talent really a pre-requisite?

Edit: Reykjavik for New Year’s is one of my bucket list items.  I’ll have to try some puke-shark, since I’m sure I’ll be on the verge of alcohol poisoning anyway...

If you're a punk purist, musical talent is actually contraindicated.

(https://i.redd.it/5390p80uxrv21.png)

Now I know where I picked up at the habit of starting a post with "Guys..."

Also, everything is US' fault!  :grin:

(https://i.imgur.com/25IvWh9.png)

Heh

True

(https://i.imgur.com/QJwKnuY.png)

What makes ‘Murica even worse there is that the “w” is properly pronounced more as a “v”  :oh_i_see:

Although there is a tiny patch that is technically British territory.  We could bomb that!

(https://i.imgur.com/16EOTdx.png)

Background is that, unlike farm land that is regularly plowed, for the ground in forests stores the the Caesium-137. Which is taken up by plants and mushrooms. Which are then eating by pigs, thus them having still a high contamination even some years after the incident.

(sorry for the engrish)

Why does Slovakia have an eye patch?

Wiki knows all:

https://polandball.fandom.com/wiki/Eyepatch
Reference:
(https://i.imgur.com/fj9qmOQ.png)
Notice how if you think of a flag as a "skin" to wrap around the front 120 degrees or so of a Polandball the insignia would cover one of the eyes.

Correct. Which leads to poor Austria-Hungary:




(http://i.imgur.com/LuB9Qjm.png)


Bonus funfact: Austria-Hungary was so woke and diverse! it didn't even have a flag, but each part of the dual monarchy had their own:

House colours of House Habsburg                                                   Kingdom of Hungary
(Flag of Austrian side of the realm)                        

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7a/Flag_of_the_Habsburg_Monarchy.svg/2880px-Flag_of_the_Habsburg_Monarchy.svg.png) (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/32/Flag_of_Hungary_%281915-1918%3B_angels%3B_3-2_aspect_ratio%29.svg/1920px-Flag_of_Hungary_%281915-1918%3B_angels%3B_3-2_aspect_ratio%29.svg.png)

And....I don't get it  :why_so_serious:

That strip is using the "civic ensign" for Austria-Hungary to represent the joined entity in the comic:

(https://i.imgur.com/eoV4fUA.png)

So following the aforementioned insignia eyepatch idiom in the Polandball universe the combined character in the strip gets the double-eyepatch treatment.

(https://i.redd.it/1xeb5gl2oq831.png)

Wroooom!   :awesome_for_real:

(https://i.imgur.com/jOUX9bj.jpg)

 :ye_gods:

 :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real: :awesome_for_real:

Got-damn.  :why_so_serious:

...

I'll be in my bunk.

Posted before, but I just want to share my all time favourite Poland comic. The Engrish dialogue is gold:


(http://i.imgur.com/jo194tP.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/wcsrv0H.png)

No bang bang. Ameriball too beaucoup  :awesome_for_real:

(https://i.redd.it/6qlgya2fqsl31.png)

I'm just facinated with the clock on the wall. That apperently took less than a minute.

Austria prides itself on efficiency.

(https://i.redd.it/is64l25ebuw41.png)

And something topical:

(https://i.redd.it/lkejfw3k2z151.png)

I think this is my favorite thread. Thanks, Calapine!

Thank you!!!

Leago of nations. Don't cry when you see panel 8!



(https://i.redd.it/o57s2wevcg351.png)

DAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNN YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!  :cry2:

(https://i.imgur.com/Wm10eVk.png)


 :why_so_serious: :why_so_serious:

Edit: And don't you "but muh craft beer! " me.

One more!



(https://i.redd.it/vhnar2ptnq151.png)

Best polandball ever right there.

This is especially funny because German beer is garbage compared to Czech beer.   :why_so_serious:

The US has a significantly better beer scene than Germany now.  Every time I go back I'm actually pretty sad about the quality of beer there, I think it's been getting worst over the last decade.  They've let a few major companies just dominate and serve only the same few mass produced options, and they haven't upped their game at all.  The US is kicking the shit out of Germany for beer right now (and has been for awhile).

 :-P

Edit:  And yeah, I think the Czechs have done a better job maintaining their quality and even innovating a bit over the last decade.  Beer in general does seem better down their now when I visit.

That's why I said dont @ me with craft beer. ;D It's a cheap joke, not a nuanced critique.

I do like Dead Pony (https://www.brewdog.com/eu_en/dead-pony-club-eu), and that's as far as my craft-beer knowledge goes. More a Most (=cider) person.

I remember being really impressed by German beer when I went to Europe for the first time right after college, and then a few years ago when I returned to Germany after more than a decade I was disappointed to find that my fond memories were mostly the result of an unsophisticated palate.  It's fine as far as mass market beer goes, but that's very faint praise.

The minihorse slayed me.

As for craft beer, yeah, I think America is doing a pretty good job of it, except for all the assholes making IPAs whose only focus is "HOW MUCH MORE BITTER AND HOPPY CAN WE MAKE THIS, BROSEF?!!!"

Fuck your hops. Give me a good stout any goddamn day.

Everyones beer tends to be the worst in their home country, just like everyones wine tends to be the worst in their home country.

No one exports the cheap shit. They're not selling 3 buck chuck in france

I don't think this actually works the same way for beer.  Most of my favorite beers (both at home and some of those I've discovered abroad) don't get exported because they aren't produced in large enough quantities for that to make sense.  None of my favorite local breweries are even able to ship their beer out of the state, much less the country.  In the other direction, I'm sure I could technically get a case of Isle of Skye Black Ale airmailed to me if I went through the right channels but the shipping would add at least a 1000% markup, so for practical purposes stuff like that is inaccessible unless I go back to the place of origin.

I actually signed up to (and am enjoying enough not to have cancelled) a craft beer subscription thing precisely because they are buying up craft beers from random countries that I think I'd only ever see in a few niche shops and even then probably not. The US beer 'revolution' has done a lot to produce some really interesting and enjoyable beers, even the fruit stuff has been interesting as more than just weirdly sweet Belgian cherry beer. Apart from the stupid IPA obsession I'm a fan of American craft beers, even if I still the UK has one of the better domestic beer scenes, probably because it's a style of beer I like and many of the breweries here have been flexible enough to improve or innovate their product lines.

I think Germany does have pretty good quality lager and some good Hefeweizens but, if you're not into crisp, clean lagers, I don't think it's got that much more to offer. Admittedly in summer that's probably enough

Local store used to have an excellent variety of all kinds. Reds, ambers, stouts, honey ales. Twas lovely. Now it's a wall of easily 75% IPAs that are all different variations of juniper flavored moose piss. Fucking hipsters with their shitass taste.

Find a better local store?   :drill:  My favorite taproom/bottle shop (https://www.liquidgoldsf.com/live-tap-menu) does a really good job of having a well-curated selection of dark beers (which is the reason it's my favorite bottle shop).  Lots of it is stuff that sounds very suspect (flavored/smoked/aged in unusual ways) but it's generally pleasantly surprising.  On the other hand, some people are hopheads and won't ever offer anything but west coast IPAs.  You gotta know where to look.

What kind of surprised me last time I was in Buenos Aires was how massively the craft beer scene there has grown and how much it really feels like some cargo-culted version of the US craft scene. Or at least it's very clearly a whole lot of people who, imo, enjoyed the hipster scene and the general culture of craft beer without really being particularly talented or interesting brewers but I think the low overheads for running the taprooms and popularity (along with a couple of newer Argentinean breweries doing stuff other than just mass produced lagers) caused a massive boom.

There are a few styles down there (like scotch ales) that I haven't really seen anywhere else but that might just be a labelling thing. Honey ales are also way more popular but it looked like nearly all breweries had a portfolio of IPA, golden ale, honey ale, scotch ale and maybe a stout. Those tended to be all similar - with 90% of the IPAs being hoppy undrinkable stuff, scotch ales being super malt heavy, honey ale being a bit cloyingly sweet and the golden ales usually being drinkable (personal taste bias might be affecting that).

I guess I could always pit my mortgage against my future and open up a store with a decent selection. That'd probably work out for me.

(https://i.redd.it/h832qwamwqe51.png)

I laughed WAY too hard at that one...

(https://i.redd.it/asraeohfbjf51.png)


Another Polandball based on a true story:

(https://i.imgur.com/K4sXyxi.jpg)

https://secure.avaaz.org/community_petitions/en/emanuel_macron_place_lebanon_under_french_mandate_for_the_next_10_years_/

(https://i.redd.it/yjc5areib5j51.png)

I laughed way too hard at that. I am a bad person.

(https://i.redd.it/qupne692iy061.png)

(https://i.redd.it/hei1mjon2pc61.png)

New Zealand just watching the show with popcorn is 😁

(https://i.redd.it/p3w7fkko5lj61.png)

No reason to blame the US -- Japan likes to anthropomorphize military technology all on their own. See: KanColle and Upotte!!. And Girls Und Panzer, while it doesn't anthropomorphize tanks, is decidedly an homage to them (mostly of the World War II variety).

I think that's a classic 'Hiroshima cause anime' type joke.

Eggsactly.

The original:

Gotcha, didn’t realize that was a thing.

My usual comment when living in Japan and our group stumbled into something really weird was to wonder if this was our fault, or if we didn't drop enough nukes.   :why_so_serious:

(https://i.imgur.com/vk46NmQ.png)

Um...

The polandball map of the world (2014)

(https://external-preview.redd.it/tl3QMW-QohPQKRnutZ_QXdKE7GFu0hYMnri4b83Sz5o.png?auto=webp&s=13ffc4661b8a057901dcab078a4351f209b86a42)

If you zoom in there is hilarious stuff all over the map.

Nearly a year since the last post on this thread? A crime.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FO5pocsWYAQymBL?format=jpg&name=large)

Gimme tank back, lol

The goofy Renaldo bust is killing me.

is that Australia in the middle of Europe???  :headscratch:

Pretty sure that's an intentional joke on everybody confusing Austria with Australia.

(https://i.imgur.com/DmKsCuq.png)

Actually a proposal to embargo oil in the EU got vetoed by Germany.  :oh_i_see:

Embargoing gas would be difficult - but possible according to some studies - for Germany. Oil on the other hand would not be a big issue. But Germany still couldn't do it.  :oh_i_see: :oh_i_see: :oh_i_see:

Oh, and they are also blocking sale of Marder IFVs.

Let's do some again:

(https://i.redd.it/wcf5eg1pcm791.png)

That joke is almost too easy.