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Author Topic: 47 Ronin  (Read 14883 times)
Stewie
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on: July 24, 2013, 01:54:04 PM

Keanu Reeves asian sword and sorcery flick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8cKdDkkIYY

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Lakov_Sanite
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Reply #1 on: July 24, 2013, 01:59:25 PM

First thought: Nice to see skeleton tattoo guy getting work.

Second thought: Fucking be there.

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Ironwood
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Reply #2 on: July 24, 2013, 01:59:47 PM

Where's his Cardboard Tube ?

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01101010
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Reply #3 on: July 24, 2013, 03:26:08 PM

God damn it... Keanu? In another movie that I want to see and will probably like? Fuck what is with this guy?

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Reply #4 on: July 24, 2013, 03:27:33 PM

I never disliked Keanu Reeves. He ain't high art, but he's good for entertainment.
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Reply #5 on: July 24, 2013, 03:32:12 PM

Yeah, as boring and borderline terrible his acting is... I can't think of a single movie that was bad because of him.

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Velorath
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Reply #6 on: July 24, 2013, 03:40:34 PM

So they've taken the 47 Ronin story and pulled a 300 on it (essentially taking an actual historical event and then adding supernatural elements to it). The character that Keanu Reeves plays is also completely made up, presumably because just having a cast of Japanese people would be hard to market.
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Reply #7 on: July 24, 2013, 03:42:48 PM

Eh, casting a part Asian guy as a part Asian character, and not putting him in yellowface, qualifies as progress IMO.

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Velorath
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Reply #8 on: July 24, 2013, 03:53:43 PM

Eh, casting a part Asian guy as a part Asian character, and not putting him in yellowface, qualifies as progress IMO.

Kinda, I guess. I look forward to some studio in Japan responding by making a movie about the Battle of the Alamo and creating a new character so they can have one of their actors star in it. Maybe they can throw some mechs and tentacles in there somewhere also for style.
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Reply #9 on: July 24, 2013, 03:59:56 PM

Yeah, I can't wait for the day when Japan starts remaking westerns.

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Reply #10 on: July 24, 2013, 04:00:35 PM

Yeah, as boring and borderline terrible his acting is... I can't think of a single movie that was bad because of him.

Dude acts with his hair.

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Reply #11 on: July 24, 2013, 04:02:59 PM

Eh, casting a part Asian guy as a part Asian character, and not putting him in yellowface, qualifies as progress IMO.

Kinda, I guess. I look forward to some studio in Japan responding by making a movie about the Battle of the Alamo and creating a new character so they can have one of their actors star in it. Maybe they can throw some mechs and tentacles in there somewhere also for style.

Sam Bowie/Santa Anna mech knife fight? I'd see it.

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MediumHigh
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Reply #12 on: July 24, 2013, 04:05:03 PM

I never disliked Keanu Reeves. He ain't high art, but he's good for entertainment.
No...no he isn't  ACK!

This looks fun, like in a "pay for one movie, watch this one for free" kinda way.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 04:06:54 PM by MediumHigh »
Margalis
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Reply #13 on: July 24, 2013, 04:18:47 PM

Kinda, I guess. I look forward to some studio in Japan responding by making a movie about the Battle of the Alamo and creating a new character so they can have one of their actors star in it. Maybe they can throw some mechs and tentacles in there somewhere also for style.

Sounds better than any actual Alamo movie not counting Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - and no less accurate.

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
Velorath
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Reply #14 on: July 24, 2013, 04:32:20 PM

Kinda, I guess. I look forward to some studio in Japan responding by making a movie about the Battle of the Alamo and creating a new character so they can have one of their actors star in it. Maybe they can throw some mechs and tentacles in there somewhere also for style.

Sounds better than any actual Alamo movie not counting Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - and no less accurate.

Probably true. I guess my main objection to 47 Ronin is that it's another one of those creatively bankrupt Hollywood movies. Not only does it really seem to want to be 300, but it's also one of those movies where they feel the need to use the name of an established story, because even if it carries only the tiniest relation to the source material (I'm guessing in this case the main theme of the story isn't even intact since it's such a cultural thing), the studio execs are too terrified to actually create an original IP. They could have just made this "Keanu Reeves and some Samurai go fight stuff".
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Reply #15 on: July 24, 2013, 04:40:21 PM

Wait, how does it want to be 300?

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Velorath
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Reply #16 on: July 24, 2013, 05:25:36 PM

Wait, how does it want to be 300?

Taking a historical event which has more or less entered into legend and giving it supernatural elements and stylistically making even a lot of the human enemies look inhuman. That person/thing Keanu is shown fighting early on in the trailer looks very 300 inspired for instance.
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Reply #17 on: July 24, 2013, 05:37:59 PM

Velorath has pretty much laid-out my own stance as well.  I heard they were making 47 Ronin and was like, "yah, awesome!"  Then I saw this was what it became.  /sigh.

I'll watch it eventually, but not in theaters.  I certainly am not going to watch it for the story of "White guy has to help Asians in this culture-deep story so we have something marketable!"  Shit was tired with The Last Samurai.


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Reply #18 on: July 24, 2013, 10:26:26 PM

Wait, how does it want to be 300?

Taking a historical event which has more or less entered into legend and giving it supernatural elements and stylistically making even a lot of the human enemies look inhuman. That person/thing Keanu is shown fighting early on in the trailer looks very 300 inspired for instance.

Thanks for clarifying. When I think of 300 I just mostly think of Snyder's overuse of slowmo and all that schlock. The supernatural additions don't bother me.

As for the thing that he's fighting (I'm guess a stylized oni?), I actually immediately thought of some of the creature work from LOTR/The Hobbit.

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Reply #19 on: July 25, 2013, 12:11:56 AM

This looks way the hell more entertaining than any movie about the actual 47 Ronin story possibly could be.  Besides, 13 Assasines already basically did that story, but much better.

Looks to be its own movie with its own unique IP.  I wouldn't get to hung up on the movie title.

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Velorath
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Reply #20 on: July 25, 2013, 03:24:53 AM

This looks way the hell more entertaining than any movie about the actual 47 Ronin story possibly could be.  Besides, 13 Assasines already basically did that story, but much better.

Looks to be its own movie with its own unique IP.  I wouldn't get to hung up on the movie title.

Even just taking it as it's own thing, that trailer isn't selling me on this movie. I can't even get an idea of what the story is beyond: Ronin need Keanu's help to fight some people for some reason, 47 stood against many, pretty shots of scenery, lady turns into horrible CG dragon. The acting doesn't look good, the special effects don't look good, the story appears incoherent, the release date has been pushed back multiple times from it's original November 2012 scheduled release, and the movie is rumored to have blown past its $175 million budget. Everything about this movie screams box office disaster.
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Reply #21 on: July 25, 2013, 03:39:11 AM

I think its unfare to judge the story as being 'incoherent' from a trailer.  You haven't seen the movie yet, you have no idea how coherent it possibly could be.  A trailer is just a mashup of scenes to give you a basic jist of it (and I'm happy they kept the overall story mostly vague, as I hate trailers that give everything away).  If it seems incoherent, thats the fault of the trailers editor, not the movies scriptwriter.  CG and acting looked fine to me, but I will admit they seem to lean towards the shoddy end of things.

Having said all that, you're correct that all the information available about the production of this movie points to it being a massive bomb that's probably horrible.  The trailer was fun and I liked the looks of it, but am fully willing to admit signs point to it actually being bad.

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Lakov_Sanite
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Reply #22 on: July 25, 2013, 07:03:19 AM

Keeanu is a half-breed exile, joins pirates in underground fighting tourney, finds out his homeland was taken over by eeeeevil army, bands together a group of the remaining survivors to take it back, kills dragon.

The trailer was NOT complicated.

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Nebu
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Reply #23 on: July 25, 2013, 08:28:06 AM

I imagine this will do well at the box office.  300 meets the Last Samurai (not really... but that's the image it conjured in my mind).
« Last Edit: July 25, 2013, 08:31:38 AM by Nebu »

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Velorath
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Reply #24 on: July 25, 2013, 01:37:52 PM

Keeanu is a half-breed exile, joins pirates in underground fighting tourney, finds out his homeland was taken over by eeeeevil army, bands together a group of the remaining survivors to take it back, kills dragon.

The trailer was NOT complicated.

And yet you got a few things wrong there.
Lakov_Sanite
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Reply #25 on: July 25, 2013, 01:38:51 PM

joins/enslaved by pirates.   The minor details are besides the point, you can easily get the jist of the plot.

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Nebu
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Reply #26 on: July 25, 2013, 01:54:56 PM

The minor details are besides the point, you can easily get the jist of the plot.

If not, I'm sure Keanu's incredible acting will drive the story.  why so serious?

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Reply #27 on: July 25, 2013, 02:24:56 PM

I predict that this movie may provide me with a new Keanu impersonation that I can poorly do (my current one if from Speed).

That being said, this will bring me to the theater.

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Reply #28 on: July 25, 2013, 02:29:47 PM

Keanu from Point Break is best Keanu.

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Reply #29 on: July 25, 2013, 02:36:51 PM

I always fall back on "and I'm the Duke of Ted!" myself.

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Nebu
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Reply #30 on: July 25, 2013, 04:35:23 PM

Keanu from Point Break is best Keanu.

Keanu being Keanu is the only Keanu.

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Reply #31 on: July 25, 2013, 04:37:39 PM

Isn't that what I said?

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90Proof
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Reply #32 on: July 25, 2013, 06:13:49 PM

wiki says the original release date was November 2012.  I wonder what happened?
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Reply #33 on: July 25, 2013, 09:00:22 PM

Keeanu is a half-breed exile, joins pirates in underground fighting tourney, finds out his homeland was taken over by eeeeevil army, bands together a group of the remaining survivors to take it back, kills dragon.

The trailer was NOT complicated.

I'm a simple guy.  Rinko Kikuchi as an evil fire-wielding green dragon sorceress is all I need.  Signmeup.

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Reply #34 on: July 25, 2013, 09:09:49 PM

I'm in. Almost any Keanu is watchable Keanu. And the actual story of the 47 is kinda badass on its own, so I'll definitely watch a tweaked-out version.

And no, this isn't Last Samurai. At least Keanu is part Asian.

Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something.  We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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