My relentless pursuit of Britney Spears news continues...

[Cheddar]

Not prudes. Strazos is just too young to comprehend such a thing.

Oh no, I can comprehend....It just makes me skeev, in the same way that I'd be extremely hesitant to engage while the girl is actively menstruating.

And I haven't eaten yet today, so this has probably pushed my first meal back by about an hour. Ugh.

You sir have no idea what you are missing.  Without going into detail I find it a pleasant difference in a relationship.  Biblically of course, not that emotional crap.

[Shockeye]

Not prudes. Strazos is just too young to comprehend such a thing.

Oh no, I can comprehend....It just makes me skeev, in the same way that I'd be extremely hesitant to engage while the girl is actively menstruating.

And I haven't eaten yet today, so this has probably pushed my first meal back by about an hour. Ugh.

You sir have no idea what you are missing.  Without going into detail I find it a pleasant difference in a relationship.  Biblically of course, not that emotional crap.

Best part is, you can save money on lube.

[Paelos]

Sweet

Holy

Lord.

[Hanzii]

Not prudes. Strazos is just too young to comprehend such a thing.

Oh no, I can comprehend....It just makes me skeev, in the same way that I'd be extremely hesitant to engage while the girl is actively menstruating.

When you grow uo, you'll discover that some girls get really horny at that time of month... and sex is a good cure for crankiness.


... what's a guy to do?

[Hanzii]

I need to comment on this picture.
This actually happened to a friend of mine at the zoo, and she has a difficult time getting anybody to believe her. Now there's proof that it can happen.
(the pelican more or less swallowed the head of her youngest son. Now she realized she should have been all worried and sprung into acyion, but at the time she nnearly fell down laughing from the absurdity of the scene. The kid came out very shocked, but no worse for wear... aprt from a faint whiff of old fish, that wouldn't quite go away - nasty fuckers those weird birds)

[Shockeye]

Not prudes. Strazos is just too young to comprehend such a thing.

Oh no, I can comprehend....It just makes me skeev, in the same way that I'd be extremely hesitant to engage while the girl is actively menstruating.

When you grow uo, you'll discover that some girls get really horny at that time of month... and sex is a good cure for crankiness.


... what's a guy to do?

Put on the SCUBA gear and go to work.

[Samwise]

What is it with you and menstrual blood today?

[Shockeye]

Just today?

[Shockeye]

Britney Spears Able To Give Perfect Oral Sex!

August 16, 2005, 4:19:44

Britney Spears is said to give perfect oral sex - after getting expert tips from 'Sex And The City' star Kim Cattrall.

The 'Toxic' singer, who is eight months pregnant with her first child, is said to have finissed the art of fellatio after purchasing sex manual 'Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm' - written by Kim.

The book contains numerous graphic diagrams complete with instructions on how to perform a variety of sex acts and different positions for sexual intercourse.

Spears, who is married to dancer Kevin Federline, is said to have purchased the manual while dating pop heartthrob Justin Timberlake.

The claim has been made by the makers of a new documentary about the 23-year-old star, 'Britney's redneck Roots' due to be screened on British television tonight (16.08.05).

However, the allegation has been cut from the final version of the programme so as not to offend Britney.

A show insider said: "Although we are sure this is a piece of juicy gossip which would go down well with her fans, the producers decided to it would be best to keep off the sex angle."

[WayAbvPar]

That warms my heart. And my loins.

[Der Helm]

And my loins.

Not for the reasons you might think

[EDIT - Shockeye] BEWARE! BEWARE! DANGER!

[Paelos]

And my loins.

Not for the reasons you might think

[EDIT - Shockeye] BEWARE! BEWARE! DANGER!

HELM! That was not cool! FYI that's a bad bad bad evil herpes pic!

I must vomit.

[Der Helm]

And my loins.

Not for the reasons you might think

[EDIT - Shockeye] BEWARE! BEWARE! DANGER!

HELM! That was not cool! FYI that's a bad bad bad evil herpes pic!

I must vomit.

It was the best of the worst, you have no idea what I went through to find that picture.

But after I was introduced to the lemon party and terms like "salad tossing" via this board, I thought it was time to return the favor.

I apologize for the inconvenience, but I searched google for terms like Condylomata acuminata before I found that. So I payed the price.

DO NOT DO THAT. EVER.

[Shockeye]

Sure, blame us for your eyes bleeding.

Just accept you were touched in a bad place multiple times and be quiet about it.

[Der Helm]

Sure, blame us for your eyes bleeding.

Just accept you were touched in a bad place multiple times and be quiet about it.

I told you before, I do not blame you.

It's hate.
 

[HaemishM]

You should have just Googled up some Katie Holmes' pics.

[Der Helm]

You should have just Googled up some Katie Holmes' pics.

I am not that sick.

[Shockeye]

FEDERLINE SEEKS SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE

BRITNEY SPEARS' husband KEVIN FEDERLINE has turned to holistic healer DEEPAK CHOPRA for spiritual guidance.

Father-of-two Federline, who will celebrate his one-year wedding anniversary with Spears next month (SEP05), was recently spotted carrying Chopra's THE BOOK OF SECRETS, which gives 15 spiritual pointers for enlightenment.

Of parenthood, Chopra writes, "Growing children learn many roles simultaneously, and the role learned at home is only one of many."

Federline, whose wife has shown an interest in the Kabbalah in recent years, is set to become a father of three next month, when Spears gives birth to their first child together.
22/08/2005 02:47

There are few charlatans I despise as much as Chopra. It seems fitting that he become entwined with the Spears.

[HaemishM]

I've never read Chopra, despite having worked in a bookstore for years, but that quote? Tell me more, o' Guru of the Obvious.

[shiznitz]

I wish I could get rich for spouting the obvious.

[Shockeye]

I've never read Chopra, despite having worked in a bookstore for years, but that quote? Tell me more, o' Guru of the Obvious.

When I wasn't restocking the romance section I would spend my time at B. Dalton reading the worst of the worst self-help books and more often than not out loud to whoever was in the store.

[Shockeye]

Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline finds a job

Aug 25, 2005, 13:08 GMT     

Pregnant pop star Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline has reportedly found a job - only a month before the singer gives birth to their first child together ( September 05).

The 27-year-old dancer has been unemployed for the majority of his whirlwind courtship and one-year marriage to the Toxic singer.

British newspaper The Sun claims Federline has gained employment as a dance instructor as Darrin Henson's dance school in Los Angeles.

Henson has choreographed routines for Spears, 'N Sync and Jennifer Lopez and has recently branched out into an acting and directing career.

[Shockeye]

Britney Spears talks baby names

Sep 1, 2005, 11:36 GMT        

Britney Spears is considering calling her baby London.

The sexy star has revealed her top three names for her unborn child also include Sean Preston, if it's a boy, and Addison Shye for a girl.

The singer also revealed she has a gut feeling the tot will be a boy and hasn't found out its sex because she wants to be surprised at the birth.

She revealed: "Ever since I was a little girl, I thought for a boy I love Sean Preston - I love that name.

"Or London Preston. Isn't London pretty? And, er, for a girl, I love Addison Shye. I think that's pretty."

Britney, who has reportedly spent a staggering $100,000 on the baby's nursery, also admitted: "I don't know the sex. I want to be surprised. But I have a feelin' it's going to be a boy.

"I've always wanted a boy and two girls."

The star, who is expecting her first child with husband Kevin Federline, also went on to slam parents for giving their offspring stupid names.

She said: "We watched this programme on TV on wacky baby names. I was like, oh my goodness some of these names people come up with are craaaaazy."

[WayAbvPar]

God she is a dunce.

[Furiously]

God she is a dunce.

I can't imagine why anyone would like her, I mean she's so ugly, and her body is so.....

[Cheddar]

God she is a dunce.

I can't imagine why anyone would like her, I mean she's so ugly, and her body is so.....

She is ugly.  I never found her attractive; she looks like she has downs syndrome.  I have known lots of people who find her "hot," but she always looked toadish to me.  Also she has that kinda body that screams "decent until mid 20's, then turns into redneck mother fat." 

[Furiously]

yea - that washboard stomach just made me think of overweight middleage women..

[WayAbvPar]

She was hot in her jailbait days. When she starting giving in to her white trash heritage, she got less hot. Now she is pretty far from hot.

[Hanzii]

She was hot in her jailbait days. When she starting giving in to her white trash heritage, she got less hot. Now she is pretty far from hot.

Now we just need Strazos telling us Britmney's not hot and quite shallow and the Signe can yell ASS ad we can all be done...

[Shockeye]

This thread will never be done. I will just delete offending posts.

Britney uber alles.

[Yegolev]

I contribute.

[jinxer]

Oh my god, where does her chin stop and her neck begin?  Gross, she's gone way downhill.  Not that she was very pretty to start with, IMHO.

[Cheddar]

Oh my god, where does her chin stop and her neck begin?  Gross, she's gone way downhill.  Not that she was very pretty to start with, IMHO.

You see this a LOT in the military; men marrying young cute "country" girls.  Yeah, they are cute until they hit early 20's and start pumping babies out.  To each their own I guess, but I try and avoid these types of women in any relationship I want to keep for more than a night or three.

[Strazos]

She was hot back when I was in High School, and she had that video with her as a little school girl. That was hot.

Now? Not so much. Now she's just a used-up corporate whore, and it shows.

[Margalis]

Ack. Look at those cheeks, that neck, those jowels. Yes, she is pregnant, but last I checked babies come out of your uterous, not the lower half of your face.