My relentless pursuit of Britney Spears news continues...

[schild]

Get an editor, you idiot.

That was my fault. I forgot to remove a breakout text box. My bad. So sue me.

Damn, I was REALLY hoping it was this Alice Graves girl. I like it when legitimate places completely fuck up. Like when IGN gave Doom 3 a positive review. That was great.

[Paelos]

So Dancy McDouchebag is running around on Brit? They must be going to the J. Lo school of how to make marriage work.

[SirBruce]

Bruce, we get it. You feel, for some reason or another, pity for the public spectacle of trailer trash. Fantastic.

Nope, you got it wrong AGAIN.  Seriously, why do you insist on attributing thoughts and motives beyond what my words say in plain black and white?

My point was not that I feel pity. My point was, ONCE AGAIN, that people should not feel too much self-satisfaction looking down upon such people because they are still human beings and in reality not all that different from the rest of you.  You may think you're a God and they are pond scum, but in reality on a scale of 1 - 10 if they're a 1 most everyone else here is about a 2, not a 10.  It was a comment about humanity and humility.

Bruce

[schild]

You can't help it, can you? You know why this topic was denned. Stop being a dumb sack of shit.

[SirBruce]

You said something directed at me; I just responded.  There's no "helping it" involved there.  As for why this topic was denned, I have no idea why you do the things you do.  And as for being dumb, you're the one who undenned it.  I promise not to post in it so long as posts in it aren't directed at me.

Bruce

[Shockeye]

You said something directed at me; I just responded.  There's no "helping it" involved there.  As for why this topic was denned, I have no idea why you do the things you do.  And as for being dumb, you're the one who undenned it.  I promise not to post in it so long as posts in it aren't directed at me.

I brought it back from the Den because I posted more Britney "news" and thought we could discuss the new news. I guess I was wrong. Thanks for fucking things up again Bruce.

[Shockeye]

Britney bares all
Pop star, hubby topline UPN show
 
By JOSEF ADALIAN
 
Britney SpearsBritney Spears is turning the tables on the tabloids.
In a bid to offer another take on her much-documented love life, the pop superstar and hubby Kevin Federline will toplinetopline their own unscripted series on UPNUPN. After fierce competishcompetish from several other outlets, net has snapped up six episodes of the as-yet-untitled skeinskein, which will document the story of the Spears-Federline courtship, engagement and wedding.

UPN is wasting no time putting the series together, planning to premiere the skein before the current season ends next month.

"From the day that Kevin and I met, there have been constant rumors and inaccurate speculation about our lives together," Spears said. "I feel that last year the tabloids ran my life and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past. As I mentioned before, I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art."

UPN Entertainment prexyprexy Dawn Ostroff said the skein will give Spears and Federline the chance to "tell their love story their way."

Indeed, the bulk of the show will consist of video footage shot by Spears and Federline themselves, with UPN adding in some new commentaries and follow-up footage.

The Grammy-winning singer and her new husband will essentially "host" the series, walking viewers through the story of their relationship. "They'll tell viewers, 'This is when we first met' or 'This is when we started dating,' " Ostroff said.

Duo documented their European tour, preparations for their wedding and the wedding day itself. Skein will consist of five half-hour episodes and an hourlong finale focusing on the wedding day.

An outside producer will be brought in to help edit the footage into a series, but Spears and Federline will take exec producer credits on the finished product.

In a bit of corporate cooperation between different parts of the Viacom empire, one of the MTV Music Group Channels -- MTV, VH1VH1 or both -- will rerun the most recent episode of the skein not long after UPN's initial broadcast. MTV or VH1 will also air a five-episode marathonMarathon.

"The competition for the show was pretty heated, and we were able to reach out to MTV Networks and put together a deal," Ostroff said. MTV will foot part of the deal for its second window on the skein, which was packaged by ICM.

Ostroff said Spears "is someone who appeals to (UPN's) audience, the young female demographic that's been following her career and personal story" for the last few years.

While Spears and Federline shot most of the skein themselves, Ostroff said the show will not seem like a video press release.

"I don't think there's anything sugarcoated about this," said Ostroff, who's already seen a significant amount of footage. "It's pretty raw and pretty real. I don't think (viewers) have ever been exposed to people being so honest and open about their lives."

Ostroff said the story of Spears and Federline is so compelling that "even if it were a fictitious story, it would be interesting. The fact that it's about one of the biggest stars out there makes it all the more fascinating."

Federline said the show will speak for itself. "It is a documentation of love," he said.

No premiere date has been locked in, but Ostroff did say the goal is to get the show on sometime during the May sweeps. It's likely some episodes, including the finale, will air after the official May 25 end of the 2004-05 season.

[Shockeye]

Britney Spears Is Pregnant!

POSTED: 2:53 pm PDT April 12, 2005
UPDATED: 3:20 pm PDT April 12, 2005

Access Hollywood has learned that pop princess Britney Spears is pregnant.

It would be the first child for Britney, while hubby Kevin Federline is already father to two children with his ex, Shar Jackson.

The following message was posted on Britney's official Web site, www.BritneySpears.com:
   

Dear fans,

The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend. Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Love, Britney and Kevin

In an earlier interview with People magazine, Spears discussed desire to start a family. After she and Federline, 27, were married on Sept. 18, 2004, in a ceremony at a private home in Studio City, Calif. Spears said: "I want to be a young mom. I can see us as parents."

Just before Thanksgiving last year, Spears posted a letter to fans talking about her desires to take a break from music and focus on motherhood. "I've had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that's having a baby. I can't wait!" she wrote.

Stay connected to www.AccessHollywood.com for more details on Britney's baby!

[schild]

I hope her child has relentless explosive diarrhea. Covering Britney Spears in shit on a daily basis seems fitting.

[Shockeye]

Britney and Kevin do Letterman top 10

Their reality show premieres Tuesday night on UPN

The Associated Press
Updated: 7:32 p.m. ET May 17, 2005

NEW YORK - Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were everywhere Tuesday — including reading a top 10 list on CBS’ “The Late Show with David Letterman.”

On the day their reality show premiered on UPN, the 23-year-old pop star and her husband stopped by Ellen DeGeneres’ syndicated talk show, and later paid Letterman a visit.

“Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” also premiered — a six-episode series featuring private home videos during their courtship, engagement and wedding.

But let them tell you why to watch.

The couple’s Top 10 reasons to check out their new show are:

10. Britney: There’s never-before-seen footage of me wrestling an alligator.

9. Kevin: Unlike those “Desperate Housewives” chicks, we’re not, like, 60 years old.

8. Britney: It’s like “American Idol” except no one sleeps with Paula Abdul.

7. Kevin: In the first episode, you can see my ass.

6. Britney: I’m hot.

5. Kevin: She’s hot.

4. Britney and Kevin: We haven’t had nearly enough media coverage.

3. Britney: It’s gotta be better than this show.

2. Kevin: If enough people tune in, maybe my wife will make out with Madonna again.

1. Britney: In the season finale, you’ll find out that Dave is the father of my baby — oops.

[schild]

White trash get down on your knees.

Time for cake and sodomy.

[Shockeye]

I'll be watching UPN tonight.

[WayAbvPar]

I would rather have every hair on my body plucked out one at a time. In fact-

To quote the great 'Weird Al'-

I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue

 I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades

[stray]

Britney is pretty much "gone". Like Ricky Martin.

Took longer than I expected though.

[HaemishM]

Now, now, she's not REALLY gone until she appears in Playboy, some other men's magazine or softcore pr0n just to pimp her new (and last) CD.

[Shockeye]

Is Britney Spears carrying twins?
One report says the singer has been eating for three

Is pop star turned reality-TV diva Britney Spears expecting a dynamic duo in the delivery room?

So claims one report Thursday by New York's Daily News, which said Spears just learned she is expecting twins, though it couldn't confirm that with Spears' spokeswoman, Leslie Sloane Zelnick.

"If she's having twins, I have not been told that yet. Let me make some calls," Zelnick told the paper.

Spears, now 23, is also reining in the spending habits of 27-year-old husband Kevin Federline, one source told the paper. ""Kevin's on a leash," the source said.

Zelnick denied a claim by the same source that Federline isn't paying child support to the mother of his two other children.

Spears and Federline were recently seen on TV in their own UPN reality series, "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic," which featured footage of their courtship in Europe and their hastily planned L.A. wedding. Its mid-June finale featured a new Spears video and a video love letter from Federline to his wife.

The show, mostly a mix of taped interviews and home-video footage shot by the two lovebirds, was roundly panned by critics.

[Shockeye]

Tarantino Woos Federline's Ex
Maverick director Quentin Tarantino has reportedly embarked on a romance, with the ex lover of Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline - Shar Jackson. The pair were seen in Las Vegas, Nevada, together last weekend acting like a couple. Onlookers at eaterie Nobu tell Us Weekly magazine they "held hands like a couple" and were "very touchy". A spokesperson for Jackson insists they are just friends celebrating her mother's birthday. Jackson was jilted by Federline - the father of her two youngest children Kaleb and Kori - when he began dating pop princess Spears in April 2004, who is now expecting her first child with him.

[Shockeye]

A name like Cletus isn’t just given. It’s earned.

[RhyssaFireheart]

I'm more disturbed by the fact that Shockeye is linking entries from a blog called "Gay Orbit" than anything Federidiot could possibly wear.

[Shockeye]

I'm more disturbed by the fact that Shockeye is linking entries from a blog called "Gay Orbit" than anything Federidiot could possibly wear.

Everybody needs a little Queer Eye from time to time.

[HaemishM]

As long as it's not the Queer One Eye, all's right with the world.

[WayAbvPar]

As long as it's not the Queer One Eye, all's right with the world.

A Queer Brown Eye would be the only thing worse, as far as I can see.

[Shockeye]

Britney to Give Birth on TV

WENN

BRITNEY SPEARS has reportedly agreed to screen the birth of her baby on the next series of her reality TV show "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic."

In a bid to beat pop rival JESSICA SIMPSON's show "Newlyweds," the hitmaker has decided to allow cameras at the intimate moment, to boost lacklustre ratings.

The baby is due later this year and will be BRITNEY's first child and husband KEVIN FEDERLINE's third.

A source told Britain's The Daily Star, "BRITNEY was in two minds about the birth even after she'd decided to do a one-off special to introduce the little one to the world.

"It'd be a follow-up to the series and also a great record for them. It's just like the proud dad taping the event.

"Cameras won't roll through the most intimate parts but there will be scenes included."

Set your TIVOs now.

[WayAbvPar]

I would have much rather they televised the conception.

[HaemishM]

I'd rather they die in a festering pus-filled crotchrot accident than actually spawning a future wife-beater.

[Shockeye]

[Strazos]

Watching her attempt to make a comeback as some kind of sexy after her pregnancy is going to be....amusing.

She looks like a wreck, while most decent pregnant women look....well, pregnant.

[HaemishM]

I guess Schiltz Malt Liquor really is bad for the skin, eh?

[Shockeye]

BIRTHDAY BUST

 

July 25, 2005 --  OH, no he didn't! Britney Spears' hubby, Kevin Federline (above), skipped the first birthday party of son Kaleb, one of his two kids with ex-gal pal Shar Jackson. A spokeswoman for Jackson claims that little Kaleb's birthday last Wednesday "came and went without a visit, present or phone call from Kevin or Britney." Jackson, who has previously accused Federline of stiffing her on child-support payments, celebrated Kaleb's big day with her and Federline's 2-year-old daugher, Kori, and other family members, though her boyfriend, Quentin Tarantino, was not present. Federline's publicist did not return calls for comment.

You don't skip your kid's birthday party. Ever.

What a fucking douchetard.

[schild]

He's a white trash gold digger. What do you expect?

[Shockeye]

Britney throws her toys
Staff reporter
Fri, 29 Jul 2005

Britney Spears has reportedly hit the roof after finding out a recent photo shoot won't be used on the front page of a magazine, according to Ananova.com.

Britney and husband Kevin posed as each other's servants in the shoot for Interview magazine.

But when she found out that the photos wouldn't be used on the mag's front cover she hit the roof, according to reports on contactmusic.com.

During a telephone interview for the accompanying article, Spears allegedly exclaimed: "We're not on the cover! Why am I even on the phone with you right now?" when informed of the bad news.

But Federline is then said to have countered, "I think it's better off that way that it's not on the cover because it's more of an artistic statement."

I guess Cletus is an expert on art now.

[schild]

Muahah. It's more of an artistic statement. Awesome.

[Merusk]

I raise my beer in the great hopes of a hemmoraging bleed-out that saddles Cletus with not only 3 childcare payments, and robs him of his meal ticket, but rids  us of anonther vapid pop star.  Cheers

[Llava]

Britney Spears has reportedly hit the roof according to Ananova.com.

She hit the roof, according to reports on contactmusic.com.

Which is it?

[WayAbvPar]

I am sure she LITERALLY hit the roof, at least according to her. The misuse of that word makes by exceptionally stabby.