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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: The Super Sad Executives of CES 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: The Super Sad Executives of CES  (Read 6069 times)
pxib
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on: January 09, 2013, 09:45:18 AM


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Fabricated
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Reply #1 on: January 09, 2013, 11:02:15 AM

CES is just awful. Just awful.

4k televisions with nothing to show on them, billions of bad tablets that will be on sale refurbished (read: open box) on Woot in 6 months, more touchscreen Windows 8 stuff no one will buy, more phones that will fall short in critical areas, android powered ovens, just sadness all around.

Apple's keynotes are just as bad but at least the people there are enthusiastic about getting their bad tech junk. CES/E3 anymore are more about swag bags and getting comped alcohol. I'd have skipped out on CES and went to the AVN awards; at least those might be dignified.

"The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist." - George Bernard Shaw
Salamok
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Reply #2 on: January 09, 2013, 11:05:25 AM

I miss comdex.
Trippy
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Reply #3 on: January 09, 2013, 11:38:01 AM

Qualcomm's keynote for real was even more fucked up than those made up captions are:

http://www.theverge.com/2013/1/8/3850056/qualcomms-insane-ces-2013-keynote-pictures-tweets
ghost
The Dentist
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Reply #4 on: January 09, 2013, 11:39:25 AM

I'm going to drag you motherfuckers to a dental trade show sometime.  Then you'll see the truly pathetic.   awesome, for real
Selby
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Reply #5 on: January 09, 2013, 11:41:09 AM

Yeah, seriously go to a high voltage electronics trade show and watch the sales weasels try and pitch you new diodes and SCRs that aren't going to be in production for 2-3 years unless they get enough orders ahead of time.  Talk about boring... not even any alcohol.
ghost
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Reply #6 on: January 09, 2013, 11:43:17 AM

There's plenty of booze at dental trade shows.  It's the only humane thing to do.
Teleku
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Reply #7 on: January 09, 2013, 12:02:45 PM

Self Storage trade shows.   Ohhhhh, I see.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2013, 12:04:36 PM by Teleku »

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TheWalrus
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Reply #8 on: January 09, 2013, 12:16:58 PM

Masonry trade shows?

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pxib
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Reply #9 on: January 09, 2013, 12:34:54 PM

"Desmond Tutu: finally, something weirder than an exec talking to Big Bird while wearing another Big Bird's skin."

Wow. Just wow.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2013, 01:27:17 PM by pxib »

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01101010
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Reply #10 on: January 09, 2013, 01:06:01 PM

The video was embarrassing to the point of making me actually squirm in my seat at work.

and the tweet: "Guillermo del Toro demonstrates Qualcomm power by showing the hammer scene from Pan's Labyrinth." made me laugh hard enough at work that my cube neighbors took notice.

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Reply #11 on: January 09, 2013, 04:00:51 PM

The COO of Sony is really named Phil Molyneux?

THE WORLD DOES NOT NEED TWO MOLYNEUX.
Ingmar
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Reply #12 on: January 09, 2013, 04:01:05 PM

more like Polyneux, am I rite

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schild
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Reply #13 on: January 09, 2013, 04:03:42 PM

ugh
Pennilenko
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Reply #14 on: January 09, 2013, 04:07:22 PM

more like Polyneux, am I rite

Occasionally on this forum, I get to read something that is almost physically painful. Thank you for delivering on this day.

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K9
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Reply #15 on: January 09, 2013, 04:07:28 PM

 awesome, for real

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Lantyssa
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Reply #16 on: January 09, 2013, 06:45:54 PM

Neux.  Just... neux.

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Reply #17 on: January 09, 2013, 07:41:50 PM

more like Polyneux, am I rite
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Surlyboi
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Reply #18 on: January 09, 2013, 07:47:30 PM

So, one of my former flying monkeys now works for the Verge and she was there for all the CES hijinx. Oh. My. Fucking. God. this year was a fucking shitshow.

Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something.  We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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Reply #19 on: January 09, 2013, 08:51:31 PM

Hey mang, did you read the prior posts?

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Ratman_tf
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Reply #20 on: January 09, 2013, 09:40:50 PM

I'm adopting Internet of Everything as my new catchphrase!



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Reply #21 on: January 09, 2013, 09:58:49 PM

Not me.  I was born mobile. 

Not really though.
Shannow
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Reply #22 on: January 10, 2013, 08:12:42 AM

Are we sure the world didn't end in 2012?

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Lantyssa
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Reply #23 on: January 10, 2013, 09:24:59 AM

Yep, and we're all in Hell.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Sir T
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Reply #24 on: January 10, 2013, 12:00:04 PM

Quote
To end the keynote, Maroon 5 came on stage to do an acoustic set. While it was a nice show for the people in attendance, livestream viewers had a different experience. Presumably because it didn't have the rights to broadcast Maroon 5's music, CES instead played silence, and then Dido over the audio track.

 awesome, for real DRILLING AND MANLINESS

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Simond
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Reply #25 on: January 10, 2013, 12:29:14 PM

Nah, what bodes ill for E3 is new consoles so it'll be boring predictable announcement time. The best E3 presentations are where they've got nothing and are frantically trying to distract everyone from that.

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HaemishM
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Reply #26 on: January 10, 2013, 02:02:21 PM

Qualcomm's keynote for real was even more fucked up than those made up captions are:

http://www.theverge.com/2013/1/8/3850056/qualcomms-insane-ces-2013-keynote-pictures-tweets


Holy monkey fuck wow.

Paelos
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Reply #27 on: January 10, 2013, 02:14:09 PM

I am so glad I didn't read this in the middle of the day. Good lord I was choking on laughs at the desk.

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Surlyboi
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Reply #28 on: January 10, 2013, 05:11:21 PM

Hey mang, did you read the prior posts?

Oops.

Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something.  We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
Khaldun
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Reply #29 on: January 10, 2013, 07:41:14 PM

I really thought that said Peter Molyneux in that caption and I was thinking, "That's just fucking great, these will be the world's first disappointing headphones".
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Reply #30 on: January 17, 2013, 08:40:58 PM

Bravo. Cannot stop laughing in the office.

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