Jurassic World

[HaemishM]

If I were a betting man, I'd lay even odds that the reason they build the hybrid is for "military applications."

[Pennilenko]

Come on guys, don't nerd the fuck out of this. Just go with genetic hybrid dinosaurs eat everybody, sit back and enjoy. I don't need plot or realistic science to enjoy people getting devoured by scary, science gone wrong, dinosaurs.

[Typhon]

There is no way that dinosaur could use that boat like a sword.

[Teleku]

The running theme of the movie as told in interviews is that the park has been open for a decade and people are already bored with dinosaurs so making a new breed is there version of "extreme dinos!" to garner public interest.

Considering we've had parks where people pay huge amounts of money to look at sharks and watch killer whales dance around to music for decades with no sign of it becoming unprofitable, I'm not sure I buy that premise.  Especially when they have sky scrapper sized crocodiles jumping up and eating shit.  Hard to imagine them genetically engineering something more fun to watch than that, unless its literally Godzilla.

But that at least is a somewhat believable (if still stupid) explanation for it.  Watching the trailer itself I couldn't think of any idea of why you'd think creating the perfect killing machine would be a good idea.

[Ironwood]

I want them to go meta :

"We've created the perfect killing machine to save on special effects for our latest movie, but it's gone NUTS."

That'd be fun.

Or, you know, not.

[MahrinSkel]

There are only 55 effects shots in the original Jurassic Park. Most of the memorable interactions with rex and raptors (as well as things like the frilled dilophosaurus, the brachiosaurus, and the injured triceratops) were practical life-size puppets. Every scene was painstakingly planned in advance because it couldn't be cleaned up or changed in post-production. They really do not make big summer movies like that anymore.

I've got no reason to imagine this is any better than the other crappy sequels.

Point of order: There were 55 CGI shots. Puppets/animatronics is still "effects". Yes, it's pedantic cinema terminology sperging.

--Dave

[Samprimary]

Come on guys, don't nerd the fuck out of this. Just go with genetic hybrid dinosaurs eat everybody, sit back and enjoy. I don't need plot or realistic science to enjoy people getting devoured by scary, science gone wrong, dinosaurs.

Theorycrafting, ah, finds a way.

[Maven]

Wait, this is Ron Howard's daughter? Wow.

Yes, I bumped a thread because she caught my eye. Also, Ron Fucking Howard's daughter.

Ok, fine. Here's a new clip for you.

[Merusk]

It's so good she didn't get her uncle's portion of the family redhead genes.

[01101010]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJJrkyHas78

Well, no need to see the movie unless I want to see the dinos. 

[KallDrexx]

Oh yay, the velociraptor whisperer 

[01101010]

Oh yay, the velociraptor whisperer 

Or the velociraptor tamer...only he needs a whip and chair and top hat - which may in fact be awesome.

[Mattemeo]

This film is looking more and more clown-shoes every clip/teaser they put out.

At this point, it's practically mandatory viewing just to see how bad it can possibly be.

[Merusk]

They're using the Velociraptors to hunt the Even Smarter, bigger-than-T-Rex Genetic mutant. (who then, predictably, turn on the people)  Should be fun just for that.

I don't expect a semi-serious film with an underlying moral message like the first. I expect the same action-dramadey of the 3rd film, but hopefully with fewer left-field "uh, how'd that work?" moments like the hand on the button keeping the T-Rex in. (Seriously that wouldn't even work..and if it did, why the fuck would you take it off if someone died to hold the button in.)

[Teleku]

That was the 2nd movie, not the 3rd.

And I thought the hand was just on it.  The guy picked it up, removed the hand, then pressed the button (as I recall).  Still silly, obviously.

[angry.bob]

They've obviously improved their genetics technology. They managed to make a normally 10-13 meter long dinosaur 250 meters long and not only able to whale-jump out of water that isn't deep enough to cover it completely, it's able to do it without being seen until it leaps up.

Come on JP guys, a Shamu show with Mosasaurs would have been cool enough on it's own. The original didn't take many gross liberties with what we knew about dinosaurs at the time and it was breathtaking in the theaters.

[Setanta]

I think this needs to be in the movie

http://9gag.com/gag/aGw7QNZ

[Evildrider]

I would pay triple ticket price to see that.   

[Merusk]

Short review: predictable but still awesome. Not worth the IMAX money IMO unless you really need to see it on a huge screen.

[Korachia]

That was.. laughable. Mediocre all the way to the bank. Meh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtofVGtHmWU <-- kinda describes p the ending.

[SurfD]

I kind of wonder who gave the greenlight on the final edit / script setup for this thing.  Some of the scenes just seemed REALLY odd in the editing.  One major one that sticks out is the kids in the hampster ball rolling through the empty field, and the younger one asks "where are they".  And then BOOM, dinosaurs everywhere.  I mean, jesus christ, you are in a fucking clear glass bubble actively looking for dinosaurs, and cant manage to spot dozens of the things on a practically flat plain untill you damn near roll over one?!?

[Comstar]

MUCH better than 2 and 3, a good sequel to 1. Bit too much product placement of Verizon Wireless sucking.

[Merusk]

Ok a few days into release, here's a longer summary:

It's fun and I really enjoyed it, but in no way should you expect anything but a 2015 blockbuster. The original had its roots in Crichton's Sci-Fi writing, so it raised larger issues in addition to being filled with the action. This is a sequel purely exploited by Hollywood writers to pluck strings of nostalgia and ressurect a brand. Don't expect more than that and you'll enjoy it.

The 20-somethings and people who don't go to movies looking for deeper plots I saw it with also had a blast. Was it a perfect movie or an intellectually deep film? Hell no. It's about people getting eaten by dinosaurs and spectacle. Nothing else and on that it delivers pretty damn well.

Don't think on ANYTHING too deeply because you'll find yourself WTFing all over the place. I just finally had to accept the world and had fun with it. The spheres make no sense. The river cruise we're given a cameo of made no sense. The aviary makes no real sense in how fragile it was. The island not having a helicopter pilot makes no goddamn sense. The way the big baddie gets out makes no sense. It's not there to, it's there to set things up. Just like the sequel set-up that's practically shouting at you.

The references to the original movie all over the place were pretty blatant, "hey, nostalgia!" trips. However, there's also a pretty cool tribute to the original effects guy that only effects geeks will get. (The name of the restaurant on the resort strip is "Winston's")

Ultimately if you loved the original because you were 5-14 when it came out, you'll have a great time. If you want more than the above, just avoid it and watch it on streaming in a year.

[Ghambit]

Mostly what keeps me from this movie is because Speilberg is a money-grubbing douchebag who actually sucks at what he does (post jurassic park 1).  If there is one person who typifies the reason why Hollywood stinks up the place so badly these days, it's him.

[Ginaz]

Mostly what keeps me from this movie is because Speilberg is a money-grubbing douchebag who actually sucks at what he does (post jurassic park 1).  If there is one person who typifies the reason why Hollywood stinks up the place so badly these days, it's him.

What?  He made some really good films post Jurassic Park.  Schindler's List.  Saving Private Ryan.  Minority Report.  Lincoln.  Not to mention he produced Band of Brothers.  I think people are still pissed about the last Indiana Jones movie with Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf and now overlook the great stuff he's done.  Don't be a bitter nerd.  You can be better than that.  If you don't believe you can, then maybe Shia can help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuHfVn_cfHU

[Abagadro]

Stupid movie that I still pretty much enjoyed (was 20 minutes too long and some of the plot threads were unnecessary).  Pratt is, of course, the best thing in it although D'onofrio brought in a good bit of his goofy evil charm.

[MahrinSkel]

Other than the (awful, completely unnecessary, and childhood-buggering) last Indiania Jones movie, I can't think of anything Spielberg has done to piss me off. But I'll probably wait on this one.

-Dave

[Lakov_Sanite]

As nitpicked above I didn't have any issues with


I think comparing it to the first movie is unfair as very little can hold up to that and tonally this was is much more action oriented and less primal fear.  It would have been a great sequel to the original, an Aliens to Jurassic park's Alien, unfortunately it came three movies too late but oh well.

[Abagadro]

[kaid]

I was amused that at least in the movie somebody called them out on their hyperventilating because they made a "monster" all of the dinos at the park are genetic conglomerations and the new dino is no more freakish than any of the others with stuff spliced in.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Also a slight nod to why they have featherless raptors and dino's that have since been proven not to exist.  "Look, people wanted these ones, so we fucking made them"

[Paelos]

Stupid movie that I still pretty much enjoyed (was 20 minutes too long and some of the plot threads were unnecessary).  Pratt is, of course, the best thing in it although D'onofrio brought in a good bit of his goofy evil charm.

Agree it's dumb and fun. Like a really hot chick you don't enjoy talking to for more than 10 minutes without eye-rolling, but the second the clothes come off it's a thrill ride to the finish.

[shiznitz]

This is exactly what it should be. I saw it in IMAX and it was a great show. Also, I love redhead leading ladies. Still, the story and characters weren't as solid as Jurassic Park.

[Pagz]

I was just disappointing how god damn boring the genetically modified dinosaur was. Like why didn't the just go absolutely ham? OH SHIT IT'S TEH RAPTOR BLEED. I was expecting more in the lines of say crossing it with human dna, not god damn cuttlefish. Why not cross it with an pterodactyl and give it wings? Or shoot acid like that tiny thing in JP1? Instead they just made it a bigger albino t-rex that seems weaker then the spinosaurus they showed in the third movie that wrecked a t-rex in about .3 seconds. Awesome. You know what would have been better? Half way through the movie it goes into a cocoon. 5 minutes later, Cuttlefish-rex, CUTHULU HEAD, Michal Bay explosion, boom, done, drop the mic.

[Polysorbate80]

Why not cross it with an pterodactyl and give it wings? Or shoot acid like that tiny thing in JP1?

Because Pacific Rim already did that?