NFL 2016

[Malakili]

I'm just stopping by this thread to comment on how much I hate the phrase "in the concussion protocol." Could they try any harder to make it seem like some kind of bureaucratic procedure instead of, you know, "being closely monitored because of a fucking head injury"? Fuck.

[Paelos]

Carolina is shit this year. Their secondary has no idea who the fuck they are supposed to cover.

[HaemishM]

Another shitty NFL weekend.

First off, the Thursday game. Stop with the color rush, just FUCKING STOP. Second, Miami is utter fucking shit. They have two legit talents at wideout and a QB who cannot sense pressure for shit. The first fumble he lost was because he could not recognize that his tackles were the bread in the QB sandwich. Their O line is crap but that doesn't matter because their head coach and OC are boring morons. This is something I'm noticing with a lot of offenses in the NFL lately (especially Green Bay's). They are so goddamn risk averse it's ridiculous and predictable and really easy to stop. Fuck the bubble screen. Just fuck that play. For every time it springs a fast guy free to gain 10+ yards, it loses 3 yards or more at least 3 times. It's almost fucking useless. That 5 and out sideline pattern you run on 3rd and 7? Not only is it easy as fuck to read, easy as fuck to jump for a pick six, it also won't get you the first down unless your guy makes an insanely good move or the defender is a moron who doesn't know how to tackle. Miami had a good first 2 plays, where they actually threw the ball down the field, spread the defense with 5 wide and generally tried to make something happen. They scored a touchdown and immediately went into Playcalling by CPA Accountants 101. Cincy may be dirty players and playoff choke specialists, but at least their OC isn't afraid to have their franchise QB throw the ball 10 yards or more. Ryan Tannehill does not have the stuff to be a legit franchise QB.

LOL at the Patriots. I take this game as the Rex Ryan aberration that it is. Ryan has the Pats number. Had Brady been under center, that game might have been different but it was clear by the 4th quarter that Belichek gave no fucks about this particular game and was just trying not to get anybody hurt. Tyrod Taylor is a competent NFL QB but I still don't think the Bills make the playoffs. Their defense is really susceptible to the big play.

God, the Steelers. They must have been really pissed off at getting their asses handed to them by an in-state rival with a rookie QB. Kansas City was never in that game from the opening whistle. I really think the Steelers may have the best wide receiving corps in football. All they need to challenge New England and Denver this year is a competent defense and a healthy Rapist at QB.

And FUCK RUSSELL WILSON for having a 30+ point fantasy day while I have him on the bench.

[Paelos]

Watching Thursday night football is on you. It's been years of you knowing it's crap, now you're just being obtuse. Stop watching it, and it will go away.

[01101010]

And for the second week in a row, the Browns got Brownsed... by the refs.

Well at least the NFL is looking out for us in getting the #1 draft pick... which we'll waste on Watson who will be hurt by the 5th game of the season.

[HaemishM]

Watching Thursday night football is on you. It's been years of you knowing it's crap, now you're just being obtuse. Stop watching it, and it will go away.

No, it won't. The NFL is committed to the shitpile that is Thursday night football.

[Sky]

Nothing can ever beat the condiment bowl!

[Shannow]

LOL at the Patriots. I take this game as the Rex Ryan aberration that it is. Ryan has the Pats number. Had Brady been under center, that game might have been different but it was clear by the 4th quarter that Belichek gave no fucks about this particular game and was just trying not to get anybody hurt. Tyrod Taylor is a competent NFL QB but I still don't think the Bills make the playoffs. Their defense is really susceptible to the big play.

Weird game in the sense that no one in either fan base was excited about it. Bills fans know that having the Pats 3rd string QB with a banged up thumb under center means it wasn't a real result and the Pats fans are 'lolwhocaresTOMBRADYBITCHES'. Pray for Cleveland. 

[HaemishM]

The Browns are going to get ROFLSTOMPED so hard.

[01101010]

Browns will win this weekend. We always beat a great team for one of our 3 wins a season. And the NFL is still out to get Brady so the game will be tilted in favor of the orange and brown. 

[Megrim]

God, the Steelers. They must have been really pissed off at getting their asses handed to them by an in-state rival with a rookie QB. Kansas City was never in that game from the opening whistle. I really think the Steelers may have the best wide receiving corps in football. All they need to challenge New England and Denver this year is a competent defense and a healthy Rapist at QB.

I saw the start of that game and was like "oh yea, Steelers seem to be struggling again". Then I came back around 1/2 time, looked at the score and went "someone's mad..."

Also, go Rams, woo!

[TheWalrus]

Cams replacement will be selling stadium hot dogs soon. Holy shit, I felt bad for that kid.

[HaemishM]

Hey, guess what? The Giants suck! And they suck like we all expected - they are injured, have no O line and their offensive scheme is the same dink and dunk shit I was complaining about with Miami earlier. Meanwhile, Sam Bradford somehow looks legit in this Vikings team that doesn't seem to be relying on the running game much but also has a hellacious defense. Is Norv Turner really a quarterback whisperer?

As for the Ben Mcadoo dink/dunk offense, can someone tell me what coaching tree this shit is springing from so we can kill it with fire? Holy shit is it boring and predictable. It's like they took the West Coast offense, distilled it to its least risky elements, took out all the flare and pizzazz, and put barely college level athletes in at all but 2 positions. Is it Mike McCarthy or does the tree have deeper roots than that? Can we blame Belichek? Has any of these fuckers ever heard of a goddamn long bomb that isn't a Hail Mary? I caught a few bits of last night's game here and there, but I was really paying attention with about 3 minutes left and the Giants down by 2 TD's. And what is their offense doing? Fuckloads of checkdowns and short, 5-yard passes that don't even make it to the first down marker or to the sidelines to stop the clock. The fuck is this? I realize that the Vikings were sitting deep in coverage but surely you can run something underneath that for a first down or a quick hitter to the sidelines to control the clock. NOPE.

[01101010]

Hey, guess what? The Giants suck! And they suck like we all expected - they are injured, have no O line and their offensive scheme is the same dink and dunk shit I was complaining about with Miami earlier. Meanwhile, Sam Bradford somehow looks legit in this Vikings team that doesn't seem to be relying on the running game much but also has a hellacious defense. Is Norv Turner really a quarterback whisperer?

Given his time with the Browns? I'd say no. But then again... not even Belichick could make this team work.

[Sky]

Haemmy, I'm with you on the weird playbook nonsense. Even if you get defenses with good deep coverage, isn't that what good QB/receiver coaching is about? Let the players play.

[HaemishM]

I don't know if it's the proliferation of the spread offense in college making receivers mentally unable to run any more interesting routes, or the CBA's parameters that have made it so most rosters are full of >4 years service greenhorns, but the route trees on most of these teams look like the family tree of a clan in Arkansas.

[shiznitz]

I was absolutely sure that the jizz parade the annoucners were shooting all over the Vikings before the MNF game was going to be proven so, so wrong, but, boy, were the Giants bad.

[Paelos]

The Seahawks almost destroyed everyone's suicide pools in the first week.
The Cowboys are the clown show I expected when your franchise QB is damaged in the offseason.
The Falcons are HILARIBAD and I love every second of it. I hope Arthur Blank chokes on his own Butthole Stadium along with the PSLs he can't sell to build it.
The Pats can win with almost anybody at QB. I'm convinced of it.
The Titans still suck and always will.
The Colts need a new head coach immediately. And a defense.
The Browns might go 0-16.
The Bills have a great defense and absolute no offense.
The Bears...what in the world Bears?
The Saints, whodat? Everybody this year because you wrapped up 60% of your cap in two guys. Except the Falcons you will be them.
The Chargers need to leave town, that one isn't working for them
The Jags look much better and almost pulled off a massive upset.
The Eagles look much better now that Chip Kelly is fucking up somebody else's team.
The Texans might have enough of a QB now to win games. Might. Maybe. Sort of. We'll see.
The Giants continue to get lucky because they are playing dumb teams like the Cowboys. Ben McAdoo is an idiot as a HC.
The Ravens will be complete garbage once Flacco leaves. He's shockingly holding that team together offensively. Defense still fierce.

Update - Seahawks and Falcons are fine after week 1 losses. Cowboys less of a clown show. Pats can still win with mostly anybody at QB but they get Brady back now, Titans still suck and will continue to suck, the Colts are done and should have fired their HC already, the Browns are continuing their 0-16 march, the Bills found an offense for a couple of games, the Saints couldn't even beat the Falcons so they are toast, the Chargers still should leave town, the Jags look much worse now, the Eagles continue to defy the odds, the Texans are good enough to win that division with almost no effort, the Giants still have an idiot HC but are lucky enough to have 2 wins, the Ravens are going to ride Flacco until he drops with that defense, and shockingly Minnesota has revived a shitty QB's career.

Teams that look like they have no shot at the playoffs - Jets, Dolphins, Browns, Jags, Titans, Colts, Chargers, Bears, Lions, Bucs, Saints, and Niners. Carolina and Arizona get passes for the slow starts because they have been good in the past.

[HaemishM]

I'm not totally ready to write off the Jets yet. One team you didn't mention is the Raiders - this team is likely to get into the playoffs this year on a wild card unless Derek Carr goes down. He's been good and the team has been good around him. Plus he has some good wideouts to throw to. Their defense may be a bit suspect but it's definitely a team on the rise (just before they move to Vegas). The Eagles also look seriously improved.

Arizona is still going to win or lose based on Carson Palmer - Drew Stanton is not going to get it done. Their defense needs to improve. The Panthers are the same way about Cam Newton - their defense is utter shit but they have talent on that side of the ball that's just not playing well. How long Cam is out will determine if they challenge for a wild card.

The Rams are fucking terrible and yet somehow 3-1. I cannot envision a world where they make the playoffs except the NFC is really bad this year.

[01101010]

Anyone need a star #1 receiver? Willing to trade a bag of peanuts and some condoms.

https://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2016/10/josh_gordon_remains_on_browns.html

So much talent buried under so many problems.

[Paelos]

You can have one of the most overrated WR's in the league if you're willing to put up with his antics and constant personal foul penalties. Because I think the Giants are getting tired of his shit.

[shiznitz]

McAdoo gets fired before OBJ.

[Shannow]

Fucking wide receivers.

[shiznitz]

OBJ has been flagged for two penalties in the last two games. The Giants team overall has close to 20. OBJ is not the problem.

[01101010]

OBJ has been flagged for two penalties in the last two games. The Giants team overall has close to 20. OBJ is not the problem.

The numbers don't matter, it's what the fans feel.

[Paelos]

OBJ has been flagged for two penalties in the last two games. The Giants team overall has close to 20. OBJ is not the problem.

Is he the reason they've been losing for the last few years or now? No, of course not. No WR is ever that important to the team. What they can be is a giant clubhouse PITA and distraction that keeps the rest of the team from focusing on the true job.

OBJ sounds paranoid like the league is out to get him. He's admitted he's not having fun anymore (which is fucking laughable because he's been around for 3 years). He's supposedly been fined by the organization several times. His own QB has said that OBJ has brought this upon himself, and you don't usually hear QBs do anything but back their teammates. That lets me know what the team thinks of him.

The guy doesn't get it, which doesn't shock me. He's talented but people believed he's one of the best receivers in the league. Unless he's playing in the division and then suddenly he's dead average outside a couple of games. The Giants haven't been to the playoffs once and the guy's on a rookie contract which means they won't have cap flexibility is they pay him, and Eli probably won't be his QB. I don't see a reason to make him a highly paid part of the Giants with all their defensive issues, which is the biggest reason why they've sucked for the last 4 years.

[Rasix]

At this pace, the Browns will be starting Uncle Rico by week 8.

[Paelos]

Cowboys got themselves a QB tho!

[Shannow]

Is Atlanta actually legit?

[Azuredream]

Cowboys got themselves a QB tho!

An RB too. NFC East looks like it's back in force this year between them and the Eagles.

[Shannow]

The hooded one comments on the return of Tom Brady  

[Paelos]

Is Atlanta actually legit?

If they can beat Seattle on the road, yes. Otherwise, I don't think beating a backup QB and tackle in Denver proves they are legit yet. If they lose that, then it'll be the Packers at home. If they lose both of those they'll still win the division but I might bet my house they lose in the first round of the playoffs because they would have yet to beat a playoff QB. (I don't think Oakland will make it.)

[HaemishM]

Welp, the NFL is just all sorts of crazy.

Atlanta looks good for once, as they managed to handle the Broncos defense well. Both their running backs can be studs and it appears they've even discovered the ability to block for their QB. Denver, OTOH, has Paxton Lynch and a roll of tinfoil for his O line. BTW, Paxton Lynch is clearly not ready to be an NFL QB. Maybe he will be but I didn't see a lot in that performance to recommend him. He missed a pass rusher coming at him 5 times that almost resulted in strip sacks (2 did go for fumbles) and it wasn't blind side rushers either. It was directly to his front side and he was even looking that way. If he doesn't learn to sense that rush or read it pre-snap, he is never going to be a starter. Neither his accuracy or his arm strength stood out to me. Scary that Siemian actually looks to deserve the starting job despite being unheralded.

As for Green Bay, they got a little more creative with their routes last night but not much. They still don't have any receivers I trust anymore to get open in less than 4-5 seconds. The broadcasters were marveling at how much time Rodgers had to throw but let's face it - that means a team with a shitty, banged-up secondary was covering his receivers for far too long. If this team had a worse O line (like say the Broncos' O line), Rodgers would be in IR already. What I wouldn't give for an Odell Beckham (or hell, even a Victor Cruz) on this team. Jordy Nelson is clearly not fully recovered and yet McCarthy seems to refused to use more than 3 wideouts except in rare circumstances. Still a win, but should have been a mauling. Also, our defensive backfield cannot cover deep. Oh and the Giants running game? It does not exist. Green Bay ran 2 deep safeties most of the night and they still couldn't run.

[TheWalrus]

Atlanta had that. Missed call at the end there. Seattle tried their damndest to give that away.

[Paelos]

Atlanta had that. Missed call at the end there. Seattle tried their damndest to give that away.

They came back and did have the game in hand. Still, they weren't the better team and it showed. Atlanta had a good 3rd quarter and fucked up everything else.