Awful Crimes of Beloved Games

[HaemishM]

Blood Bowl is actually a decent game - unless you mean the video game interpretation which is a massive crime against fucking humanity in how BADLY it shits all over the concept of user-friendly UI design. The underlying game is decent.

LoL's crimes are almost solely focused on the unwashed masses of cuntweasels that play infest it.

[schild]

Adventure games mostly blow. Even the current ones. Anyone saying otherwise is just being a nostalgic gasbag.

Indigo Prophecy is one of the few "Adventure" games I would define as "better than good."

I was really in love with Dreamfall for a while, but I couldn't finish it. Turned into an incomprehensible pile of trash. We need a thread for games that start off so strong you want to throw GotY awards at them and make you hate them by the end.

Edit: LoL is a fine game and doesn't belong in this thread. I'm surprised DOTA2 hasn't popped up yet since it keeps all of the horrific design mistakes of DOTA but does so willingly.

[Velorath]

Movies are supposed to entertain us also, but I'm sure you can acknowledge that there are movies you've seen that are bad on any number of levels but that you somehow manage to enjoy. Hell, Michael Bay has built his career off people's willingness to enjoy shit movies provided there are enough explosions or they play off nostalgia from a line of toys from the 80's. That doesn't elevate them to the status of good movies.

I don't find Bay movies entertaining.

Sadly, some people out there do.

[rk47]

Binary Domain - the gunplay starts ok and gets bland by mid way, but it was saved by the unlikeliest of source - it's localization.
Probably the best localization work I've ever seen in my life.

[Fabricated]

League of Legends is retarded trash for retarded trash gamers. Same goes for all MOBAs.

And LA Noire is about the only real attempt at modernizing adventure games and it shits the bed about halfway in.

Also the amount of patience granted to D3 here infuriates me when it's a bad game and will likely stay bad forever. PoE isn't very good but at least had the excuse of having no budget and being designed by people who flat out admit they had never ever made a videogame before. Detritus from Blizzard shit out a better game on a comparatively shoestring budget provided by a third-rate Asian grindfest/cashshop MMO developer.

[Rasix]

LoL is not all mobas.  I wouldn't even call Dota 2 bad, really, it's just Dota.  I do think leaving the stuff in that was present due to limitations of the War 3 engine was a semi bad idea if you want a broader audience.  They had an opportunity to improve upon Dota and bring it to the masses.. and instead just made Dota.  Which is fine, if you like Dota.

D3 was fine.  You guys are so sensitive about that game.

Never played LA Noire though.  Seems like I might like it, but the feedback has scared me off so far.

[Fabricated]

LoL is a bad game.

[Velorath]

I was really in love with Dreamfall for a while, but I couldn't finish it. Turned into an incomprehensible pile of trash. We need a thread for games that start off so strong you want to throw GotY awards at them and make you hate them by the end.

For me that would be Heavy Rain.

[Cyrrex]

I was really in love with Dreamfall for a while, but I couldn't finish it. Turned into an incomprehensible pile of trash. We need a thread for games that start off so strong you want to throw GotY awards at them and make you hate them by the end.

For me that would be Heavy Rain.

Hate is probably too strong a word, but this is how I felt about FF14.  I just got tired of it before the end, and never actually finished it.  Being on rails is one thing, lots of games do that.  FF14 was in a long, never-ending hallway.  And no towns?  I mean, let's at least pretend this is an RPG.  Ironically, I gave up at exactly the point where it "opens up" towards the end.  I felt like a prisoner being released after 40 years in the hole and not knowing what to do with myself.

[Trippy]

You mean FF XIII (XIV is the MMO).

[Maledict]

I was really in love with Dreamfall for a while, but I couldn't finish it. Turned into an incomprehensible pile of trash. We need a thread for games that start off so strong you want to throw GotY awards at them and make you hate them by the end.

For me that would be Heavy Rain.

Hate is probably too strong a word, but this is how I felt about FF14.  I just got tired of it before the end, and never actually finished it.  Being on rails is one thing, lots of games do that.  FF14 was in a long, never-ending hallway.  And no towns?  I mean, let's at least pretend this is an RPG.  Ironically, I gave up at exactly the point where it "opens up" towards the end.  I felt like a prisoner being released after 40 years in the hole and not knowing what to do with myself.

That's what I was saying earlier about ff13. I know that it objectively is a bad game - there can't ally be any argument over that. No amount of flashy production values can make up for the gibbering ly insane storyline, terrible characters, endless hallways and completely dead world. Yet for some reason I've completed it twice - it's the only JRPG I've ever done that with. He'll, the number of JRPGs I've completed once is tiny...

[Ingmar]

LoL is not all mobas.  I wouldn't even call Dota 2 bad, really, it's just Dota.  I do think leaving the stuff in that was present due to limitations of the War 3 engine was a semi bad idea if you want a broader audience.  They had an opportunity to improve upon Dota and bring it to the masses.. and instead just made Dota.  Which is fine, if you like Dota.

D3 was fine.  You guys are so sensitive about that game.

Never played LA Noire though.  Seems like I might like it, but the feedback has scared me off so far.

Given we seem to have a lot of game taste overlap: LA Noire was ... meh-to-OK. It wasn't anywhere near what the hype indicated it would be, and the open world aspects are pretty bad. You'll end up fast-forwarding through the driving parts because there's just not really anything to do once you get past the novelty of 'omg 40s LA'. The story kind of goes off the rails in the last third, too, but it does have some good moments and it does a pretty good job with the 'feel'. I played it on Xbox, right after Red Dead Redemption and it really, really suffers in comparison to RDR.

[trias_e]

L.A. Noire does some great, and honestly pretty modern and unique things for gaming.  But it fails the holistic gaming test pretty horribly, even worse than say how PS:T's combat infringes on it's raison d'etre.  L.A. Noire is a mediocre game, but I'm glad it exists, and I'm glad I played it.  It's important that it exists.  It's certainly worth a rental (or super cheap steam sale).  It's just not very good.

As far as modernizing adventure games goes...isn't Walking Dead worth a mention?

[rk47]

I thought LA noire was sub $2 steam price at some point?
I was too shocked to click on it - it seems like a better game watched than played.

[Phred]

Speaking of awful crimes, Activision's UK head of PR got busted for stealing 20K GBP from Activision.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2312997/PR-boss-siphoned-19-000-makers-Call-Duty-pay-engagement-party-designer-shopping.html

mods feel free to move this somewhere more appropriate :)

[Cyrrex]

I was really in love with Dreamfall for a while, but I couldn't finish it. Turned into an incomprehensible pile of trash. We need a thread for games that start off so strong you want to throw GotY awards at them and make you hate them by the end.

For me that would be Heavy Rain.

Hate is probably too strong a word, but this is how I felt about FF14.  I just got tired of it before the end, and never actually finished it.  Being on rails is one thing, lots of games do that.  FF14 was in a long, never-ending hallway.  And no towns?  I mean, let's at least pretend this is an RPG.  Ironically, I gave up at exactly the point where it "opens up" towards the end.  I felt like a prisoner being released after 40 years in the hole and not knowing what to do with myself.

That's what I was saying earlier about ff13. I know that it objectively is a bad game - there can't ally be any argument over that. No amount of flashy production values can make up for the gibbering ly insane storyline, terrible characters, endless hallways and completely dead world. Yet for some reason I've completed it twice - it's the only JRPG I've ever done that with. He'll, the number of JRPGs I've completed once is tiny...

Hah, I wrote 14 and I totally meant 13.

[Teleku]

At this point people should just start posting games they feel are great, so everybody can then attempt to tear it down and tell them how bad of a game it really is.

I still dont get this thread.

[Velorath]

D3 was fine.  You guys are so sensitive about that game.

Sure it's "fine". Doesn't change the fact that I'd rather play its now 13 year old predecessor.  Or even Titan Quest, Borderlands, Dead Island, Path of Exile, probably that Marvel game when it comes out, maybe PSO2 when that comes to the US, and possibly a number of other multiplayer loot based RPG's (never really got into the Torchlight games). But hey, it sounds like the PS3 version of Diablo 3 might actually be a vast improvement so it's got that going for it.

Edit: I feel the need to point out, especially since I'm typically one of the people here that hates excessive negativity, that I don't actually hate Diablo 3 and it entertained me enough for multiple playthroughs. It was somewhat disappointing though, I hated the AH, and I would still be more likely to go play any one of those other ARPG's I named even though they all have their own faults.

[Ironwood]

Love ya.

[Jeff Kelly]

Heavy Rain would have been a great step forward for adventure games. If it weren't for the big story twist half way through that breaks the fourth wall, destroys any semblence of suspension of disbelief and actually tells the player outright that he was betrayed, lied to and bullshitted until now.

There were also lots and lots of infuriating QTEs that you probably have to be ten years old to react to in time but this is the only game that I really had a deep emotional connection to due to the for me great story telling and atmosphere, well until the game tells you that what you were playing wasn't what actually happened.

LA Noire has that in common with Heavy Rain, it was a decent game that captured the atmosphere and flair of fifties LA  until you realized that what you had seen with your own eyes wasn't what really happened. Oh and also that they had kept pretty big parts of your character's life from you just so that they could surprise you with their plot twists. Never once got told I had wife and kid until I got busted for adultery with the cabaret singer. After that the game quickly became crap as the story got even less cohesive or comprehensible.

[Lantyssa]

I now realize that.  Fortunately, most people ignore me unless I'm talking about medicine.

Then they all do? ('cause students...)

[Yegolev]

At this point people should just start posting games they feel are great, so everybody can then attempt to tear it down and tell them how bad of a game it really is.

I almost suggested this already, since I'm personally having trouble thinking up the laundry-list of "awesome" or "popular" games that are, in reality, bags of hobo shit.

I still dont get this thread.

Feel your hate flow while your friends die.

[HaemishM]

Never played LA Noire though.  Seems like I might like it, but the feedback has scared me off so far.

I forget LA Noire. It would definitely fall into that category of noble effort that just completely shits the bed. It really is an adventure game that tried to hide its "find the pixel" origins by bolting on 3rd person action trappings but it might honestly have been better as an adventure game. At least then, they could be forgiven for really only allowing 1 path through investigations despite all the talk that it would require real thought and feel more organic. It didn't. The investigations were terribly one-track, with answers to questions coming out of fucking nowhere that somehow got you to solve the case even though the solution MADE NO SENSE. And I stopped playing it about halfway through but I really think the bed-shitting started soon after your first promotion. It just got really fucking obvious the farther you went along.

[Ironwood]

Star Wars :  Supremacy was shit but I loved it.

Homeworld was great ; I'm not getting the hate...

[Yegolev]

Regarding LA Noire, just watch LA Confidential again.

[Lantyssa]

The Skittles game.  I'm not joking.  For a throwaway, no-budget game based on collecting fucking SKITTLES, it was actually great.

[Goreschach]

The Skittles game.  I'm not joking.  For a throwaway, no-budget game based on collecting fucking SKITTLES, it was actually great.

On a similar note, the 7-up Spot game was one of the best 16 bit platformers ever. But nobody will ever believe you when you tell them this, because the game is about the 7-up Spot.

[Zetor]

The Skittles game.  I'm not joking.  For a throwaway, no-budget game based on collecting fucking SKITTLES, it was actually great.

On a similar note, the 7-up Spot game was one of the best 16 bit platformers ever. But nobody will ever believe you when you tell them this, because the game is about the 7-up Spot.

Ditto Zool [1992?] and Chupa Chups.

[schild]

The Skittles game.  I'm not joking.  For a throwaway, no-budget game based on collecting fucking SKITTLES, it was actually great.

On a similar note, the 7-up Spot game was one of the best 16 bit platformers ever. But nobody will ever believe you when you tell them this, because the game is about the 7-up Spot.

Cool Spot was pretty good. But it didn't hold a candle to Yo Noid!

of course, it was made by Capcom and was a reskin. But Whatever!

[Ingmar]

The Skittles game.  I'm not joking.  For a throwaway, no-budget game based on collecting fucking SKITTLES, it was actually great.

[schild]

The Burger King Creeper game was better than Vanguard.

[Yegolev]

Oh yeah, fucking Sneak King.  Inexplicably awesome.  I bought a burger to get it.

[Merusk]

Homeworld was great ; I'm not getting the hate...

I spelled it out as clearly as I could from 13-year-old memories.  I only got about 8-10 missions in before giving up.

It also doesn't help that I despise RTS games because of the extremely limited rules of engagement and non-existent AI within the individual troops.  I've always been a Turn-based guy.

[Ironwood]

What was that Bug Domino game that was based off some shit marketing ?

It was a fucking awesome game.

EDIT :  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pushover_%28video_game%29

[schild]

Oh yeah, fucking Sneak King.  Inexplicably awesome.  I bought a burger to get it.

I drove through the burger king drive through twice. The first time ordering fries, the second time ordering a drink - so I could buy 2 copies of each of the 4 or 5 games or whatever they made.

Point is, I still have a set of that weird crap sealed in my storage unit.