Chris Roberts Back in your wallet - STAR CITIZEN

[Sky]

I recorded some of my gameplay recently.

[Velorath]

Not worth even linking Roberts most recent posts and letter to the community. Just a bunch more vague "our dream game" and "it will be done when it's done" bullshit. Basically the single player game Squadron 42 was originally scheduled to be in beta this quarter, going by the roadmap they stopped putting out at the beginning of the year.  They essentially had to finally admit that the game is being delayed because it was pretty obvious when they're talking about making roadmaps for when the new roadmap will be out. Also they just announced a new quarterly show devoted to S42 (the first episode of which just came out and apparently runs over an hour long and says jack shit). You don't really commit to an ongoing quarterly show for a product if you're expecting it to release in the next 6-12 months. No real apologies, no new estimated dates (not that they'd be worth anything". Just a lot of stuff about how Roberts isn't going to compromise on his vision.

[Samprimary]

the roadmap to the roadmap to the roadmap has been delayed

[Samprimary]

i am tempted to actually play this infinite-sea-of-weinerjuice in eternal alpha just to get a sense of how fucked up development has been or what they even did to get things so off track, but i have to find someone to gift me an account i can use to toodle around and fuck my ship through any collision detection orifice i can find in the engine

[schild]

i am tempted to actually play this infinite-sea-of-weinerjuice in eternal alpha just to get a sense of how fucked up development has been or what they even did to get things so off track, but i have to find someone to gift me an account i can use to toodle around and fuck my ship through any collision detection orifice i can find in the engine

review cuck first

[Samprimary]

granted, i do still have to do that

but right now i am busy trying to learn how to wake up without putting myself through the wall of my shitty apartment and dying

[Samprimary]

Oh good my optimal hydration level has been achieved. Wrap it up, my star citizen character already has more of life figured out than I do

[Samprimary]

when using the native resolution of my monitor, this chugs at 17 fps on my brand new computer. i plug in a different, smaller monitor to get it up to a healthy 30fps, but it clips off half the UI. getting out of my bed puts my head halfway through the ceiling and i hang in the air trying to crouch-walk my way back out of the ceiling collision detection. i awkwardly fall through, roll my way to the door, and walk through seas of blank-faced npc's, each one of them either blankly staring at a wall or standing on a chair, lost presumably in their own ennui. a half an hour later i have succeeded at my morning commute to the spaceport, where i summon my ship of the day. it is hovering. i do not think it is supposed to. i deploy the staircase. the staircase clips ... something, the ley lines, perhaps. it is a bad interaction. the spirits are displeased with my impertinence. the ship starts rotating awkwardly and then ejects itself out the side of the building at .4 the speed of light, and i die instantly

this game has been in production for almost a decade

[Samprimary]

- leave docking bay
- get assimilated by "autopilot override"
- mash buttons until i turn the engines off and on again
- during limited period of free-fall, the autopilot becomes confused about my actual vector and starts flying me into buildings
- pictured: me, being abducted merrily through all the buildings on the planetary surface, wondering where my ultimate destination lies
- chat describes the issue as an intransigent 'hardware error' (whose, mine?) effecting people at random for reasons and requiring reinstall

this game has been in production for almost a decade

[Chimpy]

- leave docking bay
- get assimilated by "autopilot override"
- mash buttons until i turn the engines off and on again
- during limited period of free-fall, the autopilot becomes confused about my actual vector and starts flying me into buildings
- pictured: me, being abducted merrily through all the buildings on the planetary surface, wondering where my ultimate destination lies
- chat describes the issue as an intransigent 'hardware error' (whose, mine?) effecting people at random for reasons and requiring reinstall

this game has been in production for almost a decade

review cuck first

 

[Draegan]

Not sure who the cuck is in this situation but that game is fucking someone.

[Sky]

Except somehow the ball gag went in the butt.

[Samprimary]

Not sure who the cuck is in this situation but that game is fucking someone.

it is me, every time my ship clip-warps into the earth and gets vaporized, i have to file a replacement insurance claim and wait for it to be processed, at which point the ship is returned to me with basic stock equipment and minus any upgrades

[Cyrrex]

Not sure who the cuck is in this situation but that game is fucking someone.

it is me, every time my ship clip-warps into the earth and gets vaporized, i have to file a replacement insurance claim and wait for it to be processed, at which point the ship is returned to me with basic stock equipment and minus any upgrades

Is that a real thing that happens?  For any other game I might think you were pulling legs.

[Samprimary]

Yes, actually. My ship blew itself the fuck up by catapulting itself through the hangar wall. I wake up in bed again. I have to leave the habitat, take the elevator again, then walk to the subway, then take the subway to the spaceport, then go to a terminal and enter a claim for a ship replacement, then it tells me u have to wait for the claim to be processed. You can expedite it for a fee. The aristocrats

[Cyrrex]

You make it sound found with all those elevator and subway trips.

[Khaldun]

Elevator Squad 42: Your quest is to deliver at least one hundred pilots to another floor of a large space station where they can continue their walk to the subway. There are more expensive elevators with customized music available if you are willing to buy them with the new Elevator Squad 42 Maxi-Pack. If you leave your shift on the elevator before one hundred pilots your count starts over. If you calculate maximum efficiency on door closings, Mark Hamill's voice [tm] will briefly congratulate you, though sometimes this causes a hardware error that will require you to buy a new sound card for your PC.

Insurance Adjuster Squad 42: Your goal is to delay as long as possible the processing of claims for destroyed ships. You first must collect all parts of your Complex Paperwork Kit by hunting randomly through 300 file cabinets unless you would like to buy the optional new Insurance Adjuster Squad 42 Complex Paperwork Kit Maxi-Pack with a customed-designed letterhead (the letterhead design tool is in alpha testing still, as they want to figure out how much oxygen a letterhead designer in a compressed-air office complex uses before putting the tool into beta). If you can delay one hundred players for at least ten minutes of real time, you will receive an achievement that will entitle you a special paperwork completion chamber on your customized spaceship if your spaceship cost more than $200 to purchase. This feature is in early alpha.

[Samprimary]

if you do not delete your post before chris roberts sees it that will become the next gameplay loop

[Sky]

True fact: this thread is the design doc.

[slog]

Does this game have any redeeming features at all?

[Cyrrex]

Does this game have any redeeming features at all?

Uh, 114 pages of hilarity and counting not enough for you?

[slog]

Does this game have any redeeming features at all?

Uh, 114 pages of hilarity and counting not enough for you?

The thread has been fantastic yes.  I ask because a part of me just says "this game can't be that bad, right?"

[Trippy]

You can watch it for yourself on Twitch. It’s one of the more popular games being streamed right now.

[slog]

You can watch it for yourself on Twitch. It’s one of the more popular games being streamed right now.

I picked the streamer with the largest number of viewers.  First words I hear are "You are stuck in the wall?"

[Trippy]

Working As Intended

[01101010]

Chock full of features I assume. 

[Samprimary]

Does this game have any redeeming features at all?

the developers have actually fleshed out a ridiculously expansive immersion setup. in other space sims, you more or less exist as a ship that you switch out in menus from a collection, but you yourself don't exist.

in star citizen, you exist as you. the effect both in terms of immersion and gameplay loop satisfaction is actually very important.

the ships themselves also exist in wanton abundance in all sorts of niches, aesthetics, and performances.

assuming a competent development plan were to be implemented now to solidify game performance and gameplay mechanics and try to get the entire structure of the game to some semblance of feature complete plus stable (which from where i'm looking is like two more years out minimum — the whole thing is garishly unstable) you would have a great game with lots of ways to waste time and enjoy yourself doing spaceshippy things.

all of that is presently a pipe dream though because a competent development plan has never yet existed and their coding implementation is haphazard at best. chris roberts obviously has no containment of scope creep.

[Samprimary]

i am so trying to complete a mission out of spite now.

i got all the way to another planet, then i got the goods, then i got them to the planet i was supposed to get them to, and i picked it up and stepped out of the ship and the deploying stepladder pushed me into orbit and i died

[Tebonas]

One really wonders how David Braben managed to bring out Elite Dangerous in complete working conditions for just 1.5 Millions from Kickstarter if its that impossibly difficult. He must be a Wizard, those British and their Hogwarts training!  

[Cyrrex]

i am so trying to complete a mission out of spite now.

i got all the way to another planet, then i got the goods, then i got them to the planet i was supposed to get them to, and i picked it up and stepped out of the ship and the deploying stepladder pushed me into orbit and i died

But was this in some kind of, like, awesome way where you were in a zero g environment and a deploying ladder would credibly push you out of the mag-lock thingy and you totally shoulda just been watching wtf you were doing?  Sounds like it is working like it's supposed to!

[Khaldun]

You have to have purchased the Ultra-Access Mag-Ladder 3000 (only $100 extra!) to have a 95% chance of being able to exit your ship without being killed. The base game Mag-Ladder unfortunately only allows for a 50 percent chance of survival until you have levelled up your skills in the Ladder Ladder.

[Samprimary]

i really enjoy the straight fucking verve of these collision errors. nothing's SUBTLE. a stray polygon from the overelaborate docking ladder animate-clips with your chi and then whambo bambo you are ejected into the core of the planet, or your ship starts spinning faster than a neutron star, ejects itself out of the top of the hangar, and travels off to z-fight God

[Samprimary]

yooo i stepped out a elevator into the absolute fucking void. just like, literally nothing was loaded

i am still traveling through it. i can tell that i am moving because the door back into the elevator exists as a frame of reference

[Samprimary]

i got all the way to a faraway planet on a retrieval mission. i did everything right. i landed perfectly. i just had to go out and collect two crates off the ground. i took the ladder down and fell into the planet. i just watched the surface zoom away above me as i started to die of hypothermia. i can't believe it. there is not a single mission i have been able to complete. i can't be a star citizen. they won't even give me a star green card

[Chimpy]

i am so trying to complete a mission out of spite now.

i got all the way to another planet, then i got the goods, then i got them to the planet i was supposed to get them to, and i picked it up and stepped out of the ship and the deploying stepladder pushed me into orbit and i died

That mission is to review cuck.