Shannow
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3703
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Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Just came to post this! It's Alien! Alien 1 no less! yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss mothafuckaaaaaaaaaaaaas
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42629
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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The only problem I have with it is... WHO THE FUCK WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH WITH MAKING A THEME PARK?
Addendum: Who the fuck was stupid enough to make a new hyrbid dinosaur near a theme park full of tasty morsels?
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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who gives a fuck
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42629
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Maven
Terracotta Army
Posts: 914
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And of course Legendary was involved in its creation.
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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The only problem I have with it is... WHO THE FUCK WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH WITH MAKING A THEME PARK?
Addendum: Who the fuck was stupid enough to make a new hyrbid dinosaur near a theme park full of tasty morsels?
It was always implied that the inGen investors were going to go ahead regardless. The setbacks were all easily hand-waved as being the responsibility of a few inept/ corrupt individuals. Imagine how HUGE it would be to really be possible to clone Dinosaurs. Something that's the exclusive domain of a single company. No way in hell that's NOT getting used and a theme park would only be the first step. Look at GMO foods for exactly what would happen. Beasts with unknown potential whose doctors, medical supplies and care are the exclusive domain of inGen and whatever they charge for them. The real question would be, who would buy them and how much would they cost. |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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Shannow
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3703
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Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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kaid
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3113
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Wow okay that is going even weirder places than I expected. Oh wtf sign me up I will watch it I didn't need my braincells much anyway.
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Goreschach
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1546
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Trailer looks cool. Too bad the movie is going to be shit.
They seriously need to fire all these old people and just put whoever keeps making these trailers in charge.
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Why make the meat-eaters? Sure, they're the 'cool' ones, but why?
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Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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WayAbvPar
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Why make the meat-eaters? Sure, they're the 'cool' ones, but why?
Same reason people keep large pythons as pets in houses with small children. Because they are stupid. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Hollywood remakes Jurrasic Park, except with StarLord.
Apart from StarLord, I don't give a fuck.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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KallDrexx
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3510
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That looked terrible..... Unless they have:  *Edit* Also, apparently this is the dinosaur from the Jurassic World Lego set:  |
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« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 05:48:01 PM by KallDrexx »
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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The annoying thing is that 'Jurassic Park' holds up really well today especially for a 20 year old movie. It has some flaws but frankly the amount of good in that movie is such a huge pile of awesome that you don't care. Even the effects were so well crafted that they still look great.
This thing however fills me with a massive dose of "Meh" and the bolloxscience is making my brain revolt even from looking at the trailer. "Yes we have created the first Hybrid *dramaticmisic*" Hybrid of what? Walrus and T-rex? Human and Raptor? Why the hell would a hybrid of dino/mammal/plant/elmer/whatever be so more dangerous than a straightforward Dinosaur? Especially since the original JP dinos were already supposed to be genetic hybrids of Dinos and Frogs!! (It was stated flat out that they used the DNA of frogs to fill in the gaps in the DNA they had extracted from Amber, which is why the Dino's were changing sex and reproducing. Yes bolloxscience too but at least it made some amount of sense)
And the slow piano rendition of the original Jurassic Park theme just makes me nostalgic for the original rather than make me want to watch this.
So yeah not feeling the urge to go see this from the trailer.
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« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 07:41:15 PM by Sir T »
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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This trailer just looks cheesy.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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pxib
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4701
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There are only 55 effects shots in the original Jurassic Park. Most of the memorable interactions with rex and raptors (as well as things like the frilled dilophosaurus, the brachiosaurus, and the injured triceratops) were practical life-size puppets. Every scene was painstakingly planned in advance because it couldn't be cleaned up or changed in post-production. They really do not make big summer movies like that anymore.
I've got no reason to imagine this is any better than the other crappy sequels.
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if at last you do succeed, never try again
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Malakili
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10596
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This thing however fills me with a massive dose of "Meh" and the bolloxscience is making my brain revolt even from looking at the trailer. "Yes we have created the first Hybrid *dramaticmisic*" Hybrid of what?
Veloci-corgi. |
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Thrawn
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3089
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That trailer took whatever desire I had to see the movie out back and clubbed it to death.
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"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the Universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Fuck that, the idea of the park actually being open is wonderful to my inner 14 year old. This is what I wanted Jurassic Park 2 to be.
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Maven
Terracotta Army
Posts: 914
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I don't know if a skeptical Muldoon and a red-headed Rule 34 Hammond up against Predator (Ok, Ok, Alien.) are as good as the Malcom / Hammond dynamic with a bit of Alan Grant thrown in.
I'm actually surprised I remembered Muldoon's name.
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Fuck that, the idea of the park actually being open is wonderful to my inner 14 year old. This is what I wanted Jurassic Park 2 to be.
Yeah, I'd actually agree. It would probably have been much better as a direct sequel to the original, rather than "Monster Island 1 and 2. Also the T-rex dies to a Duck billed Dino in Monster Island 2 on about 2 seconds isn't it awsome!!!" Just mentioning that moment as it was ASININELY TERRIBLE. Which will probably happen in this one too to show how hard the Chihuahuasaurus is. |
Hic sunt dracones.
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Teleku
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10510
https://i.imgur.com/mcj5kz7.png
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"We created a genetically engineered super killing abomination before nature for our children’s amusement park. HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY FORSEEN ALL THIS!?"  Or like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmPbmz7SzOsBut I like dinosaurs eating people, and Predator/Alien type movies in a big loud theater, so I'll probably give it a go if reviews are decent enough. But this looks like the definition of 'movie I have to turn my brain off to enjoy', overused as that statement is around here. |
"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor."
-Stephen Colbert
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Speedy Cerviche
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2783
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Looks like another CGI crap fest for foreign rubes.
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Khaldun
Terracotta Army
Posts: 15158
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I don't know if a skeptical Muldoon and a red-headed Rule 34 Hammond up against Predator (Ok, Ok, Alien.) are as good as the Malcom / Hammond dynamic with a bit of Alan Grant thrown in.
Rule 63. A Rule 34 Hammond up against Predator is...not a happy image. |
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12003
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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I just don't get the "we built a new dinosaur." Why? The majority of the world has never seen a living dinosaur and you are just opening a dino park to the public but you decide that is not good enough? Why do that with a dinosaur when you could just as easily and with better precision do it with an existing animal that you have the complete genetic code. I guess the movie needed a little wtf. And I take it Chris Pratt is the new Harrison Ford that will be cast in every movie now for the next 2 years...  |
Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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The running theme of the movie as told in interviews is that the park has been open for a decade and people are already bored with dinosaurs so making a new breed is there version of "extreme dinos!" to garner public interest.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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kaid
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3113
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If people are bored by a hundred foot long shark eating croc then unless your new dinosaur has lasers and a jet fighter I doubt you could do much to "up the excitement".
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Maven
Terracotta Army
Posts: 914
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I would be interested in seeing Chris Pratt play serious. New Harrison Ford? ... Alright. Sign me up.
So it looks like they spiced a Raptor and a Rex. A Rextor. Rapex.
Oh, it has to be Rap-ex.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12003
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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If people are bored by a hundred foot long shark eating croc then unless your new dinosaur has lasers and a jet fighter I doubt you could do much to "up the excitement".
Guess we can expect good things from Sea World in the next 10 years...  |
Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42629
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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The running theme of the movie as told in interviews is that the park has been open for a decade and people are already bored with dinosaurs so making a new breed is there version of "extreme dinos!" to garner public interest.
 No. |
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Johny Cee
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3454
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The only problem I have with it is... WHO THE FUCK WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH WITH MAKING A THEME PARK?
Addendum: Who the fuck was stupid enough to make a new hyrbid dinosaur near a theme park full of tasty morsels?
It was always implied that the inGen investors were going to go ahead regardless. The setbacks were all easily hand-waved as being the responsibility of a few inept/ corrupt individuals. Imagine how HUGE it would be to really be possible to clone Dinosaurs. Something that's the exclusive domain of a single company. No way in hell that's NOT getting used and a theme park would only be the first step. Look at GMO foods for exactly what would happen. Beasts with unknown potential whose doctors, medical supplies and care are the exclusive domain of inGen and whatever they charge for them. The real question would be, who would buy them and how much would they cost. In the book, the lawyer was basically there to do due diligence on the project for the Board and he was the one that insisted on bringing along the scientists, who convince him the whole thing is a bad idea and should be shut down. Basically, Hammond was PT Barnum and wanted the spectacle/wonder... but the entire project was overbudget and they were figuring out that basically they bought Hammond's line of bullshit. Basically, the lawyer was the audience surrogate/Chrichton character that everyone explains the science to like they are an idiot and really was a decent guy. Never read the second book, but there was alot of weird retconing to generate room for a sequel (the Board didn't junk everything, Malcolm didn't actually die at the end of the first, etc) In reality, no one would ever build a theme park. They're fucking expensive and don't have a great profit margin. They'd use the fancy technology to make chickens that live and lay longer, cattle that has meat with better marbling, etc etc etc. That stuff isn't sexy, but it makes big money and has great margins as long as your patent is good. Trying to create a whole theme park, with necessary safety measures, for animals that you have no idea how to care for or what the common ailments are, who are also cloned which usually generates a ton of other ailments.... Yah, that sounds like a terribly bad idea. |
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Merusk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 27449
Badge Whore
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Gennaro, the lawyer, and Hammond were opposite of their book archtype. In the book Hammond was also a charlatan driven by a mad desire for power and fame. Recall the mini-elephant that was used to trick investors, but was the early "hey shit isn't what it seems" clue because it was a vicious and angry little dwarf that they kept caged because the genetic modding did bad things. His grandkids even being on the island was a PR move on his part to show how safe it was. Hammond also got - deservedly - eaten by compys. Move universe is what we're after here, not the book one. The 3rd Jurassic park was the 2nd book. Also, you're looking at the wrong theme parks for profit margins. Disney is the exact model they're mimicking and they took 2.2bn in profits just from their theme park in 2013. That's out of a out of 6.1bn profit total, and 14.4bn in revenues. ~15% margin. http://www.themeparkinsider.com/flume/201311/3763/ |
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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kaid
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3113
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I would agree you may do some dinos to prove you could and as a show case but your real money making would be giant 20 foot tall chickens of pure golden plump goodness that eat half as much as a normal chicken and have no nasty bones. The dino thing is a high profile thing to get people to fund your research but the research would quickly branch off to other far more profitable avenues especially if you are capable of building a do it yourself lifeform.
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