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Author Topic: Spider-Man: Homecoming  (Read 2541 times)
Trippy
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on: December 09, 2016, 09:27:15 AM

Merusk
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Reply #1 on: December 09, 2016, 09:42:45 AM

"So how are we going to outdo the train-stopping scene?"

"How about a boat?"

 why so serious?

Really, I'm over SpiderMan movies. Even though Marvel's got him now and needs to fold him into the story, it still feels like an origin movie with Iron Man telling him to lay low, etc.

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Ironwood
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Reply #2 on: December 09, 2016, 09:49:25 AM

You'd think I'd be over them too, but really not.


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Merusk
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Reply #3 on: December 09, 2016, 09:58:22 AM

Your love for Spidey far exceeds mine. I await the next Strange movie and Guardians.

I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Speedy Cerviche
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Reply #4 on: December 09, 2016, 10:45:00 AM

Seems a lot more interesting now that it's tied in with the Marvel film universe. We'll see how the movie itself works out but it's raised expectations.
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Reply #5 on: December 09, 2016, 11:35:14 AM

I don't even like the character of Spider-Man (at least not the classic version - the new philanthropic billionaire Peter Parker Spider-Man I dig) and I loved this trailer. It looks like they are kind of merging the Peter Parker character with the Miles Morales supporting cast (his buddy is like Ganke Lee come to life). The Vulture looks cool which should be impossible.

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Reply #6 on: December 09, 2016, 12:53:26 PM

So Batman is now ...Birdman? why so serious?

I'm ok with this.   DRILLING AND MANLINESS

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Reply #7 on: December 09, 2016, 01:03:41 PM

The Vulture seems actually scary, which really does seem impossible.

Spider-Man has always felt to me like a character who should be in a super-hero *universe*--he doesn't make sense by himself. So that much is right. I kind of hope they extend that further: I would love for cameos from Daredevil or Luke Cage, where Spider-Man becomes the glue that holds it all together, the guy who can go from fighting space gods to muggers and make sense in both contexts.

Some of the rest of it felt a bit, "yeah, ok", not making me feel huge anticipation.
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Reply #8 on: December 09, 2016, 01:14:24 PM

The movies are not going to acknowledge the TV shows at all.

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Reply #9 on: December 09, 2016, 01:17:03 PM

So Batman is now ...Birdman? why so serious?

I'm ok with this.   DRILLING AND MANLINESS

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Reply #10 on: December 09, 2016, 03:09:22 PM

As long as it has Iron Man hitting on Aunt May I am for this movie  why so serious?

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Reply #11 on: December 10, 2016, 04:06:20 AM

Disturbing lack of Marisa Tomei in the trailer. Whenever she is not on screen, other characters should be saying "Where is Marisa Tomei?"

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Reply #12 on: July 05, 2017, 04:16:50 PM

Just back from seeing Spider-Man.

Big disappointment.

I'm sitting here quite unhappy at it all.  I'm sure a thread will pop up sooner or later.

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Reply #13 on: July 05, 2017, 05:24:45 PM

I guess I'm not surprised.  The initial trailer looked very good, but then each following trailer felt more off.
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Reply #14 on: July 05, 2017, 05:41:52 PM

Just back from seeing Spider-Man.

Big disappointment.

I'm sitting here quite unhappy at it all.  I'm sure a thread will pop up sooner or later.
I'd love to hear more.  I'm seeing mixed reviews now - some love, some hate.  I predict I'll be disappointed as I'm looking for the Spider-man of the 1980s to reach the screen and this doesn't sound like him at all.  Too many missing pieces, too many additions to the lore, and too many revisions (Flash).

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Reply #15 on: July 05, 2017, 06:31:33 PM

I saw an ad for it last night on youtube, and Spider-man annoyed the fuck out of me.

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Reply #16 on: July 06, 2017, 01:47:37 AM

I'll post up a dissection once im out of this training. The more I thought about it in bed last night the more annoyed I got.

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Reply #17 on: July 06, 2017, 01:56:04 AM

As long as it has Iron Man hitting on Aunt May I am for this movie  why so serious?

It has that. Also, everyone hitting on aunt may. Even me at one point. All of which also didn't work.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Velorath
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Reply #18 on: July 06, 2017, 04:55:02 AM

As someone who got into comics very specifically through Spider-man, I'll say that this movie had a couple of the most Spider-man moments that I've seen in the movies.
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Reply #19 on: July 06, 2017, 06:24:34 AM

It does.  Would have been even better had it been a Spider-man movie, rather than probably the 2nd worst of the Iron Man movies.

 why so serious?

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Reply #20 on: July 06, 2017, 07:58:32 AM

In the past 12 hours I've seen a bunch of additional reviews and all but one were positive.  A lot of people are saying they nailed Peter, they nailed the teen Spidey becoming Spider-man, and that Keaton was amazing.  Do you disagree with those ideas, Ironwood?  Or were there other problems that ruined it for you?

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Reply #21 on: July 06, 2017, 08:40:49 AM

Based on the last comment, "Too much goddamn Iron Man," which would be a valid criticism.  A cameo is OK, but several scenes from trailers have played-up Peter's angst over Tony not letting him be Spidey rather than the actual problems of Peter being Spidey. 

Plus the newest one where Tony steps out of an Iron Man suit to lecture Peter about whatever's happened. He only needed to be in the drop-off scene we saw in the first trailer, nowhere else. Adding more Iron Man might make it more marketable but it makes it less about Spidey because RDJ dominates all scene's he's in.

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I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
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I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Ruvaldt
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Reply #22 on: July 06, 2017, 09:33:16 AM

I'd say Iron Man should have much more than a cameo.  Early Amazing Spider-Man comics from the '60s had Peter being routinely mentored by the Avengers and Human Torch because he was considered too young to actually join a group of superheroes/fight crime since he was still in high school.  Since they're going with high school Peter Parker, Tony Stark filling that mentor role in this version makes a lot of sense and it helps to bring him into the MCU so it should be a prominent part of the movie.  It can still definitely be overdone though.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2017, 09:37:09 AM by Ruvaldt »

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Reply #23 on: July 06, 2017, 09:54:23 AM

I can see where you're going with that, but to me that's the 2nd movie. The 1st is Spidey tries going on his own and fucks-up, then realizes he needs that mentoring. This would have been a good place to use Gwen Stacey for that transition, but that story's shot because of Sony.

I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
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Reply #24 on: July 06, 2017, 10:04:11 AM

I can see where you're going with that, but to me that's the 2nd movie. The 1st is Spidey tries going on his own and fucks-up, then realizes he needs that mentoring. This would have been a good place to use Gwen Stacey for that transition, but that story's shot because of Sony.
That movie needed to happen before he was in Captain America: Civil War.

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Reply #25 on: July 06, 2017, 10:58:38 AM

So, it should be another origin movie?
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Reply #26 on: July 06, 2017, 11:08:07 AM

I don't know that we needed another nother Spidey origin story, I'm just pointing out that once he met Iron Man the ship had kind of sailed on him doing his own thing. I suppose they could have set this one before CA:CW and have the movie end with the scene where he meets IM in CA:CW, but I don't think that's the route they went.

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Reply #27 on: July 06, 2017, 11:58:55 AM

Based on the last comment, "Too much goddamn Iron Man," which would be a valid criticism.  A cameo is OK, but several scenes from trailers have played-up Peter's angst over Tony not letting him be Spidey rather than the actual problems of Peter being Spidey. 

Plus the newest one where Tony steps out of an Iron Man suit to lecture Peter about whatever's happened. He only needed to be in the drop-off scene we saw in the first trailer, nowhere else. Adding more Iron Man might make it more marketable but it makes it less about Spidey because RDJ dominates all scene's he's in.

For a movie that's over two hours, there's maybe about 15 minutes of Iron Man. Tony is ok with Peter being Spider-man (hence giving him a suit) but doesn't want him trying to take on too much while he's inexperienced and isn't ready to make him an Avenger. It mostly makes sense given where Tony's character is at right now.

Peter is a 15 year old who has gotten a taste of being an Avenger. He wants to do more than fight local crime but the reality is that he's still learning how to be a superhero and his attempts at doing more have consequences. His motivations mostly make sense as well.

It's a Spider-man movie that takes place in the context of a MCU that had been going on without him all this time. It's a somewhat different kind of Spider-man movie, although he still has to juggle his crime fighting life with his school life and as is typical fails at that frequently. I strongly disagree with the notion that this is an Iron Man movie though.
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Reply #28 on: July 06, 2017, 12:19:00 PM

For those that have seen it: Would it have been better with a nod to the origin, even if it was just flashbacks in the credits (like they did with the Norton Hulk movie)?

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Reply #29 on: July 06, 2017, 12:30:12 PM

I don't need to see Uncle Ben shot a third time in 15 years, no. The spider gets a brief mention.
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Reply #30 on: July 06, 2017, 12:48:41 PM

Ok, so random thoughts then in no particular order.

Firstly, it's important for y'all to remember how much I fucking loved both Peter and Spidey in Civil War.  Please, bear it in mind because it really made me both want this film and for this film to be good.  I now have the option of seeing it again with Elena and, here's the kicker :  I don't want to.  It was boring.  I don't want to be bored again.

So, yeah, those going in wanting 'something different than the usual Marvel Fare', well, you might just like this.  It's a high school movie.  It's barely a superhero movie.  Which is fine, you know, didn't bother me, I'm up for that because they're taking Peter back to his start and we're getting him started up again, fine that's ok.   So we see that he has a bit of a shit school life.  That's fair and true, so good on that.  He's also got spidey stuff stashed around school, ok, that works too.  He's a fucking genius and a nerd and, by the way, did we mention a genius ?  So that's great too.  So far, so setup by Civil War.

(Honorable mention here ;  ALLLL the fucking teachers in that school were awesome, especially Gilfoyle.  The tech teacher was particularly funny, or maybe you guys know it as wood shop or what the fuck ever.  So, we see Peter making webbing in chem, we see him fucking around making gadgets, kinda, and that's fine.)

But here's where the film falls down - wanna hear ?  Do you ?  Read on.


So Tony Stark gives him a suit.  And it's utter bullshit.  Utter fucking bullshit because this Suit can basically be Spider-Man.  The fucking fat kid could have worn this suit and been Spider man, kinda.  It was bullshit.  And we see tons of this fucking suit.  And tons of what it can do.  And tons of the gadgets that it has.  And then it becomes sentient (no, fucking really) and has the voice of Jennifer Connolly.  No.  Really.  Someone fucking stop me.  And the suit has 500 combinations of webbing, which is bullshit.  And Spider Man doesn't have to do fucking shit at this point except be a high school kid and, frankly, it fucking sucks.

And please DON'T tell me that because of what happened at the end that makes the point of the suit.  Please, save your fucking breath because the suit sucked fucking balls.


You know how in Civil War, there was all the trash talk and Spidey goodness of talking smack while fighting and all that ?  Yeah.  There's almost fucking none of that.  And Vulture is great (no, seriously, Keaton is fucking great in this), but it's also AoS bullshit and Tony Stark Bullshit because he doesn't give a fuck about Spidey until he does and Spidey is just trying to prove a point to Tony and Stark and tony stark tony starkt, toonyonatnaotnaosnsnatpnastatrkatnasktnatntaktnatan and Robert Fucking Downey Fucking Junior and FUCK OFF OUT MY FUCKING FILM AND STOP WITH THE CAP CAMEOS TOO AND FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Also, Aunt May is fucking ludicrous and you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BUGGED ME ?

They don't talk about the Origin at all.  Now, I don't want an origin story, I don't care, but they don't talk about it at ALL.  Like, as if they have been legally BARRED.
They say 'I got bit by a spider' so that's fine.  But if they mention Ben in anything more than a word, I missed it.  And May at one point FREAKS THE FUCK OUT and WE ALL KNOW WHY BUT THE FILM DOESN'T.  And that's a fucking PROBLEM BECAUSE THE FILM ACTS LIKE IT CAN'T SAY SHIT OR DOESN'T WANT TO SAY SHIT AND IT ALL FALLS DOWN.

And then the big spoiler happens and it's actually big and then right at the end of the film the other spoiler happens and it's actually big, but meanwhile you've been FUCKING BORED.

And the fight scenes are dark and fast and jerky and FUCKING SUCK.

It's an ok movie.  I don't want to see it again.  I wish it had been a good movie.

It fucking wasn't.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2017, 12:50:16 PM by Ironwood »

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Merusk
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Reply #31 on: July 06, 2017, 12:49:47 PM

Based on the last comment, "Too much goddamn Iron Man," which would be a valid criticism.  A cameo is OK, but several scenes from trailers have played-up Peter's angst over Tony not letting him be Spidey rather than the actual problems of Peter being Spidey. 

Plus the newest one where Tony steps out of an Iron Man suit to lecture Peter about whatever's happened. He only needed to be in the drop-off scene we saw in the first trailer, nowhere else. Adding more Iron Man might make it more marketable but it makes it less about Spidey because RDJ dominates all scene's he's in.

For a movie that's over two hours, there's maybe about 15 minutes of Iron Man. Tony is ok with Peter being Spider-man (hence giving him a suit) but doesn't want him trying to take on too much while he's inexperienced and isn't ready to make him an Avenger. It mostly makes sense given where Tony's character is at right now.

Peter is a 15 year old who has gotten a taste of being an Avenger. He wants to do more than fight local crime but the reality is that he's still learning how to be a superhero and his attempts at doing more have consequences. His motivations mostly make sense as well.

It's a Spider-man movie that takes place in the context of a MCU that had been going on without him all this time. It's a somewhat different kind of Spider-man movie, although he still has to juggle his crime fighting life with his school life and as is typical fails at that frequently. I strongly disagree with the notion that this is an Iron Man movie though.

See, that sounds like what I expected. Tony should absolutely not be willing to let Peter off the leash and Peter should be straining against it. Him accepting he needs the mentoring comes with age, experience, and another 'oh I dun fucked up' moment a-la Ben. You don't need to see Tony for that story to happen. Drop him off after the airport fight, tell him you'll be in touch and to keep it on the down-low. Done.  

Then show up again at the end, after the fuck-up. Tony says how Peter needs to listen and the mentor pairing with the Avengers happens after Infinity War. (Which is the next Phase http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/movies/marvel-cinematic-universe/50488/avengers-4-will-end-marvel-s-original-22-movie-story-arc )

I'm just going based on what IW said and the trailers. They're featuring RDJ too much in the marketing, IMO, so combined with IW's comment of "Iron Man Movie" I extrapolated.

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I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Ironwood
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Reply #32 on: July 06, 2017, 12:52:27 PM

Sounds like you've seen the movie Merusk.  And might I recommend that you just keep that in your head and avoid it.  Because it'll be better in your head.

Because Fuck Tony Stark.

Also, fuck Happy Fucking Hogan while we're about it.

Jesus.  And fucking Pepper.  Fuck OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

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Merusk
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Reply #33 on: July 06, 2017, 12:56:27 PM

Hah, shit, and I wrote that before your random thoughts post.

The suit sounds like utter, total garbage. It's like Marvel was forced to go with a Sony idea. We saw the Rhino at the end of AS2 and all the goddamn animal suits. Keaton obviously has a Vulture suit, so sure, a fucking Spider suit.

Goddamn.

I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Velorath
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Reply #34 on: July 06, 2017, 01:08:16 PM

So Tony Stark gives him a suit.  And it's utter bullshit.  Utter fucking bullshit because this Suit can basically be Spider-Man.  The fucking fat kid could have worn this suit and been Spider man, kinda.  It was bullshit.  And we see tons of this fucking suit.  And tons of what it can do.  And tons of the gadgets that it has.  And then it becomes sentient (no, fucking really) and has the voice of Jennifer Connolly.  No.  Really.  Someone fucking stop me.  And the suit has 500 combinations of webbing, which is bullshit.  And Spider Man doesn't have to do fucking shit at this point except be a high school kid and, frankly, it fucking sucks.

Except the suit can't be Spider-man. Just about any time Peter tries to rely on the suit's abilities it doesn't work out for him. Tony developed it as the kind of thing he would use himself but Peter isn't particularly successful as Spider-man until he doesn't have the suit (once he's essentially no longer trying to be Iron Man and is able to just be Spider-man).
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