NFL 2014

[Rasix]

Whew. Well, I'm sure AZ will draft Carr now. He'll be awful here.

[Abagadro]

His mom has quite the rack.

[Paelos]

Factory of Sadness has it's spokes model!

[Nevermore]

Will he fall below the "Rodgers Line"?

The NFL isn't dumb. The kid is small, the league is much faster, and every QB with legs has been destroyed if he doesn't cut that shit out. Manziel's greatest weapon is a liability in the league.

That and the best A&M offensive player went first. Evans bailed Johnny's ass out so many times it wasn't funny. Manziel gets half the hype without Evans heroics.

The one thing he'll have going for him in Cleveland is Josh Gordon.  On the other hand he'll have Kyle Shanahan so he'll be murdered before they make it to the halfway point of the season.

I'm just glad all those rumors of the Bucs being interested in him turned out to be the typical pre-draft BS.

[Mithas]

I already don't like Manziel.

[Abagadro]

Half the problem is just the shameless pimping that ESPN does for such players. He is the "it player" so all you get is coverage of them ad nauseum. He is probably no less of a jackhole than 90 percent of the guys drafted in the first round its just we don't get overexposed to those guys.

[Ingmar]

LOL @ Cleveland.

I TOLD YE

[Cyrrex]

I feel like we need to mention Blake Bortles going to the Jaguars at number three.  You already have a failed QB named Blaine Gabbert.  And now you pick a dude named Blake Bortles.  It isn't possible to be a successful QB with a name like that.  Financial Advisor?  Probably.  Car Salesman?  Sure.

I am mostly kidding.  Only not really.

[Abagadro]

It's freaking Jacksonville.  Anyone not named Cletus is pretty much in the same boat.

[WayAbvPar]

Watched about 5 minutes of the draft. I just didn't care this year. I think I am still in my refractory period from the Super Bowl 

[Abagadro]

I'm amazed at the psyche of the "draft party" attendee. I mean, the way they have now stretched this fucking thing out you go to a some big event for something that, relative to your team, lasts all of 3 minutes.  Do you just hope to get on TV with your fucked up wig and facepaint or something? An opportunity to get shitfaced with a bunch of other dumb fucks dressed in the same color?  It baffles me.

[Ingmar]

I feel like we need to mention Blake Bortles going to the Jaguars at number three.  You already have a failed QB named Blaine Gabbert.  And now you pick a dude named Blake Bortles.  It isn't possible to be a successful QB with a name like that.  Financial Advisor?  Probably.  Car Salesman?  Sure.

I am mostly kidding.  Only not really.

It's the same kind of thing as Gabbert, too. He's a big white guy who's shaped right, draft him!

[Malakili]

I'm amazed at the psyche of the "draft party" attendee. I mean, the way they have now stretched this fucking thing out you go to a some big event for something that, relative to your team, lasts all of 3 minutes.  Do you just hope to get on TV with your fucked up wig and facepaint or something? An opportunity to get shitfaced with a bunch of other dumb fucks dressed in the same color?  It baffles me.

People like football a lot. This is their football fix.

[Rasix]

I used to think this was going to be an awesome year for QBs.. and then Bortles goes third. Project "giant oaf in Hicksville" gets round 3. Manziel will get murdered.  And I liked Bridgewater until his pro-day where he threw ducks while being rushed by nobody.  I hope that was like stomach flu or something, because it looked like Peyton Manning with hand tremor.  Carr is a Carr and will suck.  

Arizona drafts some guy I never heard of from WSU, and I watch just about every PAC 12 game.  His highlight reel seems jam packed with him blowing up guys that just turned around after catching a pass.  At least we didn't get Carr.. yet.

[Ingmar]

Supposedly Bridgewater decided to not wear a glove and he always wears a glove and blah blah blah. Not sure I buy that as an excuse really.

[Tannhauser]

Lions don't draft defense in 1st round, these guys are a broken record.

[01101010]

After passing out after Dallas' pick, I woke up at 1:30a and noticed I missed the fun.

I am OK with the Johnny pick. I hope Shanny learned his lesson from RGIII and actually coaches Manziel to become more pocket friendly. I think a pocket passer with the Browns O-line would get killed a lot quicker than an escape artist. That is not to say Manziel will last 16 games if he gets squirrelly on every down, but I liked him more than Teddy or Carr or Garapolololol... and really, the 22nd pick? For the Browns, that pick is a throwaway pick anyway. No risk there since that slot never turns out right anyway. Now they need to grab Lee and a guard and they might actually get 6 wins - next year (considering that murderous schedule this year).

[Cyrrex]

Well that sure was a positive spin on it.  Another way to look at it is to say that the Browns have drafted another QB who is going to suck, and that they don't understand the opportunity costs of making bad picks.  Just like the Raiders.

Really, though, there is not quarterback in this draft that would be good enough to save Cleveland from themselves.  There are probably only two or three current pro QBs that could make that team into something close to a winner.  Might as well try Manziel.  At least we'll be talking about them for a while, if nothing else.

[Paelos]

The best part is that Manziel, a guy who probably needed to be in a division without solid defenses, is going to a division with Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Cincy. It's a defensive meatgrinder.

[01101010]

Well that sure was a positive spin on it.  Another way to look at it is to say that the Browns have drafted another QB who is going to suck, and that they don't understand the opportunity costs of making bad picks.  Just like the Raiders.

Really, though, there is not quarterback in this draft that would be good enough to save Cleveland from themselves.  There are probably only two or three current pro QBs that could make that team into something close to a winner.  Might as well try Manziel.  At least we'll be talking about them for a while, if nothing else.

<-- Browns fan. We are the essential spindoctors for our team. I bolded the important part of this whole thing. 

More spin though: If they pick up a guard and another key receiver that can actually catch the ball, the offense is not a disaster. Assuming Gordon doesn't do something stupid this summer, he is a number 1 receiver, Cameron is pretty good, Benjamin is a burner but small so pretty decent slot guy and returner, Tate, if he can hold up is serviceable RB, and we still have Thomas and Mack on the line. The defense is also not as bad as everyone seems to think and now that they have more than one corner who can play, the loss of Ward was kinda dumb but salvaged with Whitner. Hopefully with the head coach, they can get the line and linebackers working properly.

[Paelos]

Over/Under to the first time Manziel misses a game? I'm going to say 8.5

[Cyrrex]

I wouldn't at all mind seeing Manziel succeed a bit.  God knows the fans in Cleveland deserve a little bit of hope.

Also, he has a better name for a QB than Blake Borkles.  Bortholes.  Bordherds.  Whatever.

[Paelos]

I actually think Bortles is going to be a big success in JAX. They are building a functional team down there while nobody notices.

[HaemishM]

I completely fucking forgot the draft was last night, so didn't watch any of it. I blame the NFL for moving it into the middle of May, which is the nut-cutting time in all the European football leagues, as well as the only time I watch the Cubs before they are mathematically eliminated.

Manziel to Cleveland... really? The 29-year old pocket passer didn't work, let's draft the partying hype machine that ESPN loves to talk about despite the probability he will be a complete fucking disaster instead. Good 'un. The Browns hierarchy is the Herman Fucking Cain of the NFL - one long performance art joke on their fan base.

The Laughter Dick from Alabama goes to the Packers. I'm happy with that. They needed a defensive playmaker and he was the second best safety available. Maybe they'll be able to give up less than 30 points a game this year.

[Mithas]

The Browns really can't get out of their own way:

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/johnny-manziel-drafted-after-browns-owner-consulted-homeless-man--espn-reports-032005838.html

[Yegolev]

My brain had blotted out the name Ha Ha Clinton-Dix so I was once again boggled that someone with that name exists.

I only watched some of the draft since I'm out of sleep medicine.  I assume JAX is picking a Central Florida QB so that they can sell tickets while slowly building a team.

[Goumindong]

The best part is that Manziel, a guy who probably needed to be in a division without solid defenses, is going to a division with Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Cincy. It's a defensive meatgrinder.

If its not the NFC west, its not a defensive meatgrinder.

I just think its fitting that after 21 picks followed by 21 pictures of Manziel being sad for not being picked he goes to the factory of sadness.

[01101010]

If its not the NFC west, its not a defensive meatgrinder.

I just think its fitting that after 21 picks followed by 21 pictures of Manziel being sad for not being picked he goes to the factory of sadness.

This is true. Pittsburgh defense is old now. Dick LeBeau can only do so much. Ravens are good, but not as good as when Suggs and Lewis were there. As for the Bengals... well, fuck Cincinnati.

The Rams DL looks a bit daunting now. Glad Donald went there - nice guy actually.

[WayAbvPar]

I used to think this was going to be an awesome year for QBs.. and then Bortles goes third. Project "giant oaf in Hicksville" gets round 3. Manziel will get murdered.  And I liked Bridgewater until his pro-day where he threw ducks while being rushed by nobody.  I hope that was like stomach flu or something, because it looked like Peyton Manning with hand tremor.  Carr is a Carr and will suck.  

Arizona drafts some guy I never heard of from WSU, and I watch just about every PAC 12 game.  His highlight reel seems jam packed with him blowing up guys that just turned around after catching a pass.  At least we didn't get Carr.. yet.

If he played for the Cougars on defense he definitely got plenty of reps at least 

[K9]

JFF should be a plus for the Browns, since that team is stacked with talent, and seems to be hamstrung more by mad coaching and management than actual player skill, unlike Oakland where there's a lack of player skill and bad coaching/management. That division should be fun to watch this year with an energised Browns, and the Ravens and Bengals who have a lot of youth talent and seem set to get even better this year.

In other Miami Dolphins related news, Mike 'Free Hernandez' Pouncey jokes about hazing the new OL recruit on twitter... 

[K9]

Also: Stevie Johnson to the 49ers for a conditional 4th round pick in 2014

I have literally no idea what the Bills are doing, and if I was a fan I'd be pissed. They seem to be pinning an awful lot on Sammy Watkins being great straight out of the box (which he could be, although most wideouts take a year or two to adjust to the NFL).

[01101010]

Also: Stevie Johnson to the 49ers for a conditional 4th round pick in 2014

I have literally no idea what the Bills are doing, and if I was a fan I'd be pissed. They seem to be pinning an awful lot on Sammy Watkins being great straight out of the box (which he could be, although most wideouts take a year or two to adjust to the NFL).

Well Buffalo was not hurting for receiving - the OL killed what could have been a productive receiving corp. Still not sure why they got Sammy and didn't go with Matthews. But with Watkins, Johnson became expendable.

[HaemishM]

I'm not entirely sure he was expendable. No matter how good the potential on a 1st rounder is, I wouldn't trust a wideout in his first year to do better than a proven talent like Johnson. This is a big pickup for the Niners though. They really needed a big play guy and he is it. He'll also likely have less injury issues in Frisco. He should certainly make Crabtree and Vernon Davis better.

[Shannow]

Drafting WR's high in the first roud, or frankly in the first round at all is probably a waste.

[K9]

Stevie Johnson wasn't the most dynamic wideout, but he was very reliable. Buffalo's WR corps now looks like Watkins, Marquise Goodwin, and Mike Williams. All have some upside, but the first two are still very raw, and with a second-year quarterback, having more experienced wideouts would seem to be a plus; especially in a division that features Revis. 49ers got a steal there I think.